St. Mungo's Anatomy

Title Explanation: I thought I was being funny so it's a twist of Grey's Anatomy. (You know cause they work at Seattle Grey's Hospital and in this fic Draco and Hermione work at St. Mungo's) Haha ok so it's not that funny. Anyway enjoy!

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"Ginny- it truly was the WORST date of my life. His car broke down and he made ME get out and push. We missed our reservation at that new restaurant I've been dying to go to AND then we ended up at O'Connor's pub where he got totally and utterly sloshed. He then referred to me as 'Herminion' while he belted out Celine Dion karaoke. I've never been so humiliated in my life." Hermione grunted as she collapsed on the couch in the center of her shared flat with Ginny.

"I'm really surprised Hermione," Ginny shared a disappointed sigh with her frustrated best friend. "I really thought that you and Mike would hit it off."

"Apparently not." Hermione kicked her now ruined heels off. "It's alright Ginny, I'll just die alone, unsuccessful, and miserable. With several hundred cats."

"Unsuccessful my arse. Explain to me how being a healer is considered unsuccessful?"

"Fine then. I'll die alone, SUCCESSFUL, and miserable."

"With several hundred cats" Ginny added with a laugh

Hermione was glad she had Ginny around. Being best friends with Harry and Ron was nice of course but she didn't think she could survive without her two flat mates. Speaking of which… "Gin, where is Luna?"

"Oh she had a date with….someone. I forget his name. It's something foreign. Anyway she said she would be home around 11:00."

"Ah well hopefully she's having a good time. Maybe one of us will have had a good date this week."

"At least you had a date, Mione. My love life is slower then it's ever been." Ginny was still harboring a crush for one Harry Potter. Too bad said Harry Potter has a girlfriend. And finding a man who lived up to the 'Boy Who Lived' was definitely a challenge. Ginny had a habit of comparing every man she met to him.

"Well Gin, if you want I could set you up with someone from my office."

"Hmm I could see myself with a healer. Alright tell me about him." Hermione laughed. She knew that Ginny accepted dates only to dump the guy with some excuse about a non-existent or a minor flaw. Everyone knew about her continuous crush on Harry except of course Harry.

"Alright well he's Italian."

"Hmm sounds good so far" She tried to recall if Harry was Italian. She thought it was a possibility. She would need to ask him.

"He's drop dead gorgeous."

"Sounds very good so far."

"He's traveled basically everywhere and he has a remarkable sense of humor."

"And he's single?"

"Yup."

"If he is so great then why is he single?"

"He just broke up with his girlfriend of 2 years."

"Why'd they break up?"

"She cheated on him. He was devastated. But if you ask me his girlfriend was a lying cheating little bi-"

"Hermione! Focus! Now tell me what's his name?"

"Well Gin I think you already know him…"

"How?"

"He went to Hogwarts. He was in my year….Blaise Zabini?"

"I don't remember him…"

"Yeah he was more reserved then the rest of the Slytherins."

"Slytherin? He's a Slytherin?"

"Yes. I didn't think that would be too much of a problem. I mean you did date that other Slytherin, that slimy little midget, Santorum Renaldo."

"It's not that I have anything against Slytherins, I'm just surprised that YOU would recommend one."

"Well they aren't all gits."

"Only most of them?"

"Exactly."

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"Okay Zabini, you owe me ten. Goyle, you owe me sixteen. Crabbe, I owe you five and last but not least Avery, you owe me thirty."

"Wait wait wait. How did I end up owing you thirty, Malfoy? I won!"

"Unfortunately, Avery, the point of pool is to get the balls into the pockets. Not just by hitting them hard enough so that they fly off the table. I mean honestly if you are going to challenge me to a muggle activity at least know how to play it."

"Alright Malfoy, if you think you are so great then I challenge you to chess." Blaise couldn't help but chuckle at his friends. Malfoy always had to be the winner, and most of the time he was. Avery, the youngest by two years, was always the sore loser. Although it didn't help that he had no real desire to listen to any of the rules no matter what game they were playing.

"Wizard or muggle?" Draco replied to the oldest Avery son. Avery pissed him off a lot but the kid had spunk and wasn't too dull either and besides he liked having someone around who he could always count on to be the loser.

"Which is harder?"

"They are basically the same. One is just more violent." Goyle chirped in. Goyle would gladly take any opportunities he could get to prove that he brain actually did function. Crabbe on the other hand…

"I pick violence!" Avery said a little too enthusiastically. Then again they were Slytherins so this was expected.

"Alright. You're on"

"So Goyle, how's it going with Mandy Brocklehurst?" Blaise asked in attempt to direct the topic of conversation away from these tedious arguments.

"Yeah is it true Ravenclaws are the best shag?" Draco questioned with a smirk. Of course if any of them knew it would probably be Draco as he had dated more women the any of the rest.

