In commemoration of the new series of Doctor Who, starting tonight at 6:20!

I've seen a couple of fanfics about Doctor Who meeting the Mighty Boosh, actually. I guess it's the "come with us now on a journey through time and space" in the opening titles of the Boosh. Anyway, I really wanted to have a go at writing for Vince and Howard and the Doctor really does offer up a lot of opportunities, I just couldn't resist. Constructive criticism is more than welcome.

This is set just after 2007's tacky Christmas episode, the Doctor's feeling all down in the dumps after seeing everyone but the history teacher die, as I'm sure anyone would be. I'd say he needs a good bit of surreal comedy to brighten up his day. :D

The Doctor sighed and slumped down in his seat. He was really beginning to hate Christmas; it seemed that alien invasions were determined to squeeze all of the jolly out of the season of good will.

And he always seemed to be at the epicentre of it.

Sitting up and turning to the console, he haphazardly changed the destination date to a month or so into 2008 and hesitated to enter the coordinates. Did he really want to go anywhere? Furrowing his brow slightly he spun on his chair, hitting the keypad at random as he did and stood up to start the TARDIS; completely unaware of his destination. The familiar whirr of the TARDIS' engine filled his ears as he dashed around the controls, pulling levers and pushing buttons with an unnecessary amount of force.

Suddenly he was flung backwards as the TARDIS jerked. He pushed himself up using the railings and widened his eyes at the centre pillar.

"I'm… sorry." He murmured, lowering his head apologetically as the machine seemed to sigh in response. "I guess all this drama's getting to me." He looked up again and then glanced at the door. He pulled on his long, brown coat and walked out of his ship, glancing back as he did so.

"What I need is some fun."

o o o o o

"I'm telling you Howard, a giant blue box just appeared outside the shop window!"

It was seventeen minutes past six. Howard Moon, after a successful stocktaking, was lounging on the settee, engrossed in a book about Neville Jiminy Jemmerson's excursions into the wilderness and was currently deep into a chapter depicting the trails he faced whilst surviving for eighty-two days in the Sahara desert, with only six saxophone reeds and a trombone case full of dead marmosets.

He glanced up beadily at Vince and replied wearily, "Stop distracting me, Vince."

"I'm not distracting you, Howard!" Vince replied exasperatedly, "There's a huge blue box with a blue light on the top of it right outside the shop!"

Irritated, Howard marked his place with a trumpet-shaped bookmark and sat up to face his perfect-haired companion, his already small eyes narrowed in a frown.

"Look, just stop it, alright, you keep doing this!"

"Doing what?"

"Making things up!"

"Like wh-"

"About quarter to six, you heard a… midget, falling into the kitchen cupboard."

Vince shrugged his shoulders, "Well that's what it sounded like."

"And what was it, actually?"

"A bag of sugar."

"Right; a bag of sugar falling from where you'd placed it on top of the Rice Crispies."

"Well it sounded like a midget, and I didn't think Naboo would be happy if he and Bollo came back from that Shaman Weekend and a midget had cleaned us out."

Howard rubbed his eyes with his thumb and forefinger, "Well, what about ten minutes ago, when you saw a figure falling downwards past window, but when we walked out there was no one to be seen; how do you explain that one?"

"I told you," Vince said, suddenly defensive, "He got buffeted in a thermal; he was floating about up there like a kind of beakless, long-legged seagull! I reckon he had flares on."

Howard rolled his eyes. "Right, and I'm Faiiiiiiiiiid the Juju wizard. You're just trying to get out of cleaning the shop, Vince; I know how your mind cogs work."

Vince opened his mouth to retort but was interrupted by the sound of the doorbell. The pair of them looked pointedly at the stairwell leading from the flat into the shop below.

Vince raised his eyebrows, "I didn't even know we had a doorbell."

o o o o o

The Doctor frowned slightly as he looked through the window of the Nabootique. Being chased out of the local Tesco Express by a loud American in a tight-fitting baby blue suit can shock even the most hardened of time travellers. All he had done was ask the man to be careful not to cause an injury to someone while he was – the Doctor guessed – dancing to iStand and deliver/i by Adam and the Ants and he had picked up the nearest chicken and began swinging it in the Doctor's face, screaming incoherently.

