Setting: End of Season 2, Prom.

Pairings: Addek. First and foremost. Others may pop up, but won't be important. There is MerDer, but it will not be MerDer. I warn you now.

Disclaimer: I don't own the title; it's a song by Headlights. The title of this chapter is from the song Breakable by Ingrid Michaelson. And of course, I don't own Grey's Anatomy.

A/N: I'm finishing Just an Egg before I work any more on this one, but I just have to get this up. So when JAE is done, look for updates to this one.

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Derek wasn't here. He wasn't dancing with Addison. In physicality he was. He was dancing with Addison in physicality. His face was resting above her shoulder. But mentally, he was a hell of a lot farther away. He was with Meredith. Addison knew it, and it broke her heart yet again, yet a dull breaking. By this time, she expected nothing more from Derek.

It could be a closet, an on-call room, a dimly lighted hallway, it didn't matter. Just as long as he got to be with Meredith. Kiss her, touch her, have sex with her. He wanted her. His body ached for her, for her small frame to once again fill the empty spaces in his. Her breathy voice to exhale warm air into his ear. Her lips to moan his name.

Meredith wasn't dancing with Finn. She was in physicality, but in mentality she was with Derek. Somewhere. He was apologizing for choosing Addison when he really wanted Meredith. He was apologizing for breaking her. He was promising all sorts of things. He was romancing her again. He was her McDreamy.

Finn felt a pang in his body. Meredith really didn't like him the way Finn liked her. Finn had thought that Meredith would be helpful in moving on with Liz. Finn liked her. And Meredith was just using Finn as an excuse to make Derek jealous. Meredith just wanted Derek.

Meredith couldn't breathe as Derek focused his eyes on her. His blue eyes, which should've been focused on his wife, on the balloons, on the cake, on anything but Meredith. She excused herself from Finn and ran. Took off down the hallway, bolting. Moments later, she heard her name being called and saw Derek following her. She cursed and shut herself into an exam room.

Addison felt her composure crack as she watched her husband lie and run off after that intern. Meredith Grey. Addison couldn't bring herself to hate her, even now as she knew what was happening. She just wiped away the water forming at her eyes, and went to sit down.

"Hey, Addison."

Addison looked up, surprised. "Hey, Finn."

Finn watched Addison dab at her eyes with a tissue, blotting at the slightly streaked mascara. "Are you okay?"

Addison laughed bitterly. "Of course I'm okay. My husband just ran off to fuck Meredith. Oh, wait, I suppose he's making love to her. He only fucks me, pretending that I'm her." The words were flung off her tongue.

Finn watched Addison carefully. "I'm so sorry."

"I am too. I really am."

"Why aren't you…stopping him?"

"What kind of good would that do? Stop him from having sex for days? Hours maybe?" Addison looked up, forgetting that Finn was dating Meredith. "Oh, God, I'm sorry. I forgot you and Meredith were together."

"I think 11 years of marriage tops a few weeks of dating."

"Still."

"What are you going to do?"

Addison shrugged. "I still love him. I just don't think he loves me at all any more. And I don't want to be an obligation."

Finn nodded. "I'm sorry. I don't think you-or anyone-deserve this."

"Derek seems to think I do."

"That doesn't mean you do."

"But doesn't it?"

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Derek and Addison rode back to the trailer in silence. Addison tried not to let tears slip out, she tried not to cry. It was easier said than done, as she watched Derek stare straight ahead as if nothing had happened. As if their marriage wasn't unraveling and over. Forever.

Addison ran quickly to the shower, allowing her tears to flow in there. The water drained out and gurgled, and Addison took down her hair, washing it for what would be the last time in that shower. She used the rest of her raspberry shampoo and eventually her tears subsided. She dried off and slipped into pajamas, before crashing into bed. Derek was awake, Addison could tell, but she just lay there.

"So I guess this is the last time." Addison let the words come out harshly, not trying to hide that she knew.

"The last time…for what?" Derek felt unbelievably irritated with Addison, and he wasn't quite sure why. It might have something to do with having slept with Meredith earlier that evening, but that shouldn't make him irritated at his wife, should it?

"The last time we're going to sleep in the same bed."

Derek was floored. She knew. Addison knew. She knew he had slept with Meredith at prom. How the hell did she know? It had been mere hours ago. And yet she knew.

"What do you mean?"