"As if you wouldn't know Malfoy. You've nearly shagged every witch in our year not to mention the year below and above us." Blaise added to counter Malfoy.

"You say that like it's a bad thing."

Blaise laughed and the rest had to join in. If anyone had decided to sit in on the activities of this group then it would seem Malfoy was king. And they wouldn't be too far off. To put it shortly, Malfoy was desired. Girls swooned at the site of him. Maybe it was his perfect hair or maybe his stormy eyes. Or maybe he perfectly toned body. It didn't hurt that he was richer then god and had a kick-ass career. This group of rowdy boys certainly had changed since their Hogwarts days. Malfoy was no longer a suck up to his father or even prejudice about blood. He certainly had grown up. Blaise also had made a drastic change since school. No longer a nerd but an outspoken philosopher. Well maybe not a philosopher but definitely an intellect. That's why Draco really enjoyed Blaise's company because it was nice to be able to have someone to discuss real issues with. That's why they were best friends.

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"Name?"

"Nick Stebbins"

"Ok Mr. Stebbins. Where does it hurt?"

"Please call me Nick."

"Alright then Nick, could you tell me where it hurts?" Hermione was tired from her long days of work but she always tried to make sure it didn't show. She knew that she was being considered for head healer and she would do anything to get that position. Even if it meant receiving unwanted flirting from her patients.

"Well I was on my motorcycle and I crashed and I hurt my leg. But my heart might be in danger."

"Why is that?"

"Well it might break if you have a boyfriend."

There it was. It wasn't completely unusual for guys to hit on her. She had definitely changed since Hogwarts. She had grown into herself. But her personality was the same. She was the same hard working, brilliant witch that she always way.

"Well Mr. Stebbins"

"Nick."

"Well Nick, I think your heart will be just fine. However your leg does look serious."

"So you don't have a boyfriend?"

"Not that I know of. But your leg"

"Is fine. Now lets get back to the topic of your lack of a boyfriend."

"Your leg is not fine. It looks like it could be seriously broken."

"It's just a scratch. So dinner. You. Me. Saturday night?"

"No thank you but sir, if you don't let me fix your leg then you will probably need surgery!"

"Aw come on sweetie, I'll make it worth your while."

"I believe the lady said no." Hermione turned around to see who had decided to come to her rescue. Let's just say her rescuer was far from any prince charming.

Ugh. "What do you want Malfoy?"

"Granger, darling, the boss wants to see you in his office pronto. I'll take it from here."

Hermione couldn't help but sneer at the one other healer at St. Mungo's who had a chance at the promotion that she wanted. As much as she would like to deny it Hermione knew that Draco was a very talented healer and was definitely intelligent. She also couldn't deny that Draco was handsome. To SOME people. I mean he had definitely gotten over his greased up hair stage and she had possibly noticed his perfect body at the company barbecue and swim party. But that didn't change her opinion on that arrogant little slime ball. Hermione handed- well more like shoved- the clipboard and form of Mr. Nick 'the prick' Stebbins into the hands of said Malferret. She could only hope this meeting with her boss would lighten her now quite frustrated mood.

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"Sir, you wanted to see me?" Hermione poked her head into the office of her boss, Mr. Baruffio, namesake of Baruffio's Brain Elixir. (As if he would ever let them forget it)

"Yes-Hermione would you mind taking a seat?" Hermione pulled up a seat behind his desk, trying to read his face to see what exactly this meeting entailed. She hoped it would be about the possibility that he decided to retire and pick her for chief of staff.

"As you know, I've decided to retire by the end of this year and I need to pick my replacement."

YES.YES.YES!

"And this concerns you because-"

HERE IT COMES. Hermione had waited for this moment ever since she had discovered there was such a thing as magic.

"every member of the staff will be asked to make a recommendation on who they think should replace me."

DHGHDFGD! Couldn't he just decide to pick her already?

"Oh. I see…do you need my recommendation now?"

"I'd appreciate it. It's not a huge deal, I just wouldn't want to pick someone who the rest of the staff didn't approve of."

"Ah I see. Well if I was to be so bold, sir, I would actually like to recommend myself. You see, sir, I normally wouldn't do this but I just feel that I deserve it, having worked more hours in the past year then any of my fellow coworkers, I really feel I know this hospital."

"I see. Well Ms. Granger, I usually wouldn't do this but I would like to inform you that you are one of the top candidates for the position."

"Why thank you sir!"

"Along with Mr. Zabini and Mr. Malfoy of course"

God damn it! She knew Mr. Baruffio had always liked Malfoy. I mean he always told him that he was like the son he never had. Well if that prick gets the position over her then she would quit or do something slightly less extreme but still do something that moderately made a statement.

"Well I do hope you will pick me but in the meantime I should get back to work. I have a very stubborn patient in room 205 who is resisting his medication."

