2 years after the 100 year war

"Aang, there's no reason why I can't come with you!"

Airbending my things onto Appa's back, I stop and give her a frustrated look. "For the last time, Katara, stay here in the South Pole with your family! You don't need to come with me." I turn back around to continue packing.

Her eyes flash with determination. She drops her packed bags near Appa and grabs my hand, intertwining our fingers. "My family will understand. I am going with you to the Fire nation, Aang. That's the end of it."

I sigh and let my irritation fade away. I can never deny her anything. Taking my free hand, I caress the side of her face, "Are you sure, Katara? Gran-gran hasn't seen you in so long, and I know how much spending time with your dad means to you."

She places her hand on mine, leaning into the comfort of my palm, her blue eyes staring into mine. "I wouldn't be my father's daughter if I wasn't off with you and fighting against the rebels. Don't worry. Everything will be okay." She smiles to comfort me.

"Fine, but if your dad and Gran-gran get mad at me, you owe me a kiss." I laugh and raise my eyebrows suggestively.

"I can give you a kiss right now, Mr. Avatar." She laughs, and we relax into the kiss. It's not rushed or passionate. I can feel her smile against my lips, and I can't help but smile too.

I separate from her, sliding my hands to her hips, and quickly pick her up to twirl her around. Her laughter and squeals fill the air. I somehow trip on a nearby piece of ice, and the next thing I know, we tumble and roll onto Appa's tail. He grunts at all the roughhousing and lifts up his tail, throwing us up in the air a bit. Our breath catches as we're in mid air, our arms and legs flapping, but gravity bring us tumbling down and restarts our giggles.

When we realize the position we're in, I can only hear our shallow breaths as the sound of laughter fades to the back of my mind. She's on top of me, her hair cascading down her face. Our bodies are pressing against each other, our chests periodically touching as we inhale and exhale. One hand on her hip, holding her in place, I take my free hand and tuck her hair behind her ear, and the words tumble out of my mouth almost reverently, "Do you know how much I love you?"

Her face turns a tint of red and comes closer to mine until our lips touch again. My hands on her hips unconsciously pull her closer as she kisses me gently.

She presses her forehead to mine, her eyes a piercing blue. "There's no place I'd rather be than here with you." She kisses me again to show she means it."No where."

"I know." I stare back with the same intensity.

A manly voice yell breaks the moment. "Katara! Aang!"

We both look up in the direction of the house. I help Katara up, and as she walks in the direction of her father's voice, she tugs on my hand and says excitedly, "Come on! We have to tell dad and Gran-gran our new plans."

Before she runs off too far, I pull her hand and spin her back towards me.

Holding both her hands, I look her straight in the eyes, and before I lose the nerve I spit out, "Katara, you know it's the same for me, right?"

A confused expression falls on her face, and I quickly clarify, "There's no place I'd rather be than with you. It's the same for me."

Understanding, her eyes crinkling in a smile, she nods, "Of course, Aang. I know that too." Giving me a short peck on the cheek, she smiles and says, "Now, let's start another adventure together."

Walking backwards, she tugs on both of my hands, and hand in hand, we run towards the house together.

-ooo-

I was in Omashu on official business with my old friend, King Bumi. It had been far too long since I'd seen him.

Actually it had been far too long since I'd seen anyone. For the past nine months since the incident at the Fire nation I had been secluded in my house in the Earth Kingdom, and all the world leaders avoided me. The world had either moved on without the Avatar or dared not to bother me. Only Sokka and Toph visited.

Sitting at the dinner table in the large kingdom, I ate with Bumi and discussed the current plans for Republic city.

"Are you going to continue with your plans for Air Temple island?" Bumi asked.

Not paying attention, I pushed my food around in circles on my plate and nodded, "Yeah of course."

Noticing my lack of attention, Bumi casually ate his dinner and chewed his crystals. "Will you marry Sokka while you're there?"

"Definitely. I'm going to do that."

"Oh you are? I had no idea you and Sokka were that close. Congratulations on getting married!" Amused, Bumi raised an eyebrow and chuckled.

"Hm, what? Sokka and I married?" I dropped my fork and looked at Bumi with the most awake expression all afternoon.

"Am I boring you, Aang?" Bumi grinned like Sokka with fresh seal jerky. "We could always go for a ride on the mail tunnels to wake you up."

"Sorry, Bumi. You're not. Dinner has been great!" I fidgeted uncomfortably under his gaze and avoided his eyes. "I don't feel up to a ride though. I've just got a lot on my mind lately." I really didn't feel up to riding and felt bad for being such a party pooper. Honestly, I didn't feel up to doing anything these days.

Bumi placed his napkin on the table, and a look of concern fell on his face. "Aang, have you been sleeping lately?"

Rubbing my eyes, I stood up and appreciated the great architecture of the place, my hands behind my back. Bumi really did a good job with the structure of the place with just earthbending. "Not much. I don't get sleep these days, not since...well you know."

"Aang, you have to start moving on. She's not coming back to you, no matter how long you wait." I thought I heard a sigh from him, which aggravated me. I turned back and glared at him. I couldn't help my anger. Nowadays I gladly latched onto any emotion that didn't cause tears.

"What makes you think I'm waiting for her?" The bitterness in my voice surprised me.

"What have you been doing for the past nine months then, Aang?"

"Meditating." This was clearly an outright lie unless crying and moping counted as meditating.

"Are you hoping to reach enlightenment?" Bumi casually continued the conversation despite my clear hostility toward the subject of Katara.

