Perfect

Theme: Broom closet

Words: 2459

Disclaimer: Don't own Bleach or any of its subsequent merchandising

The day had been going perfectly. Well as perfectly as any day could go in a division where sake was water, pink was the new black, and testing the patience of one's Fukutaichou was both bravery and sheer stupidity.

Ise Nanao tried to contain the urge to blush, scream and run away all at once. Instead taking a deep breath and praying for patience from her throughally frazzled nerves, as she left one of the eighth divisions numerous broom closets to raucous cheering and cat calls. Why couldn't Aizen just invade Soul Society now to save her from this ultimate humiliation, she mused as she took carefully measured strides away from the crowd gathered in the hallway.

It had started as a normal day, arriving on time to the division's office and starting the paperwork already stacked ready for her to sort and sign. She'd left for her designated 10 minuet break in the morning for some tea and thus having settled into her normal routine, had waited for 12 O'clock to roll round and with it the entrance of an overly happy man, complete with pink hoari and despite appearances carefully placed hat, all wrapped into a dubiously respectable Gotie 13 Taichou.

"Ohayou! Nanao-chan!" Kyoraku Taichou exclaimed as he walked into their shared office.

Looking up from her work to glance pointedly at the clock on the wall, to return to her work, Nanao replied, "Good afternoon Taichou." Placing special emphasis on the 'afternoon'.

"My Nanao-chan is always so efficient. Can you ever forgive your tardy Taichou?" He'd apologised, with dark eyes drooped in his trademark puppy dog look.

Unwilling to show how that look affected her, Nanao had quickly looked away and mumbled something about not needing to be forgiven.

Shunsui had smirked recognising his victory and had promptly slumped onto the office couch whist asking how 'his Nanao-chan' was this fine morning. With the added mentionable's of her likeliness to the sun and other such nonsense.

And as such started her perfectly normal day, and as she left for her late afternoon training session, she had had no idea that her perfectly normal day would end perfectly disastrously.

The training had been intense but she had been impressed with the development of the division's skills and had praised them for their efforts.

She had noticed Kyoraku Taichou turn up half way through the training, as he usually did, so wasn't all that surprised when he offered to walk her back to the division head quarters, which she had accepted. However it seemed her Taichou was in a fairly scandalous mood that afternoon. Well. More than usual anyway, and had wasted no time making gradually more flirtatious comments about her person.

Being an orderly and modest person by nature, his comments had slowly worn at her patience and self-control until the two were seemingly bickering down the hallways of the eighth division. When it seemed that her Taichou needed to emphasize his words with actions, she had naturally fallen back on her first line of defence and unleashed the fan in all its glory, to keep his overzealousness at bay. Apparently this had been the first sign of the oncoming disaster.

"Ahhh! My Nanao-chan is so cruel! Why must you be so rough with me?" Kyoraku Taichou had whimpered clutching his wrist.

"If you would simply keep your wandering hands to yourself, I wouldn't have need to discourage you." She replied, carefully stowing away her weapon.

"My hands are drawn to the heat of your body. You cannot blame a man's hands for seeking warmth."

Sighing indignantly, Nanao adjusted her glasses and stopped walking to turn sharply towards her Taichou and hissed, "My body is not your hands mittens!"

Steadily Nanao noticed they had been drawing attention from other Shinigami, but quickly shifted her attention back to her Taichou as he began talking again.

"But Nanao-chan," he complained grinning slightly. "My hands would fit so well against you mitte-"

"TAICHOU!" Nanao shouted as she hit him again with her fan

"Owwwwww! Nanao-chan. So cold."

"In which case I would not be applicable to warming anything!" Nanao shot back, glancing around uncomfortably at noticing now that the other Shinigami were smirking whilst trying to act like they were not listening to their conversation.

Feeling annoyed at being a spectacle for amusement for those who were her fellow colleagues, Nanao grabbed her taichou by his sash and pulled him in to the nearest room to continue their conversation in private. Once the door closed, darkness engulfed the room.

"Yare Nanao-chan." She felt him move closer to her. "I guess it's cosy in here, but I can't see your pretty face."