Addison exhaled angrily. "You know perfectly well what I mean, Derek. You know perfectly damn well. I'd bet Meredith knows too. I may have cheated first, but I wanted you back. I wanted you, Derek, not Mark." Derek visibly winced at Mark's name, but Addison ignored it. "But you don't want me anymore, Derek. And I said I don't want to be with you if I'm unwanted, if you're just lusting after that intern. So I'm done. You obviously don't want me, I'm unwanted, and so I'm leaving." Addison paused, catching her breath. "And so that makes this the last time we'll be sleeping in the same bed."

Derek said nothing for a few minutes, afraid of what he would say. "Why didn't you just leave tonight?"

"I needed one more night. I don't care if you think of me as Meredith, hell; you might even leave later tonight for a quickie with Meredith. But Derek, I still love you, as idiotic as it is, and I can't just leave. I'm not that strong."

I'm not that strong. Derek could hardly believe Addison didn't think she was strong enough for that. This was Addison, the woman who hadn't cried at all on September 11, even though she had desperately wanted to. The woman who had watched her friend die of breast cancer and had sat at her funeral, on her death-bed as well. The woman who lost four babies in one day and made it to the next one. Addison was unbelievably strong. And she was saying she wasn't.

Addison's voice changed from the coldness it was before to a softer, quieter voice. "What is wrong with me?"

Derek didn't have anything to say. He stared at the ceiling of the trailer.

"I just, God, I want to know. I mean, am I too stubborn? Too opinionated? Or is it more of the physical? Am I too tall? Too red-haired? Am I horrible in bed compared to her? Do I talk too much? I want to know."

"It's just I-I mean," Derek stammered, "I never loved you again. I never forgave you. Nothing's wrong with you, it's just I never forgave you for…for Mark."

"Oh."

"And then I came out here and met-"

"Don't say her name. Please."

"And I met her. And she was a breath of fresh air from the suffocation I got out East. She wasn't you; she wasn't like you at all. I had a one-night stand that grew into a relationship and then lo-"

"I already know you love her, Derek, I don't need to hear it again. You told me at Christmas, remember?" Addison couldn't keep the bitterness out of her voice. "And I suppose you and Meredith make a more interesting story, right? I mean, we just met at med school. You met Meredith at a bar, and somehow grew a relationship from a one-night stand. God, tell that one to your children. Be sure to leave out the part about the adulterous bitch of a wife you currently had at the time. Or, maybe, just make me into the Wicked Witch of the East. Yeah, that will work. That way, they have someone to hate. Every good story has a villain. I can be the one in the Meredith-and-Derek love story."

Addison's voice shook as she finished. She was over, done. She glared at the numbers on the clock. The digital numbers blinked that it was 1:03 in the morning.

"And happy anniversary. Divorced on our anniversary. That'll be a twist."

Derek stared at the clock. He had forgotten it was their anniversary. They were, in all technicalities, married for 12 years on this day. It wasn't like it meant anything anymore though. He had Meredith now. Addison was leaving. He was getting exactly what he had wanted for months now.

"I'm sorry, Addison. I'm not proud of sleeping with her."

"Bullshit." Addison rarely cursed, but she had cursed more tonight than she had over the past few months.

"I'm not. It was wrong. You deserve better."

"Right. So now you can feel as if you're the better person. Because I deserve better, so you sleeping with Meredith is okay now?"

"No, Addison, it's not. I was married."

"That didn't stop me."

"That was different."

"Really, now. You can't go changing just because you're trying to prove a point. I slept with Mark. You slept with Meredith. I see no difference."

"You slept with Mark because I wasn't there. I was gone. You were right there when I slept with Meredith."

"No, Derek, do you really want to know why I slept with Mark?" Addison's voice rose. "I slept with Mark because I had fallen in love with Mark. I hadn't fallen out of love with you, but I fell more in love with Mark. Sure, he was there, but regardless, I fell in some sort of love with him. I kissed him that night and asked him to take me to bed. I asked him, Derek. I wanted to feel something. He didn't seduce me or get me drunk, I asked him. So I don't see a difference."

"You asked him?"

"I asked him."

"But…but…"

"But nothing. And you know what else? I stayed with Mark. After you left. After a week of you not being there, not coming back. A week of feeling like shit. He came over and stayed. For two months."

"Two…months."

"And then, him being Mark and all, I found him with another girl and it was over."

