Meredith woke slowly, the head of her sleeping husband was nestled in her neck as she curled her body against his. He was sleeping soundly as the morning sun slipped in through the blinds on the window like a burglar's flashlight, peering through, piercing the darkness of the room. The low rumblings of wake were descending upon the sleeping couple as the sound of pounding feet could be heard in the hallway, likely the source of interruption to Meredith's sleep.

Listening carefully, she could hear the soft giggling of her boys and the quiet whispering of Mark, telling them to hush and get downstairs for breakfast to allow their parents to sleep. "Derek…" Meredith whispered to her slumbering husband, curled within her embrace, the soft breeze caused by her breath moving his soft dark wisps of hair into her face as she whispered his name, feeling his body curl tighter around hers. "Derek… sweetheart…" Meredith whispered again. "Der?"

His groan came from deep in his chest, his mouth opening as he yawned a big yawn, pulling from her arms slightly to lift his head, his crystal blue eyes meeting hers as he stared blankly at her for a moment. "Hi." He whispered, his husky voice was thick with sleep, the throaty sound he made as he tried not to yawn as he watched her look into his eyes, studying his mind for a moment without saying a word.

"Hi." She finally whispered, swallowing hard as she watched his reactions. His lips curled slightly as a smile was brought to his face, and it seemed for a moment as if they were both lost in one another enough to forget the worries that were likely to erase that smile from their faces.

"You're here." He whispered.

"I am here." She replied. "How is your head?" She whispered.

"Hurts…" he whispered back, tasting the aftertaste of liquor on his tongue, he made a face.

"Are you alright?" She whispered.

"I've had harder nights of drinking…" He winked at her, a slight cringe as he closed his eyes. "Mind you… it was before I was married and had two…"

"And one tenth…"

"Two and one tenth children…" Derek looked her in the eyes. "I…never…"

"It's fine…" Meredith smiled softly.

"Do you need to…?"

"If I don't move… I should be fine…" Meredith smirked.

"Good… because I think I puked enough for the both of us out in the front lawn…" Derek nodded, watching Meredith's hand go to her mouth. "Talking about it doesn't help, does it?" He asked, watching her shake her head. "Sorry…" he whispered. "Let's think of something else… like… puppies or kittens or… how I am going to get through the morning at the hospital with a splitting headache."

"Hospital?" Meredith asked.

"Richard said he'd show us around… he was at the bar last night when Mark and…"

"Richard?" Meredith sat up slightly. "Richard Webber?"

"Yeah… he's the chief of surgery at Seattle Grace…"

"Richard Webber…?" Meredith asked as she swallowed hard.

"Meri… you know…" Derek said with a surprised glance as he sat up, watching her nod slowly as she tried to find the words to explain herself.

Meredith watched his eyes implore hers, looking deeply within the sparkling blue-green orbs that could stop his world from turning. She knew that he wanted an explanation, and she wondered how much he could know. Her mother was not an open book, her mother was not the one that told him this, it must have been Richard. "Derek…" She said softly, watching him tilt his head as he sat up a little more, the pain in his head obvious from the cringing face he was making.

"You know about Richard…"

"How much do you know about Richard?" She whispered.

He smiled slightly as he watched the hint of playfulness in her eyes. "You tell me what you know first…"

"No, no… You are just trying to gauge how much you're going to tell me based on how much I already know… I know your tricks, Derek Shepherd… tell me what you know…"

His smile widened slightly as he watched the sly look on her face. She did know him well, a little too well at times and she was right. He was going to give her only the information she needed, as long as it didn't hurt her. "I only know what he told me… and some of what your mother told me…"

"They were in a relationship." Meredith whispered, glancing to the door. "My mother… and Richard… at the hospital, she cheated on my father."

"You know this…" Derek nodded, his voice was still gravely and low from sleep and this was quite a deep conversation to be having this early, but it had to be said sometime, and it appeared to be spilling out right then and there.

"I read notes… and letters that she had written. I was home alone a lot… and sometimes I'd go through my mother's things… and… I did find a lot of things that were… probably not for my eyes. But I know that Richard and my mother were… um… close…" She said with a slight cringe. "And… I guess… that's why my mother left my father… because of it all… the affair… or whatever…" She shrugged, watching Derek nod. "Now what do you know?"

"That… all that you said…" He nodded.

"That's it?"

"Yeah… yeah, that's it…" He nodded his head as he smiled slightly, his eyes flashing to the right before returning to hers.

"What else, Derek?" She asked, watching him yawn. "There's something more…"

"There's nothing more…" Derek said, suddenly, Meredith raised her hands and clapped really loudly in his face. "Ow… what the hell…" He said, grabbing his head as it started to throb.

"Tell me…" She said, slapping her hands really loudly together as he cringed and covered his ears.

"Stop…"

"Tell me what you're keeping from me…" She said as she started to clap really loudly as Derek tried to hide beneath the pillow "Tell me….tell me… tell me…" She chanted as she clapped her hands.

"Fine!" He exclaimed, grabbing her hands mid clap as he pulled her down on top of him, her nose pressed into his. "Torturous bitch…"

"Lying sack of shit…" She kissed his nose. "Tell me…"

"Your… mother… didn't leave your father." Derek said with a sigh, watching as he swallowed hard.

"She said…"

"Your mother was kicked out by your father… your father divorced her… and because…" He sighed, watching the concern in her face he had to pause. "Meredith…"

"What, Derek? What?" She whispered as she rolled to her side of the bed again, lying on her side facing him, he faced her and sighed.

"Because your father was so adamant about the divorce… your mother took you to Boston with her…against your father's wishes… she took you from him and kept you from him..."

"She said that he had lost custody…that he didn't want me."

"He couldn't find you. In your mother's eyes, he had lost the right to be your father. She took you from him… he loved you, and she took you from him."

"No…" Meredith shook her head. "No, he didn't want me…" She said with a whimper as she felt tears welling in her eyes. "That's what she said, she said that he just made it easier for her… because she wasn't in love with him anymore… so he just gave me up… that's what she said…"

"Meredith…" Derek whispered, shaking his head. "That's not what your mother said… that's what she's worried about… That's why she didn't want you out here in Seattle, Meri… She made a lot of mistakes out here… she made a lot of enemies and she hurt a lot of people… She wanted to come out here to make things right before she died…"

"She lied to me!" Meredith exclaimed, tears rolling down her cheeks as Derek watched her carefully. "Derek, she lied to me!"

"Yes… she lied to you… and she has lied to you about a million things… but she's your mother… and she had her reasons… and she loved you… and she still loves you, Meri…"

"I could have had a father…" She whimpered, covering her face with her hand.

"Meri." Derek whispered as he ran his fingertips through her hair, his eyes looking deeply into hers as she swallowed hard. "Could you honestly imagine your life being much better than it is now… if you had a father? Would it really have made that big of a difference?"

"Mommy!" A little voice squeaked as the door swung open and two little feet pounded quickly across the floor, leaping onto the bottom of the bed as Meredith tried to control her tears.

"Mommy, Mommy, DADDY!" Greyson shouted as he bounced onto the bed after his brother, flopping into the bed behind his brother as they cuddled with their parents as they stared into one another's eyes, having a conversation within their minds that only they could hear as Meredith broke eye contact.

"What is this monstrous interruption?" Meredith asked as Richie clung to her with a giggle and a kiss, her eyes flashing up to Derek.

"Its time to get up and party!" Richie exclaimed with a laugh.

"Yes! Party!" Greyson exclaimed as he sat on Derek, hopping a little as Derek held his hand up to the little boy's back so he wouldn't fall.

"Copy cat!" Richie exclaimed.

"I'm not a copy cat!" Greyson exclaimed, lunging for his brother.

"Yes you are!" Richie shouted as the two boys started to wrestle between their parents.

Derek smiled across at his wife as she gave him a sad smile, their eyes communicating a mutual agreement of happiness as they each lifted a boy from their wrestling match and rolled them to their feet off the bed. "Alright boys… let's let mommy get up and get dressed…" He said as he watched the two boys run out of the room, climbing from the bed himself with a groan. He turned and leaned over the bed as Meredith lay on her side looking up at him. "I don't give a flying poop whether you were raised by your mother… your father… a monkey, or a pack of wolves… You're mine now… and that's all that matters to me." He whispered, kissing her lips softly as he listened to the squealing of the two boys in the hallway. "And I suppose I'll share you a bit with them…"

"Ewww!" Richie exclaimed from the doorway as he watched his parents kiss.

"I'll give you eww! Come give daddy a kiss!" Derek exclaimed as he stood up and ran out of the room after the giggling little boys, leaving Meredith on the bed, a smile on her face and only a small weight in her heart, that could have been much bigger if it hadn't been for the love that surrounded it.

Derek walked downstairs following the boys, and he heard the sound of two voices arguing in the kitchen. He glanced to Greyson and Richie and nodded towards the couch. "You two hang out here… daddy will be right back…"

"Where are you going?" Greyson asked, watching Derek as he looked towards the kitchen.

"Just hang out in here, will you? You can ask questions in a little while…" Derek said with a chuckle as he pointed toward the couch, where the two boys sat down and watched him walk into the kitchen.

Mark was standing at the table, his hands on the surface while Ellis sit reading a newspaper. Mark's face was red and angry, while Ellis sit with her patented 'I hear you, but I'm clearly not listening' look on her face.

"So what's going on in here?" Derek asked with a sigh, seeing that Mark was clearly frustrated and Ellis was not impressed by his angry demeanor.

"Doctor Sloan here is tossing around his masculinity as if it were the hairspray that you use in your hair… which is looking increasingly thinner lately.." Ellis said without looking up, smirking at her newspaper.

"Hey! That was a low blow! I'm being good…" Derek exclaimed as he ran his hand through his hair, giving Mark a light punch on the arm. "Hey… just leave her alone…"

"But she's being a stubborn goat…"

"She's being a person with free will and personal strength…" Derek said, watching out of the corner of his eye as Ellis looked up at him. "It's not every day a person with two bright and beautiful grandchildren and a family that loves her can make the decision to put herself at risk at the hands of a egomaniacal surgeon with a unhealthy love for his follicles." Derek said with a smirk as he watched Ellis laugh to herself and shake her head.

"So you're going to do the surgery…" Mark said, furrowing his brow. "You're a goddamned…"

"No." Derek shook his head. "I'm not going to do the surgery… and she knows I'm not going to do it… so either way, she gets what she wants…she wants to die… let her die…"

"Hey I'm sitting right here…" Ellis said as she looked up at the two of them.

"I know you are…but dead people can't hear… and they rarely care what is being said about them." Derek said as he watched her glare at him.

"No… I mean I am here, and my coffee cup is empty… refill it please…" She said as she held up her coffee cup and waited for a moment.

The two men stared at her for a second, unsure of exactly what to do, when suddenly Mark grabbed her cup and walked to the coffee maker. "Goddamned slave driver…" Mark muttered as Ellis only smirked as Derek shook his head and chuckled.

Derek and Mark showered and left for the hospital together, but not before picking on Ellis for a few more minutes until Meredith came in and set them straight. The two men were gone and Greyson had found his Snuggle bear in the bedroom that his parents had been sleeping in. The two boys were sitting on the couch while Ellis remained in the dining room a little longer with her crossword puzzle book and coffee.

Meredith spent some of her time looking through some of the boxes of old belongings and heirlooms, smiling at a memory of something here or there that she remembered, or a picture from when she was a little girl. Meredith looked up when she thought she had heard her mother's voice from the dining room and she glanced to the couch and moved towards the door. Listening carefully, she heard her mother talking on the telephone. She waited a few moments and when her mother stopped talking, she walked over to the phone on the table.

"Who are you calling, Mommy?" Greyson asked, promptly receiving the 'shush' symbol from his mother with her finger to her lips, he smiled and whispered. "Who are you calling, Mommy…?" He whispered softly as she pushed redial. She waited for the ring to stop and she heard what she thought she had heard when her mother was talking.

"A taxi…" Meredith whispered as she hung up the phone. She looked down at her son and smiled. "I'm calling crazy…" She said with laugh as she leaned down and pressed her forehead to his.

"Crazy?" He asked with a giggle.

"Yep… I'm calling crazy, because that's where I'm going!"

"You're going to crazy?" Richie asked, laughing loudly.

"I am… that I am…" Meredith laughed. "Go get your shoes on… you both can come with me…"

"Yeah!" Richie exclaimed as he jumped from the couch.

"Yay!" Greyson giggled as he followed her brother. "We're going to crazy with mommy!" He said with an excited shout. "Where's that?" He asked, his smile disappearing as he asked her seriously.

"We'll just have to wait and see, won't we…" She asked with a wink. She stepped over to the table and grabbed her keys. "Get your shoes on, Mommy is going to tell GG where we're going." She said with a half smile as the boys struggled to pull their sneakers on. Meredith stepped into the kitchen and glanced into the dining room as she sighed. "Mom… I'm taking the boys out… would you like to come with us?"

"No, dear… I'm fine here…" Ellis nodded. "Thank you."

"Are you sure? We can take you anywhere you want to go…" Meredith said with raised eyebrows.

"I'm going to stay in today." Ellis nodded. "But thank you…"

"We'll… see you later then…" Meredith sighed with a weak smile.

"See you later…" Ellis waved as she finally looked up from her puzzle.

Meredith waved slightly and turned to walk out of the kitchen. She could feel the anxiety over her mother's purported future trip. She sighed. "You're feeling alright?"

"Meredith… go… have a good time with the boys… go…" Ellis said with a sigh.

"Bye, Mom… you have my cell phone number, right?"

"Yes, Meredith! Go!" Ellis exclaimed, her voice serious as she shook her head at her daughter. "Just go…" She sighed.

"I'm just going to… go…" Meredith sighed as she turned and walked out of the kitchen. She gathered the boys and packed them into the car and climbed into the car herself. As she pulled out of the driveway and started to drive down the road, she passed a taxi cab coming in her direction. She slowed and watched it, her eyes following it closely, and just as she had suspected, it pulled into the driveway of the house.

Derek and Mark walked through the door of the hospital and were immediately greeted by Richard. "You look like you're pretty together for someone who was so smashed last night." Richard said with a chuckle, watching the younger doctor smile softly as he shook his hand.

"I can cover up hangover very well… though… with growing up with four older sisters and having two children… it takes more than a little bit of liquor to knock me down." Derek said with a chuckle.

"How is Ellis?"

"She's a pain in the ass." Mark muttered as the other two men laughed.

"Stubborn as usual… and she knows I won't do the procedure…" Derek sighed. "We're going to have to do something…" He shrugged.

"Come on up to my office, there's a few journal articles I'd like to show you on the procedure…" Richard said as they walked toward the elevator. "Doctor Sloan, you don't mind, do you?"

"Actually… I need to give my girlfriend a call… let her know we got in alright… though I'm sure Meri already called her." He said as he nodded. "I'll catch up with you."

"You're going to call Cris?" Derek laughed. "He's so whipped."

"I am not whipped…I just… like to let her know I'm alright… even if she doesn't care." Mark shrugged. "But I'm not whipped."

"Did she tell you to call?"

"Maybe…" Mark mumbled.

"He's whipped…" Derek and Richard replied, laughing as Mark scowled and pulled his cell phone out and walked toward the lobby as Derek and Richard stepped into the elevator.

"Where is crazy, Mommy?" Greyson asked, watching his mother drive into someone's driveway.

"Crazy is right around the corner…" Meredith sighed as she waited for a moment for the taxicab to pull out of the driveway. When the cab was on its way down the road, Meredith pulled out into the road and followed after it.

"Which corner, Mommy? Which corner is crazy around?" Richie asked.

"It won't be long…" Meredith said with a smile as she glanced to the boys in the rear view mirror and winked at them. "Why don't you two sit back and enjoy the ride we're taking."

"Okay…" Greyson smiled as he cuddled his Snuggle bear to him and looked out the window as Meredith drove.

Meredith drove after the taxi, traveling at a safe distance so that it didn't appear that she was following them. The boys sat in the back seat quietly watching the scenery pass as they made their way through the suburban streets of Seattle. They drove into a newer neighborhood, and eventually, the taxi pulled into the driveway of a small ranch style home. Meredith drove past it and down the road, pulling down a side street that ended in a dead end. Meredith turned around in the dead end and pulled the car to the side of the road, where they sat for several moments, with a fairly clear view of the house that the taxi had stopped at.

"What are we doing, Mommy?" Richie asked.

"We're just resting for a minute…" Meredith replied.

"Oh." Richie said, his brow furrowing as his mother seemed to be acting very strange. He watched her look out the window and waited for her to do something, when suddenly, she began driving again. "Where are we going now?" He asked.

Meredith pulled closer, watching her mother walk up the driveway to the house, she waited for the taxi to pull away before she approached the house slowly. She rolled down her window and watched as her mother rang the doorbell, a man came to the door. Meredith remained at the corner for a moment, watching the exchange as her mother talked to the man at the door, his demeanor seemed cold, and her mother's strangely was polite and kind. Meredith could hear her mother's voice straining slightly.

"Is that GG?" Richie asked.

"Hush…" Meredith whispered as they watched from afar.

"Mama… that's GG over there…"

"Yes…" Meredith whispered. "Hush, baby…" She whispered as she heard her mother's voice raise, not in anger, but almost a sad wail, her arm moving toward the driveway as if to indicate that she had been driven there by a taxi. The man's voice was becoming louder and when he finally stepped out onto the porch, Meredith recognized him. "No…" She whispered, shaking her head as she swallowed hard. She watched as the man approached her mother quickly, almost as if he was going to hurt her, and she watched her mother retreat. Meredith pulled carefully from the road she had been hiding at and pulled into the driveway where the taxi had pulled out. She watched the man angrily shout at her mother and her emotions got the best of her as she leapt from the car and yanked the keys from the ignition.

"Where are you going, Mommy?" Greyson asked nervously.

"I'll be right back… you boys stay here… Richie, watch your brother… just stay here, Mommy will be right there…" She said, pointing toward the lawn as she closed the door and rushed toward the altercation at the front door.

"I knew that this was going to happen!" The man exclaimed as he stepped forward towards Ellis. "I knew that as soon as I handed that house over to you that you'd show up here, I knew it!"

"I didn't come here about the house." Ellis said, trying to be stubborn, though her resolve was quickly breaking.

"You're not even supposed to be in this city, let alone my lawn. You're not welcome here." He growled.

"Thatcher, there are some things that I think that you should know, that you should understand."

"If it involves you, then I want nothing to do with it. You're nothing but a liar. A bitter, angry, old whore!"

"Excuse me?" A voice rang above the sound of the two people standing on the lawn.

Ellis' head snapped in the direction of Meredith. "Meri… no…" She whispered, shaking her head.

"Did you… I mean… I'm standing here… and I… I could have sworn that you just called my mother a whore…Did I hear that right?" Meredith asked, her voice was angry and defensive, and Ellis stood, trying to find some way to resolve this, to end this. This wasn't what she wanted at all. She had a plan and it was all falling to pieces, and now there they were, Meredith and Thatcher in the same place staring at one another. Meredith was breathing through her nose, her nostrils were flaring slightly as her eyes stared determinedly at the man before her. Thatcher's mouth had dropped open, his eyes wide with surprise as he stared at the woman before him.

"Meredith?" He whispered. "I… I'm… I…"

"I know who you are." Meredith said angrily. "We don't need a formal greeting or salutation, I think you've said enough for both of us."

"Meri… Meri you…"

"No, Mom… this has been a long time in coming…" Meredith said angrily. "Are you going to answer my question?"

"Meredith… I…" Thatcher stammered.

