Harry Potter and the Convenient Plot Device to go Back in Time and Make Things Right

2001
Evening
Ministry of Magic ruins

Two people stood above the rubble, the central plaza having since crumbled beneath the real buildings of London above.

The lifeless of form of a grinning Voldemort lay broken atop the statue, his hand still on his wand, having been killed by those two.

"Hermoine..." The other boy whimpered, his wide eyes taking in the scenery, "Are we going to play Quidditch soon? Ron likes to watch it..."

She sighed and shook her head, muttering some spells to heal the large cuts on her arms, already adding to the other scars that were laden on her limbs, torso and face.

"No Harry, Hogwarts is gone, remember? The Death Eaters turned its own protection against the castle and shattered the walls." She held back a sob, "Ron's dead, Bellatrix got him, followed by Ginny."

"Ginny?" Harry furrowed his brow, "Who's that?"

Hermoine groaned, knowing that she shouldn't have bothered explaining. She secretly cursed the Diadem of Ravenclaw for doing this to Harry.

Crouching down, Harry looked at the rocks and noticed his balance was off, but his eyesight was much better. He began to scream in horror.

Of course, not having a left arm and owning the latest in magical optical enhancement would do that to you. He turned his face to her, the red eye in his normal eye socket flitting about frequently, as he stopped his terrified cries.

"Heh... So all the Shit Eaters are dead, huh?" His laugh was cruel, but tinged with another, less sane, emotion, "No wonder, when they followed that stupid snake..."

He raised his wand at Voldemort and fired a curse at it. The body bounced off and fell to the ground, the Avada Kedavra curse doing nothing to an already dead body.

"Oh poo, that didn't work, eh?" With a quivering smile, Harry cast the Imperio curse and made the corpse dance to the tune of an unseen jig.

"Stop it, Harry!" Hermoine was horrified and covered her face.

"Bah, you're no fun Hermy... Not like last time..."

"That was different, you bastard!" She started crying and pulled out her wand, pointing it directly at Harry's face, "Ron died saving me, I had no one else to count on, but you took advantage of that. Now, put him down, Harry."

Smirking evilly, Harry leered at her, "You know, you were very tasty, another sample wouldn't hurt -"

A red light lanced by and split open his cheek, as Hermoine's cheeks were flushed red with anger and embarrassment, tears beginning to form.

Looking down at the blood dripping onto the ground, he licked the side of his mouth, drinking his blood, and looked at her defiantly.

"Fine... I'll release him..." Harry looked at Voldemort and released the spell, only to cast another, "REDUCTO!"

The body exploded from the impact, sending flesh and bone flying everywhere, showering them with rotten blood.

"For God's sake, Harry!" Hermoine was disgusted at him.

He began to shriek with laughter and sang, "Old Voldy's gone mouldy!"

He grinned, before suddenly switching to a more serious look, his eyes narrowing and calculating. Lowering his hand, he looked at them both before removing the blood from both of them.

"Thank God, you're back..." Hermoine sighed, "How are you?"

"My body is fine, aside from the usual problems of a lack of limb." He stared up at her, "I apologise for earlier, as you know, the personality switches at random, though as we know now, things will change when I go into the past."

Hermoine nodded and looked around her. The Greatest Fire of London was still burning, the magical curse of Fiendfyre that one Death Eater cast eating through anything until it consumed all it could. No amount of fire brigades or magic could stop it.

She started to feel her face the smooth skin now marred by rugged scarring, and she cried.

"Please... Make things better, Harry... For you, for us, for everyone..."

"That I will do..." Harry walked over and gave her a hug, "I'll eliminate his life and soul within the necessary time limit, and will ensure your safety as well as the others."

She allowed herself to be pulled in to the hug, and felt warmer, before stepping back.

"I'll begin the rune enchanting, you can get to work on the magical barriers needed and the items from the Department of Mysteries."

"Understood."

Harry began to place the obelisks and the ancient relics in intricate patterns, before sitting cross-legged in the middle of the circle he created.

"All done Harry." She gave him one last smile, "Good luck..."

"Goodbye, Hermoine..." The light around him grew brighter as the lines flared up, sending his soul into the past, "I'll miss you..."

And then he was gone.

Author's Notes

And now for something a little different...

A parody of all those time travel fics.

- J