I got a bunch of awesome reviews! Thanks! Oh my gosh, one of you pointed out that I made Pip say "asshole" instead of "arsehole" and wow, I can't believe I did that! Oops. From now on he'll say arsehole. I might go back and change it or something. But who knows… I don't really know how to do that haha.

Also, haha. I don't even remember what was supposed to happen in this chapter. I wrote like, the first half of it, then got a new computer and I've just now bothered to transfer everything months later, so it's been a while. Going off what I wrote and what I named the chapter, I improvised.

Disclaimer: Please don't kill me for how long this took!

Chapter 08 – A Big Decision

Pip's Log

Saturday, September 19th:

7:00 AM: arrived for lookout duty

7:16: Satan leaves for work

7:34: Jesus leaves for Heaven

7:35: Mary Magdalene takes out trash (only a Saturday thing, I think)

8:01: Damien goes outside, walks behind manor.

10:23: Damien walks outside, presumably he went back inside at somepoint? What is he doing anyway?

10:24: Damien goes back in after looking around for a minute

10:46: John Lennon walks dog. Wait, (((we))) they have a new dog?

11:10: Peter leaves with fishing pole.

(((11:11: I make a wish that Damien will love me again)))

11:12: John returns, shouts, "Here boy, good boy Richard!" so I assume the dog is named Richard

11:45: Damien goes outside, walks down the path towards town

12:19: Damien returns with some sort of food. I'm kinda hungry…

1:00: I almost faint from hunger

1:09: I hear loud music from inside

3:56: Satan returns

4:59: Jesus returns, is that God in tow? It's hard to tell with Him!

7:23: Peter returns with fish. They look tasty, although raw. Sushi?

7:30: I get entirely too bored, hungry, and tired to continue look-out duty even though I'm supposed to be on til 9:00.

"You left before duty was over?" Sadie asked, taking in Pip's miserable looking state. He snatched the log from Pip's hand, read it over, then snarled. "God damn it! There is nothing useful on here! Did you do anything except sit in front of the house all day and observe? Did you investigate at all?"

Saddam's anger was palpable, and Pip shivered. "Sadie, it didn't seem important… I was doing that before and not finding out anything, and then almost getting caught! It was a waste. Better to just observe from the front and make sure we get a good sense of their regular comings and goings!"

"Are you presuming to know how to do this better than I do?"

"Uhm, no, I'm just saying – "

"Then you can shut your face and DO WHAT I TELL YOU! If I tell you to try to investigate further, you know what you do? YOU GODDAMN INVESTIGATE FURTHER!"

Pip nodded, looking reprimanded. It wasn't even that Pip had realized he was doing something wrong – it was really more that Saddam was yelling so. Yelling made Pip break down and internalize his feelings. Truthfully, he was a little resentful, a lot scared, and mostly miserable. I miss Damien. I miss Damien. I miss Damien. He looked nice today. Nice black pants complimented his –

"And you do NOT wish that Damien loved you again!" Sadie said after looking at the paper again and noticing a particular crossed-out line on the log.

"It was an accident, I meant to write something else –"

"Don't even pull that! Get out of my sight. I can't stand being around incompetent people."

And with that bright note, Pip made himself disappear.

Saddam had undergone a dramatic change since revealing his true identity to Pip. Pip could barely remember the days a couple months ago when Sadie was nice to him. Saddam had started snapping at him over everything. Sometimes the old Sadie popped up and gave Pip a pat on the head or a congratulations, or even a, "Nice shirt." But mostly, it was rudeness and aloofness. Pip had come to the realization that he'd been conned big time, but what was he to do now? He'd chosen sides, and now he was on Saddam's side. Damien would never take him back; the family would never forgive him; now Pip had SPIED on them, so of course they would never accept him back into their lives.

And besides, Perry was alright. Perry was nice to him at least.

"Are you alright?"

Pip looked up from his desk as Perry entered the room that Pip had begun inhabiting. "Oh. Hi Perry. I'm fine, how are you?"

Perry grinned. "Oh, I'm better than fine. Guess what?"

"What?"

Perry paused dramatically, reached into a plastic bag, and conjured up a movie. "Spaceballs!"

"Space-whats?"

Perry gave him a dirty glare. "Seriously, Pip? You don't know Spaceballs?"

Pip stood up from his desk with a helpless shrug. "I'm sorry, I've kind of lived in a box my whole life."

"Must have been one confining box," Perry muttered, pushing the movie into Pip's DVD player and settling down on the bed as if it were his own. Perry didn't really know the truth about Pip's life during his actual lifetime, and Pip was just fine with keeping it that way. Pip sat on the bed as well, his back to the headrest, with Perry sitting companionably next to him.