"Did you… or did you not call my mother a whore?" Meredith growled. "Because…it is one thing for you to stand here… and tell her she was a bad wife… or that she made you angry… or that she hurt you… but to stand there… on your own front lawn and call her… this woman in front of you, whom you haven't seen in over thirty years…a mother… grandmother… a world renowned surgeon… a whore? That is disgusting…" Meredith said with an angry, disgusted face. "That is disgusting and you should be ashamed of yourself!" She scolded.

"Meri… I… its okay… it's… he's entitled to be angry…"

"This isn't about anger, Mom… this isn't anger… this is bitterness… this is... ugly, nasty, horrible bitterness… and this is not going to be stood for. What do you have to say for yourself?"

"Meredith… I… I can't believe that you're here…" He said softly, still stunned that she was standing there before him. He watched her carefully as she sneered at him, unsure of what to say or do.

"Let's go, Mom…" Meredith said quickly as she tried to ignore his words.

"Meredith…Don't go…don't go, stay…"

"I'm not staying… I don't know you." Meredith said abruptly. "Come on, Mom…"

"Meredith." Thatcher said, reaching out he touched her arm. She turned around defensively and snarled at him.

"Don't touch me." Meredith growled.

"I…I want to talk to you."

"I don't want to talk to you. You've said enough for the both of us." Meredith snapped.

"You're not being fair, Meredith." Thatcher raised his voice. "You're not being fair to me. I'm your father. She took you away from me… she took you away from your family… I'm not the one you should be angry at… I'm not the one… She's the one that did this… She's the one that broke this family with her lying and her cheating. She's the one that…"

"She's the one that raised me." Meredith said, turning, stepping forward. Thatcher took a step back, her display of defensiveness was overpowering as she glared angrily at him, her blue-green eyes were darkening as she took another step forward, sending him back another step. "She's the one that raised me… and taught me… and pushed me. She's the reason that I am the person that I am today… She… is the strongest woman that I have ever met… and she is wonderfully stubborn and heartbreakingly effective in every way. She didn't force perfection on me… she encouraged it… and she has been there for every important moment of my life. She is busy and important… and although my childhood… was difficult… it was very difficult for me to understand… and there were things that I didn't experience as a child that I could have, should have, would have… if I had a father as well… or if she wasn't trying her hardest to make her way up the ranks of a male saturated career so that I would at least have a chance to survive in my chosen path… She was there when she could be there… She was there when I needed… her to be there… She was at my graduation from high school, college… Medical school… She is my mentor… my inspiration. She was one of the first people to hold each of my sons, she knows their favorite ice cream, their favorite bedtime stories, and their favorite stuffed animals, and she is the ONLY other woman that I have ever heard my husband say he loved other than his own family!" Meredith paused for a moment as she felt her mother's hand in hers.

"The only unfairness of the situation… Thatcher Grey… is that I had a father… when I was a little girl… I had a father… and I may have been taken away from him… and despite my mother's stubbornness… despite her headstrong, greedy, sometimes overbearing, bossy demeanor… she was never… not once, negligent in her responsibilities… her duties as my mother. She may have taken me from you… but I find absolutely no indication that you ever wanted anything to do with me in the first place. You signed the divorce papers… you gave up custody… and I never heard from you again. THAT is unfair. Being a parent is a full time job…there are ups, there are downs… and there are times that you have to struggle to make things work… you were the one that quit that struggle…in quitting, you relinquished the right to be my father. My mother is not a quitter…Mr. Grey. She does not quit… She has never quit… anything… in her entire life… not once… ever… and that's why she came here… to prove that to you, and to herself…" Meredith exclaimed, her face was red and angry, the tears were evident in her eyes as Ellis pulled her hand. "Are you going to listen to her? Are you going to hear what she has to say?"

"I…"

"Mommy?" A tiny voice came from behind them as Meredith's attention was immediately pulled away, the anger and hatred in her eyes drained as she turned.

"Richie…" Meredith said, noting that her son was standing beside the car, his hand in his brother's as they walked toward her. "Mommy said stay in the car, sweetheart…" She said as she approached the two boys.

Thatcher watched Meredith crouch before the two boys and talk to him, his eyes remained on them as Ellis remained standing, staring at him, watching his reaction to seeing the two little boys.

"Greyson said he has to go potty, Mama…" Richie said as he glanced over at the older man standing on the lawn, staring over at them. "Who is that?" He whispered.

"No one to worry about… now get into the car…" Meredith said as she opened the car door.

"But you were yelling at that man, Mommy… why were you yelling at him? He made you cry a little…" Richie said as he reached out to touch the tear on his mother's cheek.

"Sweetheart…" Meredith said as she sighed.

"I gotta pee, Mama.." Greyson whimpered as he wiggled as he stood there.

Meredith lifted Greyson into her arms and approached Ellis as Richie followed behind. "Mom… let's go…" She said, watching as Ellis continued to stare straight ahead, she glanced to Thatcher, who looked like he wanted to say something. "Tell him what you wanted to say, and let's go…" Meredith said softly as she took her mother's hand, feeling Richie grab hold of her shirt behind her as they moved closer to the stranger.

"Thatcher." Ellis said, swallowing hard.

"Ellis…" Thatcher said, his eyes settling on Ellis as she stand there, her mouth open slightly as she appeared to be trying to speak.

Her eyes were wide and filled with fear as she closed her eyes for a moment. "I just… I wanted… I needed to tell you that I… that I am…" She felt her hand being squeezed supportively by Meredith as she glanced to her daughter. Her eyes fell on Greyson, securely in his mother's arms, his Snuggle bear held tightly to him as he watched her. Her eyes then moved to Richard, his blue eyes sparkling in the sunlight as he curiously watched his grandmother. She could see Derek in those eyes, staring back at her, encouraging her, pushing her, and she looked up at Thatcher. "Thatcher… I just came to tell you… that I'm sorry." She said as she swallowed hard. "I had to tell you that I'm sorry… for everything. I'm sorry." She said again, watching as he nodded, his brow furrowing as he listened to her, unsure if that was all she wanted to say.

"Let's go, GG…" Richie said as he stepped out from behind his mother to grasp his grandmother's other hand. "Let's go get some ice cream…" He said as he looked up at the stranger as he and his grandmother battled with their eyes. "Let's go, GG…" He said again, softer. "I'll race you…"

"Okay, sweetheart…" Ellis said finally as she squeezed her grandson's hand. "Let's go…" She whispered. "Goodbye, Thatcher…" Ellis said softly as she broke eye contact with him, slowly releasing Meredith's hand, she started to turn toward the car. "Let's go get some ice cream…maybe with some extra sprinkles…how does that sound?" Ellis said as she started to walk toward the car with Richie as Meredith stood watching Thatcher very carefully as she held her son to her.

"Goodbye, Meredith." Thatcher whispered, his eyes passing from his daughter to his grandson.

"Goodbye, Thatcher." Meredith said as she turned around and followed Ellis and Richie to the car as the little boy watched him curiously over his mother's shoulder.

Meredith helped Greyson into the car, the silence was absolutely deafening as she buckled him in. "Are you all set?" Meredith whispered.

"All set…" Greyson whispered as he grasped his bear in his arms. "I love you, Mama." He whispered.

"Mama loves you…" She whispered back as she kissed his nose and poked it a little as she moved from the back and closed the door. She walked to the driver's side and climbed in, buckling her safety belt, she glanced over to Ellis as she continued to look straight out of the windshield. Meredith started the car and pulled out of the driveway, taking one more look at the man standing on the lawn, his eyes on the car as she drove down the road, silently in search of a bathroom. "Do you still have to go potty, Greyson?"

"No." He said, watching his mother raise her eyebrows at him. "No, I'm okay…"

"We're going to get ice cream… right, GG?" Richie asked. "GG…?" He said, trying to get Ellis to look at him.

Ellis' head was down, her hands on her lap. "Mom?" Meredith said, feeling her heart jump into her throat. "Mom… Richie is talking to you…" Meredith said, her voice falling on deaf ears as Ellis still hadn't looked up or moved.

"GG…?" Richie called. "Mama… is GG okay? Is she taking another nap now?"

Meredith whimpered as she slammed on her brakes, sliding to the side of the road she reached over and touched her mother's chin, pushing her head back, she almost became sick as she looked at the blood streaming down from her mother's nose. Her eyes were closed and she was still breathing as Meredith slammed her foot on the gas. "SHIT!" Meredith screamed.

"MOMMY!" The boys exclaimed in the back seat as she maneuvered through the streets quickly and carefully, trying desperately to find the hospital.

-Derek and Richard were standing over his desk, looking through a journal article as Mark rolled a marble from Richard's desk around on his hand, listening intently to the two surgeons as they rambled on about this procedure and that. They were suddenly interrupted by a chirping phone and Derek lifted his phone to his ear. "Shepherd." He said quickly into the line, his posture immediately straightening. "Meri." He said, the panic in his voice was evident as he listened intently to her, the screaming woman could be heard by the other two men in the room. "Where are you?" He asked. "Meri, you have to calm down. Where are the boys… are… are they…?" He said as he glanced to Richard. "She's lost… she's lost and she has her mother in the car… her mother….she's…bleeding from her nose…" Derek said as his face went pale. "Is she breathing, Mer? Is she breathing? Meredith… pull over and call and ambulance… Meredith… Meri… listen to me… Meredith!" Derek exclaimed.

Richard reached for the phone and Derek gave him a surprised look. "Meredith." He said, hearing the complete and utter panic in the woman's voice as she stopped yelling. "Meredith, this is Richard Webber… What road are you on? Can you see a sign?" He waited, glancing at Derek, who started to pace slightly, his body trembling as he muttered to himself and listened. "Good… alright… did you pass a convenience store… Meredith… Meredith, calm down… a convenience store… blue… yes… take a left… good… how are the boys, are they alright? Okay… go about a half mile… three lights… then take a right, and an immediate left… Meredith, you're doing alright… you're doing well.."

"He sounds like a hostage negotiator.." Mark said flippantly, immediately getting a glare from Derek as Richard approached the door, nodding to Derek as the two other men got up, and Richard continued to give Meredith calm directions into the phone, seemingly calming Meredith while he talked as the three of them rushed down the stairs to the emergency room and out the back door as Richard waved over a gurney and instructed them to move it outside for an incoming emergency.

"Alright, now you see the building… come in the back, right there… ambulance bay is right there, and there will be… see us? Do you see us? Meredith… Shit… she's not breathing…" Richard muttered as the car came careening around the corner and Meredith leapt from the car as she slammed it into park.

"She's not breathing! She's not breathing!" She screamed as the hospital staff moved swiftly to pull Ellis from the car, the two boys were crying in the back seat as Derek grabbed Meredith tightly in a hug. "Derek! She's not breathing!" She screamed as she felt herself melt into his arms as her mother was rushed into the hospital with Richard.

Mark ran around the car and pulled Derek and Meredith. "Go… go with her… I'll stay with the boys.. I'll pull the car around and take the boys…Go!" Mark exclaimed as finally, Derek grabbed Meredith's arm and began to pull her into the hospital as Mark stood there alone, staring at the doors of the emergency room, the sound of two terrified, screaming boys coming from within the car beside him.

Mark listened to the piercing screams of the two boys in the back seat as he drove the car around to the parking lot.

"MOMMY! MOMMY! DADDY! GG! GG! MOMMY!" Richie screamed as suddenly, his face was directly in Mark's ear.

"Richie! Get into your seat now!" Mark exclaimed.

"NO! DADDY! MOMMY!" He screamed as he grabbed hold of the door handle and pulled it, trying to open it. Mark was glad that the child lock was in place as he pulled into a parking space. He turned his head to the screaming boys as Richie crawled around the back seat trying desperately to find a way out and Greyson simply screamed and cried from his seat.

"Alright! Alright! Guys! Boys! UNCLE MARK IS GETTING ANGRY!" He said loudly and it was like he had turned a switch. Both boys stared at Mark, their mouths open wide, tears streaming down their faces as they paused. Mark knew that if he didn't say something quickly, then he would lose his opportunity and the boys would start crying about getting yelled at. "Alright…" Mark sighed. "No more screaming… please… no more screaming…" He sighed.

"But Uncle Mark… Where's mommy going… where's she going…" Richie whimpered. "Where'd they take GG? Uncle Mark… She's only taking a nap, right? She's only taking a nap like she was with Daddy, right? Right Uncle Mark? Right?" He whimpered as he rattled off a bunch of questions.

"I… GG… she…"

"Where is daddy? Daddy was here… he didn't say hi… Mommy was crying and daddy didn't come see us… why didn't daddy see us, why did those people take GG out of the car? Why? Uncle Mark… Why did they? Why did they? Uncle Mark… Uncle Mark…" He whimpered, tears streaming down his cheeks as he tried to understand.

"I want Mommy…" Greyson whimpered.

"I want Mommy too!" Richie exclaimed.

"Mommy, Uncle Mark." Greyson whimpered. "Where is Mommy?"

Mark sat in his seat, watching the tears roll down the boy's cheeks as they tried to understand what was going on. They looked so upset, so lost, so sad and Mark's heart was breaking for them. They looked so confused as they sat there, Greyson's hands reaching out for Mark as he pushed against the seatbelt. Richie was wiping his tears on his sleeve, his lip sticking out as he looked desperately at Mark. "I want Mommy…" He whimpered.

"You want Mommy?"

"Yes…" The boys whimpered.

"That's why you're crying… because you want mommy?"

"Yes…" They both whimpered.

"You want Mommy…?" Mark asked Richie.

"Yes."

"And why are you crying?" Mark asked Greyson.

"I don't know…" He whimpered. "Richie was crying… Mommy was crying…"

"So that is all that is wrong…?" Mark asked.

"We didn't get ice cream…" Richie whimpered.

"Ice cream? You want ice cream?"

"Yes." The boys whimpered.

"You want ice cream right now? Extra sprinkles?"

"Yes." The boys whimpered.

"Then let's get ice cream…"

"But Mommy…" Greyson said, glancing to the hospital.

"Mommy is… at work…" Mark said, glancing to the hospital. "You know… how she works at a hospital in Boston?"

"Yes." They nodded.

"Well… she's kind of at work here… She's working… and daddy is working, and GG is…"

"Taking a nap." Richie replied.

"Um… Yes…" Mark smiled softly. "What do you say we get some ice cream… and we can wait to hear from mommy and daddy… and then we'll… go see them, okay?"

"Okay…" Greyson nodded.

"But ice cream isn't going to take long." Richie sighed. "Mommy and daddy work a lot…"

"Then we'll find something to do… why don't we… go for a ride, okay?"

"We should tell Mommy… she might get worried." Richie replied.

"We'll call mommy in a little while… Now get into your seat and buckle up…" Mark said as he nodded toward Richie. Richie climbed into his car seat and buckled up, looking up at Mark as Mark smiled sadly. "And away we go…" he winked at Richie, who squeezed his eyes tightly in an attempt to wink.

"And awayyyy we go!" Richie and Greyson exclaimed loudly.

The gurney was rushed down the hallway before Derek and Meredith could even get into the building. They could hear Richard's booming voice down the hallway giving orders and the buzz of the hospital was apparent as Derek held her hand securely in his and led Meredith down the hallway. She had tears rolling down her cheeks and she was silent as the world around them appeared to be spinning out of control.

"It's going to be alright…" Derek chanted to himself over and over, trying to soothe Meredith, but at the same time trying to soothe himself while they pulled Ellis into a room as they worked on her..

They worked on getting her breathing going again as Derek pushed his back against the wall, making himself virtually invisible in the large hallway across from the room as doctors and nurses pushed around. Meredith moved into his chest and buried her face within it, his arms encircled her as they silently prayed together.

"It's going to be alright… it's going to be alright… it's going to be alright…" Derek whispered as he rubbed her back, his eyes on every movement of the doctors and nurses around Ellis in the room, he found himself holding his breath as they did everything that they could, hooking up monitors and machines as a nurse stepped forward and closed the door to the room, closing them off from the sounds and the sights of the woman on the table, but never once pulling their thoughts from her.

Derek continued to hold her tightly in the hallway, the memory of the sights and sounds of the last several minutes were plaguing them as they waited. They were doctors, they knew what was going on and they were fairly sure of the risks and struggles involved in an emergency situation. They also knew when it was time to step back, and Meredith was in no shape to be caring for anyone, attempting. Derek had the responsibility to his wife to make sure that she could still stand, that she could function, walk, talk. He needed to be with her, he needed to be at her side. Richard was with her mother, and the last thing that he needed were two panicking doctors ruining his rhythm and concentration.

The door finally opened and Richard stepped out. The look on his face was somber, not grim and Derek took that to be as good of a sign as he could. Meredith continued to bury her head in Derek's chest. "She…is breathing…" Richard nodded. "She's still out… and we don't think that it burst… yet… or she'd obviously already be gone… but this isn't looking good, we need to make a decision."

"A decision…Richard… how can we… I mean… neither of us have…"

"Do you want to save her, Derek?"

"Yes." He said directly, his wife's sobs were becoming louder as she squeezed him, his hand running gentle circles around her back.

"Then we need to get her into surgery, now. I've already started to gather the surgical team… but I need a right hand man."

"Richard…"

"Derek, you know more about this procedure than any other surgeon that I've met. You're bright, you're an ace according to Ellis… and I've checked your record. You're the best."

"Richard, I can't do… she's my… she's my mother… Richard…"

"You won't be doing anything you're not comfortable with. You're there for support and expertise… She is going to die unless she has this surgery… she wanted you to do it… You're going to be there… There's no other way around it. She's unconscious… that's consent enough… and you're the best surgeon that I've got on hand." Richard said, watching Derek think about it. He looked down at the trembling woman that was attached to him, her head buried in his chest as she sobbed. "Why don't you talk to Meredith." He whispered, watching how broken she was. "We're going to get her prepped… and make sure she's stable enough for the surgery. Let me know your decision as soon as possible." Richard said as he turned to walk back into the room, his face showing a deep concern that Derek was very grateful to see.

Derek stood in the hall holding his wife as she cried, her tears soaking into his shirt as they stood there. "Meri…" He whispered. "Meri, look at me, sweetheart…"

"Derek." She whimpered, her eyes showing such fear and sadness that he could feel a pain in his chest. "Derek…" She whimpered again.

"Listen…" He said as he crouched down slightly, pressing his forehead against hers. "Tell me to do it… and I'll do it, Meri… for you… for Ellis… for the boys… for Mark's little one in there…" He said with a sad smile, watching her eyes look up at his with just a hint of a sparkle left. "For me…Meri." He whispered. "I need to do this… she doesn't deserve to die…"

"But I don't want you to… what if…Derek, you can't…"

"Meri…" He whispered as he shook his head. "I'm going to go through a hell of a lot more if I never try." He said, watching her eyes carefully. He could see her stream of consciousness, the fear and reluctant gaze that was in her eyes. "Meri. Do you trust me?" He whispered.

"Yes." She said immediately, grabbing his hand.

"You know that I always do my best… and that I'd never, ever do anything to hurt you… you know that, right?" He whispered, watching her nod. "I want to hear you say it." He whispered.

"I trust you… and I know you love her, Derek. You'll do what it takes… you'll give it your everything. I'm not going to tell you to save her… that would be selfish… but I'm going to tell you that you mean the world to me, Derek. She loves you… I love you… your boys love you…and just…"

"I love you." He whispered as he kissed her lips softly, breathing in her scent as he ran his thumb across her cheek. "What are you going to do?"

"I'll find somewhere to sit… wait… I need to find out what Mark did with my children…" She said with a half smile, her eyes betraying it with the sadness in them.

"I will find you the second I know something… I'll find someone to do it for me, if I need to…"

"How are they going to know who I am, Derek?" She asked as he took a step towards the door.

