A/N: It's funny what inspiration hits you when you're reading DH for the fourth time, and are ju-u-u-u-ust about to drift off. I was reading, and my exhausted brain went 'Hey! Now THAT'S an idea!' and then I fell asleep. And promptly woke up 4 hours later when DH hit the floor loudly (Big book+top bunkloud sound) the first thought in my mind being 'Hey, now that's an idea!' without any capitals or extra exclamation marks, as it was a slightly less inviting prospect at 5 AM than it was at 1 AM.

Drivel aside, ONWITHTHESTORY!!

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters or settings. Matter of fact, a couple paragraphs from the start are from page 147 of the Australia-NZ version of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, by J.K. Rowling. I have indicated these by placing a hyphen (-) at the start of each paragraph. The immediately following paragraph is similar to the first one on page 148, but I fully wrote it x)

Warning: Foulmouthedness, homosexual relations between two men and your mum.

Dedicated to; Melita (rainbowxcrayons) aaaajhhgjgkbahKKFFJbaklsgbwaaaaaaaah HAPPY BIRTHDAY SIRIUS!! -asphyxiating hug- I couldn't live without you filling my heart with Siriussy goodness! You are the Sirius to my Remus (only the personalities are sort of switched LOL), the chocolate to my milk, the rainbow to my hideously emo. I LOVE YOU!

The Super Duper Mega Secret Diary Of Sirius Orion Black

-Harry continued up the stairs until he reached the topmost landing, where there were only two doors. The one facing him bore a nameplate reading Sirius. Harry had never entered his godfather's bedroom before. He pushed open, holding his wand high to cast light as widely as possible.-

-The room was spacious and must, once, have been handsome. There was a large bed with a carved wooden headboard, a tall window obscured by long velvet curtains and a chandelier thickly coated in dust, with candle stubs still resting in its sockets, solid wax hanging in frost-like drips. A fine film of dust covered the pictures on the walls and the bed's headboard; a spiders web stretched between the chandelier and the top of the large wooden wardrobe and as Harry moved deeper into the room, he heard a scurry of disturbed mice.-

All around the walls, hangings in Gryffindor colours assailed Harry's eyes, and he blinked. It was like being back in his common room. Teenage Sirius had clearly wanted to resist his parents in any way possible. There were also posters for rock bands of the time, some muggle ones Harry recognised (Sirius had evidently been a Beatles fan) and some bands he had never heard of, which could potentially be wizarding bands. Between the music posters were several muggle pictures of motorbikes, some even with bikini-clad girls sitting astride them. You really had to admire Sirius' daring. And his sticking charms. The photo caught Harry's eye, as it was the only moving on the wall. It was the four marauders, arms around each other, laughing and happy in their teenage years.

Harry studied it intensely, until a flicker of motion caught in his peripheral vision. He spun around, wand raised, to find himself pointing his wand at a small picture on Sirius' bedside table. Moving closer, Harry picked up the thickly framed picture, not sure he believed what he was seeing. He raised it right to his face, to take in every detail, to realise it was real.

The picture was a simple enough scene, played over and over. Two teenage boys sat on a rock next to the lake at Hogwarts, seemingly unaware of anything but each other's eyes. They stared at each other lovingly for a few seconds, the dark haired boy reaching for the other's hand, and then ever so slowly their faces moved together in a sweet, loving kiss. And yet Harry was entirely unable to comprehend that this was real. The two boys were Sirius Black and Remus Lupin.

After a minute of desperate staring, Harry flopped down onto Sirius' bed, a light cloud of dust flying into the air. Sirius and Remus. They were gay. They had been a couple. They were together. Suddenly desperate to know more, to know everything, Harry examined the photo frame. It had felt oddly thick and heavy in his hand, and now he saw that the frame was indeed much thicker than usual. The back didn't even seem to come near touching the photo. 'Weak hiding place, Sirius.' Harry thought, sliding the back out. A slim, leather bound book fell out and hit the floor with a 'whumph' noise, falling with the words 'The Super Duper Mega Secret Diary Of Sirius Orion Black' face up, embossed in gold on the cover. Harry picked up the book, meaning to replace it in the photo frame, but instead he found himself opening it, his eyes fixing themselves to the first page without his permission, absorbing the messy cursive handwriting transfixedly.

December 25, 5th year, read the date.

Well, Loony-Moony-fo-Foony gave me this diary for christmas, so I may as well use it. I rather think he meant it for scholastic purposes, but Remus knows I don't study. It makes me break out in a rash. And we wouldn't want my perfect skin blemished, now would we?

As you may have guessed from the inscription on your cover (Thanks again to Moonbeam for helping me.) I am Sirius Black, and you are my diary. I feel rather girly having a diary, but then again, I'm Sirius Black, macho man of the Gryffindor Tower. I'm allowed to be girly. It keeps me looking my best for the ladies.

I have four best mates; James "Prongs, I'm A Stupid Poncy Stag" Potter, Peter "Wormtail" Pettigrew, and Remus "Moony/Moonbeam/Moonlight/whatever else I can think of to annoy him, as he is hilarious when he's contemplating my murder." Lupin. My nicknames are "Padfoot," and "Hairy Mutt," if you're curious. We're all animagi illegally (three guesses to what we all are) except Moonshine, he's a werewolf, and the reason we became animagi. Or is it animaguses? You know, I've been one for six months, and I still have no idea what the plural is. I'll ask Prongs later. Anyway, collectively, we're known as The Marauders, scourge of teachers, prefects, and grotty Slytherins everywhere. The only exceptions from those rules are Moonchild, who just made prefect, and Lily Evans, who dear Prongsie-Wongsie has the hots for.

Well, today's christmas. We just finished exchanging presents, and now Moonface is reading by the fire, Prongs is stuffing his face with sweets, and Wormtail is watering the plant Remus gave him. Poor boy's hopeless at keeping anything alive, but maybe he'll manage this year. I sincerely doubt it.

I got a brilliant new motorbike poster from James, it's a beauty... red, with a nice bikini wearing bird on it. There's one for the wall at home. I'm getting myself a bike as soon as I can afford one. Wormtail gives the best presents, he gave me a huge box full of prank stuff and sweets. Fantastic boy. Moon-moon-moony moon, as usual, gave me a book. I'm actually going to use this one though. Not for studying. Moonflower isn't as smart as we all tease him for being if he really thinks I'll use this for study.

I'm rubbish at presents most of the time, but I outdid myself this year. I gave Prongs a bunch of Quidditch memoribilia, posters and figurines and junk. His parents will kill me, his walls are already plastered with posters of Quidditch, or of girls, or of girls playing Quidditch. Prongs loved them though. I got Moony a book, as usual. Not creative, but he seems to like it. I got Wormtail a new chess set; he's bloody marvellous at it, but his old set was all worn out and old, they could barely beat each other off the board.

So who wins at gift giving this year?

Sirius Black. That's who.

I got the usual present from my family this year; a dirty look from my brother, and something evil looking from my mother. Threw both of them in the fire, where they belong.

Oh crap, Prongsie spotted Lily.

I had better stop writing, all hell is about to break loose.

-Sirius.

A/N: Short first chapter XD Mostly cuz I have to be ready to leave for the weekend in an hour. -eep- enjoy, more to come!