"Asakura Ryoko"
The words shot through my skull like a bullet propelled by the full force of a nuclear explosion. The mention of that girl sent shivers down my spine which were in turn, shivering.
"The one who tried to kill me?!" I blurted out. Nagato-san raised an eyebrow.
"Did she?" She asked. Though her voice was emotionless, she got her message across: 'Don't lose your cover'.
"I mean, I've been dying to find out whether or not her hair is naturally blue!" I quickly replied, even though I didn't know why I needed to do this when the cat was already out of the bag.
"You have to leave now."
I hurriedly got up and threw on the clothes from the day before. Nagato-san didn't seem to notice that I hadn't asked why the appearance of Asakura Ryoko would force us to leave. If we were that short on time, then the blue haired beauty/psycho must've been really out for blood this time.
My mind flashed back to that crazy classroom on that fateful day. The silent girl's crimson blood after five steel girders had been forcibly added to her delicate frame.
And now, Haruhi was here, too.
I may not be an alien or esper, or even a fighter of any sort, but I wasn't about to let two people I cared about get hurt by some deranged space invader!
…This is completely out of character for me. I'll probably change my mind after the first attack, but for now, I have to do this.
"Nagato-san, get Haruhi out of here. I'll hold Asakura back." I said, trying to sound like King Arthur talking to his knights when I actually felt like a Tudor peasant faced with the guillotine.
The lavender-haired girl stared at me with an emotion I couldn't place. Shock? Disbelief? Pity? Ridicule? It didn't matter.
However, all she said was two words:
"Be careful."
I hoped it wasn't the latter, my confidence was already hiding behind a mental image of Haruhi.
I stepped out into the main room, totally prepared for another psychedelic disco-world like last time. Instead, all that greeted me was the same calm scene as usual, except with our blue-haired alien visitor sitting at the kotatsu, quietly sipping tea.
"Greetings, Suzumiya-sama." She smiled in a way that would melt most people's hearts. It sent daggers through mine.
…Wait. She called me Suzumiya. So that means… she doesn't know about the switch.
I realised why Nagato-san had made me keep my cover. If she thought of me as the universe's golden potential for autoevolution, the chance that she'd kill me would be very slim. Things were looking up. Though in the case I was already trapped in a pit of death, it wouldn't matter which way I looked.
"Wake up." I could hear the book-loving alien's voice coming from the spare room.
"Ack! Yuki! You didn't…see what I was doing…did you?"
"That does not matter at this moment. For now I will assist you in escaping from this building."
"W-w-what? A-are you t-trying to take me on s-s-some sort of romantic m-midnight stroll?"
"Stay close."
"Would you like a seat?" Asakura continued to speak, retaining her previous façade. I cautiously sat down.
"Please, have a drink." She offered me a cup of tea. Not daring to refuse, I gulped it all down. It was stone cold, like the server's heart. If she had one, that is.
Her smile unwavering, she took the cup and refilled it without missing a beat, passing it back to me.
As I drank, I couldn't bear to look at her face, so I stared out through the glass balcony doors into the darkness. Just how had this girl come back? Maybe every star in the night sky was our enemy now.
I put the cup down again, and it was refilled with machine-like precision. The tension was so thick, you could cut it with a knife. Though what worried me was just what else was going to be cut with one.
Still, the blue-haired girl's unbreaking smile continued. All happy on the outside and twisted on the inside, just like a brown-haired cleaver girl living in Hinamizawa, long-haired schoolgirl with boyfriend problems and a private yacht, or red-haired older twin maid who was terrible at cleaning. All game references aside, I once again drank the tea. I was full – no way I could drink any more. Come to think of it, this is exactly the same as that time with Nagato-san. Was it some kind of alien acceptance ritual?
Note to self: Never invite Kimidori Emiri out for a drink.
"Well then, to business." Asakura spoke, her voice menacing for the sole reason that there wasn't a trace of malice in it.
"Suzumiya Haruhi… I have something very important to tell you."
She opened her eyes and stared right into mine. What was she about to say? Don't tell me she knew about the switch all along and was going to kill me? Or maybe she already used some alien ninja maneuver to kill Haruhi while I was drinking tea?
"The truth is… you are what humans would call, 'a god'."
…Ah. Old news.
I widened my eyes with pretend shock. Best play along for now.