"I'll tell them to follow the beautiful light that follows you around…" He said with a wink.

"Oh… Charming… don't mention lights to my mother, please." She whispered. "Tell her that I love her… even if she can't hear you say it… I want her to know…"

"Oh, I think she knows…" Derek smiled softly as he stepped into the room. "I love you."

"I love you." She whispered as he stepped into the room, leaving her alone in the hallway as a wave of loneliness washed over her.

Ellis' preparation was long and time consuming. The blood tests and monitoring that had to be done before the surgery was cleared were stressful on Derek as he held her hand and watched her carefully. He only left the room once to change into a pair of visitor scrubs and walked back into the room immediately. She remained unconscious the entire time, the MRI scans had concluded that it was time, and any longer could cause extensive brain damage or rupture.

"I need this surgery to remain low key." Derek said to Richard as they began a slow walk towards the elevator with the gurney.

"Already done, Doctor Shepherd. The surgeons on the case are only ones that I have been working with for years and I have complete faith in my staff. I would never put Ellis in danger, and I understand the implications that this has on her responsibilities as chief of surgery in Boston." Richard replied.

"Thank you." Derek nodded as they pulled the gurney into the elevator and rode in silence as Derek internally prayed. He was trying his best to relax, and was finding it very difficult, his hands trembling as he held the railing of the bed. As they began to pull her down the hallway toward the operating room, Derek felt her hand moving. "Doctor Webber, she's waking up."

"Good…" Richard sighed as they pulled the gurney into the room leading to the operating room and Richard moved towards the side of the bed. "I can yell at her for waiting so long…" He sighed, hearing Derek's low, nervous chuckle. They rolled the gurney into the room adjoining the operating room as they glanced through the windows into the operating room. "Ellis?" Richard said as he walked around the bed and took her hand. "Ellis?" He whispered, watching as Derek looked down at her nervously. He turned to the nurse and told her tell the anesthesiologist the change in her condition. He put the penlight to her eye and checked her carefully as she raised her hand and pushed it away.

"No…" She mumbled as she moved her head from side to side. "No…" Her eyes were half open, but they were directed toward Richard. "Meri…" She whispered her voice was soft and barely audible. "Meri…"

"Meri is alright…" Derek said, his voice sent her head turning to his direction.

"Derek…Meri…" She mumbled. She was disoriented and confused, her words were soft and foreign, her brow furrowed as she let go of Richard's hand and reached for Derek's.

Derek looked up at Richard and Richard nodded. "She was sedated for the tests… she's going to be out of sorts… you probably won't understand anything she says…" He said softly.

"But do we still have consent?"

"She told you to do it, Derek… that's consent."

"But I…"

"She needs to know that you're going to be there." Richard whispered. "I'm going to scrub in… talk to her… the anesthesiologist will be in shortly…" Richard said softly. He looked down at Ellis and watched the confused glance move to him. "We're going to take good care of you, Ellis." He whispered, squeezing her hand in his as he watched her. "Derek is here... I am here… and we're not going to let anything happen to you." He whispered as he leaned down and kissed her forehead gently. "We're going to take very good care of you." He whispered as he squeezed her hand again and quietly left the room.

"Derek…" Ellis turned her head, her brow was furrowed and she held such a look of fear in her eyes. Derek had seen her scared only one other time, the day that Meredith had collapsed at her medical school graduation. "Derek…" Her voice whispered again.

"I'm here…" He said softly as he gripped her hand in his. "I'm right here…" He said again. "It's time…"

"Time…" She whispered. "I… Derek…you… no…I can't… Derek…" She mumbled as she shook her head. "Derek…I can't…"

"You can't ask me to do this…" He said gently as he watched her shake her head.

"Please…" She whimpered.

"Ellis… I know why you asked me… I know you told me that… you wanted me to perform the surgery because you knew that I couldn't risk that… you knew I'd say no. You play the game… you know the score… and you're not stupid…" he shook his head. "I've always played the game, Ellis… from the first moment I walked into that hospital…and you called me a pretty boy that wouldn't last the year… I've played the game, and I've sat on the bench… and I've competed and fought… and studied the game… I know the game Ellis… I know you. I know that you…"

"No…" Ellis said, shaking her head, her eyes clearing slightly. "Derek, no." Her hand gripped his tightly, very tightly as his attention went to her eyes as she tugged him. He moved closer to her. "Derek…" She whispered as she finally released his hand, only to grab hold of his scrub top, pulling him hard down toward her, bringing him face to face with her.

"Ellis." He whispered.

"Did you ever… stop to think… that the reason I want you to do this… is because you're the best there is?" She whispered slowly.

"Never." He replied strongly.

"Good." She whispered. "I… don't want some cocky… surgeon tinkering with my brain…" She whispered, her voice was stronger and her eyes were still cloudy, but she was still as sharp as ever.

"I don't know what I'd do without you, Ellis… and I'm not going to find out for a very long time." Derek replied.

"Tell Meri… I love her… tell the boys… GG loves them…"

"This had better not be a goodbye, Ellis…"

"I…"

"Ellis…" He whispered, watching as a tear rolled down her cheek.

"I'm scared…" She whimpered.

"I know…" Derek said softly as he touched her forehead. "I know you're scared."

"I'm so scared…" She whimpered. "I am so scared, Derek…"

"I know…" He whispered. "We're all here… we're all here for you…"

"Meri…" She whispered. "Meri… she…you… you made her love me, Derek… thank you… thank you for…"

"She always loved you, Ellis…" He whispered. "She always loved you… she was just a stubborn young woman… and she's still stubborn… and she always loved you…"

"It was you, Derek…" She whispered.

"I was only there to show her that there were different kinds of love…" Derek whispered. "You were the one that made her who she is… she loves you on her own… it is her decision… not mine."

"Thank you… for taking care of her…" She whispered, releasing him from her grip.

"I wouldn't have it any other way…" He whispered. "Ellis… you're going to pull through… you're going to pull through, and you're going to outlast us all… when you go to sleep for your surgery… you'll have nothing but sweet dreams… of grandchildren and surgery… and all of the things that you love… and when you wake up… we'll all be here… and I promise… when you're well enough… Richie and I are going to take you to Disneyworld…"

"Disneyworld?" She whispered.

"I kind of think we owe it to Richie to show him that Florida isn't all bad…" He said with a chuckle as Ellis laughed slightly, nodding her head softly.

"Derek…" Ellis whispered. "Tell Meri… tell her… chocolate chip… tell her I knew… that I always knew…"

"Chocolate chip?"

"She'll know what I mean…ice cream...Derek... chocolate chip..." Ellis whispered, her forehead wrinkling as she seemed to become more confused. The door opened and a tall man walked in, announcing that he was the anesthesiologist. Derek nodded and introduced himself, asking a few questions as Ellis drifted in and out on the bed, the concern in Derek's voice was so evident.

He turned his head to Ellis, watching her lie there so helpless and scared and he smiled softly. "I'll be here when you wake up." He whispered. "Whether you like it or not…I'm going to go scrub in…" He said softly.

"Derek…" Ellis said, reaching for his hand, he offered his immediately as he raised his eyebrows. "I…love you." She whispered, watching the sweet tender smile on his lips as he shook his head.

He leaned down and kissed her forehead softly as he smiled into her eyes. "I love you, Ellis…" He said with a soft smirk. "And I promise… when you wake up… this conversation never happened…" Derek winked.

"I'm glad that we have an understanding." She said softly as she listened to Derek's chuckle as he shook his head and left the room to scrub in on the biggest surgery of his career and life.

Meredith sat alone in a small waiting room as she watched doctors and nurses pass by the window. She could feel her stomach growling, but she was afraid to move, afraid to breathe. She listened to the sounds of the hospital, letting those sounds and smells envelop her in a cloud of familiarity and deliver her from her pain and worry. She closed her eyes and the first thing she saw was his eyes. She shook her head and opened them again, laughing to herself that he even invaded her peaceful thoughts. "Derek…" She sighed, her stomach growling again as she whimpered his name, trying to imagine him doing something other than surgery on her mother, trying to imagine him laughing or talking or eating or… not eating… she couldn't think of eating…She closed her eyes again, trying to focus on something else. A hamburger perhaps, cheeseburger… extra pickles and mustard… lots of mustard… spicy mustard… She swallowed hard and could swear that she could smell it, practically taste it. She breathed in deeply and her eyes opened as she heard something right in front of her.

"Oh!" She exclaimed when she realized someone was standing in front of her.

"Scare you?" Mark asked as he stood in front of her holding two sleeping boys and a bag from a fast food place.

"Mark!" She said as she tilted her head.

"I brought you a cheeseburger…" He said softly as he sat down beside her, repositioning the boys in his arms as he handed Greyson to Meredith, who shifted in his sleepy position and smacked his lips as he continued to hold his bear tightly.

"What did you do to them?" Meredith asked as she looked up at Mark as he cradled Richie in his lap and set the bag between them.

"We went for a walk… found a park… played for a while… had some ice cream…" He said, noting the chocolate on the faces of the boys, and a swipe of chocolate on Mark's nose and cheek.

Meredith licked her finger and wiped the chocolate from Mark's face. "Ew, Meredith…" he said, rubbing his cheek on his shoulder as he gave her a disgusted look.

"What? You had chocolate on your nose… was I supposed to just let it sit there? I am carrying your child… the least you can do is deal with a little bit of my spit on your face." She said as she winked at him, watching him smile softly as he reached into the bag and pulled out a cheeseburger. He moved his hand and was able to half unwrap it for Meredith as he handed it over to her. She took it carefully and nodded in thanks as she took a bite. "Thank you…" She whispered as she chewed slowly, tasting the spicy mustard and pickles on her tongue, it made her want to eat it quicker.

"I knew you wouldn't get yourself something to eat…" He whispered as he unwrapped a cheeseburger from the bag with one hand and started to eat it.

"I can't leave." She sighed. "What if… something happened?" She asked.

"Then you would be somewhere else in the hospital and not sitting here… there's no difference." He said as he took a bite, watching her eyes on his. "Geography doesn't matter in this case, Meri… if you're in the hospital, you'll find out about it… you have to take care of yourself."

"I…I'm just… I'm not used to being… the one waiting, you know? I am never the one in the waiting room, Mark…"

"I know…" He said as he finished his cheeseburger and tossed the paper in the bag. "Me neither…"

"It feels weird…" She said softly, sighing as she finished her cheeseburger and tossed the wrapper into the bag. "It feels really weird…" She whispered as she watched her son sleep. She held her head down, but Mark knew that tears were making their way down her cheeks.

"Meri…" Mark whispered as he moved the bag to the other side of himself and moved over slightly, wrapping his free arm around her. "Oh, Meri… don't cry…" He whispered as she put her head on his shoulder and began to cry a little more.

"I don't want to wait…" She whimpered. "I want Derek… I need Derek in here… I can't do this, Mark… I can't do this… She's my mommy… and I didn't even get to say goodbye…"

"You don't have to say goodbye… she's not going anywhere… she's not going anywhere, Meri…She's a strong woman… she can make it…and besides… Derek knows what to do…he always knows what to do…"

"What did we do? What did we do? What did we do?" Derek exclaimed as the doctors worked frantically around Ellis as the monitors began to go off. "Richard! She's crashing!" Derek exclaimed, his face gone pale as Richard and Derek looked to the monitors.

-The day was wearing long, and their arms were becoming tired with the small burdens of weight that they had been holding for hours in their arms. "Meri…why don't we take them to an on call room… that way you can get some sleep." Mark whispered to the woman whose shoulder had been beneath his arm and whose child had been cradled in his other.

"I don't want to move." She whispered.

"Come on, Meri… it's good to move… let's go find somewhere to lay them down." Mark said as he shifted, kissing the top of her head as he stood, Richie moved around in his arms and opened his eyes.

"Mama…" He mumbled as he wiped his eye.

"Mama is right here, baby…" Meredith whispered as she stood, looking down at her little boy as he smiled a soft smile as she pushed Greyson to lay his head on her shoulder as he remained asleep..

"Uncle Mark lost…"

"Uncle Mark lost?" Meredith asked as she looked up at Mark, who smiled as he swung the little boy down to his feet as he stretched and looked up at his mother.

"He raced us at the park… we ran real fast and he couldn't catch up with us…" Richie yawned.

"Well, he must have worn you out… because you were sleeping for a long time…" She said as she looked at the little boy's red cheeks as she looked down at Greyson as he continued to cuddle her.

"I missed you, Mommy…" He said as he hugged her leg tightly, laying his head against her softly as she ran her fingers through his hair. "Where is daddy? Where is GG?" He asked, looking around. "Are you done working?"

"Working?" Meredith asked as he looked to Mark who nodded. "Oh… oh, yes… I'm done working… we're just waiting for daddy…"

"Is he still working?"

"Yep… he's still working…"

"And GG?"

"She's… still working too… why don't we go find a quiet place to sit down…and…I…" Meredith said, looking up at Mark.

"I brought coloring books!" Mark said with a smirk as he pointed toward the other bag that he had carried into the room.

"And you're very excited…" Meredith teased, a slight giggle in her voice as Greyson lifted his head from his mother's shoulder.

"Mama…" He whispered softly, leaning back slightly to look at her, he smiled sleepily.

"Hey there, sleepy head."

"Uncle Mark lost…" He smiled, giving Mark a sly grin.

"And just keep on rubbing it in…" Mark said with a laugh as Meredith shook her head and took Mark's hand as he took Richie's and Richie grabbed the bag with the toys and coloring books.

"Don't worry, Mark… the baby still loves you…" She said with a smirk as Mark shook his head and laughed as the four of them went in search of a quiet on call room.

"You don't love me?" Mark asked as he nudged her as they walked down the hallway.

"What's not to love?" She asked sleepily as he wrapped his arm around her shoulder and listened to her giggle as they walked down the hallway together.

Derek stood in the scrub room as he had been for nearly an hour. His eyes remained on the now empty bed, as they had for nearly an hour. His hands were covered in the blood of his mentor, as they had been for nearly an hour. His face was damp with silent tears as he remained weak enough to allow them to be shed. The operating room was now empty, the surgeons and nurses and doctors that had filled the room had long since left, and he was left to replay every moment of the day over and over again in his mind.

"I'm going to have to face her." Derek whispered to himself, knowing that he was alone in the room, and talking seemed to fill some void. "I have to face her…" He whispered. "How am I going to tell her?" He whispered. "How do I phrase it… how do I hold my head? My eyes?" How do I touch her? How do I hold her? How do I tell her that…"

"Derek." Mark's voice interrupted his thoughts and sent him turning quickly.

"Mark." Derek said, his face was pale, his eyes were hollow, his hands trembling, still wearing the latex gloves, his surgical gown was still covered in blood, as a tear rolled slowly down his cheek once again as the two friends remained locked in a desperate stare of emotions without words.

Mark and Derek held their gaze for a few moments, their eyes were both filled with a deep fear that neither could define. Finally, Mark stepped forward toward Derek, watching as the look on his friend's face became even more lost than moments before. "Derek…here…" he said as he held his hand out to his friend. "Here, let me… let me help…" He said as he walked to Derek and stepped beside him, tugging on the surgical gown, releasing the ties. "Here, man… let's get you the hell out of here…" He said as he pulled the surgical gown down his friend's arms, crumpling it as he reached Derek's hands, he gently pulled the gloves, inside out and off his hands, facing Derek as he stood before him, his hands still outstretched.

Mark crumpled the gown and tossed it into the trash can, turning back to Derek, he watched as his friend's eyes fell to his hands. "Here…" Mark said as he stepped forward and pushed on Derek's arm, moving him toward the scrub sink, he turned the water on and pushed his friend's hands beneath the flow of water. Derek watched as the water ran off his hands, his fingers not moving, his eyes staring at his fingers as he pushed his hands together. "Meredith has eaten… lunch… she had lunch." Mark stammered as he watched Derek's eyes dart to him as he suddenly started to scrub his hands. "She is sleeping right now… in an on call room with the boys…she has the boys with her." Mark nodded.

"Meredith is alright…?" He whispered.

"She's doing alright… she's pretty broken up about it… and she's waiting for you."

"I… I can't…" Derek shook his head.

"Yes you can…" Mark said with a half smirk. "Don't give me the bullshit… you need her just as much as she needs you…"

"Where did you take the boys?" Derek asked, looking up at Mark.

"Park… ice cream… ferry… anywhere that I could to wear them out as totally and completely as I could." Mark replied.

"You'd make a good father…" Derek nodded. "But you make an even better friend." Derek said with a sigh, swallowing hard.

"Hey… I'm here for the support… you know? I'm like a bra… keep things all perky and lifted… and…"

"And you're always rubbing against someone's boobs…" Derek chuckled as he felt all of the tension and anxiety slowly releasing from his body. The tension in his stance was draining and he could feel his body trembling. "Mark…" He said, his voice cracking slightly as he took a deep breath. "How do I tell her?"

"You walk in there… and you just look into her eyes… she'll know immediately… then you hug her… and you hold her… and if you're lucky… she won't puke on you." Mark joked.

"Always with the jokes… have you ever been serious a day in your life?"

"I tried once… but I could only sleep until one in the afternoon that day." Mark said with a sigh.

"Where is she?" Derek asked as he dried his hands and stepped closer to the door, placing his hand on it as he looked to the floor.

"Next floor up… on call room… close to the nurse's station." Mark nodded. "I was going to go grab something to eat… do you need something?"

"Please." Derek sighed as they stepped out of the scrub room.

"I'll give you guys some time…" He said softly with a smile.

"Thanks…" Derek said as he started to walk down the hallway. "Mark…?" He said as he turned around, watching Mark raise his eyebrows at his friend. "How did you know that she…"

"Because if she had… you wouldn't have been in the scrub room… you would have been upstairs already…" Mark nodded as Derek waved to him. "I'll see you later."

"Later…" Derek sighed turning himself toward the elevator as he made his way to his wife's side.

Derek walked down the hallway toward the on call room. He thought for a moment about the similarities of hospitals and how though he was thousands of miles from the hospital that he knew so well, there was something familiar, inviting and comfortable about this place.

He stopped in front of the on call room for a moment, collecting himself as best as he could, knowing that his family was on the other side of the door, and that no matter what the issues or tragedy, their love would pull them through. He took a deep breath and stepped into the room and immediately, two little dark haired heads lifted. Their faces lit up the room as they bounced from the bed. Derek held his finger to his lips, hushing them before they shouted as he spied his sleeping wife on the bed nearby.

"Hey, guys…" he whispered as he lifted them up, receiving a kiss from each of them as they hugged him tightly.

"We missed you, daddy…" Richie said with a smile as he hugged Derek hard.

"Daddy missed you…" He said softly.

"Did you miss me, Daddy?" Greyson whispered, following his brother's example.

"Yes, of course I missed you, silly dilly… what are you two up to?"

"We're coloring… Uncle Mark got us some Spiderman color books…" Richie said with a smile as he wiggled a little as Derek helped him down. "I'll color you a picture, Daddy…"

"I want to color daddy a picture…" Greyson wiggled as Derek let him to the floor and the boys climbed onto the bed.

"Why don't both of you color some pictures for mommy and daddy…"

"And GG!" Richie said out loud, and widened his eyes as he covered it quickly. "I mean for GG too…" he whispered as he giggled, going back to coloring as Derek smiled and shook his head. He kicked his shoes off and stepped close to the bed.

He looked down at his sleeping wife, her brow furrowed in her sleep, her leg occasionally twitching as she slept fitfully. He crouched down and lay his fingertips on her cheek, instantly watching the wrinkle in her brow disappear as she slowly opened her eyes. "Derek…" She whispered, lifting her head a little, she watched as he tilted his head to match her gaze. "Derek… you…"

"Meri…I need to talk to you…" He said as he swallowed hard, nodding his head softly as she asked the same question a million times and he returned the answer with a simple nod of his head.