Derek's voice turned to stone. "So you come running back to me because you and Mark didn't work out? Because he treats you like he would any other girl? Did you actually think you'd be something special to him, Addison? Did you think he'd change because you're Addison?" Derek laughed coldly. "I've known Mark since kindergarten, Addison, I could've told you that. Even in junior high he was known for cheating and dating multiple girls at once. Did he tell you he loved you? Did he say this was not a fling? Did he say all of that?" When Addison said nothing, Derek continued. "He probably did. He probably said all of it and more. And he was lying, Addison. Lying. I loved you. You were not a fling to me. You were something special to me. You were my best friend and the love of my life. And then I find you with him. And now I discover you've stayed with him. So happy anniversary, Addison. Happy goddamned anniversary."

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"What is this?"

"My letter of resignation. I'll stay six more weeks, but then I'm gone."

"Addison."

"Richard." Addison's tone met his evenly.

"What happened?"

Addison laughed quickly, shortly. "I know you don't pay attention to rumors, Richard, but you had to hear this one."

"It's not true." Richard looked at Addison sadly.

"It's absolutely true. Absolutely true."

"And you are both…really over?"

Addison sighed. "He doesn't love me anymore."

"You're sure?"

"He slept with Meredith at prom last night, Richard." Addison rapped her knuckles on the desk, the physical pain much better than the emotional pain.

"But you couldn't stay?"

"And watch my husband's romantic story unfold while mine stays boxed up? No thank you."

"You still love him?"

Addison pursed her lips. "Of course I still love him. He's…Derek." She stared wistfully out into space. "But now, I guess, he's McDreamy."

Richard placed his hand over his. "I really am sorry. Where are you going?"

"I'm going back to New York. I'm-" Addison paused, catching her tears, "-selling the Brownstone. I'll find an apartment or something. And move on. Start over."

Addison felt a tear fall out of her eye. Richard watched as she sank onto the couch. She buried her face in her hands and felt everything crash. She had been doing so well. For two hours. It was still good. And now she couldn't. She didn't want to think about going back to New York yet.

He came over and placed his hands on her back, rubbing it gently.

"I was so stupid. I shouldn't have ever slept with Mark. I shouldn't have stayed with him. I shouldn't have aborted his baby. And most of all, I shouldn't have even tried to get Derek back. How do I compete with a woman fifteen years younger than me? How do I? Derek didn't love me even when we were in New York. Towards the end, at least. We used to be in love. Whatever happened to it? What happened to that love?"

"Addison…I don't…"

There was a sharp rap on the door and Derek opened it. He saw Addison collapsed on the couch and his face turned cold and hard.

"What is she doing here?"

Richard's face changed, he glared at Derek furiously.

"I'm resigning, Derek." Addison looked up from tear-stained eyes. "I'm resigning and moving back to New York."

"To go be with Mark?" Derek practically spat it at Addison.

"No. I'm going back so I don't have to watch you and Meredith in elevators, in on-call rooms, in exam rooms."

"And you're also hoping Mark will take you back."

"No, Derek, I'm not. Not at all."

Derek laughed, not believing Addison. She looked at him and felt her heart break all over again.

"Derek, just go. I can talk to you later." Richard's tone exhibited one of the utmost formalities. Derek smirked and shut the door, not before stealing a final glance at Addison, throwing horrible looks in her direction.

Richard sighed, looking at Addison. "I understand why you have to leave, Addison."

Addison nodded. "You know, twelve years ago to date, I would've never imagined this was happening. Never. I was getting married. I believed it'd be forever. Until death. We said the vows. I thought we meant them. We didn't."

"Do you need the day off?" Richard didn't know what else to say.

Addison shook her head. "I need to work. I need to stop thinking about it."

"Okay."

Addison stood up, gathering herself up and wiping her eyes. "I'm sorry Richard. I really would stay. I just can't."

Richard shook his head. "Addison, please don't be sorry. Please."

"Okay."

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"Karev, what do you think you're doing?"

Alex straightened up, staring at Addison. "Nothing, Doctor Montgomery-Shepherd."

"Please don't call me that."

Alex knew what she was talking about, but he was once again angry for being with her. "Call you what?"

"I think you know pretty damn well, Karev."

"Sorry, Mrs. Montgomery-Shepherd."

Addison bit her lip and tried not to cry. "That's not it either." She started shaking her head quickly, and Alex looked at her.

"Sorry." He said it fast, so that he didn't seem overly sensitive.

She looked up at him, her eyes shining with tears. "Can you please go bring Miss Swenson up to date on her baby and meet me in twenty minutes with Mrs. Raleigh?"