"Huh?" I replied, keeping it simple.
"You have the amazing ability to control the rules of reality around you. Anything that you wish could come true."
This was quite a bit simpler than that unruly info-dump that Nagato-san told me. Possibly because Asakura was capable of acting more human? Now why didn't Nagato receive that trait?
"What kind of joke is this?"
"I thought you might find it a bit hard to believe, but I can prove it to you right here. That's because I'm actually an alien."
"O-kaaayyy…" I put up a confused face, trying to hide my fear as Asakura-san slowly stood up.
"I'll keep it simple for now…" She closed her eyes, and held her hands to her chest, before speaking with a clear voice, "Transform!"
Nobody could take that seriously, coming from a high school girl. But I knew that this was coming from an alien. Was she going to show me her true form? Would it be something with long white hair, six white wings, and a giant sword? Or maybe a being of dark matter who swore to combat spiral life forms?
I could only ready myself while I watched her form become engulfed with a white light, and slowly change shape…
To another completely ordinary-looking person.
"See? Instantaneous structural reformation is not possible with human's current technology level, so…"
I had to say something. Quickly.
"…So what?" I blurted out. "You just look like a different person. Nothing special about that. I mean, Clark Kent can do that just by taking off his glasses! Nothing about this means you're not a human!"
Her smile wavered.
"Well then… How about this?"
She picked up the table, and it seemed to melt in her hands, the liquid-like remains swirling around in the air and taking the shape of a long, sharp sword.
"…Amazing what they can do with nanotechnology these days, isn't it?" I tried my best to smile.
"…Something's strange about you. Wouldn't you be the sort of person to willingly accept the fact that we exist?" She leered at me. Uh-oh.
"Well, you see…" I straightened by back and laughed. A bold, hearty, I-hope-she-doesn't-realise-I'm-actually-really-really-scared, type of laugh. "I was just messing with you! The truth is, this is old news! I already know that aliens, time travellers, and espers exist!"
"H-huh?" She gave a polite smile. But she definitely seemed surprised.
"I've been back in time, I've walked through closed space, seen data manipulation with my own hands, and it's all gotten old! If you just came here to tell me that, then you've seriously wasted your time!" I was going to slam my hand on the table for emphasis, but then I realised it was currently sharp and metallic, and in Asakura's hand.
Meanwhile, her face was pale.
"W-what? I… was not informed of this…" She looked away nervously.
"I can't go back and say I've failed my mission… I need to provoke a reaction somehow…"
"Well, nothing you do can surprise me now, so why don't you just leave?" I yelled, slowly becoming more confident. It seemed I was in control now - I can see why Haruhi likes it so much.
"Well then…" She suddenly looked up at me. With the cold, emotionless eyes that I still have nightmares about. "In that case, has your friend told you about the time I tried to kill him?"
"…H-he may have… mentioned it…"
"You wouldn't want that to really happen, would you?" She grinned, moving her fingers along the edge of the blade in her hands.
"O-of course not!" I replied, not quite knowing why. I was supposed to be acting in control. But that face of hers… those eyes… it was like the classroom all over again… except, worse.
I turned around and bolted for the door to the spare room.
I quickly turned around and locked it tight – not much good it would do, but it made me feel a bit safer.
There was a gentle knocking on it.
"Suzumiya-san, what's wrong?"
I didn't reply. Instead, I was staring at the two people in the room. Two people who should have left by now.
"W-what are you still doing in here?" I hissed.
"There has been a data isolation barrier imposed upon this space. Deactivation without damage to surrounding living tissue would inevitably cause chronological impedement."
I think she basically meant was, we were trapped and she needed time to get rid of the barrier.
"Do not worry. It is almost finished."
Nagato's hand was raised toward the fire escape, and she was talking at a speed to fast for human minds to interpret, though I doubt it would have made a difference even if she spoke wooooorrrrd by woooordd.
"Hey, Kyon… what's going on?" Haruhi looked at me.
"...Uhhh… the psychopathic killer on the news just broke into the apartment."
"What psychopathic killer on the news?!"
"Do you think I would joke about something like this?"
"…Finished." Nagato finally said, and opened the window.
"There is no time. Use the fire escape, I will try and delay Asakura, but I sense that her processing capacity has more than doubled since the previous occasion."