"Oh…" She whimpered, her eyes darting to the boys on the bed as they looked up at her cry. "Derek…" She managed to utter as she reached out and grabbed him, pulling him into her as she crashed her lips onto his, running her fingers through his hair as he groaned and pushed his lips from hers after a moment as she stared into his eyes. "Say it…" She whispered.

"She…just has to wake up…" he whispered, watching as the sparkle in her eyes shined once again, if only for a moment, it was there.

"You're my hero…" She whispered, her eyes flashing to the boys as they watched their parents. "Boys… your daddy is my hero…" She said as she felt tears coming to her eyes and watched the tears coming down his cheeks. "You're crying…" She whispered.

"Heroes are not immune to tears, little miss Meri…" He said with a wipe of his face with his arm.

"I love you…" She whimpered.

"I love you…" He replied. "I love you… so much… and I don't ever, ever, ever want to imagine spending one more moment away from you… life is too precious… it's too goddamned precious…" He exclaimed as he grabbed her into a hug and rolled himself onto the bed, keeping her in his arms as he began to cry softly into her, as she held him securely in her arms.

Meredith held her sobbing husband for several minutes before they felt the pushing and prodding of four little hands and feet climbing onto them. "Daddy, are you crying?" Richie asked as he rolled over his mother's side and pushed on his father's arm. "Daddy?"

"Don't cry, Daddy…" Greyson whispered as he climbed up to the top of the bed and leaned down, kissing his father's cheek as he ran his tiny fingers through his father's hair. "Don't cry…" he whimpered as he felt the urge to cry. "Daddy…"

Derek looked up at his little boy, watching the tears roll down his cheeks, he felt horrible for being the cause of it. He reached up and touched his little boy's hand. "Oh… don't you cry too…" He whispered.

"Don't cry anymore, Daddy… why are you so sad?" Richie asked as he noticed his mother was crying too. "Mama?" Why is everyone crying?" He whispered. "I'm not crying… why are you all crying?" He asked, totally confused as to the feeling of the room, the sadness and tears rolling down everyone's face. "Listen… listen guys…" Richie said as he climbed down from the bed. "Listen guys, Listen… guys… guys?" Richie said, his voice was nearly panicking as he stood beside the bed. "No more crying!" He exclaimed emphatically as he waved his arms around in the air. "No more crying! No more crying!" He exclaimed "This is craziness!" He exclaimed as he flopped backwards onto the bed behind him.

Derek couldn't help but chuckle between his tears at his son's dramatic attempt to cease the sad and depressing mood that was filling the room. He looked up at the little boy, lying on his back on the other bed as he stared at the ceiling. "Richard…" Derek coughed a little, watching his son's head lift to look at him. "Come over here…" He waved him over as Meredith wiped her tears on her arm and cleared her throat as she rolled over a bit and lifted her arm up as her little boy approached. He draped both of his arms over his mother and looked into his father's eyes.

"Are you going to explain all of this?" He asked with an exaggerated five year old sigh.

"Climb over…" Derek said, nodding his head to his son as he moved over a little, allowing the little boy to nestle into the spot between his parents, their younger son sat perched above them, sitting cross legged on the pillow as Richie looked up at his parents and brother. "What the heck is going on?" He sighed.

Derek took a deep breath and released it slowly. He looked to Meredith, who was watching him carefully, waiting for his explanation and at the same time, waiting to see if he needed help with his explanation to them. "Do you boys know what daddy does for his job?"

"You color?" Greyson asked.

"He doesn't color, dummy…" Richie sighed.

"Don't call your brother a dummy…" Meredith interjected

"Sorry." Richie sighed. "You work at the hospital…" Richie replied.

"Do you know who comes to the hospital?"

"Sick people…" Richie replied.

"Yes… you're right… sick people…"

"People with boo boos…" Greyson replied.

"Yep…" Derek said with a nod.

"Babies… that's where Grey came from… he came from the hospital…"

"Yes… babies come from the hospital too…" Derek explained. "Well… daddy works with people… who are sick inside their brain… inside their head…" He said, touching his head and watching as the two boys did the same. He smiled a little at Meredith as she lifted her hand to run her fingers through Greyson's hair as she watched his eyes. "And… today… GG… GG had a boo boo inside her head…"

"What?" Richie exclaimed, sitting up. "GG did not!"

"Let me explain, let me explain…" Derek said calmly as he tugged on his son's hand as he lay back down. "GG had a boo boo in her head… and daddy had to try to make her feel better… that's why mommy was upset earlier…" Derek said softly. "She knew GG had a boo boo, and that's why she got her to the hospital as fast as she could."

"She was driving like a MANIAC!" Richie exclaimed.

"Mommy's a pretty good driver… as long as there are no snow banks or deer in her way to slow her down…" Derek laughed as Meredith opened her mouth in faux shock. He chuckled and watched his son's eyes. "So… GG came to the hospital… and daddy and another doctor helped to make her better…"

"Where is she now?" Greyson whimpered, feeling the gravity of the situation as he watched the sad look on his father and mother's face.

"Well… right now she's sleeping… she had a very long day… and now we have to just wait for her to wake up from her naptime…" Derek explained. "If everything worked out alright… you'll be allowed to visit her in a day or two…" Derek said softly.

"A day or two?" Greyson asked.

"That's forever!" Richie exclaimed. "What if everything didn't work out alright, Daddy?" Richie asked, looking up into his father's eyes as he scratched his nose.

Derek's eyes flashed to Meredith's and they passed a look of fear and worry as Meredith put her hand on her son's cheek for a moment, leaned down and kissed it. "Baby…" Meredith whispered as she watched Richie turn his head quickly. For a moment, Derek thought that maybe, just maybe, Meredith was going to explain to him the truth, the delicate nature of the situation, the scary and frightening implications of the answer to the little boy's question, and then she whispered the words that he knew that she was trying so hard to believe. "Whatever happens… good or bad… mommy loves you… mommy loves Greyson… and daddy… and mommy loves GG… and we just have to stick together and try to make the most of everything that we have…" She said as she kissed his cheek again. "You're a very lucky boy, Richard…"

"Am I lucky?" Greyson asked, his eyebrows raised as he watched his mother's eyes raise up to his.

"You're lucky too!" Derek said as he reached up and tickled his son as he giggled and laughed and flopped between his parents, beside his brother as the four of them snuggled on the tiny bed and became lost in their thoughts.

The family lay together peacefully for a while, holding one another as they rested. The boys fell asleep between their parents, the long day had taken its toll on them, and Derek's mind never left the operating room and his eyes wandered around the room. "You're worried." Meredith whispered. "What happened in there?" She asked.

"She's alive." Derek said softly as he glanced to her, though his eyes moved away quickly. "She is still alive…" Derek sighed.

"She's alive…" Meredith whispered. "What does that mean?" Meredith asked, her eyes accusing as her brow furrowed. "Derek…"

"It means she's not dead… she survived the surgery…" Derek said quickly, his eyes still not meeting hers.

"Derek, what happened?"

"Nothing… happened… it's fine, everything is going to be fine…"

"Derek, don't make me go ask Richard. Don't make me research it… because I will…I will, Derek… Derek, look at me…" She said as she put her hand on his cheek and pushed his face toward her, only to have him close his eyes. "That's it…" She said as she started to roll off the bed, only to be grabbed by her husband. "Let go of me…" She growled angrily, her eyes were filling with tears as she pulled her arm.

"Meri, sit down… please sit down…"

"No!" She exclaimed, her emotions getting the best of her as she wrenched her arm away from him and stared at him angrily. "Derek… tell me the truth…" She said angrily, watching as the boys slept soundly against their father as he looked up at her desperately.

"Meredith… please… please sit down, you're going to wake the boys…"

"I don't want to sit down, Derek… I've sat down enough… I want the truth… I want answers… I want to know what happened to my mother…" She growled in a whisper as she stayed out of his reach.

"She crashed…" Derek whispered. "She… she crashed twice…"

"Twice? Derek!" Meredith exclaimed. "She probably has brain damage!" Meredith exclaimed as she covered her mouth with her hand.

"Meri, this is why I didn't want to tell you… you're panicking…"

"I am not panicking… I am not… panicking… I am not panicking…" She panicked.

"Meri… sit down…please… There is no use freaking out about this… she's alive." He said, watching her pace the room, marching back and forth. "We just have to wait…" Derek said, trying his best to calm himself as much as he was trying to calm her down.

"Wait… wait… that's all I do is wait… I'm tired of waiting… I'm tired of waiting, I just… I…I need to get some air…" She hiccupped as she turned and left the on call room quickly, deaf to the calls of her husband who was helpless to chase after her.

She walked quickly out of the on call room and nearly ran head on into someone in her panic. When her eyes focused on his face, and she realized her arm was in his hand, her eyes widened in surprise. "Meredith?" He whispered.

Meredith stood there for a moment, her face was flushed from her one sided argument with Derek. Her mouth hung open for a moment as she looked into the eyes of the man who still held her arm. "I…I…"

"Meredith… are you alright?"

"I…I have to… I need…"

"Meredith… what are you doing here?" He asked as suddenly she pulled her arm from his grasp, turned in a circle and swung open the on call room door, slipping back inside, she closed the door on his face.

"Meri?" Derek asked as he sat up, watching the shocked look on her face as she tried to breath long, deep breaths. "Meri, are you alright?" Derek asked as he leapt from the bed and approached her quickly, taking her face in his hands as he brought her eyes to look into his. She looked terrified, the crystal blue-green of her eyes held no sparkle, her mouth was moving open and closed as she stared blankly at him. "Meri, talk to me… what happened? What… what's wrong?"

"My father is out there…" She whispered, her eyes lifting to his as she allowed a tear to escape her eye.

"Your father is out there? Did he see you? Did he recognize you? Meri… are you alright?"

"Derek… I… Derek…" She whispered as she shook her head.

"Come over here…" Derek said softly as he wrapped his arm around her shoulder. "Come over here…" He whispered, leading her to one of the beds. She walked willingly and sat down beside him, looking over to the bed across from her as they heard a knock on the door.

"Don't let him in." Meredith whispered.

"I won't…" He whispered as he moved quickly toward the door, clicking the lock on the door, someone knocked again. "I'm expecting Mark to come by soon… and Richard will probably check in…" Derek said softly. "Are you alright? I mean… did he recognize you or something?"

"He… I… I saw him this morning…" Meredith whispered. "Why is he here? I mean… he didn't know about the… maybe he… I don't know… Derek…"

"You saw him this morning?" Derek asked.

"My mother… she… she went to his house this morning. I followed her to his house, she took a cab… and I followed her there… and he… he was so mean…" Meredith whimpered, looking at Derek as she shook her head. "He was so mean to her… he was so mean…" She repeated.

"And you talked to him?"

"I had to… I had to, Derek… he was just so mean to her… she didn't deserve that. She didn't deserve to be talked to that way. I love her… I love her so much, and she can't die, Derek… she can't. I need to tell her how much she means to me… she can't die, Derek… she can't die!" Meredith exclaimed as she grabbed him tightly, wrapping her arms around him as he wrapped his around her. "I don't want her to die, Derek!" She cried.

"I know, baby…" Derek said as he held her. "I know… I know…" He rocked her as he kissed her softly, holding her so tightly in her arms. "It's okay… it's okay, baby… it's going to be okay… Meri… Meri, you can't run away from me…" Derek whispered as he pulled from the hug and looked her in the eyes. "You can't run away from me, baby… you need to talk to me… you need to talk to me… please don't run away from me… please don't leave me alone. I need you, Meri… this was so hard for me, so very hard… I need your support. I need you to tell me that I did well. I need you to tell me that she's going to be alright because when I was in that operating room, all I could think about was how I couldn't disappoint you… how I couldn't disappoint her… Meri, I need you…"

"I'm sorry…" She whispered as she rocked him, burying her head in his shoulder as he rocked her, holding her, loving her, kissing her.

After a few moments, there was a rhythmic knock on the door and Derek looked up. "That's probably Mark…" Derek whispered.

"Can… can you check?" Meredith whimpered, sniffling.

"I can do that…" Derek said softly as he moved toward the door as he watched Meredith lay down on the bed, he walked to the door and unlatched it, opening it slowly, he recognized his friend's eyes. "Hey, man…" Derek said as he opened the door to let Mark inside. He glanced back quickly and gave a strange look as he walked inside, the door closing behind him as Derek locked it once again.

"Hey… what's going on?" Mark asked as he handed Derek a bag of food.

"Was there someone out there?" Derek asked. "An older guy?"

"Yeah… he looked like he was waiting for the door to open or something. His wife kept tugging on his arm, I guess she cut her finger open making dinner… needed stitches or something… poor old guy looks so confused…" Mark said as he sat down in one of the chairs in the room. "Meri…" Mark said, watching as Meredith looked over at him. "Is she alright?" Mark asked, watching Derek watch his wife with a concerned look.

"She… she's as well as can be expected…" Derek said softly as he sat down, placing his hand in her hair, running his fingers through her hair as he sighed, the lump in his throat and the pain in his heart overwhelming.

-Meredith lay in the bed, staring off into space as Derek sat beside her. He had eaten his dinner and Mark sit resting on the chair across from them as the boys started shifting on the bed. "Daddy?" Greyson mumbled as he sat up slowly, his bear tucked in his arms as he looked up at his father sitting on the other bed, his head leaning against the wall.

"Hey, buddy…"

"What time is it?" Mark asked as he looked over to Derek, who looked at his watch.

"Nine…" He said with a sigh.

"They're going to be up all night…" Mark nodded toward the little boy as he sat up.

"We're all going to be up all night…" Derek replied with a sigh as Greyson climbed from the bed to his father, who lifted him up into his lap.

"Do you want me to take them to the house?" Mark asked, raising his eyebrows as he nodded toward the boys.

"No… no, it's okay… we didn't bring you to be the babysitter…" Derek said with a polite smile.

"I'm not the babysitter… I'm Uncle Mark… and I'm sure they'd rather sleep in a real bed and not one of these nasty cots." Mark nodded toward Richie as his head popped up, his eyes filled with sleepiness as he yawned.

"Daddy?" He whispered, seeing Derek, he smiled.

"Hey Rich…" Derek said with a soft smile as Richie waved and yawned again.

"I have to go potty, Daddy…" Greyson whispered as he looked up at Derek.

"Alright then…" Derek said softly as he looked down at Meredith. "Meri… I'm going to take the boys to the bathroom. Meredith continued to stare straight ahead, her eyes not moving, her mind still moving too quickly for her to pay attention. "Meri…" Derek said softly. He looked up at Mark, who nodded toward the door.

Derek lifted Greyson from his lap and took his hand, and Richie climbed from the bed and stood up, watching his mother. "Daddy, mommy looks sad…" He whispered as he watched Meredith continue to stare off.

"She is sad, buddy… let's go potty and then we'll decide what to do, okay?" Derek said as he watched Mark nod toward Meredith. He mouthed the word 'thank you' and slipped out the door with the two boys.

"I don't want to stay here no more…" Greyson whimpered. "I wanna go home…"

"I wanna go home too…" Richie whimpered.

"We'll go home… just relax and let's go to the bathroom." Derek said softly.

"Daddy… can we go home after we go potty?" Richie asked, looking up at Derek.

"Uncle Mark can take you back to the Seattle house if you want…but we have to wait for GG…"

"Oh." Richie said as he stopped for a minute, stopping Derek. "Then… I don't want to go there… I want to see GG…"

"Daddy, you said GG has a boo boo…" Greyson said, tugging on his father's arm. "Does she need a kiss to make it better…"

"She might need a kiss to make it better… but we have to wait for her to wake up from her surgery…"

"When will that be?" Richie asked. "I want to see GG now…"

"I want to see her too…" Greyson whimpered

"GG is very sick, boys… we have to wait until…"

"But I don't want to wait! I want to see GG now!" Richie exclaimed, the anxiety in his voice was unmistakable as he stomped his feet. A couple of nurses looked in his direction and he gave them an apologetic look as he tugged the boy's arms.

"Please…. Please… please, please…Let's just go to the bathroom so that we can get this done with…" Derek sighed as the boys gave Derek a confused look, the desperate look in his eyes was enough to make them stop arguing about it, but there was no way they were dropping this.

Derek finished up with the boys in the bathroom and was just exiting and walking down the hallway when an older man approached him. "Excuse me…" He said softly, looking to the younger man in scrubs who was walking down the hallway with the two little boys. Derek stopped and immediately the two boys pulled themselves behind their father.

"Can I help you?" He asked, unsure of why the boys were acting so strangely about this man, he looked up at him and tilted his head slightly, noticing something familiar about him.

"I… I'm Thatcher Grey…I'm Meredith's…"

"Mr. Grey." Derek said sternly, stiffening his posture slightly as he held the boys behind him. "Derek Shepherd." He said as politely as he could, holding his hand out and shaking the man's hand as he watched him look at him nervously. "Meredith's husband…" He said in a stern voice.

"Yes…I… I was here earlier… and I saw Meredith… well, I saw… I saw her much earlier and then I saw her a little while ago… and I was… I…"

"I'm really sure that Meredith isn't interested in speaking with you, Mr. Grey. She's been through an awful lot today, we both have. It's late… and I have to get our boys to bed."

"Is she alright?" Thatcher asked, his tone was showing genuine concern as he watched the younger man's eyes rake over him.

"Meredith is fine… she is strong, and she will make it through this…" He said strongly, unsure of exactly what Thatcher knew. "Though your concern shouldn't be with her, Mr. Grey." Derek said softly. "Shortly after Meredith spoke with you this afternoon, Ellis collapsed."

"Collapsed. Oh… Oh my… oh my God…" He said anxiously. "Is she alright? Is she…"

"She had to be rushed in for emergency surgery. She is in recovery… though from what I'm heard from your conversation with Meredith and Ellis, I'm fairly sure that you're not someone that they'd like to see right now. You can leave your inquiries at the nurses' station." He said sternly. "Excuse me." Derek said as he took his boy's hands and led them down the hallway, their heads turning to look at the man who they had seen earlier that day, feeling the same coldness from their father as they had when their mother had gotten through talking to him.

"Who is that man, Daddy?" Richie asked as they rounded the corner.

"He's someone that GG knew from a long time ago…" Derek said as he listened to the loudspeaker through the hospital calling for Doctor Shepherd. Just as he heard the announcement, the door to the on call room opened and Mark stepped out.

"There you are…" Mark said quickly. "That's the third time they called for you…"

"Shit…" Derek muttered as he held his boy's hands.

"I'll take them back to the house…" Mark said as he took their hand. "Do you want Meri to come with you?" He asked.

"No… let her stay in the room and…"

"Meri is coming with you." Meredith said as she stood in the doorway suddenly, taking a deep breath.

"Are you sure?" Derek asked, raising his eyebrows in concern.

"Hey… I'll either hear it from Richard, or from you… I'd rather hear it at the same time as you… so we can do this together." Meredith said, her voice tired and weak as she swallowed hard. She turned and knelt before her boys, leaning her forehead against their heads as they huddled into her. "You be good for your Uncle Mark…" She whispered as she watched them nod. "Daddy and I are going to go check on GG…see how she's doing, okay?"

"Okay…" The boys whispered as they nodded their heads.

"Mommy loves you very much."

"I love you, mommy…" Greyson whispered.

"I love you, mommy…" Richie whispered next as he leaned forward and kissed her nose. "Tell GG we love her…"

"Mama?" Greyson whispered as he watched the sad look in his mother's eyes.

"Hmm, baby?" Meredith asked softly.

