A lowly collection of fifty little one-shots based around the "unusual" ship of Kutner/"Thirteen" all written for a 50 ships claim

Title: Bitch, Please
Prompt: Bitch, Please.
Word Count: 250
Pairing: Kutner + Thirteen friendship
Summary: Kutner and Thirteen discuss a real bitch.

They both watched Amber walk into the hospital, looking around for Wilson. She had a bag of something in her hand, probably lunch, probably from some fast food joint. They knew Amber didn't cook, without asking.

"So you'd really like to date that?"

"I wouldn't say no."

"House is right. She has no soul."

He rolled his eyes. "You say that. But you think what I think. I know you do."

"And what do you think?" she asked, turning pale eyes on him skeptically.

"You know what I think."

"It changes everyday."

"Think about it. Those legs. Naked. Sprawled ou-"

"Okay. Okay. Stop."

He grinned victoriously. "You're blushing."

"Because that's totally mortifying to hear!"

"No. Because you agree."

"Bitch, please," she said sarcastically, crossing her arms.

"Don't call me a bitch," he muttered.

"Hey, what are you guys talking about?" Amber said, approaching Kutner and Thirteen, looking curious.

They both avoided her gaze, and each other's, which involved both of them turning their heads about ninety degrees to the opposite side.

"Nothing really. How are you doing?" Kutner said evasively.

"Fine," she said suspiciously. "But I have to get back to work. Bye," she said, turning and leaving the hospital.

"This is why you shouldn't bring up people while they're in the hospital, wait until they leave," Kutner told Thirteen.

"So now it's my fault? You were fantasizing about her in the middle of the hospital!"

"No I wasn't."