Summary: Kamui and Subaru teach Fai how to be a vampire.

Spoilers: Acid Tokyo spoilers

Disclaimer: I do NOT own any of CLAMP's awesome work.

The room was dark except for a small light bulb that hung over a wooden table. The vampire twins, Kamui and Subaru were sitting side by side while Fai sat across from them.

"So…" Kamui crossed his arms and leaned back on his chair. "Your friend decided to turn you into a vampire like us, right?"

Fai nodded.

"Yes, and I just had to give you blood. " Kamui continued.

"Well I could've given him blood Kamui." Subaru said, turning to his annoyed twin.

"I didn't want you to give him blood because you gave blood to that one eye creep!"

"It was just a little bit…"

"But still!" Kamui banged his fists on the table. Then he turned to Fai who was scooting his chair back a little. "What I'm saying is, your friend decided to turn you into a vampire. I gave you blood. He became E. And now we're all peachy! Now what do you have to say about that?"

Fai shrugged. "I don't know. But I'm wondering why you guys dragged me in here? I know I'm a vampire and all but I don't really need a lesson."

"Yes you do." Kamui said. "Now the first thing you have to know when you're a vampire is that you become cold. Just plan cold. But Subaru here—"Points to Subaru who was trying not to fall asleep. It was the middle of the day. "Is just plan, absolutely, positively kind. Except when he gets really ticked off, but let's not go there."

Fai nodded.

"Now you should take notes on this. " Kamui suggested.

Fai quickly pulled out a notepad and pen.

"Good. Now the second thing you have to know is that vampires wear the best Halloween costumes. "

"Ah. " Fai just nodded, writing that down.

"And you also need to wear black. And lots of it."

"Uh-huh…"

"And since you have Kamui's blood." Subaru then started talking. "You'll be very cranky in the morning."

Kamui glared at Subaru. "I am NOT cranky!"

Subaru just smiled nervously.

"And since you don't have Subaru's blood. " Kamui turns to Subaru who stopped smiling. "You won't be worried about everything all the time!"

"Well I do worry about things." Fai said, after writing that down.

"Well don't!" Kamui said. "It'll only slow you down, Subaru—"Kamui turned to Subaru who was trying to whistle innocently, but problem is, he doesn't know how to whistle.

"Anyway…" Subaru said, who stopped trying to whistle even though he doesn't know how to whistle and there was no point in trying to whistle anyways. "Now that you're a vampire, your body structure has changed and you can do things that human beings can't. Like grow claws, live a lot longer, turn your eyes a different color without contacts. "

"I think he already knows that." Kamui turned to Subaru and back at Fai. "Now, being a vampire is not all fun and games. There are people who try to hunt you down. For example…" Kamui pulled out a piece of paper and started drawing on it.

What Kamui drew was a stick figure with one eye. "This is the guy who's chasing us. "

Subaru looked at the drawing. "Is that supposed to be Seishrou-san?"

"Yes, and—"

"That's a very bad drawing of him."

"It's just a quick sketch. Anyways—"

"You forgot to give him hair. "

"I know, anyways—"

"And his clothes, and hawk thing and—"

"NEVERMIND!" Kamui crumbled up the drawing and tossed it across the room.

Subaru looked at the crumpled of piece of paper. He pouted. "You killed Seishrou-san…"

"Anyways…" Kamui glared at the sniffing Subaru and back at Fai who only blink. "There will be people trying to hunt you down and kill you. The guy who's been chasing us has been chasing us for a really long time and we can't stop running till I beat the heck out of him!"

"What do you have against Seishrou-san?" Fai asked.

"Everything." Kamui muttered.

"Really?" Subaru asked with teary eyes.

"Yes Subaru. I hate EVERYTHING about him! And I don't care if you like him, he is trying to—"

"Where's the bathroom?" Fai asked.

"Down the hall to your left. " Kamui answered and turned back to Subaru. "And as I was saying my dear brother—"

Fai got up from his seat and walked out of the room. And they say that I'm strange…

After twenty minutes in the bathroom (he needed to take a shower too) Fai came back to the room to see Kamui still talking to Subaru.

"And that is why we have to run away from him!" Kamui finished.

Subaru yawned and rested his head on the table. "Okay…"

Fai sat back down, looking at the sleepy Subaru first and then at Kamui. "So um…anything else you want to tell me?"

"Yes. " Kamui said. "Being a vampire is a big responsibility, so use your powers wisely!"

"Okay. " Fai nodded, writing this down in his notepad.

"And furthermore, you have to look awesome! Vampires have to look sexy! But Subaru here—"Points to Subaru who was now sleeping on the table. "Is cute. There's a difference."

"Ah." Fai nodded, writing that down also. "So should I grow out my hair or something?"

"Yes. And also polish your nails after a while. Try not to break them. 'Cause there was this one time when I was fighting that guy, he broke my nail!"

Subaru opened one eye and looked at Kamui. "So is that why you hate Seishrou-san?"

"Yes. And plus you gave him blood."

"Yeah…" Subaru yawned again and fell back to sleep.

Fai and Kamui stared at Subaru and back at each other.

"So what's going on with you guys and Seishrou-san? " Fai asked.

"Long story. " Kamui answered. "Now I need you to sign a contract."

"A contract?"

"Yes." Kamui pulled out a long, long, long, long, long, extremely long scroll of paper. "If you sign this than you officially agreed to follow all the rules of a vampire. Do the abilities, have the looks, and act all cold and awesome. Except for Subaru."

"What?" Subaru asked.

"Nothing." Kamui said and gave Fai the extremely long contract. "Now sign here, there, over there, also here, over there, and that tiny spot over there. "

"Okay." Fai said as he signed all the places Kamui told him too.

Kamui then rolled up the scroll of paper. "Good. You're now an official vampire. "

"Okay, now what?" Fai asked.

Kamui shrugged. "I don't know.

"Oh…"

Subaru yawned loudly and looked at his twin. "Kamui, can you get my pillow for me?"

"You brought a pillow?"

Subaru nodded. "Seishrou-san gave it to me…"

"Than I'm not giving it to you."

"Why not?"

"Cause that creep touched it!"

"So?"

"So? It might be contaminated!"

"You worry too much…"

"You worry more!"

"No I don't."

"Yes you do!"

"Can you just give me my pillow?"

"No!"

Fai sighed and left the room.