There were things Blair would never know. Of that Chuck was sure but that doesn't make them any less true. She was his secret from the start. An undecided number of one-shots depicting events in Blair's life being orchestrated by an unlikely source.

Chuck leaned against the bar of Serena van der Woodsen's spacious apartment. Her mother had gotten it so she could be closer to school while she was off in Florence with her third husband.

Serena was already wasted. Her blonde hair wilder than usual and she was moving with total lack of grace to some new and obnoxious dance song. She looked a mess but it didn't matter because Nate was watching her, mesmerized. Blair at his side, her eyes unfocused.

He knew at that moment there was nothing Nate wanted more in the world than Serena. And Blair had no idea.

He felt conflicted. Nate was his best friend. But he knew the power lust had. How destructive that one little emotion was. How powerful it was. How it could reduce the strongest people.

He closed his eyes. It had destroyed his mother.

Would it destroy Blair?

you say you wanted a solution, you just wanted to be missed.

They had been kicked out of the club for under age drinking. He tried to pay them off but apparently a liquor license was worth more in Manhattan than his trust fund. Serena suggested going back to her place and continuing the party.

She laughed and said she'd be drinking till morning anyways; she might as well be doing it with friends. With her mother away there was nothing holding her back. She liked to think she didn't live by anyone's rules. Really they were all she wanted.

He watched Serena for a moment again. She moved seductively for her non existent audience. Self confidence is what she claimed it was. He knew it was insecurity.

His attention turned to Blair. She hadn't drank much and complained her dress felt tight. Every drink she bought went to Serena, which may have explained Serena's current state.

He watched her sit there stiffly. Her shoulders straight and her legs crossed. She looked so contorted and confined. Almost unable to breath.

It seemed impossible to occupy as little space as Blair had managed to. She disappeared on that couch with Nate.

To disappear to appear, what a contradiction Chuck thought.

Appearance was everything to Blair. She wanted to look the part and as hard as she tried, Serena seemed to fit it better. Everything fit her wrong.

Her life felt too big, she had mumbled once, long ago. Before she gave up alcohol because of its calories. Though she claimed it was because of the unrestrained behavior.

He believed it to a degree. If there was one thing Blair needed it was control.

Especially when it was so easy for everything to be out of control.

He wondered if Nate noticed. Most likely not. As per their recent conversations the only thing that Nate had noticed was how long Serena's legs had gotten.

"A drink Waldorf?"

She looked shaken, as though brought back from some distant place. She was never really there.

"No. I'm fine."

She ran a hand across her flat stomach. So unconscious at this point he was sure she thought no one had noticed. She had almost forgotten herself.

She looped her arm around Nate's who seemed not to notice. Instead he stood up, shaking Blair off his arm.

He looked constrained by her. Like she was constrained by the world.

Chuck stared at her for a moment but she avoided his eyes.

What was she thinking she was hiding?

"Let's do shots. Come on Chuck," he looked at Blair finally, "Want one?"

She shook her head; she had regained the composure she had momentarily lost.

Nate turned to Serena and offered her a hand to get off the table.

She smiled widely and jumped off. Her heels discarded long a go and her dress traded in for one significantly shorter.

It would be a lie to say that Serena didn't enjoy the attention. She lived to put on a show.

Even if the show was only for her best friend's boyfriend.

Chuck had scratched Serena off his list long ago. He never slept with the same girl twice.

She stumbled and Nate steadied her.

Chuck turned to the bar and took out the shot glasses and grabbed the bottle of vodka.

He took a shot with his friends and turned to the couch.

Blair was gone. The tiny space she had occupied empty.

He knew where she was. He wished Nate did too but he was so clueless.

He thought it might go on forever. How could no one notice her disappearing?

He would never call himself responsible but in this group he found himself often standing back and looking in on everyone's self destructive behavior.

Nate wanted to be anything but what his father wanted. He'd find success somewhere else but at the cost of his father's love. He'd forever regret the tie he severed but he'd live.

Serena drank too much. She'd eventually drink too much and sleep with the wrong person. She may loose a friendship but she'd escape with her life.

Blair. She was different. She was secretive and quiet. She stood gracefully in the background so that no one would notice her absence. But he knew her self destructive behavior would cause her death if no one took notice.

And thus far no one had. And he was sure no one else would.

Serena stumbled to the couch. Laughing incoherently, she was done for the night.

He grabbed Nate roughly by the sleeve.

He could be her secret keeper no longer. He refused to let her become his self destructive behavior.

He gave his trademark smirk, "I saw Blair go towards the bathroom. Serena's about to pass out on the couch you might as well make use of the circumstances," he placed a firm hand at the back of Nate's neck, "Its time to become a man my dear boy."

He winked and passed Nate a condom.

Nate looked confused for a moment. Disappointed that the party was over but he quickly caught on and smiled.

"Thanks man."

He gave on last lustful glance towards Serena and headed towards the bedroom.

Chuck felt relief spread through his body. She would get help. She would keep her pride and she would get help.

He took another shot.

He had only wished he could have been there to help her along the way.

Chuck left before he heard her Blair shouting. He didn't want to lie to her when she would casually ask what he had heard.

you are so fragile and thin, standing trial for your sins
holding on to yourself the best you can

I've been racking my brain for a story idea for Chcuk and Blair, so here it is: one-shots detaling how Chuck has always played an important part in things Blair thought he had no idea or control over. Just a little background into who Chuck/Blair really are to each other. I'm open to suggestions of what Chuck may have influenced thus far in their relationship.

Thank you for reading and please leave a review if you can. It'll make the sun shine a little brighter (I swear).

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