A/N: Bleach celebrates a very wonderful holiday. 11th Division style

Title: April Fools

Rating: PG

Warning: some insulting gestures. No offense to any.

Genre: Humor

Characters: Yachiru, Kenpachi, Gotei 13

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It was a very special day in Soul Society. And on this very special day, you could ask anyone in the entire Gotei 13, including Yamamoto himself, a simple question and get a direct answer.

Who was the prankster of April Fool's Day?

And all their answers would be the same: Kusajishi Yachiru

Kusajishi Yachiru, fukotaichou of the 11th division, was named the master of April Fool's Day. She had a sort of childish innocence in the way she spoke that would strangely make anyone believe her, even if she said the world was at an end.

Newcomers or rookies that heard of this were heavily warned and the few that passed it off as "rubbish" or "ridiculous" were called poor suckers by the higher ranking officers.

Because the said few people who disregarded the warnings were never seen or heard from again.

And there were also rumors that April 1st was named as the "date with most casualties" by the Fourth Division.

Casualty Report No.1: Yumichika Ayasegawa, 5th seat of the 11th division, was under stable-condition after smashing his head into a brick wall. He claimed to have been told by a pink-haired little girl that there was a, quote/unquote, "big fat ugly spider tangled in his hair".

Casualty Report No.2: Kotetsu Kiyone and Sentaro Kotsubaki, both 3rd seats of the 13th division, were hospitalized with broken limbs, cracked ribs, shattered teeth, and one concussion. They reported being told by a certain pink-haired fukotaichou that, quote/unquote, "Big-Whitey-chan was looking for a new vice-captain, and whoever got to his office first would be claimed the new one." Apparently, both took the offer to heart.

Casualty Report No.3: Kaname Tousen, Captain of the 9th squad, found dehydrated, dirty, scraped up, and lost in the deep woods in the middle of nowhere. After getting him back to his senses, he reported that a child's voice had told him that, quote/unquote, "There was a hollow doing injustice-like things in the northwestereastern direction of Soul Society."

The list reporting all the casualties was at least 5 pages long that day.

And on other April Fool's Days, things were so bad, Yamamoto had to request professional therapists, because by the end of April 1st, some of his officers were so devastated and in such horrible hysteria, that they could not do they're job nor any paperwork properly.

Patient No.1: Motsumoto Rangiku, who had been in tears and hysteria for hours after being told that, "Fox-Face-chan left because her boobs were too small."

Patient No.2: Kuchiki Rukia, who was traumatized after being told that, "Bya-Bya-chan wants to make her his wife." Rukia had been in therapy for a total of 5-days afterwards.

Patient No.3: Soi Fong, who was so hysterical, had to be shot with Elephant Tranquilizer darts in the neck. Apparently, a pink-haired prankster had said that "Kitty-chan liked the form of a cat and decided to stay that way permanently and even found herself another Kitty-chan and had little Kitty-chans." Soi Fong was in therapy for 7-months.

Patient No.4: Kyouraku Shunsui, who suffered through spurts of depression and deep anxiety. It was his first attack from the April Fool's Master, so he didn't know whether or not to believe when he was told that, "Librarian-san had turned lesbian and joined a group of feminists." Shunsui was in therapy for 10-months.

Patient No.5: Kuchiki Byakuya, who was told that, "Little-Kuckiki-chan wanted to be his wife and wanted to make sweet incest" (or in Yachiru's vocabulary, she called it Insect). Though Byakuya was too proud to admit to taking therapy, witnesses had seen the said proud 6th-division Taichou sneaking in 3 or 4 times.

Patient No.6: Hitsugaya Toshirou, who was more irritated, furious, grumpy, and surprisingly more self-conscious about himself after someone had told him that, "MooMoo-chan preferred older, hairier men." After a whole day of observing his body for any trace of hair, the young prodigy was emotionally defeated and joined in the pity-party with his still-sobbing fukotaichou.

The list of patients was 15-pages long.

And as the holiday progressed, it was just the same as every single one in the past; filled with destruction and mayhem. And for a certain 11th division captain Zaraki Kenpachi, today like every other April 1st in the past, it was filled with sob stories and pansy-ass crying about what his fukotaichou has done in the past 24-hours.

"Kusajishi-fukotaichou's word's must be restrained somehow, Zaraki-taichou." Yamamoto ordered. "You must make sure to heed this request or be faced with the bill for all the repairs done every year."

After a long time of thought and concentration, Zaraki had finally considered those words and planned to sit and talk to Yachiru like any parent would do.

"Oi, Yachiru." He called to her late in the evening when she was finally done with her "spreading of the holiday cheer".

"Yeah, Ken-chan!?"

"Make sure ya' say 'April Fools' after ya done joking with em' or saying something foolish, ya idiot."

"Ooooh! Is that why they call it April Fool's Day, Ken-chan?"

"Yep."

"Gotcha!"

END

A/N: Hope you all enjoyed this. And have a happy April Fool's Day.

lots of luv,

-Joker and the Thief