'Pirates of the Caribbean' belongs to Disney.

This is my explanation for Jack's rumored demise in 'Til My Ghastly Tale Is Told', by concertgrossi.

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"An' what's the benefit fer me?"

"Surely that's obvious, Belle. Everyone an' their brother will be willin' ta pay ta see the place where Captain Jack Sparrow met his lusty demise. An' a fair portion'll decide ta also patronize yer fine facility while they're at it. You'll be rakin' in extra income fer decades."

"Or until ye decide ta come out of hiding, whereupon everyone an' his brother'll be demanding their shine back."

"That won't happen, luv. I have compelling and irrevocable reasons ta drop out of sight permanently."

"Compelling enough ta do in that sod who's ta play yer corpse, I'll wager. Jus' so ye know; I'll not put me neck on the line to cover for ye, should the magistrates come askin' after that!"

"Darlin', I swear on pain of death that he's naught but a poor downed bloke who floated into my course. And who, as I immediately perceived, happens ta match my general configurations. It'd be disrespectful fer me ta refuse such a Province-sent opportunity, eh?"

"It don't seem respectful to the bloke."

"Au contraire! Inheritin' the tributes due to Jack Sparrow's mortal remnants will likely be the most fortuitous event that ever befell him!"

"That's assumin' the disguise holds."

"Trust me, dearie, you'll fool 'em all if you keep his face respectfully covered an' deck him out in my effects. Everyone even distantly acquainted with me knows I'd never abandon 'em voluntarily."

"But yer doin' jus' that."

"As said, luv: compelling and irrevocable reasons."

"Do they have anythin' ta do with yer suddenly acquired tolerance fer 'beniful waters'?"

"Belle, I have already explained that I can't explain any more than I already have. I'll just say, to live forever it's required that you die every now an' then."

"That don't make a dram o' sense!"

"It's not supposed to, darlin'."

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FINIS

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