"Give Snuggle bear to GG, please?" He whispered as he handed his favorite bear to Meredith. "He will kiss her boo boo…"

"Are you sure?" Meredith asked, glancing up to Derek, who looked proudly at his son as he nodded.

"I think she needs him…" He whispered.

"I'll be sure to deliver the message and Snuggle bear to GG." Meredith said softly as she kissed her boys. "Now be good…" She said softly as she took Derek's hand and held Snuggle bear to her heart. "Thank you, Mark…" She whispered as he nodded.

"I love you guys…" Derek said as he tugged on Meredith and looked up at the speaker as they called his name again. "Let's go, Meri…" He said softly as they made their way down the hallway, glancing back to the two boys as they waved at their parents as they made their way quickly down the hallway, holding their hands tightly as if it were the only thing keeping them from breaking apart.

The page over the loudspeaker had told them to report to a particular room on the third floor. Derek held Meredith's hand tightly as they approached the room, their hearts beating wildly within their chests as they approached the room. Derek pulled Meredith close as they slowed, as the door opened and Richard walked out. The look on his face was solemn, soft and sympathetic, though not quite holding that 'death blow' look that surgeons often had when they knew that there was no hope. He was concerned, worried, terrified, petrified all in one glance and it only became worse when he saw the look in Meredith's eyes.

"Doctor Shepherd…" Richard said as he sighed. "Meredith…"

"Doctor Webber…" Meredith replied, unsure of exactly how to react to the look on his face. Derek held her to him and she heard him sigh, though she was fairly sure she heard a hint of a whimper on his breathing.

"Derek…" Richard said softly. "I thought you would like an update on her status."

"Is there any change…?"

"She is stable and comfortable. Her pupils are reacting… that's a good sign, though we've decided to keep her under sedation for a short time, allowing the vessels to settle before we bring her out. Normal recovery from this surgery is probably…"

"She could be conscious in one to two days… if everything went well, isn't that correct?" Meredith asked, looking up at Derek.

"If everything went well… yes…" Derek nodded. He looked up at Richard and sighed slightly. "No signs of bleeding?"

"No bleeding… she is just sleeping now, and we will attempt to take her from the ventilator tomorrow. The nurses found this in her pocket, I guess it fell out when they were prepping her for surgery and I thought that it was intended for you." Richard said, handing an envelope to Derek.

Derek looked at the envelope in Richard's hand, he paused for a moment before taking it into his own and flipped it over to read the front. 'Derek Shepherd- In case of my death'. "Richard…" Derek said, glancing to him, shaking his head.

"I… I wasn't sure if I should give it to you… considering the circumstances."

"Why would…? When…?"

"Derek… I wouldn't ask questions. You know that Ellis is prepared for everything. She probably wrote this letter weeks ago when she found out about the aneurysm. Would you like to see her?"

"Yes." Meredith said softly, her eyes were still downcast as she held tightly to her husband. "Please…"

"Feel free to visit as long as you'd like. You both, as well as Doctor Sloan will be treated with the same privileges as one of our own doctors, so feel free to make yourselves at home." Richard nodded.

Derek nodded and slipped the letter into his pocket, his eyes flashed to Meredith and she watched his hand slide the paper inside. Her eyes lifted to his as Richard opened the door to the room and allowed them to enter.

Meredith and Derek walked into the recovery room, knowing full well what was waiting for them on the other side, though it still had the power to shock Meredith, seeing her mother lying there in that bed gave her such a small appearance, her head was bandaged and the ventilator was still attached to her mouth, ensuring that her lungs were still working, though providing her with oxygen and monitoring her heartbeat and any other movement. She had tubes poking from here and there, and being a doctor would have made that easier if she really wanted to know that her mother was being fed by a tube, her waste was being removed by a tube, but seeing her mother so vulnerable and helpless made Meredith want to crash to her knees and sob.

She refused to break down, though her legs refused to move any farther than the doorway. "Meri…" Derek whispered.

"Just… give… give me a minute…" She whispered as she stood frozen, mesmerized by the sights and sounds of the room. "Go… go over… go…" she pushed Derek slightly as she watched his eyes stare into hers.

"Meri, are… do you…"

"Derek, go…" She pushed him again, watching as he tilted his head slightly. "I'll be okay… just… just give me a minute…" She whispered, pushing him again.

"Richard says she's reacting to light…" Derek said as he looked up, walking slowly toward the bed, his eyes remaining on his wife as she stand there, grasping the small brown teddy bear in her arms as she watched him carefully. Her breathing was slightly labored and she looked absolutely exhausted. "Meri… that's a good thing… it's a good sign…" he whispered as he watched her. He picked up the chart that had been completed and flipped through it carefully. "Everything is looking good, Meri… everything is…"

"Derek, stop!" Meredith shouted suddenly.

"Meredith… I…"

"Just… just… stop!" She exclaimed as tears rolled down her cheeks, her body trembling as she grasped the bear tightly.

"Meredith… please…" Derek said as he approached her, reaching his hands out to her.

"Derek, no!" She exclaimed as she struggled from his grip. "No… if everything were okay, she wouldn't be lying in that bed… she wouldn't be lying there… if everything were good! Stop fooling yourself! Stop fooling yourself!" She exclaimed and was immediately pulled into his chest as she began to sob. "Stop fooling yourself… stop… stop…" She whispered, sobbing into him as she trembled in his arms, crying hysterically as he held her tightly, allowing her grip to tighten on him as she cried and he held her, thinking of nothing to say to her but that he loved her, and that no matter what happened, he would be there to protect her.

Derek held Meredith until her crying finally subsided, her whimpering was full of exhaustion and sadness as he requested a nurse bring her a bed to sleep on. She had insisted that the bed be pulled close to her mother's, as close as the nurse was willing to bring it, though it was still a good distance away as Derek lay fully awake in the small bed beside her, her head nestled in his chest as he listened to the rhythmic pulse of the machines in the room. Her rest was not immediate, but she was asleep in a very short amount of time as Derek lay beside her thinking about the day, the surgery, the past week, month, year. He could feel a sharp tug in his chest as he swallowed hard, thinking of his boys and how upset they had looked when they had found out about Ellis being sick.

He glanced to the bed where Ellis lay, her body still in the same position as it had been when they came into the room, give or take an inch or two from when the nurses came in to check on her, poking and prodding and examining. He thought about how much she would have hated it if she were awake, and how much she will hate it when she does wake up, when she does wake up. She will wake up.

He had tried to be positive for Meredith, the words that he had spoken of hope about her reacting to the light was indeed a good sign, but it meant nothing. People who were brain damaged could react to light as well. Dead people didn't. Ellis wasn't dead, and if he had anything to say about it, she wouldn't be dead for a very, very long time. He just hoped that for her sake and his wife's sake, that she was alive and moving fully when she came out of it.

Ellis was an active woman, waking every morning between three thirty and four on a regular day, arriving at the hospital promptly at four thirty every morning and leaving promptly at seven each evening. He didn't imagine that she stayed awake for very long after arriving home, knowing that her schedule was so rigid and formulated, he figured that there wasn't much to do once she came home anyway besides eat and go to sleep before her day began once again. This woman fought hard, worked hard, and was as stubborn as she pretended to be. She deserved the rest that she was getting right now, and that's what Derek was telling himself to get by from moment to moment so that he didn't fall into a million pieces like his wife had seemed to be doing.

He felt his phone buzzing in his pocket and lifted it to his ear. "Derek?" The familiar voice came over the line as Derek smiled sadly.

"Mom…" He whispered, knowing that she was probably upset at him for not calling her earlier, he waited for her onslaught of questions.

"Derek, you need to tell me what's going on over there, I can't sleep…" She whispered.

"Mom…I…"

"Don't stammer, dear… just tell me…it's okay… you can tell me anything…" She said nervously, knowing that he was stressed out, she tried her best to understand his feelings, but the longer she was kept out of the loop, the more anxious she felt. "Did Meri make it there alright?"

"Yes…"

"Greyson was a good boy?"

"Yes…he's with Mark and Richie… Ellis… Ellis underwent surgery this afternoon." He whispered.

"Oh… oh dear… were you there, sweetheart? What happened?"

"She passed out… and we brought her in and we had to do an emergency bypass… She… she's still out, but she appears to be doing well… but only time will tell…" He whispered, his throat closing slightly with the lump that he was trying desperately to swallow.

"How is Meri?" She whispered.

"She's taking it all very hard." Derek whispered. "She's sleeping right now…"

"The boys?"

"They're at the house with Mark… he's… he's been invaluable in this whole experience…we told them that GG was sick… they… they seemed to take it pretty hard, though they haven't been able to see her yet."

"Did you…"

"The chief of surgery was in charge of the surgery… but I was there… and I watched her through the entire procedure… it was a very, very long surgery." Derek said softly as he sighed.

"Derek…" Marion whispered softly as she sighed sympathetically. "Are you alright?"

Derek paused for a moment, unsure of exactly how to answer that question. No one had asked him until this moment how he was doing after the surgery, only Meredith. She shifted in his arms and he kissed her head softly as he held the phone to his ear. "I'm… alright." He said softly into the phone. "I'm doing alright, Mom…" He whispered.

"Are you sure?" Marion asked. "If you're lying to me, Derek…"

"I'm not lying…" he said, chuckling slightly at his mother's insistence.

"I will be on the next plane out there if I think you're lying… just to give you a smack…" She replied, hearing him chuckle again. "I love you, Derek…"

"I love you, Mom."

"I love all of you…"

"We love you…" He said, clearing his throat as he felt himself getting teary again. "Mom…" He whispered.

"What is it, sweetheart?"

"Instead of worrying about me… and Ellis… and Meri and the boys… why don't… why don't you busy yourself with finding more room in the basement for another grandchild's worth of Christmas gifts." He said, hearing the soft gasp over the phone line as he waited for her response.

"Derek!"

"It's true… we only found out the other morning… we'll let you know when we know more…"

"Derek, all of this stress can't be good for the baby!" She exclaimed.

"That's why she needs to know that Christmas is all settled…" Derek chuckled, listening to his mother's nervous laugh over the line. "I should… I should probably go… it's late here and I still haven't gotten any sleep."

"You rest, sweetheart… rest up and stay healthy… don't make me take that plane ride to Seattle… you know that I will if I have to…" She exclaimed.

"I know you would…" Derek said with a sigh. "Mom…" Derek whispered as he swallowed hard, feeling the tears in his eyes.

"Yes, sweetheart…?"

"Live forever…" He whimpered, allowing the tears to fall down his cheeks as he listened to his mother's breathing.

"I fully intend to, sweetheart… I fully intend to…" She whispered, feeling her own eyes filling with tears as she felt the pain of her son and his family clear across the country breaking her own heart from where she sit on her rocking chair on the front porch while she listened to the cricket's music fill the night as dawn slowly arrived.

Mark lay on the bed of the master bedroom, his eyes are on the ceiling, his mind wandering to places that he had never imagined them wander. He had a small five year old foot dangerously close to his face, and a draped over his chest lay the body of an exhausted three year old. He had been able to sleep for about an hour before the screams of a little boy roused him from his short lived dream, sending him careening into the bedroom.

Richie was having a bad dream, shouting in his dreams, his eyes closed as he sweated in his pajamas, his hair soaked with sweat, his screeching cry was heartbreaking. Mark didn't know what to do for him, in fear of waking up his brother, he lifted the little boy from the bed and brought him into the hallway, holding him through the bad dream as he rocked him, trying to bring him out slowly, when suddenly his eyes opened wide and he breathed in a deep breath as if he had been shocked by something. He took one look at Mark and his lip began to tremble.

"No… no, don't cry, buddy… it's alright… Uncle Mark is here… don't worry… don't worry, buddy." Suddenly, he started to cry, full broken sobs that nearly brought Mark to his knees as he held the little boy carefully, rocking him back and forth as he cried, rocking him back and forth as he suddenly felt a warm wetness on his arm. "Oh… crap…" Mark whispered as he carried Richie down the hallway, all the while talking to him in a low, soft whisper as he tried to reassure him.

"Uncle Mark…" He cried. "Uncle Mark, I'm sorry! I'm so sorry!" Richie cried as Mark rushed into the bedroom and grabbed the suitcase, wrenching a clean pair of pajamas, he rushed the little boy into the bathroom.

"It's alright… don't worry… it was an accident… accidents happen… it's okay… don't worry…" Mark kept repeating softly as Richie sobbed into his shoulder as Mark ran some warm water in the bathtub and carefully set Richie down as he helped him pull his wet pajamas off him as he stood there shivering, crying. "It's okay, buddy…" Mark said softly as he helped the little boy into the bathtub. "Uncle Mark understands…" he said as he washed his wet arm with a washcloth, tossing the soiled pajamas across the room, he gave Richie the soap and helped him clean up. After a little while, Richie became quiet as Mark drained the water and helped him from the bathtub and wrapped him in a warm towel. He stood the wrapped up little boy in front of him and looked him straight in the eye. "Hey…" he said, as Richie looked away from him. "Did you have a bad dream?" He asked softly.

"Uh huh…" Richie nodded as he sniffled.

"Do you remember what it was about?" Mark asked softly, rubbing the little boy's hair as he watched his Uncle Mark tilt his head in concern.

"Uh huh…" Richie nodded and sniffled again.

"It's okay to talk about it, you know… I'll listen if you want to talk about it, okay?" Mark said softly watching the little boy nod. "Are you going to be okay?"

"Uh huh…" he nodded as he wiped his nose.

"Let's get you some clean pajamas on and get you to bed." Mark said softly as he helped the little boy from the bathroom.

"Uncle Mark?" He said softly as he looked up at him, stopping for a moment.

"What is it, buddy?"

"Can I sleep with you?" He whispered. "Mama and Daddy let me sleep with them if I have a bad dream. I don't want to be alone." He whimpered.

"Of course you can…" Mark said softly as he nodded, handing Richie his pajamas as they walked toward the bedroom with Richie wrapped securely in the towel. "Go on and get dressed…" he said as he stepped out of the room for a moment. Just as he thought things were quiet, he heard some commotion coming from the bedroom.

Mark walked down the hallway and listened, and he swore he heard Greyson crying. "Grey?" Mark whispered, hearing the crying stop for a minute.

"Uncle Mark…" Greyson whimpered from the dark room as Mark flipped the switch on. The little boy was lying in the middle of the bed, holding tightly to the blanket as he cried.

"What's wrong, buddy?"

"I miss Mommy…" He whimpered as he sniffled.

"Well come on… Richie is getting some pajamas on… we can have a camp out in my room…"

"Really?" Greyson whispered as he sniffled and wiped his eyes.

"Yep… grab your blanket… let's go…" he said, ushering Greyson quickly out of the room as he switched off the light and headed down into his room. When they reached the room, Richie was already stretched out across the mattress, waiting for Mark, he smiled when he saw Greyson enter the room and they all hopped onto the bed and settled in. Richie cuddled into Mark and Greyson snuggled into his chest as Mark an his fingers through the little boy's hair and sighed softly as they closed their eyes.

"Goodnight, Uncle Mark." Richie whispered from his spot beside him.

"Goodnight, Richie…"

"G'night Uncle Mark." Greyson whispered softly.

"Night, Grey…" Mark whispered as he slowly ran his hand over the little boy's back and all three of them settled in as the two boys fell soundly to sleep.

That's where Mark found himself, a few hours and several new sleeping positions for Richie later, laying in a big bed, surrounded by the sweet innocence of his best friend's two sons, thinking of the happiness that they brought him, even despite sadness and wet beds, beyond the talking with their mouth full, dirty faces and thrown food. This was his family, and he couldn't be more proud to be the one that they trusted to take care of them.

When Derek woke from his sound sleep, his arms were strangely cold and his wife was no longer within his embrace. He thought for a split second of where she could be and immediately heard the toilet flushing in the bathroom. He glanced at Ellis, still in the exact place that she had been when he had fallen asleep and he rolled over, pushing his phone into his side, he grimaced as he sat up slowly, groaning as he stretched slightly.

"You sound like me…" Meredith's weak voice came from the opening bathroom door as she looked at him with sad, pitiful eyes as she swallowed hard.

"Are you alright?" He asked, his voice was tender and sweet and she appreciated the concern that was evident in it.

"I'm alright…" She whispered as she glanced at her mother lying on the bed. "I hate waiting, Derek…" She whispered as she slowly approached him, resting her head on his chest as he sit with his legs dangling over the edge, he wrapped his arms around her and kissed her head.

"I know, sweetheart… neither am I…" He whispered as he rubbed her back gently.

"Why did she do this, Derek?" Meredith whispered. "Why would she do this to her family? Why did she wait so damn long? Why does she want to die? Doesn't she love us? Doesn't she love her family?" She whimpered against him as she asked all of the questions he had been bombarding himself with since he had found out. "What was she hoping to accomplish? Why did she want to die? Why…?" She whimpered.

"Because for all of her knowledge of medicine… all of her knowledge and experience and love and respect for medicine… this was something she had no control over… she was scared, Meri… she was so scared…" Derek whispered as they watched Ellis continue to sleep.

"My mother… scared?" Meredith whispered as she looked up at her husband's honest and clear eyes.

"She was scared to death…" Derek whispered. "Almost literally…" He said as he kissed her forehead and rested her head against his shoulder as he gently rocked her.

"The eensy weensy spider went up the Uncle Mark…" The little boy whispered as he crawled his tiny fingers up the side of Mark's face. "Down came the rain and washed the spider out…" he whispered as Mark opened his eyes, he watched the pair of blue green eyes staring up at him. "Out came the sun and dried up all the rain and the…"

"EENSY WEENSY SPIDER WAS TICKLED!" Mark exclaimed as he lifted the little boy up and started tickling him, listening to him squeal loudly as he erupted into a song of melodic giggles that filled the room from one side to the other.

"No! Let go! Let go!" Greyson squealed as he struggled and giggled as Mark held him in the air tickling him and wiggling him around.

"Can you guys be quiet…I'm trying to sleep…" Richie grumbled as he lifted his moppy head of hair and flopped his face back down on the bed.

"Well excuse us…" Mark said as he lifted Greyson to the bed, watching the little boy walk around on the mattress, lose his footing and fall onto his side with a giggle, bouncing as he jumped from the bed.

"Come on, Uncle Mark… let's go play and let lazy bones sleep." Greyson giggled.

"Go play? I just woke up… how about I go pee first…"

"You can go pee, but hurry…" Greyson said, nodding his head as he waited for Mark.

While Mark was in the bathroom, the cell phone on the table rang, sending Greyson's eyebrows up. He reached for the cell phone and flipped it open. "Hello?" He said into the phone.

"Who is this?" The voice demanded on the other line as Greyson's voice became softer, unsure if he recognized the voice.

"Greyson Robert Shepherd…" Greyson said softly into the line, glancing toward the bathroom.

"Grey… it's Aunt Crissy…"

"Aunt Crissy! Are you coming to Seattle?"

"I just might… Where's Uncle Mark?"

"He's peeing…" Greyson said with a sigh.

"He's peeing…" Cristina sighed.

"Yes."

"Listen… I've got to go… Tell Uncle Mark to call me… can you do that?"

"Uh huh…" He nodded.

"Love you…"

"Love you, Aunt Crissy…" Greyson said as the bathroom door opened and Mark walked out, he noticed the little boy with the phone in his hand.

"Hey… what are you doing fooling around with that?" Mark asked with a chuckle as he held his hand out to the little boy.

Greyson slapped the phone into his hand and looked up at him. "Aunt Crissy says you're peeing…"

"What?" He laughed.

"Um…"

"Aunt Crissy was on the phone?"

"Yes." He nodded definitively.