"Thank you very much Ms. Granger. If you wouldn't mind would you tell Mr. Zabini to come see me?"

"No problem."

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"Hey Hermione."

"Oh hey Katie." Katie Bell, well now Mrs. George Weasley, was also a healer at St. Mungo's and happened to have the locker next to Hermione's.

"Some of the other healers and I are going out for drinks. Are you in?"

"Sure sounds good. Mind if I invite Ginny and Luna?"

"Well George is coming so that basically means every Weasley sibling is coming so I'd assume she already knows."

Hermione couldn't help but laugh because it was true. The entire Weasley family was a packaged deal. You took one of them and you got them all. (as well as receiving Harry, Luna, and of course Hermione who were all considered part of the Weasley brood)

"So where are we meeting?" Hermione asked as she pulled her scrubs off and placed them in her locker.

"We decided to try some place new. Ever heard of 'The Cat's Meow'?"

"Is that right next to Madam Malkin's?"

"Yeah I think so. Meet us there at 8?"

"Sounds good. I need to go home and shower first. I smell like blood, coffee and piss."

"Yeah you really do"

"Great" Hermione laughed as she pulled her hair back into a ponytail.

"Ok I'm going to go buy a birthday present for Molly but I'll see you at 8"

"Alright see you soon Katie."

"You too."

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"Ginny? Hermione? Luna? Anyone home?" Harry poked his head into their apartment, looking around to see if one of the girls were home.

"Oh hi Harry!" Ginny mentally slapped herself for sounding pathetically eager.

"Are you the only one home?"

"Nope. Luna's home but in the shower and I think Hermione should be getting home soon."

"Nice anyway I came over to see if one of you wanted to accompany me to a Weird Sisters concert tomorrow. I have an extra ticket."

"Since when do you like the Weird Sisters?"

"I don't but Susan does"

Ginny inwardly cringed at the name of that she-witch, Susan Bones, the current girlfriend of Harry.

"Why isn't she going with you?"

"She got a last minute invitation to some wedding in France."

"Oh."

"So do you want to come with me? It will be really fun. We can buy some drinks and scream along with lots of pre-teen girls. Oh and if we have time we can go and buy one of those giant pretzels that you like so much"

"Harry, I'd love to but I sort of have a date tomorrow."

"Really? That's fantastic! With whom?"

"Blaise Zabini….but I could reschedule!" Ginny knew Hermione and Luna would never approve of this but she really did like Harry and as much as they would try and convince her she couldn't accept that he had a girlfriend.

"Aw Gin it's okay. I wouldn't want you to do that. Maybe Luna or Hermione will be available." Ginny had hoped he would have been as excited to hang out with her as she was with him.

"Yeah, maybe." Ginny hoped her disappointment wasn't visible on face.

"Well Gin, do you think you can pass among the memo? I should probably get home. You know how Susan gets, always one to jump to conclusions." Harry laughed as he ruffled his eternally messy (but sexy) hair.

"Harry, wait!"

"Yeah Gin?"

"I…" uh shit what should she say. Oh gosh he's looking at her. THINK GINNY THINK! "I miss hanging out with you." Oh nice. Not too needy but could be interpreted in a more then friends way.

"I miss you too." He said he missed her! Not even missed hanging out with her but missed her! That's an even better sign, right? She knew she was smiling and probably looked ridiculous but she couldn't help it.

"Gin, come here" Harry pulled her into a huge bear hug. "You have no idea what I'd do without you" Ginny could have melted right there in his arms.

"Ginny? Luna? I'm home!" Hermione called. She walked into the living room and saw Harry and Ginny hugging quite intimately. She didn't know whether to reveal she was there or let them be. They were just standing there, hugging. It didn't look like they had any intentions to release each other. Then Hermione realized that Harry had a girlfriend and prolonging this would probably end up hurting Ginny more.

"Hey guys" Hermione said a bit too loudly which caused Ginny and Harry to quickly break apart.

"Hey Hermione. How was work?" Harry asked.

"Hey 'Mione" Ginny managed to say while sneaking peeks at Harry.

"Work was long as usual. I had a lot of very difficult patients today, one even asked me to marry him. Although he was 85 so he forgot rather quickly. Anyway I'm going out to drinks with some coworkers, anyone want to join?"

"I'd love to but I can't. I have to head home to Susan, she's leaving tomorrow morning for France. Speaking of which any chance you're free tomorrow night?"

"Sorry I'm on-call all tomorrow. Ginny are you up for drinks? I bet Blaise will be there. That way you can actually meet him before your date."

"Oh uh no thanks. I'm not feeling too well. I actually just want to go to bed."

"Anyway I need to head home. Bye guys!" Harry said as he hugged both girls goodnight. Although one hug lasted a bit longer then most friendly hugs should last.

