-Requested by Youaresotroublesome-
What Naruto Can't have in his Funeral
Naruto:
I cannot have my funeral at Ichiraku Ramen
I cannot have a poster of ramen hanging on the wall.
I cannot invite Sasuke.
I cannot have my corpse in make up
I cannot have Konohamaru attend in Sexy no Jutsu form.
I cannot have a fountain of Ramen at my funeral
I cannot have #6 without anyone mistaking my funeral for a restaurant.
I cannot have Hinata attend without blowing a dramatic breakdown.
I cannot have Sakura attend without kicking everyone's ass.
I cannot be sprayed with Beef Scented Perfume
I cannot hire Kakashi as the priest.
I cannot have my coffin painted orange
I cannot have the coffin made out of uncooked noodles.
I cannot have anyone re-draw my whiskers.
I cannot dye my hair white to make it seem as if I died due to very old age
I cannot have #15 without anyone attempting to check my birth certificate
I cannot rise back to life and claim I had Tsunade's age-bending jutsu.
I cannot have "BELIEVE IT" or "DATTEBAYO" tattooed into my forehead.
I cannot have one wall covered in Naruto Fanart.
I cannot have #19 without any SasuNaru fanart included.
I cannot have a radio installed in my coffin.
I cannot have the walls decorated with my name in big sparkly orange letters hanging on the ceiling.
I cannot have my corpse where heels.
I cannot have #23 without them being Tsunade's or Shizune's.
I cannot have Sakura get drunk enough to say she loves me.
I cannot have #25 without Sakura destroying everything or Hinata getting pissed.
I cannot reject the Sand's attendance.
I cannot have #27 without Gaara re-killing my corpse.
I cannot invite Orochimaru to be a nun.
I cannot have Gaarao arrange a long depressing summary speech about my life to read aloud.