"And she said that I was peeing?"

"No, I said you were peeing, and she said it too."

"Oh…" Mark said as he scratched his head. "Did she tell me to call her back?"

"I guess." Greyson shrugged.

"You're a lot of help…" Mark said sarcastically.

"Thank you." He grinned brightly as he turned and walked out of the room, leaving Mark perplexed as he shook his head and dialed Cristina's number.

"What's going on?"

"Nothing… I just woke up… what's going on with you? Are you alright?"

"I'm fine… why wouldn't I be fine?"

"You're calling me… you never call me… what's wrong?"

"Nothing is wrong…"

"Something's wrong… what's wrong?"

"Mark…"

"Cristina…"

"How is the chief?"

"Same as last night, I suspect… Cris…"

"Meri… how is she? Is she alright?"

"She's fine… I took the boys to the house last night for some sleep and a little bit of normalcy while Mer and Der stayed at the hospital… please tell me what's going on…"

"Mark…"

"Cristina…"

"Mark… I'm late…"

"Well then… will you talk to me about it later?"

"No… Mark…" Cristina sighed.

"Please?"

"Mark… I'm late…"

"Okay… I'll let you go… but I just… I want you to talk to me about…"

"MARK! I AM LATE! LATE! LATE LATE LATE! NOT FOR AN IMPORTANT DATE! FOR MY GODDAMNED PERIOD! I HAVE NOT HAD MY GODDAMNED PERIOD!"

"Oh." He said softly into the line as he let her screaming sink in. "Well… um… We'll talk about it later, then? Since you have to… since you have to go…" He whispered as he swallowed hard.

"You're impossible." She sighed angrily.

"Do you need me to come home?"

"No." She said as she swallowed hard. "Mark…"

"It's alright…" he said softly as he sighed. "Don't be scared…"

"I'm not scared…" She muttered quickly.

"I'll tell Meredith to call you."

"Thank you…" She whispered. "I'll talk to you later…"

"I'll talk to you later… Cris?"

"Hm…"

"I love you." He whispered.

"You had goddamned better…" She replied, listening to the pause. "Mark…"

"Hm…?"

"I love you too." She whispered as she hung up the phone.

Derek sat in the chair of Ellis' room, his eyes on her bed watching ever rise and fall of her chest as he sit waiting again for Meredith to come out of the bathroom. Her morning sickness had subsided slightly, though the longer they sat there, the worse she was feeling. "Meri, are you sure you don't need something?"

"I need food…" She groaned as she walked out of the bathroom, sniffling a little as she wiped her eye.

"Food? You just puked out everything you've eaten for a week, not to mention what you're about to eat already…" Derek replied, watching the scowl on her face appear. "Food, huh?" He said with an apologetic sigh. Do you want me to get you something… do you want to come with me? Tell me what you want…" He said as he approached her, slipping a stray hair behind her ear. "Anything, it's yours…" He whispered softly.

"I…" She whimpered, her mouth stuck in the open position for a moment as she stared into his eyes.

"I know what you want." He whispered. "And I'd do it… if I could… right now…" He said as he leaned down and kissed her lips softly, closing her mouth as she kissed him back. "I'll get you something to eat." He whispered as he moved his thumb across her forehead. He leaned forward and kissed it softly.

"Thank you…" She whispered as she hugged him softly, releasing him, watching him walk to the door.

"Now you take good care of her…"

"I will…" She whispered as he walked through the doorway and out into the hall.

Meredith turned toward her mother and sighed, the shock of seeing her there lying so helpless had worn off through the evening and through the morning and into the early afternoon. She had grown accustomed to the sounds just as she had usually done in Boston, knowing that the only reason the sights and sounds had disturbed her so much was because this person lying before her was her own mother, someone she had never seen even sleeping let alone lying in a hospital bed connected to tubes and machines keeping her breathing, nourished and alive.

"Mommy…" Meredith whispered as she pulled the chair up to the bed, kneeling on it as she leaned over the back of the chair, her arms extended over the back of it onto her mother's bed. "Mommy, you have to be okay…" She whispered. "I'm not ready to let you go…none of us are ready to let you go…I don't want to tell the boys that they'll never see their GG awake…I don't want to have to tell my newest baby about who you were… how you were… what you were to us… I don't want to have to do that… that's up to you to do, mommy…" Meredith whispered.

"I remember… when I was ten years old… and you had told me that I could go to that sleepover party… at Stacy Wilken's house… you probably don't remember it, I mean… it was such a long time ago and it was such a little thing… but you know… you let me go… and it was my very first real sleepover… what… I didn't tell you about that sleepover was that I got really sick while I was there… I threw up all over Stacy's mom… and I begged her not to let me go home… I begged her… and she let me stay the night… and I spent most of the night away from the rest of the girls, but I stayed… and you know… I didn't want to go home… I didn't want to go home not because I didn't think that you'd never let me go to another sleepover, or that you'd scold me for embarrassing you or something… I didn't want to go home because I was… I didn't want to disappoint you… you know? I didn't want you to think that I was weak… that I couldn't handle one night away from home… I couldn't stand for you to see me weak, Mom… ever… I am a weak person… from time to time… and I have allowed myself to learn and grow… and figure out that sometimes, sometimes it's alright to be weak… to the right person, in the right situation. Sometimes its okay to be scared, to ask for help. Sometimes… all you need is that one person to take your hand and tell you that you did a good job, and that… even if I wasn't strong all the time… you'd be proud of me either way… even if you gave me a seemingly hard time about it." Meredith sighed as she ran her fingertips over her mother's hand.

"Mom…I love you with all of my heart." Meredith whispered. "Do you remember when Richie was born? Of course you remember… you and Marion couldn't get enough of him… always asking about him… always talking about him to other people… I remember that as clearly as if it were yesterday… how you told Derek that you thought he'd be born with his own hair product line…" Meredith laughed. "He talked about that for weeks…" Meredith rolled her eyes. "I was… so scared of becoming you back then." Meredith sighed. "I was so scared that I would be this absent mother that couldn't be there… wouldn't be there… would grow to not care one way or another of whether or not I was there for my child. I didn't want that… I wouldn't have been able to live with myself if I let my child grow up the same way that I had… that's what I thought then… that I had it rough…" Meredith sighed.

"I was wrong about that…mom…" Meredith sighed. "You did things right…for me… and though I may have been a lonely child at times… I was better for it… I earned my place in this world, I learned how to be a mother, how to be a friend to my child and to you. I learned that every person is different, and every child needs to experience different things… You always loved me… and you always tried to protect me from the bad things in the world. You even tried to protect me from Derek…" Meredith said with a sad laugh.

"He has always defended you, Mom. Even in the days that you'd torture him with hours of work and no sleep… he did it all to prove to you that he was strong… that he could do it… that he was worthy of your love and respect. He loves you so much… you can't die on him, Mom… you can't do this to him…" Meredith sighed as she swallowed hard.

"Every word that I spoke to Thatcher, mom… every single last word was true. You're my mentor and my teacher… you're my mother… my friend… and I can't thank you enough for always being here…there are so many things that we need to talk about Mom… so you can't go… you can't go…I love you…" She whispered as she leaned down and kissed her mother's hand, holding it securely in her hand as she closed her eyes and prayed as she cried silent tears of sadness and hope.

She held her mother's hand securely for a long time as she heard the door open slowly and the sound of a brown paper bag rustling. She felt him near her, his body press against hers lightly as he kissed her temple. She opened her eyes and before her was a freshly scooped ice cream cone. "What is that?" She asked, turning her head to see his blue eyes looking into hers.

"Ice cream…"

"Ice cream isn't food, Derek… contrary to the 'man food groups'… it's not food…"

"I got you other food too… quick… take it before it melts…"

"Where did you get it?"

"There's an ice cream place next door…" He said as she took the ice cream cone from him and took a big lick. "Mm… chocolate chip…" She smiled as she turned in the chair and sat down. "I haven't had chocolate chip in a long time…" She said, looking up at him.

"Your mom recommended it…" He winked as he crouched down in front of her.

"What?" She asked, taking another lick as she gave him a confused look.

"She said it was your favorite kind when you were a little girl…" Derek said as he took a lick from his own ice cream cone.

"She did not…" Meredith said with a surprised look.

"She did…" Derek said softly as he touched her cheek. "She remembers things, Meri…She loved you…she loves you…"

"I love her." Meredith said softly as she turned her head to watch her mother again, as she finished her ice cream cone quietly, her hand entwined in Derek's as she blinked away the tears.

Mark put the boys in the car and buckled them in. He had fed them and bathed them in a cloud of confusion, and he could tell by the silence of the two boys that they could sense something was off. "Are you okay, Uncle Mark?" Richie asked, watching him carefully.

"Um… uh… yeah, why?"

"You're still trying to buckle me in…" he said, pointing to the latch that Mark kept pushing on.

"Oh… oh… ha… I didn't even notice…" He laughed as he shook his head. "I'm just silly today…"

"Yes… yes you are…" Richie nodded.

"Silly, Uncle Mark…" Greyson said with a giggle as he smiled at them and shook his head, closing the door after they were all buckled up. He climbed into the driver's side and sighed as he slipped his keys into the ignition.

"Are we going to go see mommy and daddy, Uncle Mark?" Richie asked.

"Are we going to go see GG?" Greyson asked. "I want to see GG…"

Mark sat in his seat for a moment, unsure if he should bring them to the hospital or not. If he brought them there, the kids would surely make a scene until they got to see their grandmother, and he didn't know if he was ready for that. "You know what… let's call up mommy and daddy… and we can see if GG is doing alright…" He said quickly. "Does that sound like a good idea?" He asked, smiling at the resounding 'yeah' from the back seat. He pushed the button for Derek's cell phone and waited.

After several moments, the phone picked up. "Der."

"Mark… how are the boys?" He said immediately, no pause.

"They're doing well…" Mark said looking at the boys. "Daddy says hi…"

"HI DADDY!" Both boys screeched loudly as Mark held the phone to his ear as if it were keeping the sound out.

"Did you hear that?" Mark asked.

"I think that there are very few people in the world that didn't…" Derek chuckled slightly.

"How's the chief?" Mark asked, getting right to the point.

"No change…" Derek said, there was a light shuffle on the other line.

"Mark…" Meredith's voice came over the line. She sounded frightened and sad, but there was still a very evident sound of strength in her voice.

"Meri…" Mark whispered, feeling his stomach suddenly relax at the sound of her voice. The bravery in her voice was enough to calm him slightly. "How are you feeling?"

"I'm… I'm okay… how are my boys? Are they behaving themselves?"

"They're being very good…" Mark said, sighing as he swallowed hard.

"I need them…" She whispered.

"If I bring them to the…"

"She's stable… they won't let them in right away… but I can talk to them… I'd like to talk to them…"

"We'll come see you…" Mark replied. "Meri, if it's any consolation… you're being very brave, and I'm proud of you." He said softly, hearing the soft release of breath on the other side of the line.

"Thank you, Mark." She said softly.

"Never a problem, Meri…" Mark replied. "Meri, Cris wants you to call her…"

"Is she alright?"

"I'm not sure… it's kind of important… call me after you talk to her…" He said softly as he sighed.

"Way to not make me panic, Mark…" Meredith teased.

"She's late." Mark said into the phone, the words seemingly foreign from his lips. Referring to Cristina in any context, the term 'she's late' seemed odd, but at this moment, all Mark could hear was a slight chuckle.

"What?"

"I'm just not surprised…" Meredith said softly. "If it's not one crisis, it's another…" She said softly as she shook her head. I'll call her… thank you, Mark."

"We'll see you soon, Meri."

"Drive carefully… you have my life in that car with you…"

"I have your kids in here too…" Mark chuckled, hearing Meredith groan slightly as Mark laughed and hung up, and was immediately on his way out of the driveway on his way to the hospital.

Meredith sat in the hallway outside her mother's room and dialed her friend's number, and it hadn't even gone through a full ring when she heard her voice. It was low and gravely, almost as if she… Meredith paused as she listened to her friend throw up. She could feel the bile rising up in her stomach as she flipped the phone closed and ran for the nearest bathroom. She fell to her knees and started to throw up, groaning as she cursed her husband, though she did it silently, she could practically hear him chuckling from there. When she had recovered, her phone chirped and she leaned against the wall of the bathroom and lifted the phone to her ear.

"You hung up on me!"

"You made me throw up!"

"You made me throw up first!"

"All I did was call you!"

"Calling triggered vomit…"

"Did you take the test, Cris?"

"Yes."

"One line or two…?"

"Meri…don't…"

"Come on… you are, aren't you?"

"You know how I always want what you have…" Cristina sighed.

"Yes…"

"I don't want this…" She whimpered.

"The baby?"

"No… the sickness… the baby isn't a problem…"

"Are you going to see the doctor?"

"Tomorrow…" She sighed. "Meredith…" She whined.

"Do you want me to send him home?"

"No!" Cristina exclaimed. "He hates puke…" She sighed.

"He handled mine just fine…" Meredith said with a half chuckle.

"Tell me you puked on him…"

"Twice…" Meredith cringed.

"Oh, Meri… I knew I loved you for a reason…" Cristina said, her voice seemingly happier.

"Do you want me to send him home, Cris?"

"I'll talk to him… but I think you guys need him more than I need him…" She said with a sigh.

"How is work?" Meredith said softly.

"Hanna is out."

"Out?"

"Out… as in… the day you left… as in… gone… history… as in… Bailey is in…"

"Bailey? Bailey is a hard ass…"

"But she's fair… and… she likes me…"

"Suck up." Meredith replied.

"Says the girl that's married to the Neuro attending and daughter of the chief of surgery…" Cristina rolled her eyes.

"Hey… I do not suck up to them." Meredith said matter of factly, pausing for a moment. "Okay… maybe I suck up to Derek… but it's not for surgery… and it's not in the usual manner…" She said with a snarky laugh.

"Shit… I have to go…" Cristina said as the sound of her pager became louder.

"Don't puke on your patient…" Meredith said quickly.

"Oh, Meri! Why did you have to say puke?" Cristina said with a groan as her phone disconnected.

Meredith took a deep breath and carefully stood up, trying to ward off the wave of nausea that was coming over her, when she heard the sound of two familiar boys chattering away in the hallway. She smiled as she wiped her mouth, washing her hands, she headed out the door to see her boys.

Meredith followed the sound of her son's voices. They sounded upbeat and happy and she was quietly thanking Mark for that particular fact as she saw the two of them climbing on him on one of the waiting room chairs as they all giggled and fought over 'which was going to call mommy' as Mark held the cell phone in his hand.

"I get to call Mommy because I cleaned the breakfast dishes this morning!"

"I get to call Mommy cuz… cuz…. I want to!" Greyson exclaimed.

"How about you both call me right now?" Meredith said as she held her arms out.

"Mommy!" The boys shouted excitedly as they ran across the waiting room to their mother standing in the doorway as she scooped them both up at the same time.

Meredith pushed her head into her son's necks and breathed in their sweet little boy scent as she tried to keep herself from crying. "Oh… my little boys…" She groaned. "My sweet, sweet little boys… I missed you so much…" She groaned.

"We missed you, Mommy…" Greyson mumbled as he hugged his mother tightly.

Meredith looked up as she walked toward Mark, still holding the boys, he stood up and met her halfway. "Thank you…" She whispered as tears started to come to her eyes.

"Hey… you're my family…" Mark said as his arms encircled the three of them. The door to Ellis' room opened and Derek walked out looking for Meredith, immediately noticing the hugging session down the hallway.

He walked down quickly and smiled a sad smile as he approached them. "So it's not bad enough that she's carrying your baby, but you have to get in on the group hugs too?" He teased as he laughed slightly, watching Mark release from the hug and turn around with a smile.

"I can't help it if you're never around…" Mark teased as he watched Derek's eyes widen and mouth open is faux surprise. "How you doing, man?" He asked holding his hand out to Derek, feeling his friend's strong grip after a moment.

"Hanging in there…no change, though." He said as he leaned forward and kissed his boys and his wife on the nose. "How were they last night?"

Mark looked to Richie, who gave him a warning glance. "They were absolute angels… not one little issue…sweet as pie…"

"Why do I get a feeling there's a slight conspiracy here?" Meredith asked as she noticed the glance between her son and Mark.

"No spear see, mom… whatever that is…" Richie sighed. "Can we see GG now?"

Meredith's eyes flashed to Derek who gave them a bit of a nervous look. "Why don't we go down to the cafeteria first… so mommy and daddy can talk to Uncle Mark…"

"We already had breakfast." Greyson sighed. "It's time to see GG."

"I want to see GG! I want to tell her a secret!" Richie exclaimed.

"GG is sleeping, boys…" Derek said softly as he lifted Richie from Meredith's arms and placed him on the floor, taking his hand. "Let's let her sleep and go talk with Uncle Mark for a little while…"

"I don't believe you that GG is sleeping." Richie pouted with an angry look.

"Then don't believe me…" Derek shrugged as they all walked down the hallway together toward the elevator. "But I'd never lie to you…"

Derek held Meredith's hand as she carried Greyson. Richie walked alongside Mark as they all made their way to the cafeteria. They walked into the room and Richie ran along ahead and picked out a table, climbing up onto the chair, he waited for his parents. Mark sat beside him and Greyson slid from his mother's arms and onto a chair beside his brother as Meredith and Derek sat down as well.

"So…" Mark sighed, watching Meredith as she smirked, he could feel a smile sliding onto his features.

"So…" Derek said, watching Mark and Meredith smirking at one another. "Anyone going to tell me what's going on?"

"Richie peed the bed…" Greyson spoke up.

"Shut up!" Richie exclaimed, slamming his brother with both hands, sending Greyson flying nearly off his chair.

"Richard!" Meredith exclaimed as she caught Greyson before he fell to the ground.

"Mommy!" Greyson exclaimed as he gripped Meredith tightly and started to cry as Mark grabbed Richie's shoulder before he slapped Greyson again.

"What on earth was that all about?" Meredith asked, her face shocked at her son's anger, his cheeks were red and his teeth gritted.

"That's enough, Richard…" Derek spoke up, slapping his hand on the table. "We won't talk about that…"

"Stupid baby… stupid… stupid baby…"

Meredith cleared her throat as she positioned Greyson on her shoulder as he continued to cry softer. "Speaking of stupid baby…" Meredith sighed.

"Hey…" Derek said as he watched her eyes sparkle as he looked at her. She smiled.

"Okay… speaking of baby…"

"It's true, isn't it?" Mark whispered.

"She… took a test this morning…" Meredith said, a slow smile slipping across her face as she couldn't help but grin.

"Seriously?" Mark asked, his grin brightening.

"Seriously!" Meredith exclaimed.

"Seriously! What is going on?" Derek asked, his head going back and forth between his friend and his wife.

"Cristina is pregnant…." Mark smiled. The words made his smile even brighter. "Cristina is having…"

"Congratulations!" Derek exclaimed. "Two at once!" He exclaimed, getting Mark to laugh as his face turned bright red as he laughed.

"I think you can have credit for the first one… I'll take the second one…" Mark joked back as he accepted Derek's hug as he came around the table.

"You're going to be a daddy!" Derek exclaimed.

"I'm going to be a daddy…" Mark said as a tear escaped his eye.

"Uncle Mark can't be a daddy…" Richie said as he looked surprised. "He's my uncle…"

"Aunt Crissy's going to have a baby…" Meredith exclaimed.

"No…" Richie shook his head. "No she's not…" Richie exclaimed. "It's bad enough I have to share Uncle Mark with Greyson… he can't have a baby…"

"Richard, that's not nice…" Meredith said as she looked up at Derek, who gave her a nervous look.

"This is stupid." Richie said grumpily as he slid out from his seat and walked around the table to sit down away from Mark.

