Title: Without You

Author: CordeliaHalliwell

Summary: A shooting at Seattle Grace leaves Addison Shepherd fighting for her life, but does she have anything left to fight for.

Disclaimer: If I owned Grey's Addison and Derek would still be together.

A.N: Ok so this is basically a what if, in this case what if Addison had gotten shot instead of Burke.

Bang, Bang

Bang! Doctors, patients, nurses, and orderlies jumped as a large crack reverberated throughout the E.R. from just outside. In rapid succession four more shots were heard.

Dr. Miranda Bailey ran into the center of the E.R. and asked, "What was that? Were those gunshots?" No one had time to answer as she rushed towards the exit.

A young man named Will whispered fearfully, "Petey…"

Miranda Bailey knelt first next to the obnoxious manager, Brad, and felt for a pulse, she found none. She then looked toward the second victim lying nearby. The first thing she noticed made her heart skip a beat. Red hair was fanned out beneath the victim's head; Dr. Addison Montgomery-Shepherd was unconscious and appeared to bleeding from three separate bullet wounds. In what seemed like an eternity but was really seconds Miranda was at Addison's side. She quickly tried to staunch the flow of blood and was horrified as she calculated the amount that had already seeped from Addison's wounds.

She spoke desperately, "Addison, Addie can you hear me?!" Addison's eyes remained closed.

"Dr. Bailey!" Miranda looked up and saw Dr. Preston Burke running towards her and Addison. He skidded to a stop and fell to his knees next to Addison, his hands moving to her neck, feeling for a pulse. He spoke, "Her pulse is weak and irregular; we need to get her into an O.R." Dr. Bailey nodded and helped lift Addison onto the stretcher an orderly had brought out. Both Doctors shot a fearful look at each other as they applied pressure and wheeled her into the E.R.

Dr. Bailey barked an order to a nurse standing near by, "Page Dr. Shepherd, the Chief, and my interns!" The nurse nodded and bolted towards the nearest phone.

The sound of beeping filled Denny Duquette's room and Dr. Izzie Stevens paused. The scissors that had been poised to cut the wire powering Denny's LVAD moved away as Izzie's hand went to her pager. George was staring at his pager in shock.

"A do-ctor has been sh-shot." His voice was shaking as he read the message. Izzie glanced at Denny who smiled.

"Go." His voice was gentle as was the push he gave Izzie towards the door. Together, with a glance back, Izzie and George walked out of the room.

Finn released Meredith just as her pager began to beep. She removed it from its holder and glanced at the screen, blinking at the message.

She looked up at Finn and said, "I have to go, there's been a shooting at the hospital." Finn nodded and moved out of her way. As she passed him she whispered, "Thank you." Finn smiled and watched as she left.

Dr. Cristina Yang removed her pager and read the message that had been sent. Her jaw dropped. She flung the needle she had been suturing with down and tore from the room leaving a man and his family to gape after her.

Richard Webber rubbed a hand over his face and sighed. As hard as he tried he couldn't get Addison's face out of his head. The woman he had known for years was so… broken. She was dieing slowly, letting her husband break her again and again, and Richard's heart broke for her. He had regretted his harsh words the moment she walked past him, her shoulders slumped in defeat. His thoughts were interrupted by the sound of his beeper. He thought briefly about ignoring it, but his years as chief won out over his personal exhaustion. He read the screen and narrowed his eyes. One of his doctors had been shot; a feeling of rage swept through him as he shot to his feet and rushed out of his office.

Alex Karev answered his cell phone and spoke, "Karev."

"Dr. Karev, you need to get back to the hospital immediately, I need you here for a surgery." Alex furrowed his brow in confusion.

"Dr. Burke I thought I was supposed to wait…"

"Karev! A doctor has been shot!" Alex's eyes widened.

"Who was it?" Alex wasn't sure he wanted to hear the answer.

"Addison Shepherd." Alex was surprised by the sick feeling that settled in the pit of his stomach. He had been right about not wanting to know.

"I'll be right there." He shut his cell phone and turned to the doctors staring at him expectantly. "The heart is yours." He slipped from the room, ignoring the yells coming from the shocked doctors he had left behind.

Derek Shepherd had heard his pager beeping but had chosen to ignore it. He wasn't on call and the neurosurgeon that was on call was more than capable. He stared at his wife's side of the bed and glared. He had taken her back, what more did she think she deserved. She had come to Seattle and ruined his happy life with Meredith; she should have just stayed away. He flopped down and shoved her pillow away. He hoped he would be asleep by the time she came home.

Bailey's interns were all gathered in near the nurses' station on the third floor except for Alex. Meredith had been the last to arrive. All the interns were curious as to who had been shot, but none of them knew. All of the nurses were taking in hushed voices and seemed very subdued. None of the interns felt comfortable asking who had been shot. Cristina opened her mouth to speak but was stalled as Alex Karev sprinted past them towards O.R. 3. The interns looked at each other and followed. Alex had already entered the scrub room by the time they caught up. They followed him inside and were surprised to see him rapidly scrubbing his hands. His gaze was directed inside the O.R. After his hands were clean he slapped a drape over himself and shoved on a pair of latex gloves. He charged into the O.R. and stood next to Burke.

The interns heard him say, "What can I do Dr. Burke?"

Burke answered, "Monitor her stats Dr. Karev, you see anything that indicates she's slipping and you tell us immediately."

"Yes sir." Alex's eyes were already trained on the monitor that showed the patient's stats. At the word 'us' the interns took stock of the doctors in the O.R. The Chief, Bailey, and Burke were all present and accounted for surprising all of Bailey's suck-ups.

"Oh God," At Izzie's gasp the others turned to look at her. Her eyes were fixed on the patient on the table. Her friends followed her gaze. Cristina's eye's widened, George's face went white, and Meredith's heart dropped. Addison Shepherd was on the table.