Scrambling at the wall near the door, Nanao felt for the light switch. When colour was returned to the world, she found they were in none other than a cramped and dusty broom closet, complete with boxes and stacked crates against the walls.

"Hmm. Not the place I would have imagined for our first intimate moments. However what my Nanao-chan wants, she gets." He smiled, walking towards her, arms outstretched, with his ridiculous 'kissy face'. Nanao panicked and pushed him back. "Taichou! Get a hold of yourself! Despite what your unfathomable mind has conjured up, I simply wanted to get away from all the people out their more interested in our conversation than their duties."

"But, we're in a broom closet." He smiled, his eyes twinkling in mischief.

"Yes. I'm quite aware of that now." She replied in exasperation.

Pretending to look troubled, though unsuccessfully as she could still see how amused he was, her taichou tapped his finger against his lips looking thoughtful. "Are you saying my dear, sweet, intelligent Nanao-chan didn't know this was a broom closest?"

Glaring daggers from over the tops of her glasses at him, she felt her temple twitch in aggravation. "No. I did not." She quietly replied trying desperately to keep a hold on her temper.

His smile grew, his eyes laughing merrily. "Hmm. Well since I get these precious moments alone with you, I can only call your ignorance a complete fluke of genius." He chuckled.

Huffing in indignation, Nanao tried hard not to conjure images of torturing her Taichou with the loss of all his precious sake, and how much glee she would feel from it, and instead straightened her uniform, adjusted her glasses and proceeded to turn her back on him.

"I believe we should leave now Taichou. This is apparently pointless."

"Aww, Nanao-chan. The fun hasn't even beg-- ugh!"

Turning round at the grunt of surprise from her taichou, Nanao discovered a most amusing spectacle. Being a tall man, it seemed that Kyoraku had somehow tangled the ties from his hat on one of the crates around the room.

He whimpered comically as he failed to pull himself loose, and Nanao found her lips twitching and a giggle trying to fight it's was past her throat. He looked ridiculous!

"Nanao-chan. I'm stuck." He said simply, eyes downcast in misery. Nanao sometimes couldn't honestly believe that Kyoraku Shunsui was one of the oldest Captains in the Gotie 13. He acted like such a child sometimes.

"Yes Taichou. I can see that."

Pouting at her for her undesirable comment, he looked at her pleadingly with his eyes and tried half-heartedly again to pull himself free. Nanao couldn't stifle the giggle this time as he attempted to free himself by walking away, and instead nearly jerked his hat off of his head. God forbid!

Despite his situation, Shunsui could not ignore what he had just heard. "Nanao-chan. Did you just giggle?"

"Of course not!" She snapped back a little too quickly, though not with half the vehemence her voice usually held.

Grinning widely, Shunsui chuckled. "Does my Nanao-chan think this is funny?"

"It serves you right for wearing that ridiculous hat!" She replied, pushing her glasses back up her nose by the bridge.

Shunsui chuckled again louder at this betraying action, knowing it meant she was secretly amused. "But you don't deny it?"

He jerked his head again and winced as the ties didn't come loose but rather made the crates it was attached to scrape loudly against one another.

"Ne, Nanao-chan? Do you think you could help me?"

Huffing again Nanao shifted on her feet. "Why don't you just take off your hat and loosen the ties?"

"But then the crates win!" He gasped as if this was the most shocking thing ever.

Looking over at her Taichou as though he'd lost his mind, she contemplated telling him that the crates were inanimate objects, and as such would feel no such need to win anything, but stopped herself knowing it would be pointless. The man was as stubborn as a mule, and if he believed the crate would feel any kind of emotion, they'd continue to argue about it in this closet for the rest of the day.

Unable to help the twitching of her lips at the thought, she walked over and attempted to free her accosted Taichou from the evil clutches of the inanimate crate.

Looking down at her as she worked the ties of his hat loose, Shunsui allowed himself to enjoy how close she was and couldn't help but smile at her obvious amusement of his situation that she valiantly tried to hide. He shook his head slightly. She could be so cute sometimes.

"Taichou, keep still. I can't get you loose if you won't stop moving your head." She said distractedly as she focused on her task.