Pip watched the movie in utter silence. He did not laugh even during the funniest parts, but he attributed that to the fact that he really wasn't paying attention at all. Perry, on the other hand, was hysterical and laughing uproariously. "PIP! Did you see that?"

Pip looked over at his companion and nodded, which was enough for Perry to go back to the movie.

Then, without Pip really noticing, the movie ended, and the room went dark as Perry turned off the TV. "Did you like it?" Perry asked quietly.

"Uhm. It was… alright. I'm more into documentaries, really," Pip muttered.

"Oh. Like Bowling for Columbine?"

Pip, who had lied about liking documentaries, hadn't the slightest idea what Perry was talking about. "Oh, yeah. Sure. That one was good."

"And Brokeback Mountain?"

"Yeah, I liked that documentary too," Pip replied dishonestly. I hope these are actually documentaries…

"HAH! You liar. Brokeback Mountain is so not a documentary. I bet you don't even watch any movies, do you?" Perry asked. Pip was suddenly very aware of how close Perry was on the bed next to him. He sighed.

"Okay, you got me. I have never really watched any movies before, and I never really cared about them. And I didn't really pay any attention to this one. I'm sorry," Pip murmured, turning his face away. The room was dark, though, so it wasn't like Perry could see his face anyways.

"It's okay," Perry replied. Was it just Pip's imagination, or was Perry scooting closer to him?

"Erm… so, how are you?" Pip asked, not sure why it was suddenly so uncomfortable in the room.

"I'm really good," Perry replied in a stage whisper. His hand was on Pip's arm. "How are you?"

"I-I'm fine," Pip responded about as loudly.

"You know Pip, I really like you," Perry whispered. When Pip made no response, Perry rearranged himself so that he was on top of Pip, straddling his waist. "And you know what? I think you like me a little bit too," he breathed huskily before covering Pip's lips with his own and pushing Pip's head up against the headboard.

For a moment, Pip didn't know what to do. No one besides Damien had ever kissed him. Should he kiss back? It wasn't as though Damien was ever going to love him again, and Perry seemed to be a pretty good kisser. Besides, he actually likes me. People don't really like me all that much. Maybe I should just…

And then he heard Damien's voice in his head. "Stay here!"

"Why?"

"Because I love you!"

Pip pushed Perry away from him hastily. "No! I'm- I'm sorry Perry! Please don't!"

Perry grumbled in the dark room from his spot in front of the Pip on the bed. "You've been flirting with me this whole time, you tease!"

Pip was quite certain he hadn't done anything of the sort. "Why, I have no idea what you're talking abo-"

Perry pushed him up against the headboard again. "Tell me you don't want me," he said gutturally, placing wet, open-mouthed kisses all over Pip's face. "C'mon, Pip, tell me you don't want this…"

"I-I-I don't! I'm in love with Damien!" Pip managed to sputter out, although he was so flustered he wasn't sure how. Perry stopped kissing him.

"You're… what?"

Pip used the delay in kisses to push Perry fully off of him. "I said, I'm in love with Damien."

"If you haven't noticed, we're in the middle of an operation that is trying to bring him and his father down," Perry said snappishly.

"I know," Pip said sadly. "I don't know what to do now. I'm trapped, and Damien hates me now, but it doesn't matter, because I'm in love with him, and I can't do things like this with anyone else."

"Pip…" Perry sounded gentler now. "Pip, the guy treated you wrongly."

"But I was in the wrong too. I was acting selfishly, not understanding how much he loved me. I was pushing him away and making life difficult for him. I- I know he could have handled it better," Pip admitted, "but that doesn't change the fact that I still care deeply for him. And even if he'll never love me again now that I've left him and joined up with Saddam Hussein, it doesn't even matter. What matters is that I'm in love with him, and always will be."

"What will you do when the time comes to turn a weapon on him!" Perry asked angrily. "What happens when you have to really betray him? Huh? Pip, there's no way he'll ever take you ba–"

"I DON'T CARE IF HE HATES ME FOR ETERNITY!" Pip yelled, the anger from the situation causing him to stand up next to the bed. "I won't do it, Perry! I won't betray him! And you can go tell Sadie and Sadie will probably do his worst to me, but you know what? I don't care! Do what you want! I have made my decision!"

The silence was deafening, and Pip could do nothing but breathe heavily and wait for Perry to say something. But finally, he responded. "I won't tell Sadie," he said. "But I will tell you – Damien's gone. I'm the only one you've got now, and if you won't have me, you won't have anyone." Perry then stood up from the bed as well and walked around it to stand next to Pip. "I hope you come around soon," he breathed into Pip's ear, gave it a chaste kiss, and then walked out of the room, leaving Pip alone in the darkness.

Uh… I don't know what to say. I think Perry's pretty sexy, actually. But don't worry, our cute little Pip is definitely going to stay faithful. :D