Bailey exited the O.R. and nearly tripped over her interns, who were all seated just outside. She was instantly bombarded with questions.

"How is she?!"

"Is she…?"

"She's ok right?!" She leveled a glare at the group and they instantly grew silent.

She spoke, "She is on life support to answer your questions; so no she is not ok." The four interns looked shocked. "Now where is Shepherd, we need to talk to him." The group looked at each other and shrugged. Bailey scowled and stomped toward the nearest phone and yanked it off the hook. She pressed buttons at a rapid pace and then slammed the phone down. She sagged against the nurses' station and put a hand over her face to prevent her charges from seeing her tears. From the looks of things Addison Shepherd was not going to make it till morning.

Bailey's interns entered the cafeteria and sat heavily in the chairs surrounding a table. Alex's eyes were blank, George was stuttering worse than usual, Cristina was silent, Izzie was whispering, and Meredith looked like she was going to be sick to her stomach.

"She's being sued for mal-practice because of me." Alex's voice was quiet, with a trace of shame the other doctors had never heard before. He jabbed at the food on his plate violently and scowled deeply. The other interns looked at him and then at each other, not sure what to say.

The doors to the cafeteria swung open and Derek Shepherd entered. He looked tired but not what you'd expect from a man on the verge of losing his wife. He went to the coffee cart and ordered a large cup of coffee. He turned as soon as the coffee was in his hands and walked right past Meredith and her friends.

"Derek," Derek paused and turned to face Meredith, "I'm sorry about Addison." The blank look on his face was replaced by a look of confusion.

"The fight?" He shrugged his shoulders and then turned away from the group.

Alex asked incredulously, "You don't know?!"

Derek sighed and tuned, "Know what Karev, I'm tired and I am not in the mood for games." The interns exchanged glances and Meredith stood.

She hesitated and then said, "Derek, didn't you get any pages last night?"

He shrugged again, "I ignored them, why?"

Meredith closed her eyes and took a deep breath, "That man who shot all those people yesterday, he showed up outside the hospital last night."

Derek's jaw dropped and he reached out a hand and placed it on Meredith's arm, his voice was concerned "Oh my God, was anyone hurt."

Meredith stepped back out of his reach as she pictured the look on Addison's face during their conversation yesterday, quietly she replied, "Yes." Derek's scanned Meredith and then her friends. A second later what Meredith had said about Addison registered.

"Where's my wife?" Derek felt his chest tighten as Meredith and her fellow interns looked down.

"She was shot Derek, three times." Meredith felt tears well as Derek looked at her. His eyes were wide, he looked stunned. She heard a crunch as Derek crushed the Styrofoam cup in his hand. She winced slightly; the coffee had to be burning his hand. "Derek, your hand," She reached out and pried the cup out of his grip.

"Is… did she…" Derek's eyes had filled with tears.

Meredith looked at her friends, at a loss and Izzie finally stood, "Dr. Shepherd, she… um, she's on life support." Derek looked at Meredith for conformation and as she nodded his knees seemed to buckle. Faster than anyone had ever seen him move, Alex lunged forward and caught Derek before he hit the ground.

"I… where is she." Christina and George rose from the table and as a group they led Derek out of the cafeteria.

The elevator ride was silent and when the group reached the ICU every nurse, orderly, intern, resident, and attending grew silent. Even the patients and their families seemed to sense something different about this group of doctors. The group came to a stop outside of Addison's private room. Derek remained frozen just outside for a second before he finally moved through the door. The interns followed quietly. Izzie had to stifle a gasp. Addison was pale, she had been intubated, and it looked as if she were hooked up to every machine in the hospital. Derek moved forward and reached out a shaking hand. He drew it away before it came into contact with his wife. His eyes darted over her still form and he was struck with a wave of nausea as he remembered that just last night he had wished her gone. He bolted from the room and reached the trashcan just outside. He threw himself over it and vomited. He stood and made his way back into the room.

"Derek…" Derek and the interns turned and saw the Chief standing in the doorway. He motioned for Derek to join him outside.

"Chief she…" Derek trailed off, he looked at the chief, hoping his mentor would provide some comfort.

As gently as he could Richard spoke, "Derek, it isn't good, her left lung is collapsed and she isn't breathing on her own," Derek shook his head in denial, "Derek, she coded twice on the table." Derek stepped back, reeling. Richard fought back tears as he continued, "She doesn't have much time left and as hard as it is for me to say this, Addie isn't fighting, so you need to call your family." The interns had known it was bad, but none of them had realized that Addison was so close to death. Derek nodded, and turned towards his wife's room. He pulled out a cell phone and punched a few numbers. He entered his wife's room and braced himself against the wall.

Whoever he called answered and Derek spoke in a strangled voice, "Mom, something's hap…" He trailed off as he looked at Addison, finally after about a minute he whispered, "Mommy, I…" He slid down the wall and buried his face in his hands.

Richard stepped forward and took the phone from his friend and held it to his ear, "Mrs. Shepherd, this is Richard Webber," He paused, "Yes Derek is physically fine but he called to tell you that Addison isn't." He held the phone away from his ear and then continued, "She was shot Mrs. Shepherd," He drew in a deep breath, "She doesn't have very long." He closed his eyes and then nodded to himself, "I'll tell him" He closed the phone, "Your mother and your sisters are on their way." Derek nodded and then he looked up.

In a quiet voice he asked, "Call Mark." The chief looked surprised. Derek stood up and he made his way to his wife's side. He reached out his hand again and this time he made contact. He brushed back his wife's hair and let his tears fall.

"The mind churns, the heart yearns. The tears dry without you, life goes on but I'm gone, 'cause I die without you."

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