"Gomen."

Feeling more than uncomfortable this close to her Taichou, she tried hard to focus on freeing the tie and not to think about how warm he was or how his breath was stirring her hair, or the fact that his chest kept pressing against her shoulder every time she moved her arm.

Feeling him move closer to her and bend down so his mouth was level with her ear, she tried not to shiver as he whispered softly to her, "Ne, Nanao-chan. If you wanted to get me alone in a dark room, you could have just asked. There was no need to go to all this trouble of trapping me."

Shooting him a cold glare, Nanao swallowed the gulp at how close they were.

"And I suppose I just somehow managed to get you to stand in this exact position so that you would get caught?" She did not tremble as he placed his hand gently at her waist.

"Who knows what you conjure in that devious, naughty little mind of yours." He smirked.

She sighed and snapped her fan against the hand resting on her waist.

Jerking back at her retaliation, his hat tie broke loose of the crate but pulled them free of their stacking. Nanao watched in horror as the crates started to fall towards her.

She swiftly raised her arms in a futile effort to protect herself from the looming boxes and squeezed her eyes shut.

Through the noise of the crashing and tumbling of the crates, Nanao began to realise she felt no pain. Slowly removing her arms from around her head, and cracking her eyes open, she came face to face with the confusing image of a sun browned chest. As the dust from the collapsed crates settled, she belatedly realised she was no longer standing up, but was rather on her back. She looked upwards to find a pair of deep brown eyes staring with concern down at her.

"Gomen Nanao-chan. Are you hurt?"

She blinked in confusion as she witnessed the strangest sensation of the question running along her entire body. Blinking again to clear her mind and vision, she panicked as she realised the reason for this was because some man was pressed on top of her. She felt her panic mix with something like excitement when she realised it was her Taichou.

She wondered distractedly, if that fast beating noise was her heart.

Looking back up, she noticed instead of deep concerned eyes, she was now looking into amused ones. As she replayed what he had said, she scowled. "Of course I'm alright! And I'd believe you were sorry if you weren't smirking like an idiot!"

She became aware then that the beating she had mistaken for her heart was getting louder and was making the dust shift in the room. She thought somewhere in the back of her mind that it sounded like footfalls. With growing despair at the voices that were now accompanying the stampeding of feet, she snapped her head towards the door of the closet as the door was slapped open across its hinges.

"Kyoraku Taichou! Ise Fuku... tai... chou..."

Nanao stared in open mouth horror as about twenty division members clambered to a stop at the doorway and stared at their Taichou straddled across their Fukutaichou, whilst leaning over her in a deceptively intimate position.

Nanao's horror quickly began to turn to anger as the shock on their faces turned to smirks, grins and any other such lecherous expressions of delight.

She looked to her Taichou in surprise as he sat up but did not move from atop her and addressed the gathered Shinigami.

"Yes? Is something wrong?" This would have been bad enough, had he not kept a straight face the entire time instead of his own playful grin.

She felt her face flush terribly as those outside started jeering. Nearly screaming in frustration, Nanao turned coldly to her taichou, "Kindly remove yourself from me Kyoraku Taichou."

When it seemed he would instead make some perverted remark, she flashed him her frostiest look, which promptly made him swallow what he was going to say and get off her.

He'd never been stupid enough to push his luck when she graced him with that look. She was want to remove her glasses then, and he'd heard enough rumours to know he would never want to witness the demonstration of such an act. Though he was mildly curious.

Standing with as much dignity as she could muster, she dusted down her uniform, corrected her collar, shifted her glasses and took a deep steadying breath. She took a measured step towards the door and was happy that at least no one tried to stop her. The howling and whistling was annoying and wearing at her already strained temper. When the clapping started, mocking her as she walked away, she thought she might just incinerate them all with a blast of kidou.

But she kept her head high and didn't once look back to that hell carefully disguised as a harmless broom closet and the damning scene that had happened within.

The End

(A/N): For anyone who doesn't know:

Taichou – Captain

Fukutaichou – Vice-Captain

Ne – Hey/you know... (a way to grab someone's attention)

Yare (yare) – how bothersome