"Richie…" Meredith said with a sigh.

"No… I don't want to talk about it anymore.." He said as he buried his head in his arms on the table.

"Can I play with the baby too?" Greyson asked.

"Of course you can… but it's very early… so we're going to have to wait for a while…" Derek said as he continued to watch Richie pout.

"I guess that the other… erm… bombshell can't be dropped…" Mark said with a worried look.

"We're going to wait a little bit on that one, I think…" Derek said as he sighed.

"I think that's best…" Meredith cringed a bit. "Congratulations, Mark…" She said as she reached her hand out as Mark reached over and touched her hand. "You're going to make a great father…" She said as he held her hand tightly in his.

"Did she need me to come home?" Mark asked.

"She said that you're needed here more… but it's your decision, sweetheart… we appreciate all of your help."

"I'll talk to her." Mark replied. "Maybe we can come up with a compromise…" He said with a smile as he sighed, his eyes drifting to the little boy across the table, whose face was still down in his arms.

They visited for a while as the two boys became antsy from sitting still. Richie was glaring across the table at Mark and Greyson was insistent about getting up and moving around. "Mama… I want to see GG now." Greyson whined.

"We're never going to see GG!" Richie exclaimed suddenly, slamming his hand down on the table.

"Richard, that's enough." Derek said sternly as Richie glared at him.

"GG went to Florida, didn't she? She went to Florida and you don't want to tell me!" He exclaimed to Derek. "How could you let her go! How could you let her go without saying goodbye to me!" Richie exclaimed as he stood up.

"Richie… GG is not in Florida…" Derek said softly.

"Then I want to see her! I want to see her, now!" He sobbed as tears rolled down his cheeks. "I want to go home! I want to go home and see GG! I don't want to be here in Seattle no more! I want to go home! I hate it here! I hate it here, Daddy!" He exclaimed as he hiccupped, pushing away from the table. Derek knew that if he didn't grab the little boy soon, he was going to turn and run, and as soon as Derek thought it, Richie turned to run off. Derek reached across the table, nearly missing his arm, he caught him by the wrist and pulled him toward him.

"Where are you going to go, Richard?"

"I am going to find, GG!" He shouted. "I am going to find her to bring her home with me!" He sniffled.

"You're going to kidnap GG?"

"Yes!" He exclaimed.

"Richard…"

"I'm not a baby, Daddy… you can tell me that GG went to Florida…" He cried.

"Sweetheart…" Meredith said softly as she watched Derek and Richie talk.

"Mommy…" Richie whimpered. "I want to see her…I NEED to see her!" He whimpered.

"Then we'll go see her." Meredith said, her emotions getting the best of her, the sound of her son's sobs being awful for her to hear.

"Meredith… we can't… she's…"

"He wants to see his GG, Derek… I'm not going to deny him for one more second…" She said with an angry sigh as she stood and took his hand, leading him slowly from the cafeteria.

"I want to see GG too!" Greyson exclaimed as he leapt from his chair and ran across the cafeteria for his mother's other hand.

Derek and Mark exchanged a look. Derek's was one of exhaustion, filled with a perplexed sigh of issues to come. Marks was filled with an overwhelming feeling of responsibility and worry. "I…" Mark muttered.

"I have no idea." Derek sighed as he stood up and followed his family out of the cafeteria, followed by Mark.

Meredith walked down the hallway purposefully with her two boys, stepping into the elevator, she said nothing as Richie kept looking up at her. Her face was determined and he wiped away the tears in his eyes with his other hand as he watched Mark and Derek catch up. She pushed the button for the proper floor and they all were silent as they made their way toward the room that Derek had come out of. She took a sharp turn into one of the waiting rooms with them, and Richie looked back toward the door as they entered the room.

"Listen…" Meredith said as she pulled the two boys lightly as she sat down, releasing their hands, she reached for them again once she was in the chair. "Before… you boys go in there, mommy needs to talk to you…" She said with a sigh.

"Meredith, this is not a…"

"Shh…" She scolded as she looked up at her husband, who stopped talking immediately, the glare from Meredith was icy cold, and he needed to speak up, but he though it best to wait.

"Richie… Greyson… you know that GG was sick… right… Mama told you that she was sick…"

"Mama…" Richie whined.

"Listen to me… we talked about this yesterday… do you remember… Daddy said that GG had a boo boo inside her…"

"Wait!" Richie exclaimed.

"What, sweetheart?"

"Does this have to do with dinosaurs?" Richie asked, his mouth wide with surprise.

"Dinosaurs?" Meredith asked, glancing up at Derek, whose eyes widened.

"Yes!" Derek exclaimed, pulling his son slightly, he crouched down and faced him. "Richie… do you remember when we went into that room and looked at the pictures on the screen?"

"The brains…" Richie nodded, glancing to Meredith.

"Yep… remember that it had dinosaurs in it…"

"Derek…?" Meredith asked.

"Yes!" He exclaimed, excitedly now that he knew what was going on.

"GG… she…"

"GG HAD DINOSAURS IN HER BRAIN?" Richie exclaimed, his mouth widened, his eyes widened as he listened to his father.

"Derek, what are you…?"

"Shh…" Derek said to his wife, who scowled at him as he smirked, eliciting a laugh from Mark. "Richie… when GG got sick… we found some dinosaurs…" Derek shrugged. "And since daddy is a doctor… he was able to help get them out…"

"OH…" He sighed. "Oh… so the dinosaurs are gone?"

"Yes…" Derek said, watching Richie calm down.

"Thank goodness…" He sighed in exaggerated nervousness.

Derek turned around for a second and whispered something to Mark, who walked out of the room. Meredith watched curiously as he disappeared out the door and her attention went back to Derek as he talked to the boys. "So listen… we're going to put on some dinosaur proof suits… and we're going to go and see GG…"

"Dinosaur proof suits?" Greyson asked, looking at his father curiously as he held his big brother's hand.

"Yep… special hats and clothes so that we don't have to worry about any dinosaurs lurking about the room…" Derek nodded as Mark came in holding child sized hospital gowns and surgical caps and masks.

"Mark… I only asked for the hospital gowns…" He said with a chuckle.

"Hey, we're dealing with dinosaurs here… can't be too careful…" He said seriously with a smirk, glancing to Meredith who nearly laughed out loud. Derek unfolded the gown for Greyson as Richie put his own on and Meredith tied it in the back. Derek put the surgical caps on the two boys and carefully tied the masks around their mouths, nearly covering their whole face, Derek folded them in half and looked at the two boys as they watched their father carefully.

"Now what?" Richie asked, his eyebrows raised as he looked to Mark and back to his mother.

"Now we go in and see GG… but you have to remember… she had surgery… so you have to try to be real quiet… she's still sleeping…" Derek said as he watched the boys nodding. "You're going to hear lots of noises and see all kinds of tubes and wires and stuff that are on GG… they're there so that the doctors can be sure that the dinosaurs aren't coming back… they're for extra protection…since she was so sick…" Derek explained watching the boys nod. "If you get scared… just tell mommy or daddy and we'll make sure you make it out of there safely… so no running off… or running of any kind… understand?" He asked, watching the two boys nod.

"Are you ready?" Meredith asked them as she watched Derek look up at her. The two boys nodded and Meredith stood up carefully, taking Greyson's hand. Derek took Richie's hand and Richie and Greyson held hands between them. Mark stood back for a moment and watched them.

"Are you coming?" Derek asked softly.

"No… no… it's alright… I'll just… I'll stay here…"

"We can get you a dinosaur proof suit if that would make you feel better…" Meredith said with a smirk as he watched her ask him to come with them without words.

"I'm not afraid of no dinosaurs…" Mark pouted.

"Then come with us…" Meredith said with a soft smile. "I'll hold your hand…" She said, nodding toward the room.

Mark smiled a grateful smile and stepped forward. "I'll follow you inside…" He said with a chuckle as they walked toward the room.

"Wait…" Richie said as he stopped, looking up at his mommy and daddy. "You're not wearing dinosaur proof suits…" He said nervously.

"Well… I sprayed myself with anti-dinosaur spray… how about you, Mommy?"

"Yep… no dinosaurs are going to get me…" Meredith nodded.

"Are you sure?" Greyson whimpered nervously.

"I promise…" Derek said softly as he reached for the doorknob. "Alright…" He said softly as he slowly opened the door, leading his family into Ellis' room, one at a time, until they were all inside and the door slowly closed behind them.

They walked into the room slowly, the little boys were pulling back on their parent's arms slightly as the sights and sounds hit them. Derek looked down at his boys, dressed in their surgical garb and smiled at the curious look in their eyes, though he knew that fear was hiding within them as well.

"Where is she?" Richie asked as he pulled on the mask over his mouth slightly, being sure not to pull it off.

"Right over there, buddy…" Derek said as Richie released his brother's hand and let Derek lift him up, Greyson was lifted by Meredith as they both approached the bed. Mark stood back near the door, almost as if he were too afraid to approach. Derek stepped onto one side of the bed, and they looked down at Ellis.

The ventilator was still in her mouth, mask over her nose and mouth and her skin looked pale and pasty. Her hair was hidden by the gauze head wrap and the only solid thing the boys could see was her hands, and even they had an IV in one of them. "Are you sure that's GG?" Richie whispered.

"It's GG…" Derek whispered.

"She looks sad…" Richie whispered.

"She looks sleepy…" Greyson replied.

"Well, she's had a long couple of days… so she's pretty tired." Meredith whispered.

"We don't want to wake her up…" Greyson whispered back.

"Right…" Meredith nodded.

"That's not really GG, is it?" Richie said again, glancing to his father and back to his mother.

"It is…" Meredith replied.

"Tell her to wake up." Richie replied.

"Sweetheart, we need to let her sleep…" Meredith said softly.

"I don't believe it's GG. I can't see her hair…"

"Her hair is under the bandage, sweetheart." Meredith replied.

"She's not supposed to be sleeping, she's supposed to be in her office sitting at her desk yelling at doctors." Richie said indignantly, his brow furrowed in concern.

"She's the boss." Greyson replied.

"Hey…" Mark finally said as he approached the bed. All four of the Shepherd's attention was on him as he approached them timidly. "If this wasn't GG… then why is he here?" Mark asked, raising his eyebrows as he pointed at the little brown bear sitting on the edge of her pillow with his own surgical mask that Derek had fastened on him.

"Snuggle bear…" Greyson smiled beneath the mask, the little corners of his eyes wrinkled in happiness as he saw the bear. "It is GG, Richie…" He said with a smile.

Richie looked down at the woman lying on the bed and back to Mark, and then back to the bear. He sighed as he scrutinized the situation and shook his head. "I don't know about this…" He sighed seriously.

"It is GG, Richie…" Greyson said as he reached for his brother. "It is…"

Richie sighed as he turned his head, burying his head in his father's shoulder for a moment, he could feel tears coming to his eyes and he wasn't able to stop them. "I wanna go home." He whimpered into his father's shoulder. "Daddy, take me home…" He whispered.

"I'm going to…take him out into the hallway…" Derek whispered. "Are you guys alright?"

"We'll be alright…" Meredith whispered as she watched her little boy trembling in his father's arms. She felt so helpless that she couldn't help him feel better. It was a sad time for everyone and it was going to be especially hard on the little ones. "Mommy loves you, Richard…"

"I love you, Mommy…" he whimpered as Derek slipped out into the hallway with the little boy grasping him tightly.

The afternoon slipped into evening, and that evening slipped into three more evenings as Ellis was eventually taken off the ventilator, and three more evenings slipped by after that. She was breathing on her own, and was off sedatives, though she was officially five days over the time that they had estimated she would be awake.

It had been six days since that evening in the hospital room when Derek held Richie in his arms in the hallway and let him cry, five days since Greyson asked to hold his GG's hand, four days since the sedatives had last gone through her system, three since the ventilator had been removed, two since Cristina had arrived, and one day since Meredith said that she couldn't stand to see her mother lying in the bed any longer.

Derek sat alone in the hospital room, the heart monitor pulsing softly in the background as he leaned over the small tray table with a handful of playing cards. "Do you have any aces?" He asked seriously as he looked up at the sleeping form, sighing he reached across the tray table to the group of cards that he had dealt to Ellis and looked through them. "Hey… you have an ace in here… and a seven… I asked you about sevens earlier…" Derek sighed as he tossed the cards on the bed. "You're such a cheater…" He mumbled as he rolled his eyes and put his head back. "You're better at Poker anyway… has anyone ever told you that you have a good poker face? Well, you do…" Derek said as he sighed and pulled a bottle of water from the small cooler that he had sitting beside the bed. "Want some?" He asked, waiting for a moment , he shrugged and sat back as he opened the cap and watched her, sipping at his water. "You're a lot more fun when you're bitching at me, Ellis…" Derek sighed.

He placed the bottle on the floor beside his chair and pulled the worn envelope from his pocket. He sat back in the chair and stared at the paper at his fingertips, the worn fold in the center from slipping it in and out of his pocket for the past six days, he glanced up at Ellis and watched as she slept.

"I remember… when I hated you…" Derek said softly as he tilted his head and looked to the door for a moment. He pushed the tray table from in front of him and slid his chair forward. "Ellis…" Derek said softly as he leaned slightly against the bed, he watched as she lay there, her body unmoving but for the gentle rise and fall of her chest. "Do you remember when I hated you, Ellis?" Derek whispered. "The day that I stepped into that hospital… was the day that I first had that thought… the way that you took control… the way that you thought that you knew everything and everyone else was below you… was your servant… was dirt… compared to you… I'm sure you remember that… it's the way that you carry yourself every day… Hard, tough… strong and resilient… even now, I bet inside your head, your tongue is still as sharp as a ginsu knife…" Derek said softly as he took her hand in his.

"I remember when I started at the hospital… how you rode us like a madwoman with a match chasing a tricycle doused in gasoline… there's a picture…" Derek chuckled. "But I know that I didn't always act like I respected you… especially after my father died… I held you personally…" He swallowed hard. "I held you personally responsible for taking the time away from my family that I thought that I deserved… and I know… now… that it was selfish of me to think that, Ellis… It was selfish to think that you wanted nothing more for me than to make me the best…" He said softly.

"I remember when I met Meri… Ellis… I remember that first Christmas…lying under the Christmas tree with her… as she told me her woes… told me her sadness… I remember that…" He whispered.

The two of them lay beneath the Christmas tree for quite a while, their silent conversation ringing throughout the room as they tried to push aside the butterflies in both of their stomachs.

I'm holding hands with a strange man. Why would I hold hands with a strange man? Well… he seems sincere, polite. He's still a stranger.

Meredith began to withdraw her hand slowly, feeling his fingertips envelop her hand further. His head turned and she could tell that he was looking at her.

"I'll listen to your story, but your hand needs to stay there." He said softly. "Sometimes there are parts of the story that can't be told out loud, but only through body language. I want to make sure I catch everything." He said softly.

He's smooth.

"Okay." She whispered. Her voice was small and nervous, though a quick glance to her side, she could see a mischievous smile. The same one that he had held when she walked downstairs and he had surprised her. "My story." She sighed, turning her face to the tree once again. "I have never had a Christmas even remotely as magical as the one that I witnessed today with your family." She whispered. "My Christmases were usually spent alone… maybe not alone, but with a family friend watching me… bringing me along with their family for their traditions and whatnot." She sighed. She turned her head to face him again. "My mother… is a very busy woman." She shook her head. "It's an awful excuse… to be too busy for Christmas… to be… to busy for your own child on Christmas. I mean… most people in her profession are able to find time for their families… their husbands, their children… but not my mother… her job is her life… it was and it still is, and it always will be. My parents divorced when I was five years old… so any semblance of Christmas before that… I don't even remember. But after that… it was just a day like any other day… I never met Santa… never had the joy of peeking from the top of the stairs to listen for reindeer… or that magical sound of bells… Did you ever notice how magical those jingle bells sound?" She asked, her eye sincere as she watched his eyes.

"I do." He whispered, nodding his head softly as he listened intently. She could feel his thumb softly rubbing the side of her hand, and although it was starting to rise a heat in her like she had never felt before, she refused to move. It was a comforting feeling, a soft delicate thumb softly running across her skin. She could feel her face flushing as she lie there, and was thankful for the darkness of the room.

"I felt for her that night… you know? I… really felt connected to her… the way she spoke of her sad Christmases… I was so upset with this 'mother' that she spoke of, this nameless, faceless character who was cold hearted and mean enough to deny her child a proper Christmas… to deny her that happiness…" Derek sighed. "We bonded… and grew closer… and… and I'll never… ever forget finding out who this mother was… who her mother was… I don't think we ever told you my reaction…" Derek chuckled. "You'll appreciate this story…" Derek laughed as he squeezed her hand. "I had just gotten her onto the ice… her first time ice skating…" Derek began.

"So are you going to taunt me?" Meredith asked, watching as he just looked from her feet to her eyes slowly.

"No." He said with a smile. "I would never…Are you ready?" He asked.

"Ready?" She asked. "I thought I was doing it." Meredith teased with a laugh.

"Here… take my hand." He said, holding his hand out to her. She reached forward and grasped it tightly, her other hand firmly on the side. "Now give me your other hand." He said as he held his other hand to her. She gave him a suspicious look and after a moment, reached her hand to him. "I'll… go backwards… you go forwards…"

"How do I… go…?" She asked.

"See the little ridges at the front of your skate… push off those…"

"Oh…" She whispered as she stood there, holding his hands for a moment.

"Don't stare at your feet." He smiled. "Look at me."

"You."

"Mm…. hmm… me… just watch me…"

"Awfully vain of you, Derek." Meredith giggled as Derek pushed back a little, taking her with him slowly.

"What can I say?" He asked with a small laugh. "I like to look good…" He said, watching her blush a little, his smile so bright that his eyes narrowed slightly, the colors of the Christmas tree above them shining down brightly. "Watch my eyes…" He whispered softly as he pushed back a little more, gliding them softly across the ice.

"I'm doing it." She whispered.

"You are…" Derek smiled.

"I'm ice skating…" She laughed.

"You're ice skating." He said, feeling her feet move in front of him as he glided them along. The children and his sisters and brother in laws were all skating quickly past him, but the only thing that he could see was the beautiful eyes staring straight into him. He suddenly felt warm all over, and his winter coat was making him sweat. His hands were warm under the gloves, only to be multiplied by the tight grip that she had on them. "Tell me something about you." He whispered.

"Something about me?" She asked.

"Yeah… what is… your favorite color?" He asked, pulling her along on skates. "Keep our minds off the skating…" He smiled.

"My… favorite color is… purple…" She smiled.

"Mm… purple." He smiled.

"Yep."

"You're from Boston?" He asked.

"Yep…" She replied with a grin. "Actually, Seattle… but I grew up in Boston."

"I work in Boston." Derek said softly.

"You do…" She grinned. "That's a coincidence…"

"My mother is chief of surgery at Boston General." Meredith said, and watched as Derek's face went pale, his eyes widened. "Derek?"

"Your mother is…"

"Ellis Grey…" Meredith said, watching as suddenly, Derek lost his footing, flailing his arm, he flew backwards, grabbing her, he fell flat on his back onto the ice, smacking his head, Meredith following behind, landing on top of him. "Derek!" She exclaimed, feeling the rush of people coming to check on him.

"By the way… I was fine… thank you for asking…" Derek said solemnly as he watched Ellis for several seconds before continuing. "It gave me a perfect excuse to kiss her, by the way… so thanks for that…" Derek nodded. "That's right… I knew she was your daughter, and I still kissed her… I live to defy you, Ellis…" Derek chuckled as he sighed sadly, watching her lie there motionless. "My point is… that I always… always gave you the benefit of the doubt, Ellis… even when I hated you, I trusted you. I trusted that there was a reason for raising Meredith that way, and I trusted that there was a reason you put me through the wringer when I was dating Meredith…" Derek sighed, pausing for several moments as he held her hand.