"Sure." Alex wasn't sure why he agreed. He felt bad. He had heard about Meredith and Derek, and just couldn't understand it. He couldn't even approve of it. It just seemed so wrong. Derek had been married. Meredith had known that then. And still they had had sex. With Addison just yards away.

Addison hurried to the elevator and pressed the up button. She just needed to go get coffee from that one coffee cart upstairs on the sixth floor. She stepped into the empty elevator, breathing easily.

The elevator doors clicked open on the second floor, and Meredith stepped in. Addison would've left, but she didn't notice until it was too late. Meredith stood off to the other corner, shrinking. Meredith chewed on her nails.

"Add-Dr. Montgomery-I…I'm sorry."

Addison put up her hand. "Save it. I don't care."

Meredith shrunk back. Addison wished and prayed the elevator would move faster. Addison knew she was mean, but this was the woman who had slept with her husband. Last night. Less than 24 hours ago. Addison was allowed to be mean.

She grabbed a coffee from the cart and decided to walk down the stairs to the floor, figuring it was easier to avoid Meredith, and more importantly, Derek on them. She navigated down two flights, but then was met with talking.

"I ran into Addison in the elevator."

And then Addison heard Derek's voice. "What did she say?"

"I tried to apologize and she brushed me off."

Derek reached out to touch a strand of Meredith's hair. "I'm so sorry."

Meredith pushed his hand away. "Derek…you're still married."

"Not for long. A few more hours. Then I'm free."

Free. Addison was letting him free. In letting him free, in divorce, Addison felt like she was being trapped. Like some sort of box was coming down on her. Like her oxygen was cut off. She was certainly defined by Derek. She was certainly independent. She was both. It was possible. She'd been defined by Derek for 14 years. He had been defined by her as well. They had been each other's definitions. But come this afternoon, they wouldn't be.

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Addison felt the pen in her hands. It was smooth and long. The ink was thick and black and would make a lasting signature. Apparently more lasting than the signature she had made when she got married.

Derek sat across from her. He looked altogether too joyful. Too happy for divorce. Addison wanted to curl up into a ball, but she couldn't. She had to sit.

"Please sign and date the papers." The lawyer spoke in dull tones. Addison had the overwhelming desire to look at the clock.

3:30. Irony was a cruel thing. As if it wasn't bad enough that she was getting divorced on her anniversary, but she was getting divorced exactly 12 years from the wedding ceremony. She quickly signed the papers. Derek signed his and Addison felt a tear fall out of her eye. She wiped it away and focused on the lawyer. He was talking about what was to be divided up.

"Dr. Montgomery can have the Brownstone, and start a safe haven for adulterous wives." Derek's use of Dr. Montgomery made Addison feel worse than ever. That, combined with the comment following, made Addison angry and heartbroken at the same time. "I'd like the house in the Hamptons. She never enjoyed it anyway. Meredith will love it."

He was going to bring Meredith there. Meredith. Meredith might sleep in the same bed she had. Use the couches Addison had spent months deciding on. Use the same sink, the same towels. Addison felt sick.

"That just leaves the house at Santa Monica."

Addison didn't say anything. Derek smiled. "If Dr. Montgomery doesn't mind, I think we should sell it and divide the money."

"Dr. Montgomery?"

Addison had been a million miles away, at their wedding, to be precise. "I don't care."

"So that's a 'yes'?"

Addison shrugged.

"Dr. Montgomery, we need a worded response."

"Yes. Sell the house."

The lawyer smiled, gathering up his papers. "Everything else is taken care of."

"Thank you for coming on such short notice." Derek continued smiling. Addison felt everything inside her crash for what must have been the hundredth time that day.

"Not a problem, Doctor Shepherd." The lawyer left the room, leaving them alone.

Addison stood up numbly. "I'll go get my things now, that way you don't have to have them when you bring Meredith back tonight."

"How very considerate of you, Dr. Montgomery."

"What would you like me to do with you things at the Brownstone?"

Derek smirked. "Mark's the same size as me. He can have them."

Addison walked out of the room quickly, trying to get anywhere than where she was.

She would never think of this day happily again. It used to be the happiest day of her life. And now it couldn't be.

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A/N: So, there it is. Derek's a jerk; but he's still dealing with the whole staying-with-Mark thing. And if you don't trust me that this could even begin to be Addek, just do. I have like a natural radar in me that transports me back to Addison-and-Derek-land. Always.

By the way, as I finish this chapter the song which is the title of this story comes on. Coincidence? I think not.