"I think I'm going to head to bed. Night Hermione."

"Night Ginny."

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Hermione walked down diagonal alley, angry with herself for not taking a taxi here because her shoes were making her feet hurt and she was getting rather cold.

"Hermione!"

"Wait up!" Hermione turned around upon hearing the voices of both Katie and her husband, George. George couldn't resist enveloping Hermione into a big bear hug-nearly cutting off her supply of oxygen.

"Mione Monster! Haven't seen you in ages!" Leave it to George to think of the stupidest nicknames.

"Mione Monster? And what do you mean I haven't seen you in ages? I saw you two days ago at brunch!"

"Yes exactly. Two days is a long time. And I assumed Mione Monster would be well received over past nicknames such as Grungy Granger and Hungry Hermy!" Katie tried to hold in a laugh, although her husband's immaturity was actually quite funny in an embarrassing kind of way.

"George Weasley your mind is equivalent to that of a five year old."

"Thank you. Oh look we're here" George made a point of opening the door to the bar quite slowly.

"Hurry it up George"

"Yeah Weasley, Hurry Up"

Hermione snapped her head around to the unwelcome sight of one Draco Malfoy.

"Ah Granger, how marvelous to see you. Your stench has improved so much."

"First off- you didn't smell so great yourself. And secondly, SOD OFF Malfoy."

"Oh Granger, the sooner you admit you are completely and utterly head over heels in love with me, the better. That way we can skip this bloody banter and get right to shagging."

"Malfoy I wouldn't shag you if you were the last man on earth and the entire future of the species depended on it."

"Aw Granger, you hurt my feelings."

"Damn I meant to hurt your ego."

"Oy, would you two cut it out? We're trying to enjoy ourselves." Blaise said as he ordered a round of drinks for everyone.

"Anyway like I was saying-apparently Sheryl from Creature-Induced Injurieswas told that the boss has three possible candidates in mind for his job." Katie said

"Oh yeah he told me that too." Hermione added, "He actually told me who."

"Well bloody tell us! I mean we know one of them has to be you, Miss. Workaholic." Dean added with a laugh.

"Well yes he did mention me. But he also mentioned Blaise."

"He did? Congrats mate!" George said as he patted Blaise on the back.

"So whose the last one?" Katie added.

"Well obviously it's his ickle little Drakie." Blaise joked as he ruffled Draco's near perfect hair. Luckily for Draco his hair fell back into an even sexier position then before. This didn't go unnoticed along the female doctors.

"Yes, unfortunately, it was Malfoy" Hermione confirmed as she rolled her eyes towards Malfoy.

"Good job Draco" Marietta Edgecombe added with a saucy wink. Draco returned her flirting with his smile, which has been known to cause women of all ages to swoon. Hermione nearly gagged at the desperation of the women sitting across from her. Marietta was only one of the few women in the hospital who hadn't slept with Draco yet but it seemed she would soon. In fact she was the only nurse in all of St. Mungo's that had yet spent a night in his amazing pent house. Marietta eagerly batted her eyelashes in his direction causing Hermione to have to suppress more gags.

"Alright I'm going to head out." Hermione said as she put her scarf on.

"I think I will as well." Draco added as he stood up.

Hermione walked out the door only to be called back, "Granger, wait up!"

"Ugh, what do you want Malfoy?"

"Look we both know that promotion is down to the two of us."

"It's only down to the two of us Malfoy because our boss is a tad bit sexist. He always asks me to get his coffee or do him a favor. Does he ever ask you or Blaise? It's completely unfair because I work twice as hard as both you, Blaise, Dean and Seamus combined."

"Granger, you may work harder then Seamus, Thomas or Blaise but I'll let you know I've worked as many hours and as many shifts as you have in the past year."

"That's not true! I spend more hours then you do!"

"Yes but I work Sundays and you don't!"

"That's not fair. I can't work Sundays because you know perfectly well I have to help take care of my grandmother."

"Whatever Granger. I just wanted to say let the best man win."

"You mean best woman."

"Of course I don't. I'd never let a woman beat me." Draco joked and Hermione couldn't help but realize his laugh was infectious, too bad she still wanted to knock his face in.

"Anyway good night Granger."

"Good night Malfoy."

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Author's Note: So what do you guys think? Funny? Stupid? Want to kill me? Let me know! The more reviews I get….the sexier Draco is

:D

Also, with the exception of two names (Mike and Santorum Renaldo santorum by the way means 'ass hole' in Latin which I thought was appropriate) all of the names are actually from the books…at least all the last names. I had to improvise a few names. But I spent a lot of time checking out names from wikipedia's list of all the HP characters which was pretty sweet. Anyway thanks so much for reading. Sorry my grammar sucks!

Disclaimer: I DON'T own Harry Potter. Or Draco….sadly. But if I did I'd be rich. Cha-ching!