The Doctor had narrowly avoided being beaten with frozen poultry by hiding in the doorway of a boarded-up shop named Davidson's and waiting for the three Tesco employees to pass by; they were chasing the crazy American and his stolen meat. The Doctor realised the rundown shop was next to were had parked his TARDIS and looked at his ship questionably.

"Did you bring me here on purpose?" He walked around the police box and stood in front of the shop next door to Davidson's, he had noted it to be closed as he left the TARDIS earlier. "Or was it just my coordinates?"

He had scanned the front of the shop with curiosity and spotted a doorbell on the right-hand side of the doorframe. With a glance at his ship he pressed the button.

He waited for a few minutes and raised his hand to press the button again but stopped as he saw a pair of shapes walking down the stairs. One turned the light on and the Doctor could see a man and a woman; the man was dressed in corduroy slacks and a brown-patterned shirt, his wispy, brown hair covered with a trilby hat. The woman was in heeled silver boots, tight black trousers and a purple, floaty top with a matching scarf. He smiled and signalled them to let him in.

Vince looked the man at the window. He didn't look too bad, he had brown hair which flicked about at the front and was wearing a pinstriped suit with a red tie and a long brown overcoat. He sniggered.

"Hey Howard, here's someone who might be interested in your elbow patches."

"Shut it." Howard snapped and walked to the door where the suited man was grinning at him. "We're closed!" He mouthed and pointed to the sign.

The man just carried on smiling and clasped his hands together in a mock plea, making Vince laugh again.

"C'mon Howard, I can't see him stabbing us up or raping us or anything. He's in a pinstriped suit. And he's got a pretty decent hairstyle going on."

"Don't judge a book by its hairstyle, Vince." Howard preached, but turned back to the door all the same, curiosity getting the better of him.

"Alright." He mouthed and proceeded to unlock the door.

o o o o o

The Doctor smiled at the moustached man as he unlocked the door and stepped over the doorstep with a small bounce. He looked from the woman to the man and stuffed his hands into his pockets.

"How d'you do? I'm the Doctor."

The couple glanced at each other.

"The doctor of what?" The man asked apprehensively in a faintly Yorkshire accent.

"Are you a fashion doctor? Here to write an article on my new look?" The woman seemed more excited by his arrival than the man and spoke in a soft south London accent, slightly deeper than the Doctor had expected.

Smiling at them both again, the Doctor replied, "Oh, you know, this and that. Everything, pretty much."

The couple glanced at each other again.

"Like… a scientist?" The man raised an eyebrow.

"In a manner of speaking."

"What's your name?" The woman piped in.

"The Doctor."

Another glance.

"Just… 'The Doctor'? No surname or anything?"

"Nope, just 'The Doctor'. Capital 'D'."

"Howard Moon." The man suddenly held his hand out towards the Doctor, startling him slightly. "Man of action, Jazz Maverick, shop keeper."

"Pleasure to meet you, Howard." The Doctor shook his hand and turned to face the woman who grasped his hand immediately.

"Vince Noir, rock 'n' roll star and king crimper."

Embarrassment swept over the Doctor as he suddenly realised that the woman was in fact a man in very feminine clothing.

"So," Howard began from behind him, "What exactly is it that you're here for, Doctor?"

The Doctor felt another small wave of embarrassment as he realised the answer;

"I haven't a clue."

Howard and Vince shared yet another glance.

"And yet here you are, knocking on our door a whole fifty-three minutes after closing time."

He shrugged again, feeling sheepish. "I came here by accident but I think my shi-"

He froze mid-sentence, feeling a strange and unfamiliar form creeping up through his body as he went rigid. He could feel his senses beginning to numb as something forced itself up through his mouth and into the air around him.

So? Is it a good enough representation of both shows for you? I'll continue if fed with tasty review nourishment…