We sat in out squad car waiting to go inside the house. The rain beat rapidly against the world around us. We sat there in silence. I looked over at my partner who was busy picking at his fingernail. I had to smile. Elliot could be so… Elliot-like sometimes. Another one of those small things I loved about him. My mind was racing.
"Are we really doing this?" I finally asked.
"We don't have any other choice," Elliot replied.
I sighed and looked up at the house. This isn't what it looks like…unfortunately. As much as I would love to drag my partner up to that house and make sweet, sweet love to him, that just wasn't going to happen. Stake-outs were the worst these days. I could feel the sexual tension dripping in the air as we sat in our silence.
"Liv, you can do this," Elliot assured me.
"No I can't," I whispered.
"Yes you can. If he tries something, we'll fight back."
"But what if something were to happen?" I wanted to know.
"Like what?" Elliot asked.
"What if one of us was to…" I trailed off.
I couldn't bare to use 'us' and 'die' in the same sentence. I'd be so lost without him. Elliot was my world. I just hoped El felt the same way about me. Married or not, he was still my best friend.
"Don't even think it," Elliot warned.
Too late. I bit my lip and followed a rain drop with my eyes as it made it's way down my window.
"Livvie," Elliot started.
Livvie? He only calls me that when he thinks I'm acting like a little kid. How is fearing for our lives childish?
"What makes this guy so different from anyone else we've gone up against?" Elliot asked.
"He's been killing everyone who tries to get in his way, including cops," I told him.
"So?"
"We're cops and we're trying to get in his way!"
"One word," Elliot started, "Gitano."
My eyes widened at the mention of his name. I could feel Elliot's eyes staring at the scar Gitano had left on my neck. My hand immediately reached up and covered it. I was very self consciences about it.
"That was different," I muttered.
"How? We both almost died," Elliot pointed out.
I shuddered just thinking about it. The feel of the metal blade on my neck; the look on Elliot's face when I fell to the ground, Gitano's threats to take away the life of my beloved partner; it was all too much. I watched the rain trickle down my window again.
"Liv," Elliot breathed in my ear.
I could feel him move closer to me. His finger gently traced my scar. I melted under his touch and turned to face him. His baby blues eyes were way to close my face for comfort. I blushed and turned away again.
"I know I shouldn't be scared, but I can't help it," I confessed. "I can't imagine my life without you in it."
There, I said it.
"I can't either," he said, softly.
I imagined him kissing me then. His lips being soft and warm, his tongue slipping its way into my mouth so we could taste each other, pure bliss. Instead he went back to picking at his fingernail. Typical. Another awkward silence engulfed us. Did I mention I hate stake-outs? Elliot turned back to face me what seemed like an eternity later. He took my hand in his.
"If something were to happen in there," Elliot began. "I don't want you to ever forget me."
"Elliot…"
"When it rains, think of me."
"Why rain?"
"It's raining now."
"And what if something was to happen to me in there?"
"I wouldn't let it. If someone's going to die, it's going to be me."
I could feel the hot tears burning the back of my eyes. Was he seriously considering the fact that he would loose his life for me? His fingers were laced in between mine. I couldn't hold the tears back any longer; they started streaming down my face like the pouring rain outside.
"Think of me when it rains," I said through tears.
"Olivia…"
"If you think I'm just going to stand there and watch you die, then you don't know me at all," I told him.
Elliot squeezed my hand.
"Rain," he whispered. "Our new insider."
Some insider. It's depressing when you think about, really. I gave him a weak smile. He rested our hands, which were still laced together, on my leg.
"Rain," I whispered back. I couldn't believe I was about to say this. "Is love."
His eyes came rather close to mine once again. I swore he was going to kiss me. I could feel his hot breath on my tingling lips. A gunshot ruined it all. Instead he untangled his hand from mine and jumped out of the car with his gun, without so much as another word to me. I sulked after him, not wanting to face what lay ahead.
"Olivia, watch out!" Elliot screamed.
I turned around just in time to roll out of the way of a flying bullet. Yet another time in which Elliot had saved my life. The rain was coming down harder now. It was becoming difficult, if not impossible, to see. I heard another shot ring out. I panicked. I had no idea what was going on besides the fact that I was now drenched.
"Elliot!" I called out into the night.
There was no response. I started hyperventilating. I was unable to breath.
"Elliot!" I screamed again.
I stared up into the rain and prayed helplessly as the rain mixed with my salty tears. Rain, Elliot, Rain, Elliot. The two words echoed back and forth in my head.
"Please God", I murmured. "Please let him be all right."
Suddenly I heard footsteps behind me. I felt a pair of arms find their way around my waist. I drew in a sharp breath, fearing the worst. But then I got a whiff of that scent, that unmistakable combination of cologne and aftershave that was Elliot.
"Don't do that!" I scolded him. "You about gave me a heart attack!"
"I'm sorry, I couldn't resist," Elliot apologized. "I got him though."
"Good," I said, softly.
Elliot took of his soaking raincoat and held it over our heads. I was thankful for being this wet because this way Elliot couldn't tell my tears from the rain. Or so I thought. He rubbed my cheek with his thumb.
"I'm sorry," he apologized again. "I didn't mean to scare you like that."
He leaned and kissed…my forehead. It wasn't what I had hoped for, but hey you have to start somewhere. He opened my door for me and I slid in, sticking the leather interior. Elliot got back into the driver's side and called Cragen on the radio.
He laced our fingers together again and he must have read my mind, for at the same time, we both said, "I love the rain."