What Naruto Can't have in his Funeral

-Requested by Youaresotroublesome-

What Naruto Can't have in his Funeral

Naruto:

I cannot have my funeral at Ichiraku Ramen

I cannot have a poster of ramen hanging on the wall.

I cannot invite Sasuke.

I cannot have my corpse in make up

I cannot have Konohamaru attend in Sexy no Jutsu form.

I cannot have a fountain of Ramen at my funeral

I cannot have #6 without anyone mistaking my funeral for a restaurant.

I cannot have Hinata attend without blowing a dramatic breakdown.

I cannot have Sakura attend without kicking everyone's ass.

I cannot be sprayed with Beef Scented Perfume

I cannot hire Kakashi as the priest.

I cannot have my coffin painted orange

I cannot have the coffin made out of uncooked noodles.

I cannot have anyone re-draw my whiskers.

I cannot dye my hair white to make it seem as if I died due to very old age

I cannot have #15 without anyone attempting to check my birth certificate

I cannot rise back to life and claim I had Tsunade's age-bending jutsu.

I cannot have "BELIEVE IT" or "DATTEBAYO" tattooed into my forehead.

I cannot have one wall covered in Naruto Fanart.

I cannot have #19 without any SasuNaru fanart included.

I cannot have a radio installed in my coffin.

I cannot have the walls decorated with my name in big sparkly orange letters hanging on the ceiling.

I cannot have my corpse where heels.

I cannot have #23 without them being Tsunade's or Shizune's.

I cannot have Sakura get drunk enough to say she loves me.

I cannot have #25 without Sakura destroying everything or Hinata getting pissed.

I cannot reject the Sand's attendance.

I cannot have #27 without Gaara re-killing my corpse.

I cannot invite Orochimaru to be a nun.

I cannot have Gaarao arrange a long depressing summary speech about my life to read aloud.