Disclaimer: Don't own Kingdom Hearts, otherwise the storyline would have been very different... Don't own original Llama song either!

Note 1: More complete version also at deviant (refer to previous chapter). In my opinion, a thousands times more painful for Riku fans, but also a thousand times funnier with all the action and comments...

Note 2: Anything else I put in the first chapter...too lazy to type again...

Note 3: Anything that are in italics and quotations eg "word" are sound effects, not part of the lyrics...

The Riku Song

Here's a Riku,
There's a Riku,
And another racing Riku.
Lounging Riku,
Pond'ring Riku,
Riku, Riku,
Duck.

Riku, Riku,
Hard-work Riku.
Raft boat,
Paopu,
Big log,
Riku.
Riku, Riku— "Crackaboom!"
Stormy!
Riku,
Riku, Riku,
Duck.

Riku's Sora's best friend,
Both live somewhere…Here?...Oh!
So it must be destiny
That he's the anti-hero.
Though Squeenix made it quite clear…
Just look at that hair color!
Not to mention those green eyes,
Like that famous others—

Have you ever seen a Riku,
Standing in the ocean, Riku.
Tsunami's coming this way, Riku!
Riku, Riku,
Duck.

Fearless Riku,
Darkness Riku,
(Maleficent's baby Riku!)
No longer a "Riku" Riku,
Ansem Riku,
Duck.

So Riku joined the wrong side,
To be fighting on.
Just like dear old Anakin—

(Let's stick to Kingdom Hearts!)
Ansem's heartless possessed him,
in the heat of battle.
(And godammit, there was not Yaoi
Involved in that at all!)

Floating Riku.
Lost now Riku?
Need a doorway to light, Riku?
Mickey go and save him, Riku!
Riku, Mickey,
Chipmunks.

Riku, Riku
Chilly—"whack"
Riku…
Silent —"hack"
Zexi—"slash"
Copy—"crash"
Riku!!
…R-COM fans! "fangirl/boy screams"
Let's follow Riku! "Stampede"
Revenge is sweety!
Mouse.

Riku fought with Roxas,
'Cause Diz told him it'll help
His friend that's in that lotus thing—
But we know that it failed.
So Riku became Ansem,
And got through with his aim.
Now old Diz may go and laugh
In his great big shame.

Have you ever seen a Riku
Hide his face in hood now, Riku.
Leave 'em clues for Sora, Riku.
Riku, Riku…
Rock.

Ansem Riku,
Shameful Riku.
Trying to sneak away, Riku?
Kairi go and stop him! "Riku!"
Sora: "Wha-HOW?"
…Heart?

Riku later changed back
To his good old self.
Grown all hot and sexy—
(Leave that Yaoi to the shelf!)
He's even got a new wardrobe,
With some normal shoes!
But was that blindfold really
Necessary? …fine, you choose…

Riku's cuter! Sora's cuter!
RIKU'S CUTER! SORA'S CUTER!
DAMMIT, ROXAS IS THE CUTEST!
GET OUT, YOU GUYS! NOW!
"Heave heave heave heave…"
…Duck.

To be continued with "The Kairi Song"…