NOISE FROM DOWNSTAIRS

I don't understand how one person could be so inconsiderate of all others. Perhaps that's what makes us opposites in the first place. He's just so self absorbed all the time that it's hard to believe he has any type of grasp on reality. Can he really be real? Human? Though, here I go again, ranting about my stupid brother. I suppose I can't help it sometimes. Besides, he's downstairs right now having tea with Shigure, so it's rather hard to ignore. Maybe I'm being insensitive by hiding, but he didn't want anything to do with me before. Why would he suddenly change his mind? All Ayame really cares about is Ayame. Nothing will ever change that. I guess that's just the way it is, but I still wish his beautiful looks could add up to something more real than an egotistical, aggravating bastard.

Yuki gently sat his pencil down onto the table with every bit of care, as though the house would hear him if he dared to raise any sort of noise. With a sigh, he closed the small black book and set it back into his drawer, tucked back behind everything else where it belonged, both hidden and secret. He locked the drawer carefully before putting the key in his pajama pocket.

In a way, Yuki felt stupid for having a blank book for his thoughts, but he often felt it did help; at least this way, he could get his ideas down onto paper. Besides, it had been a good excuse to get away from his brother, who laughed so loud that it rang throughout the house. The snake had always been so obnoxious. He frowned softly; really, Yuki did wish he had that confidence, but at the same time, his brother just irritated him. Perhaps one could not have such a high self-esteem, while actually caring about the well being of others at the same time. Maybe that happened to be the terrible the tradeoff; Yuki couldn't say for sure.

To him, the equation just didn't make sense. The rat didn't understand how his brother could be so careless. Yet, he knew that Ayame could pull through for other people after a while. He had just never pulled through for Yuki, his own brother. He could see why everyone looked onto the snake with such apparent admiration, but, still, the younger man hated him. Ayame never cared for him, and left Yuki to fend himself against the whole world when he had been so young.

Yuki stood and went to the window carefully, glancing out into the slowly darkening sky. Again, the younger man frowned. He couldn't blame Ayame, yet he still did it. His frown deepened. How could he be so horrible as to blame his brother? Yuki wouldn't think about it any longer. Pushing his other thoughts to the back of his mind, the rat simply felt thankful he wouldn't have to go to school in the morning. He hoped Ayame wouldn't stay, but Yuki felt more excited to stay home than to go off to school. His mind spun with exasperation; everyone looked at him, gawked as though he were something so abnormal to those people. Yuki knew it would never be true, but it made him more than uncomfortable.

All the girls thought he looked so utterly cute, but Yuki didn't think so. He hated the way they called him "Prince," and the way they would follow him, and squeal like pigs just for him. Yuki didn't understand why they did it; it would never be considered healthy in his mind, and it was certainly not over anyone worthwhile. He had a feeling their affection only remained simply because he hadn't ever been with a girl. Yuki had always been something untouchable to them, and he had figured out that the more one couldn't have something, the more wanted it would become. What could he do, however? The girls never listened to any sort of reason, and Yuki couldn't touch any of them. More than that, he couldn't tell them why he couldn't touch them either. He had been so careful over the years.

Yuki yawned carefully, feeling more and more tired as he continued to stare out of his window. The sky shown with red and orange, all the colors the beautiful sunset made belonged to Yuki. He couldn't help but feel sleepy as he watched. The young man had a feeling he was getting sick, which wasn't on his list of things to do. He didn't mind the sickness so much; Yuki didn't want to both the others with a simple fever. The rat had tried hard to cover it up, but the cold became relentless over the past few days, and was starting to reduce him down to his last thread.

The rat of the Zodiac frowned as he moved to his bed, and lay down across the covers. The cold sunk into the room, as though it had been sneaky in doing so. The young man shivered, and threw the blanket over himself before falling asleep. He had been so tired, which had been his excuse to come up here in the first place. Perhaps it wasn't just an excuse after all.