BlaI do not own anything. This is the companion piece to "Fecking Diary" please R&R. Wow, thanks for the reviews.

Betchin' Blog

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Hey People.

Damn it's been a while now, hasn't it? Been really busy...

Fuck.....so damn long. That's what happens when you go on a honeymoon and your private deserted island DOESN'T HAVE WI-FI.

I almost went insane. Luckily Mello kept me very....distracted. I've come (haha "come") to love the flavor of chocolate, and leather..... though that time that he fucking =left= me tied to the bed for eight hours was a bitch. A Big Fat Bitch. Not that Mello is any of those. I love him sooooooooooooooooooooooooooo much. We're moving into a new house today. We just got the internet hooked up and of course my laptop is the first thing unpacked.

Oh =shit=. How did I manage to not tell you about the wedding?! I'm so sorry.... 'kay... damn.... where to begin....

Um....okay.

There was a huge hustle-bustle (Rhia's vocabulary is rubbing off on me.) It was really trippy. Near had grey hair (don't ask why, apparently it had something to do with a failed attempt at being emo), he and Mello were being all buddy buddy....L was being like... weird. REALLY weird. Like....=nice=...and /warm/ and...Oh, and he totally tried to bang my sister. O__O

Yeah..... 'bout that.... nothing more messed up than getting up with the pre-wedding jitters and seeing your mentor holding himself and walking funny. And, being stupidly tired enough to ask, getting told how your sister kicked your mentor in the balls when he tried to "snuggle".

NAKED.

Except for boots that might have belonged to Mello.

My eyes....the image is burned into my retinas. I tried to chalk it up as a bad (twisted, horrific, horrible, wrong, and in no way arousing) dream, but then my sister had to bitch to me about it the next day.... (insert shudder here). I remember a few "heart to hearts" with my dad.... he was born and raised in Texas. Not that that excuses anything... He really does just want me to be happy... I made him and Mello sit down and talk for a while.... it went surprisingly well. At first they were fuming, but then they'd talk about me.... and they found out they've got some stuff in common. And now dad's gone and wiped all of Mello's records. He's not on any "most wanted" lists. 'Cept for mine. Damn that was corny.

Anywho....

WEDDING.

Wait... first I've gotta explain the ... incident that was the pre-wedding... fuck, Natasha's crying.... Mello's putting together the nursury....dammit, I'll be back later. I need to tell you 'bout "Uncle Konrad Kheel".

Bye for now,

Matty