RANDOM VOICE OVER GUY:It was a boring, oh yes very boring day. So Alice opened up her hotmail account in world wide web speed (so much slower than that of a vampire) and typed in a life changing address in the TO: section. It was to one Edward Anthony Mason Cullen and although they lived a room away, one must always be dependant of computers...

ALICE TO EDWARD:

TO: Edward Hottness is the name Cullen is his game

CC: Trust Me I'm Alice –Insert Evil Laugh Here-

OMG EDWARD!

Ohhh how I have missed you!! You have been gone for so long –looks at clock- well, I suppose ten minutes isn't that long, but it is to a super speedy vampire like me!! –le sob-

And you know how I just love to bombard you with all of my musings and here is one right now: -grins-

Well. I was translating fanfiction into Russian, because I believe that the Russians are severely missing out and it was a matter of social justice that I translated every story into Russian for them. And the tv was just innocently playing in the background …

and then an add came on and it twas like ...

blah blah blah JASPER blah blah JASPER blah JASPER blah blah JASPER blah JASPER JASPER JASPER!
Forget your old couch and get JASPER!

God how many times can one use that lovely name in a thirty second commercial?

I think it must be a sign from god.

Here is the description of the fantastical lounge:

"When you want to crash out in the middle of the day, and it seems like too much trouble to trek off to bed, a dreamy couch is just what you want. The jumbo Jasper range from King Furniture gives you enormous flexibility, as the pieces can be arranged to suit your room and mood. Jasper consists of various platforms that can be moved to create different seating arrangements. Additional components include single and double-height (haha cause he's double my height gettit?) shelves, which mean you can store remote controls, magazines and DVDs within easy reach. Unlike inferior furniture pieces that use wooden frames, King Furniture opts for sturdier and better quality steel frames.Stylish and extremely practical."

I must say that it is one very lovely couch.

Get it for me for my birthday? (Even though I don't even really know when my birthday is, pretty please with bella on top?? Do not read into the double entrende)

xxALICE

EDWARD TO ALICE:

TO: Trust Me I'm Alice –Insert Evil Laugh Here-

CC: Edward Hottness is the name Cullen is his game

How… err… interesting dearest sister.. but I question: why must you plague me with your random thoughts. -scoffs-

Your Truly,

Edward.

-turns off computer-

-secretly plans to by the Jasper lounge because it looks and sounds so amazingly amazing-

ALICE TO EDWARD:

TO: Edward Hottness is the name Cullen is his game

CC: Trust Me I'm Alice –Insert Evil Laugh Here-

-GLARES-

Lol you seem to have forgotten that I can see the future, so I SAW you buying the couch.

ITS MINE! ALL MINE I SAY!

Hence, I will be forced to come over to your house and steal it in the middle of the night.
-smashes your living room window with axe-
-head jerks left then right to make sure no one is home-
-crazed look in eyes-
And then I will sleep on it every night. -Wicked smile-

xxALICE.

have we ever told you how much we love reviews? -insert crazed eyes here- so please, look into your heart, and review. even if it is a mere smily face... or an angry face... or even a vampire face with three teeth. :E hahaha.

So review, and we may just give you a cookie. of the chocolate variety. of course. :D and it will even be in the shape of a love heart. cause that is how much we will lovee you if you review. :) review. -looks up to you with pleading eyes- pleasee?

and PS the link for the ammazzzinggg couch called jasper is on our profile. look at it. the couch will change you life. promise.