Names

DISCLAIMER: I'm CLAMP! (Not) I said it, now what's going to happen to me?

AUTHOR'S NOTE: I thank all my dear readers, your support is what made this my first long fic have 130+ reviews and 8000+ hits so far! I love you all! I will keep writing this, and my new story, I've decided, we'll see how well that goes!

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Kurogane woke up to find himself noticeably without his blonde sleeping companion. A fact he did not enjoy in the slightest. Fai had fallen asleep the night before halfway on top of him, and he'd never say so, but that was his favorite sleeping position.

Kurogane was about to grudgingly go off in search of the now half blind idiot when said idiot decided to make a sudden appearance. He still did rush to Fai's side however, when he noticed he was carrying something. Fai's depth perception was off, naturally, so carrying things was not something he was very good at.

"What are you doing?"

"I can mange, Kuro-koi, I'm not completely blind!" Fai smiled. "I wanted to make breakfast for you!"

"You weren't cooking were you? Idiot, you could hurt yourself, you can't judge distances!" Kurogane sat down on the bed, bringing Fai with him.

Fai laughed, and pointed at the tray. "I can still make waffles in the toaster oven, Kuro-sama. And believe it or not, pour orange juice. Things are harder, not impossible. And I'm getting used to it, after such a long time. Not to mention, the rehab."

Kurogane saw that indeed breakfast consisted entirely of things that only required appliances to cook, rather than the stove.

"Though, overprotective Kuro-mon is very cute," Fai gave him a peck on the check, as a reward for being 'cute.' Kurogane growled. He still had an image to maintain. "Come on, let's eat."

Kurogane sat back in his previous position on the bed, Fai snuggling happily into the crook of his arm. Kurogane studied him, the look on his face. The eye not covered up seemed to have a genuine look of contentment in it. He was glad he could give Fai that, even if that was all. For all that he knew Fai barely trusted him, he knew it wasn't his fault. If his own past was half that horrendous, he wouldn't know what to do, much the less be able to function at an almost normal level. (Almost normal. Fai could never, ever be called fully normal.)

Kurogane wrapped his arm around Fai shoulders a bit more tightly, noting as Fai gave a little sigh.

"What's the matter?"

"Hmm?" Fai asked, "Oh, nothing Kuro-koi."

"NO," Kurogane answered, "You sighed. People don't sigh when everything is alright." He gave Fai a look, his eyes saying what he would not voice: No lies. You've already done more than enough damage by lying to me.

"People also sigh when they're happy, Kuro-pon."

"You sighed because you're happy?" Kurogane asked, skeptically.

"Kuro-chi still sees through me," Fai evaded the question.

"That isn't an answer."

"Be patient," Fai begged him, "I've been lying for so long, it's hard to remember to tell the truth, sometimes."

"I'll bet. Still not an answer, are you happy with me?"

Fai seemed surprised. "I think the question changed a bit at some point, Kuro-wan!"

"Well whatever," Kurogane responded, feeling his cheeks redden a bit in embarrassment. That was indeed a different, far more caring question. And, he cared about the moron; he was his moronic, blonde imbecile. He just wasn't one to shout it from the rooftops, or declare his undying love in front of everyone he knew. Or ask that kind of question. "Whatever, that's the question I'm asking now."

"Well, of course I'm happy with you, Kuro-tan! You love me, even if you get self-conscious about saying so all the time! And, that means…a lot. Just a whole lot." Fai got very quiet toward the end of the sentence, leaving the other to read the part he left unsaid from the silence.

"But," Kurogane prompted, knowing Fai there was some catch.

"But…its odd."

Kurogane stared at him, hoping Fai would continue, but he could see that what he was about to say whatever it was, was painful, and he didn't want to risk pushing Fai. He'd over think it then, evade the conversation, and that would be another step backwards. That was how Fai was, and it was damn frustrating! For each and every step forwards, there were three backwards!

"I feel like I've lost myself."

"What kind of stupid…" Kurogane began, and then stopped himself. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"Well, I've always been Fai, but I've never actually been Fai. It was my brother's name, and it always has been. I only took it, so I wouldn't forget the things I'd done. My sins."

Kurogane refrained from telling him that he hadn't done anything wrong, rather had things done to him. If Fai didn't get it by know, he wasn't going to.

"But, I thought no one could love me, if they knew. And here you are, saying you'd love me no matter what, if I was a Nazi, a Yakuza, a vampire, you'd love me just the same."

He felt rather smug. Maybe he was getting through somewhat to Fai, if he had realized that.

"So, I think that maybe, what I did wasn't so terrible, that maybe it wasn't so wrong. If somebody can still love me, in spite of it," Fai paused, and inhaled softly. "And so, I think I can give him back his name, since I don't need it any longer. Its Fai's name, anyway.

"Only, if I do that, who am I?"

"You could be Yuui again," Kurogane offered.

"No, Yuui died that day, same as Fai did. I haven't been Yuui in a long time."

The words just hung there, around them, as neither knew how to continue. Kurogane mussed. Of all the stupid things, he though, this was pretty high on the list. "Why is a name so important?" He growled.

"Kuro-pyon wouldn't understand, would he?" Fai chuckled. "My name is who I am, how I define myself. It's me. And, I don't know me anymore, so how can I call myself anything?"

"If names are so damned important, why do you insist on mutilating mine?"

"But, it shows how I define Kuro-rinta," Fai beamed.

"You define me as a 'rinta'? What the hells that even mean?"

"No," Fai answered, "I define you as somebody I love, very much. And I show it by giving you all kinds of cute names!"

Fai squealed, as the now forgotten breakfast tray was shoved from Kurogane's lap, and he found himself pinned on the bed.

"Kuro-sama is frisky!" Fai giggled. Kurogane opted to ignore the comment, kissing him instead.

"Can't you still be Fai?"

"Hmm?" Fai sounded confused.

"Not your brother, you. You lived with that name, you made it your name, not his. Can't he have his name, and you just happen to have the same one?"

"I just don't feel like Fai D. Fluorite any more," he said.

Kurogane mumbled something, in which only the word 'Suwa' was audible.

"Kuro, I can't hear you."

"Nothing," he muttered, and tried to kiss Fai again. But Fai turned his head to the side, to avoid it. Kurogane simply took the opportunity to kiss his neck, so Fai shoved against his chest.

"No, now I want to know what you're thinking," Fai scolded, "You made me tell you." '

"It's stupid, it wouldn't even work."

"Kuor-myu," he whined.

"No, I didn't even plan to say that!" Kurogane growled back. He wasn't going to budge. As he said before, he wasn't one to bellow it out from the rooftops 'I am in love with FAI!' Though he apparently was the sort, he had discovered, with what he'd just said. He didn't even know why he'd said it!

"Tell, me please?"

Kurogane felt his face go red, felt his embarrassment. Though, at that point he looked down at Fai, blond hair spread beautifully across the pillows, lovely pale skin flushed. He decided then, maybe it wasn't such a bad thing to ask.

"I said, why do you have to be Fai D. Fluorite," he had to breath a moment, calm his nerves. "Can't you be Fai D. Suwa?"

"Did," Fai gasped, as he understood, "did you just propose, Kuro-pu?"

Kurogane himself had to think about it. Had he, really…?

"Um, yeah, I think so."