"Ellis…" He said softly. "Ellis… it's been six days… you were supposed to be awake days ago…" Derek whimpered. "I…I am seriously… I am seriously at my wit's end… I can't even leave your room… Meri can't even come into your room… and the boys… they just want to sit in here and hold your hand, Ellis. They want you to be the boss again…" he sighed.

"Why did you have to give me this?" He asked, bobbing the envelope in his hand back and forth. "Why… the hell would you give me something like this…? You're not going to die, Ellis… You're not going to die… because I'm not going to let you… I'm going to sit here and tell you annoying stories until you wake up and slap me… telling me to shut up." Derek sighed. "You can't give up, Ellis… you have brain activity… I mean… you're probably just lying there thinking about how you came up with a cure for brain cancer but you're not going to tell anyone because then you wouldn't be needed anymore… Ellis… wake up…" Derek said desperately. "It's time to wake up…" He sighed.

He sat in silence, dropping her hand from his, he held the envelope in his hand and flipped it around. "There's probably not anything in here… you probably gave me a blank envelope…" Derek rolled his eyes, teasing. He flipped the envelope in his hand again, running his finger along the neatly scrolled text of his name on the front.

"You wrote this letter for a reason… most likely to taunt me…" He sighed. "That's what I love about you, Ellis Grey… the challenges you provide…" He sighed. "You're clever, witty, brilliant and perfect… and you know it… and I'm sure that this letter is nothing less than an exquisite example of that. I know you expect me to read this… no matter the outcome…and I wouldn't be surprised if it said 'this message will self destruct in five seconds'. " He chuckled. "Ellis… What do you want from me?" Derek whispered softly. "What am I to you? Guide me…" He whispered as he lay the envelope beside her hand, and stare at it silently as he listened to the gentle rise and fall of her breathing..

He sat there for hours, staring at the woman lying on the bed. Her chest rose and fell with each gentle breath, and her body remained still as he sat back in his chair and held the letter in his hand as he flipped it around in his fingers again.

"I can hear you daring me to open this, Ellis…" Derek whispered. "That snotty little know it all voice of yours… telling me… daring me to open it… challenging me even now…" He shook his head. "And I know what you're thinking… you know… that if I open the letter… that you get that free ticket to cloud nine…maybe you'd go to hell though… I'm sure you get to pick… both have deluxe accommodations, I'm sure…" Derek sighed.

"I don't want to open the letter, Ellis. I don't want to open it… and I'm not going to open it…" He sighed as he watched her rest. "You know I'm going to open it, don't you? You're an evil, evil woman…" Derek sighed as he smiled slightly. "I'm sure you already know that though. You've always been the boss." Derek sighed as he tilted his head back and stared at the ceiling.

"Ellis…" Derek sighed. He stared at the envelope for a few more seconds as he let his finger slip below the flap. "I want to hate you for doing this to me…" He whispered as he shook his head and ran his finger along the letter, carefully detaching the flap from the rest of the envelope. He tucked his finger into the envelope and swallowed hard. "But you know that I can't."

He very slowly pulled the letter from the confines of the envelope, immediately recognizing the cool, calm lettering of his mother in law, the way her words just scrolled together perfectly rounded and all at the exact same angle. He very gently unfolded the paper as he looked up at her. "You win." He whispered.

Derek.

The letter started with just that simple word, and he could practically hear her speaking in his mind. The way his name slipped off her tongue delicately was nearly as breathtaking as the way her daughter spoke it. It held depth and breadth and it is known by just the tone of her voice, that everything after that word is serious business.

If you are finding yourself reading this letter, Derek, it means that I have passed away. Well, it actually means that either I passed away, or you found the letter in my coat pocket and felt obligated to open it regardless, simply because your name was on the envelope. The envelope said you must wait, Doctor Shepherd. Didn't your mother teach you to follow directions?

He chuckled at her scolding, smiling softly at the paper he thought about how only Ellis Grey had the ability to lecture him in her writing. He could just see the gentle smirk on her face when she wrote those lines, imagining the smirk on his when he read them. It was just so very Ellis. He swallowed hard and continued reading, finding himself completely enraptured by her words.

Derek. As I write this letter right now, I want you to know that I am happy. I am sitting in the bed of the bedroom of which I started my journey into the world of medicine. I was married. I had a newborn girl, of which I loved and cherished from the moment she was placed in my arms, and I had the world at my feet. I battled my way through love, loss, divorce and regret. I have raised my child to be a strong, independent, truthful, intelligent, caring young woman. I watched her grow from a shy, innocent young girl to a rebellious teenager, to an independent young woman, to become a wife, a mother, and finally, to have her see me as a friend.

I wish that I had the ability to take the credit for what she has become to me in my life. I wish that I could take the credit for the sparkle in her eyes, or the faith that she has in herself and in her family. I am much smarter than that, Derek. I am not a fool. You did this, Derek Shepherd, and don't you dare for a moment insult me and tell me that I'm wrong. I'm dead… or not dead, or something… it doesn't matter what I am, or was right now. What matters is that you were there for her, you are there for her, and you will always be there for her. That is one of the many reasons that I thought that I could do this, Derek.

I thought that it was going to be simple. I thought that I could come here to Seattle and talk with Richard, talk to Thatcher, straighten things out here. I thought that I could shield Meredith from the pain and hatred and awful anger that I had been surrounded by here. I thought I could protect her once again. I thought that I needed to keep her from knowing who her father was, is. I thought that I could settle everything here in Seattle, and die peacefully in my sleep knowing that this was how it was, and I had no regrets.

You make nothing easy for me, Derek Shepherd. You have pushed and prodded and poked into every thought in my mind. You have gone to such great lengths to prove that you love me, that you love your family and that you need me in it. One might even say that it has bordered on torture, Derek. I can see you smiling, wherever I am. You think you're so damn clever, and I must admit, some of the things you have said to me since you found out have really touched me. I know that you love me, Derek. I know that you care about me, and I know that you want nothing more than for me to prove that it is reciprocated. You take personal offense in the fact that I will not save myself, and you took it so far as to bring my Meredith into all of this.

I should hate you, or be angry that you pushed her into coming to Seattle. I should be upset at the pushing and the prodding and the frustration that you have been causing me, making this decision harder for me. When in reality, I should be thanking you, Derek. You brought her here not for you, though I could tell that you were aching inside just to see her. You brought her here for me, for her. You brought her here because you knew that I couldn't let her see me die. I didn't want to see that pitied look on her face, I couldn't bear to see the look of betrayal in her eyes when she stared into mine.

Meredith has left my room, which was why I decided to write this now. She came into my room with the two little princes. We read stories and talked and cuddled, and I can honestly say that it felt good. It felt good to have them near, to hear their voices, to feel the warmth of family around. It made me feel brave, confident and angry at myself, Derek, for doing this to my family. I am sitting here now on my bed beside my Richard and my Greyson, and I feel complete. I feel complete in a way that throws every feeling about dying out the window, and now all I feel is regret. I can't help but think…I can't die, Derek. I have too much to live for, too much that I missed because I was too busy being the best surgeon, that I haven't even begun to be the best grandmother.

I didn't die because of you, Derek. Whether you had a hand in the surgery or not, I didn't die because of you. I died because of me. Trust me. I'm the boss, I know these things.

Love Always, if not stubbornly,

Mom.

Derek hadn't even noticed by the time he had finished the letter that tears were rolling down his cheeks. He hadn't even noticed the small hiccups that he gasped as he tried desperately to catch his breath as he sit alone beside the bed reading her words over and over again, his hand never leaving hers as he sat in an uninterrupted cradle of silence and peace.

The door to the hospital room opened slowly and a head peeked inside, followed by another. Mark held his finger to his lips as he faced the little boy, who nodded as they looked over at the bed. It was morning, and the nurses had been in to check on Ellis and take her vitals, and Derek had yet to move. He was sitting in a chair, slumped uncomfortably over the bed with his hand planted firmly in Ellis'. The bed was strewn with playing cards, and he held in his hand a half crumpled piece of paper, being held to his chest as his snore rattled softly against the bed sheets.

"Daddy's sleeping." Richie whispered softly into Mark's ear.

"He is." Mark chuckled quietly as he stepped farther into the room, listening to its soft click as it closed behind him.

"Should we wake him up?" Richie whispered back.

"Maybe we should…" Mark whispered back as he carried the little boy around the bed, panning their eyes carefully over the scene that played out before them. Derek's head lay upon the mattress, his face pressed into the sheets as his eyes twitched in a dream. His breathing was steady and relaxed, his hair was sticking straight up.

"He's so sleepy…" Richie said softly. "Mommy says he's cute when he sleeps…"

"Absolutely adorable." Mark teased as he tickled the little boy, who giggled out loud. He squealed and Derek's head lifted up, his eyes cloudy with sleep.

"Good morning, Daddy." Richie said with a laugh.

"Good morning, Daddy…" Mark said with a smirk as Derek reached up and ran his hands through his hair as he yawned.

"Good morning…" He squinted as he tried to figure out where he was. He looked down at his hand and found it intertwined in Ellis', the letter sitting in his other hand as he looked up at Mark and his son. "What are you guys doing here?" He mumbled as he cleared his throat, coughing as he looked over the bed at the two of them.

"Gambling, Derek?" Mark asked as he picked up a playing card and flicked it across at the yawning man.

"We were playing go fish…" He shrugged.

"How's her game?"

"She stinks…" Derek muttered as he shook his head.

"You alright?" Mark asked, watching Derek as he carefully folded the piece of paper in his hand and slide it into the envelope. "You read the…"

"Yes." Derek said quickly. "If she didn't want me to read it, she would have left it at the house." Derek pointed, watching Mark nod.

"You're just nosy…" Mark chuckled as he set the little boy down onto the bed. He crawled up and sat beside Ellis, taking her hand in his as he leaned down and kissed her cheek.

"Good morning, GG." He whispered gently as Derek and Mark nodded. Derek turned away from the bed, and Mark walked around the bed to face Derek as they let Richie have some quiet time with Ellis. Since the ventilator had been removed, the little boy liked sitting beside his grandmother quietly whispering stories to her as she rest there. It calmed him down, and he would tell Meredith and Derek that he could tell that she was getting better.

Richie watched his father and Mark for a few minutes as Mark crouched before Derek. He watched his father talk in a low voice as he shook his head, his hands trembling as he talked quickly to Mark. Mark seemed to be soothing him, and Richie couldn't tell, but he thought that his father was crying. He looked down at Ellis and leaned down to kiss her cheek again. "I love you, GG." He whispered softly.

"I love you, my little prince…" Ellis' voice was as soft as the wind, her hand moving slightly as Richie nearly gasped. "Shh…" She whispered, her eyes opening for a moment as she winked her eye at him, a surprised and elated smile across his face as he looked up at his father and Mark and back down to Ellis, who had relaxed her hand and closed her eyes once again as the soft sound of her grandson's giggle drifted through the air.

Derek looked up at his son's giggle, the sound also grabbing Mark's attention as he stood up. "What are you giggling about over there?" Mark asked teasingly, watching the boy's face go completely blank, his smile disappearing immediately.

"Nothing…" He said innocently as his eyes moved to Ellis and back to the two men. "I was…"

"Were you telling GG a joke?" Derek asked as he stood up and walked toward the bed.

"Uh… Yes!" He exclaimed.

"What was the joke?" Mark asked as he watched the little boy glance between the two of them nervously, they couldn't tell what he was thinking, but their stares were starting to make him nervous about keeping Ellis' secret. Neither had seen Ellis move, or heard her whisper, so he was at quite an advantage, and tried to handle the situation as best as he could.

"Um…What's… um… the difference between God and a brain surgeon?" He asked, tilting his head at Mark and Derek as they looked at him puzzled, watching the smile creep across the little boy's face as he looked down at his grandmother as she reached up and grabbed his hand into hers.

"God… doesn't think … that he is a brain surgeon…" Ellis whispered loudly, her eyes opening slowly as she turned her head to face the two slack jawed men.

"GG taught me that joke!" Richie said excitedly as he watched them continue to just stare at Ellis. "Wanna hear another one?" He asked as Ellis turned her head slightly, her eyes moving to him as she tugged his hand a little.

"Give… them a minute… sweetheart…" She whispered raspily. "I don't think… they have… recovered from the last… one yet…" She said as she held her hand toward Derek.

"Good morning, GG." Richie said as he leaned forward and kissed her cheek.

"Good morning, babe…" She whispered.

"You've been sleeping for a long time." He nodded as he watched Mark and Derek still struggle to move or find words, or speak.

"Ellis." Derek croaked.

"Doctor Shepherd." She whispered. "You… look… like crap…"

"So do you." Derek croaked out. "Where the hell have you been?" He asked, elbowing Mark, who stopped staring.

"Doctor Grey." Mark said with a half smirk. "You're alive…"

"Thank you… for… reaffirming that for me… Doc…Doctor Sloan." She struggled as she cringed slightly from the achy feeling in her body. "I… thought I had died… and gone to heaven… when…I saw… Richard here…" She mumbled. "Then I heard your… voice… and knew that… it wasn't true…" She said, closing her eyes.

"I'm going to go get Meredith…" Mark said suddenly as he leaned forward and kissed Ellis on the cheek. "Welcome back, chief…" He said with a grin as he turned and ran from the room.

"Derek…" Ellis whispered, watching him continue to stare at her in disbelief. "Derek…?" She whispered again, gaining no response from him yet.

"Daddy… GG is talking to you…" Richie said softly, watching his father's eyes fill with tears as he just watched his grandmother. "Daddy?"

"Richard…" Ellis whispered. "Can you… ask the nurse… for some ice chips for… GG, please?"

"Okay…" Richie said as he slid from the bed, hopping to the floor, he ran around the bed to his father and pulled on his arm. "Go see GG, Daddy. I bet she missed you too." He said quickly before he ran to the door to find a nurse.

Derek stepped forward as he grabbed his chair suddenly and moved it up to the bed, he sat down and began to quickly gather the playing cards from her bed, he tried to figure out what to say, busying himself with the cards, he suddenly felt her hand on his arm. "Derek…" She whispered.

"I…I..." He swallowed hard as he stopped.

"Can I tell you… something?" She whispered, pulling his arm, he put the cards down and moved in closer. He reached for her hand and took it tenderly as he leaned his head to the side and listened to her words come out slowly, mumbled and sometimes disconnected. "I…did… see the light, Derek…I saw… the end coming. I had a dream that I was standing at the pearly gates of heaven… and asked me if… I had any regrets. I said no. I had apologized…I had repented, I had come to terms… with it all… and he told me…that the only thing worse than anything that I had ever done… to anyone in… my past… would be… to die on that… table… your table…Derek." She whispered. "I couldn't… do that to you… Derek… I love you too much." She whispered.

Derek swallowed hard as he carefully stood up over her bed. He leaned down carefully and kissed her cheek, reaching his arm to embrace her in the best way possible without hurting her. "I love you too, Mom." He whispered delicately into her ear as he kissed her cheek again. "Please…live forever…" He whimpered as he began to cry against her, her hand gently rubbing across his back as he let the stress drain from his body as he cry.

Meredith was feeling exhausted. She lay on the couch staring at the ceiling while the world seemed to be moving quickly around her. "Mama… please come play…" Greyson whispered as he reached for her hand.

"Where's Aunt Crissy?" She whispered, her eyes half filled with tears as they had been for the past six days.

"She… I don't know." He shrugged.

Suddenly, the door burst open, sending Meredith and Greyson jumping as Mark burst into the room. "Meredith!" He exclaimed, completely out of breath as if he had run a marathon. There was a grin on his face and he couldn't speak, but she watched the look in his eyes and sat up.

"Mark?"

The door to the kitchen opened and Cristina stepped out. "Mark!" She scolded.

"UNCLE MARK!" Greyson exclaimed as he ran toward him, and was scooped up.

"Get… up… hospital… get… Ellis lets…"

"Enunciate!" Cristina exclaimed.

"Ellis is awake!" he exclaimed as he ran toward the couch and reached his hand out to Meredith. "She's awake and talking… we have to go…"

"She's…"

"She's awake… come on!"

"YAY! YAY! YAY!" Greyson squealed as he threw his arms in the air and squealed in delight as he was whisked away to the car, with Cristina and Meredith behind him.

Derek sobbed into Ellis' arms for a long time, his body trembling as she held him. The door opened and a nurse walked in with Richard, holding a cup of ice chips. "Ms. Grey…" The nurse said softly as she watched the man holding the older woman, absolutely distraught.

"GG, we brought you your ice chips..." Richard said as his eyes widened in surprise. "Daddy…" he said as he rushed to the side of the bed.

"Daddy… is just… happy…" Ellis explained as she continued to rub Derek's arm with her hand. "It's okay…"

"Happy? Daddy's crying… you can't cry when you're happy…" Richie sighed, tears starting to roll down his eyes as he sniffled.

"Oh… yes… yes you can…" She said with a smile as she held her hand out for Richie. She looked up at the nurse and gave her a grateful smile as she held her cup of ice chips as Richie climbed up onto the bed and cuddled with her, tears running down his face. "Thank you…" She whispered as she held the two boys.

"Do you need anything else?" She whispered. "Your doctor will be in soon… we'll page him…"

"This… is my doctor…" Ellis whispered, nodding toward Derek as he continued to cry. "Even… the strongest need… a break sometime…" She said softly as the nurse nodded politely and left them together.

Derek's tears finally slowed, his mind was finally able to catch up with his emotions as he pulled himself away from Ellis. "I'm so mad at you…" He whispered into Ellis as he shook his head against her shoulder.

"Hey… I needed… to catch… up on… my sleep." She whispered.

"Six days, Ellis."

"I was out… for six days?"

"Six days…" Derek whispered.

"It was torture!" Richie exclaimed, feeling his grandmother pull him even closer to her.

"I read the letter." Derek said as he pushed himself away from her and looked into her eyes. "Why would you do that to me?"

"Write you… a letter?"

"Yes." He sighed. "Why wouldn't you write a letter to Meredith… to your grandchildren… why me? Why did you have it with you? Why would you carry that with you?"

"Derek." She turned her head as she watched him. She could see the worn and torn look in his eyes, the bags beneath them. She looked at the stubble on his face, the way he looked so absolutely exhausted, so broken, so distraught. "I…I did write Meredith a letter, Derek." She said watching him. "But it wasn't time… for her… to read… it." She whispered. "You… needed to read that… it was for now… I knew…"

"You knew that I wouldn't wait."

"I knew that I wasn't going… to die…"

"You said you were scared."

"I was…"

"But… if you…"

"I was scared… of being wrong… Derek."

Suddenly, the door burst open and Meredith came running into the room. "You're awake…" She said, her face looked exhausted, a brilliant smile across her face as the door opened again and Mark stepped in with Greyson, followed by Cristina.

"GG! I MISSED YOU!" Greyson exclaimed excitedly.

Ellis smiled as she watched the little boy wiggle in Mark's arms and finally be released as he ran to his grandmother's bedside and climbed onto the chair.

"Be careful… be careful…" Meredith said as she stepped forward to help her eager little boy make his way onto the bed. "Be careful… you don't want to hurt GG." She whispered as she stepped up to the bed too and looked down at her mother as Derek climbed from the bed and reached for her hand, taking it in his. "How are you feeling, Mom? We missed you." She whispered.

"I feel like…I could live… another three hundred… years…" She said with a half laugh as she winked at Derek as he started to laugh.

The end...