Gangsta Genius.
I have no idea what chapter number this is, so I'm just going to start writing without a long intro/authoress babble.
Woo.
--
Mikami is a pimp.
Yes, it's true.
I saw him in his outfit.
"WHOA! Mikami! What are you wearing?!"
"Hey. It's Mika now. I'm a pimp."
"…o.O"
--
So now his name is Mika.
LAME.
--
I walked in on Mello and L having lemony goodness.
I was all, "WTF? You're stealing my man!"
And Mello was all, "I'll fight you for him!"
So we beat each other up with Stratocasters.
And L got a bloody nose.
Twas pwningness almighty.
--
Near is a very messed-up child.
"What color is your hair?"
"White, like the vanishing polar bears and the color of my nonexistent soul…"
"…Damn, you're emo."
"I try."
--
HAWT PWNAGE, Y3770W!!
--
So my dad was trying to become a gangsta, you know?
He shaved his mustache and started wearing dewrags.
It was SCARY.
"Yo, yo, what's up homey G?!"
"…"
"Hammer time!"
"…"
--
Rem has tentacle hair.
"I do NOT!"
"Yes, you do. Look at it. It's…tentacley."
"-sob- Why must you hurt me?!"
--
I cackled in a very gangster fashion.
--
OH EM GEE.
L is really a fugitive guitar-eater from Spain who likes piña coladas!
"No, I'm not."
"You're not?"
"No, I most certainly am not. I've never eaten a guitar in my life."
"But do you like piña coladas?"
"…Yes, actually."
--
"Pants."
"Pants?"
"Pants…"
"Pants!"
"WTF?!"
--
My favorite song right now is Ice Cream And Cake by the Buckwheat Boys.
It is so GANGSTA.
"Icecreamandcakedotheicecreamandcake!!"
"What are you singing, o spastic one?!"
--
WHAT?!
L called me spastic?!
This calls for…
"Boob."
"GYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!"
"U bin pwned, suckah!"
--
Misa is, like, so uncool.
Her pantyhose are all runny, and stuff…
Ick.
She's so gross.
She's got cooties.
Yeah, cooties.
"RAIIIIITTTOOOOO!!"
"Eep!"
--
The pimp formerly known as Mikami came into my house one day.
I was all, WTF?
And he was all, Hi, Kami.
And I was all, oh, yeah. You're Mikami.
And he was all, MIKA!
And I was all, okay, fine. Mika. What do you want?
And he was all, Lemony goodness, fo sho!
So we had lemony goodness and then I smacked him repeatedly with a hockey stick while singing a song called "Shoes."
--
"Mah spoon is too big!"
"…"
"Mah spoon is too BIG!"
"…"
"MAH spoon is too big!!"
"…"
"…"
"I am a baNANA!!"
"-blowdryer noise-."
--
Youtube is AMAZING.
You can find many informative videos on it.
You can also find a video of me trying to teach Matsuda how to swim.
I suck at swimming!
Who put that up there?!
--
"Light, you did try to teach me how to swim."
"LIES! LIES!"
"But you looked like a drowning cat."
"MORE LIES! MORE LIES!!"
"…-sweatdrop-."
--
I dared Mello to walk around all day with a bra on.
Matt got, like, sixty nosebleeds.
IT WAS HILARITY BEYOND DESCRIPTION.
--
Mah pants are mah thinking cap.
Ooooh snap.
RHYMAGE!
--
I watched Chris Crocker blink on Youtube.
I was amazed by the blinking pwnage.
"L, look at this."
"…Chris Crocker is blinking."
"I kno, right!?"
"…Stupid."
--
Transformers- Near's in disguise!
As what, you ask?
"…Would you just shut up?!"
"…No."
As a SHEEPY EMO THING!
"I'm not a thing."
"Well, I detest your guts severely."
"Ouch."
--
PWNED.
--
I need to buy a Shirley Temple costume so I can annoy elderly people by throwing pineapples at them.
But then Jerry the Christmas Cow will flying tackle me.
Hm…
Pineapples versus being tackled by a cow…
--
"OW! DAMN KIDS!!"
"Pineapples awaaaayyyy!!"
--
L is a gigantic unibrow.
"What?"
"You're a unibrow."
"I don't even have eyebrows! That makes no sense!!"
"So it would make sense if you had eyebrows?"
"NO!"
--
L's just in denial.
--
Takada is such an idiot.
I say that with the utmost respect.
Not.
Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ah, ah…yeah.
--
I lead an epic life, fo sho.
--
Epic?
No.
But certainly entertaining –smile-.
Please review, if you like yams and cabbage.
Not saying that you have to like cabbage to review. I personally think cabbage is beastly.
Read some other fics besides How To Torture Mello, okay?! PLEASE?!
Because now I can't write anything but that!
Oh, the hardships of being an authoress with mild webfame.
Very mild webfame, for that matter.
Woo.