Disclaimer: We don't own Lord of the Rings. Tolkien does.

One bright, sunny afternoon, Legolas walked into Aragorn's room in Lothlorien, and noticed that he was sitting by himself, muttering "I love you Arwen, I'm your Ranger Love," over and over again.

"Are you talking about Arwen to yourself?" asked Legolas.

"Shut up Legolas, you don't know anything about girls! So shut up!" yelled Aragorn.

"So who cares? Some guys want me to tell them about girls," said Legolas.

"Are you two fighting about girls again?" said Gimli.

"Shut up!" yelled Legolas and Aragorn.

Then Gimli stood up "You don't tell a Dwarf to shut up," yelled Gimli

Then Gimli got his axe, and was going to kill them but he didn't.

"I'm not going to kill you guys because you are my friends," said Gimli

"WHAT! You were going to kill us!" yelled Legolas

"Yeah, sorry, but why do you think I grabbed my axe? " Gimli snapped.

Then Legolas and Aragorn slapped Gimli.

"OUCH! OUCH! OUCH! OUCH! You two hurt," yelled Gimli. "But Legolas slaps harder then you, Aragorn," he added.

"WHAT! Aragorn slaps harder than me," Legolas insisted.

Aragorn grinned and slapped Legolas.

Gimli pulled Legolas's hair.

"OWWW! OWWWW! OWWW!" Legolas screamed in pain.

"What are you doing to Legolas?" Frodo gasped, running in.

"STAY out of this!" Aragorn yelled, glaring at him.

"No, I won't stay out of it," Frodo said. Therefore, he, too, slapped Legolas. Then he left.

Suddenly, Gimli farted.

"Oops, sorry my fault," he groaned.

"GROSS! GROSS! GROSS! GROSS!" said Legolas.

"Well sorry, I ate beans today for lunch," Gimli said defensively.

Then Aragorn pulled Legolas's hair.

"OUCH! OUCH! OUCH! OUCH! Quit hurting me," Legolas wailed.

Gimli was standing next to Legolas and pulled his pants down.

Then Legolas started a fire. Gimli farted again and almost blew all of them up. "Oops, sorry," said Gimli

"You might have killed us," said Legolas and Aragorn. Then Aragorn and Legolas slapped Gimli.

"OUCH! OUCH! Dang you two hurt;well, when you want me come find me," Gimli growled. He walked off, then turned around and repeated, "When you guys want me come and get me."

Outside, Spiders were eating Frodo, Sam, Merry, and Pippin. Legolas went to go get Gimli. He was behind a tree.

Legolas was almost shot by an arrow. He jumped and the arrow got Legolas's hair. "Owww, no, it got my hair!" Legolas ran in a hole."OWWWW!" The hole was filled with spiders. Legolas tried to get out but he couldn't get up.

"Help me!" yelled Legolas. A lot of spiders were biting him. "Aragorn help me, I'm stuck in a hole and it is hot in here!" yelled Legolas. Then the wizard made them into five-year-old kids.

Legolas finally got out of the hole. Then he fell into a deeper hole, and an even deeper hole, and finally the ultimate deep hole. "AAAAAGGGGGHHHHHHHH!" he screamed, his voice unheard by any of his friends.

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