Nagato pushed us out the window onto the metal fire escape and was gone before Haruhi could fire off a question. It was raining domestic animals outside; water buffeted the ground with the intensity that caused the forty day flood, and I was going to need a bigger boat. Maybe a nice boat – wait, no. That's the last thing I want.
Rain soaked us to the bone the instant we stepped out of the shelter of the apartment, which unfortunately wasn't evil-alien proofed. Ignoring Haruhi's ranting, I started down the fire escape, pulling her with me, the rain and thunder effectively muting anything Haruhi had to say.
We were about halfway down when there was an explosion from the floor we were trying to escape, fire and smoke burst through the open window, only to be torn through instantly by the rain. The impact of the explosion rocked the entire building, and I felt Haruhi's hand leave mine as we lost our balance, and failed to regain composure on the rain slicked surface of the grating.
The second explosion didn't help; maybe it was the fact that we were already off balance, but it seemed to affect the building with ten times the intensity. With a yelp, Haruhi was sent over the railing towards a death that even she didn't deserve. The only thing that stood between her and certain death was her own hands.
"Kyon! Hurry up and save me!"
Easy for you to say.
I grabbed her hand and pulled with all my strength, no dice. It was hopeless, I couldn't even lift her an inch up the ledge. Was I really that heavy? I never imagined Haruhi to be this weak. C'mon, you're supposed to be an ace at every sporting event in existence. Where's the strength that hit the world-class pitch that the rest of us failed to even to connect with? Where's the strength that turned the computer society president into a human cannonball? Where's the strength that forces Asahina-san into her….wait, scratch that.
Dammit Kyon, now's not the time to lament, now pull yourself up! Lightning continued to sever the sky overhead, thunder continued to pierce our resolve, rain buffeting our bodies with an intensity that would make even Noah himself shudder in fear. Then, the worst thing possible happened… the ledge below me gave out.
A third explosion combined with Haruhi's…I mean my weight caused the fire escape to be ripped from the frame of the building. We screamed at the top of our lungs as the metal structure designed for safety began its ironically deadly plunge towards the ground. As the angle of the fire escape directed my eyes to the sky, I saw Nagato flying through the air, her clothes in tatters from the beating she had taken at the hands of Asakura, the third explosion propelling her out the window.
My eyes met hers as the three of us fell, and Nagato's body started to glow with a faint aura. The panic induced by the fall may have caused me to hallucinate, but Nagato was not actually falling, but flying towards us, the aura surrounding her growing increasingly brighter and gaining a rainbow tinge.
"Y-Yuki! How can you-!?" Haruhi's words were left 5 feet in the air above as the ground rushed up towards us. Nagato's glow intensified ten fold as we were moments away from meeting the unwelcoming gravel. She disappeared, leaving a blur in the spot where she used to be, appearing next to me and Haruhi before my brain could process the fact that she had moved. Grabbing both our hands, Nagato moved, and I felt like I was being jerked out of the dimension. My neck and shoulder were closer to being ripped out of their sockets in that millisecond than they ever had been in my entire life.
Nagato set us down in the middle of the street, the fire escape crashing to the earth like the slain Cyclops. Nagato collapsed, exhausted. She was heavily wounded, but her breathing was stable. Naturally I was worried, but there was no time to worry about that now. Ryoko Asakura had appeared right in front of us.
A/N:
Cerium Radonide:
Right. Sorry for the delay. I had to heavily edit his part cause Kite deviated from our original plan, and then he had the nerve to upload the original, unedited script without asking me! Graagghhh.
Big props to anyone who recognised all three yanderes (Kite-I recognised them…) I referenced in that tea-drinking scene, and any other references I put in.
The fight scene was supposed to be this chapter, but lots of stuff happened and it got delayed. Oh well. It's called 'dramatic tension'!
PS: I was listening to 'COOL EDITION' the whole time while writing this to get me in the mood _
Kite Impulse:
All I can say is my brilliant plan to finally get Cerium off his ass worked. (or on his ass depending on how you look at it…) TsundereYandere
Credits:
Apartment scene written by Cerium
Escape scene written by Kite
Reference spamming by Cerium
Massive delay by Cerium
Resurrection prompt by Kite
Edited by Cerium and then further edited by Kite
School Days, Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann, Tsukihime, Higurashi No Kokoro Ni and The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya are registered trademarks of their respective owners (who unfortunately are not the writers of this fic).