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Summary: Some things canÕt be avoided...Spoilers: The Red and the Black...Rating: Vignette, G... ScullyAngst, I guess...
Five Watchers (1/1)by Sheryl Martin
I remember my father telling me to not break promises.
His hands would be deep in his pockets as we walked on the sidewalk to school or to church as he recited his own personal mantra of how we Scullys were bound by honour to keep our promises; no matter what. And to not make them if we knew we couldnÕt keep them.
I promised that then.
IÕve broken it now.
I have made a promise that I know will be broken; know it will happen sooner or later, that I will betray the trust put in me.
And I canÕt stop it.
They are outside my window right now, watching me as I lie in bed and contemplate my fatherÕs words.
My five watchers.
They are with me day and night, always present in my mindÕs eye if not always visible.
My partner took my hand in his; sitting beside me on the hospital bed so close that I thought for a minute that he was going to swing his legs up and curl around me for a lifetime of safety. And he made me promise that if I had that feeling again; that sense of urgency to go somewhere at some time that I would call him, call 911 - anything.
I nodded then; feeling the sting of new skin stretched taut over the burns I had suffered and wondering if there was any truth to what he was telling me.
I didn't want to believe.
But my science traps me in the same web as Mulder's; and it would be unfair to him to not hold myself to the same truths.
They will call me.
Some day, some night - when I am working or playing on the computer or taking a bath. I will feel the sensation at the back of my neck and I will go blindly, as I did that time.
I told Mulder I didn't remember anything; only going to sleep that night and then waking up as they transferred me to the burn unit in the hospital.
I told him the truth.
Then I lied.
Because my five watchers are outside my window again tonight; staring down at me as surely as the men watching Mulder and myself.
And I know that some day they will call.
And I will not pick up the phone; I will not drive to his apartment; I will not fight the fate that awaits me.
I will go to my fate like the sheep that I have become to these men; the test rabbit that at the end is expendable after all else has been said and done.
I will not call Mulder.
I will want to. I will want to scream his name; scratch my last message across the scorched earth with broken nails; curl up in his arms as the fire storm overtakes us both and shrivels the flesh from our bones.
But I won't.
And that is the worst of all deaths; breaking my promise to Mulder.
At least to me.
The sky is cloudy tonight. They can't possibly see me. Not at this moment.
My fingers dance over the phone; tapping out a familiar number. It rings twice before being snatched up, the voice gruff and hoarse.
"Mulder..."
My mouth is too dry to speak.
"Hello?"
I cannot say what I want to; what I must. I cannot.
"Scully?"
My father's words echo behind me as I try to clear my throat and fail.
"Hang on - I'm on my way over..." The line goes dead.
Maybe tonight I can at least follow another of my father's truths.
To tell the truth as much as I can.
And this truth has been silent too long; covered since Antarctica.
Tonight I will tell him. In ten minutes when he bursts through that door in panic and fear; thinking my watchers have taken me again.
One night they will.
But not before I tell him the truth about us. About me; about what I feel for him.
Time is not on my side. And the clouds are beginning to lift and my five watchers are stirring; restless in their wait for attention.
But maybe there's time enough for this.
*************
the end...