Tis a silly story which makes fun of a certain character...Read And Review.

I don't own Harry Potter; if I did, I would have had any or all of the Weasleys die to spare the twins.

A New Girl At Hogwarts

It was the first day of the new term at Hogwarts, and the air was full of excitement. The students had just been sorted, and they were about to begin the feast, when all of a sudden, the ceiling of the Great Hall, which had previously been overcast with a chance of rain, opened up into dazzling, brilliant sunlight. With a magnificent crash, the doors flew open, and all of the occupants, excluding the six that were blinded, leaned forward to see who had done it. A figure clad in a pure white spaghetti strap shirt, a super cute black mini, and thigh high gold boots appeared, a ray of pure light reflecting off her perfect blonde hair.

"So sorry I'm late," she said in a musical tone, walking between the rows to the Headmaster's table, "But I had to take out two Death Eaters while saving a kitten."

She paused for a moment, smiling so that all the men in the room swooned, "Allow me to introduce myself. My name is Mariana Allegra Rose Yasmyn Seraphim Ursula Evans, but friend call me Mary Sue for short. I'm a half Elf, half Angel, half Faerie, and I just moved here from America!"

The girl beamed, earning spontaneous but hearty applause from the crowds.

"Miss Evans," wheezed Dumbledore, who was half blinded by her glory, "Would you please come to be sorted?"

"Of course!" she giggled, bouncing over to the old man, who placed the hat on her head.

"Hmm," the Sorting Hat mused, "You're obviously brave, so Gryffindor would be a natural truth, but for some reason, although you're all pure and good, I think you'd make a good Slytherin. But you're smart enough to be a Ravenclaw, and sweet enough to be a Hufflepuff. This calls for something special; you're a Grytherleclaw!"

Mary Sue bounced up and down excitedly. "You mean I'm a combination of all houses so I can come and go as I please, charming all that I meet?"

"That's correct," Dumbledore stated, "Now, take a seat, Miss Evans, so we may begin our feast."

Humming a happy tune, the girl skipped to a bench, squeezing herself between Ron and Harry and somehow across from Draco.

"Hi guys!" she chirped, beaming eagerly at all of them, "I really hope I make friends here soon! Because at my old school I was a cheerleader, valedictorian, and the prom queen!"

Ron, trying to keep from drooling, stammered, "Y-you'll make friends easily. W-why wouldn't everyone love a g-girl like you?"

Her eyes shimmered with a hidden sorrow, though her smile never wavered.

"Well, my daddy doesn't love me," Mary Sue said, sadness seeping through her voice, "He's hated me ever since I refused to fight for him and become his weapon. But I could never work for such an evil person, especially since he killed my mother. Which is why I use her surname instead. Oh, and Harry – did I mention that I'm your younger half sister?"

Harry, who had also been drooling, shook himself out of his stupor and yelped, "I have a sister?"

"Yes," she replied, nodding brightly, "And the prophecy really applies to me, so you're off the hook!"

Before he could respond, the doors to the Great Hall flung open once again, this time revealing a fiery red haired beauty, who stormed over to Mary Sue.

"There's only room for ONE Mary Sue in this school," she yelled, "And I was here first!"

With a vicious snarl, she slapped her as hard as she could, which made Mary Sue dissolve, as she couldn't exist if hated. The redhead smiled, taking her place smugly. There was only room for one Mary Sue in Hogwarts, and Ginerva Molly Weasley wasn't going to let anyone take her place.