"Yes...No." I hesitated once more. "I-I can't even do that." I looked away, ashamed. "I'm too attached to this world."

"Ah, I see. What are you so attached to?"

"Bumi, what is this? Twenty questions? I've had enough." I started walking away from the dining room, but Bumi earthbended a wall in front of me. I had the good sense not to send a wall back to him.

"Answer my question, Aang." He was taking the typical route of an earthbender – stubborn and brunt.

"You know who I'm attached to!" I punched my hands against the wall Bumi had erected, and it slammed to the ground, shaking the room. I heatedly begin to pace again.

"Why be attached to someone who isn't yours? Katara isn't coming back to you, Aang."

"You don't know that, Bumi! It's only been nine months, and she waited like what..." Beyond frustrated, I threw my hands in the air, "a hundred years for me! I can wait."

My pacing stopped while I slammed my back into a pillar, sliding to the floor. Of course I knew that Katara hadn't been waiting a hundred years for me. She hadn't even been born yet! I was being ridiculous, but my heart... for a hundred years, my heart ached for Katara. With my face in my hands, I whispered a muffled, "I'll wait forever if I have to."

Feeling his footsteps from the vibration of the ground, I felt his hand on my shoulder. Tears in my eyes, a weakness in my heart, I looked at him. His face was full of concern and sincerity.

"Aang, you wait for someone who's lost or kidnapped." He sighed. "And we both know that Katara..." My heart beated faster and winced at the sound of her name, and I can't help but grimace.

Letting me recover, he continued, "Katara knows exactly where she is and what she's doing of her own free will. You can't make her come back. She isn't yours anymore, and she doesn't need saving."

My fists tightened, turning white, my nails breaking skin. Scoffing, I air bended myself up and started pacing again. "You think I don't know that? You think I haven't tried, Bumi? I've tried!" My voice gradually gets louder and angrier. "I've tried letting her go! I've tried hating her, but of course, that doesn't work! I've tried writing out everything I love about her – her hair, her optimism – to get her out of my head! Nothing works!"

My rage echoed into the caverns of Bumi's castle. The sound was oddly settling, and I found myself staring out the castle window and the wondrous expanse of Omashu. It was a beautiful night tonight. My exhaustion from this conversation began to seep in. I had no more shouting left in me, so I surrendered.

"What am I supposed to do when everything I do and everything I see reminds me of a person I can't have?"

There was a contemplative silence then a sigh from an old man, who realized he didn't have an answer with all his years in life.

"I don't have an answer for you, Aang. Time will only tell." Walking over and standing behind me, Bumi crossed his arms and suggested, "You should get some sleep. Everything looks better during the day."

"You're right."

I woke up in the middle of the night, a common occurrence by now. I was dreaming of the golden days, the days that were 5 years ago. I sighed and sat at the edge of my bed, knowing I wouldn't be getting any sleep any time soon. Meditating for a bit, I discovered an opportunity for healing.

Getting dressed in my avatar robes and grabbing a heavy sack to put around me, I jumped out the window and used my air glider to wind through the air. I felt the familiar gusts of air against my body – the way the wind rustled my robes and the sound of whistling air and the carefree freedom that came with it all. It was almost comforting. Once I spotted my destination, I quickly landed.

I moved the giant boulder easily and closed the opening behind me. I took my shoes off, leaving them near the entrance. A small amount of fear crept up on me in the darkness as I moved about in the pitch black cavern, but I was comforted by the certainty of my surroundings. I could feel the badgermoles as their breath shook the ground while they slept and sensed even the insects as they crawled through their burrowed homes. My earthbending had advanced where I could feel everything with my feet, yet my clarity wasn't as good as Toph's.

I descended into the main chamber room and lit a small fire in my hand. I could almost hear her voice as my free hand trailed the carvings that told the love story of Oma and Shu. It was as if she was 14 and describing the story to me all over again. This place gave me comfort despite the pain of being here without her.

Staring at the intimate figures of Oma and Shu, I finally let my eyes rest on the words, "love is brightest in the dark." If only that was the truth.

Taking the torch out of my bag and lighting it, I stabbed it into the ground and drew a large book out of my bag. It contained hundreds of pages and a faded cover and torn corners but a strong spine. Flipping it open, my hand brushed against the wrinkled spots in the yellow parchment, the markings of dried tears.

After the war, Katara and I had first gotten this book in Ba Sing Se as a way to start our memories together. Turning the first few pages that I knew by heart, I could see Katara's beautiful script describing our adventures during the hundred year war and weaving in our love story at the same time. I think she, at one time, wanted the book for our kids – our forever imaginary kids, I noted. A copy of Sokka's famous painting of Team Avatar was in it along with little entries here and there about our dates and even our battles in the parchment, dotted with my silly old doodles. There was this one page where she even recorded the first time I was on my way to a meeting and was shoved into a closet, so she could steal a passionate kiss. She said she missed me. I winced a little at the memory.

There were large blank spaces in the middle pages, but in the back of the book, I wrote everything I love about her.

I had pretended like I was describing her to someone, maybe my imaginary kids I suppose. I wrote about her hair loopies, her smile, her dancing moves, her optimism, and even her long speeches about hope. Katara is the only one that knows, but I have a knack for drawing. I sketched her on one of the pages. I captured her smile and the way her eyes crinkled, her determination and stubbornness, and most importantly, her strength and passion. It took me hours to do, and once I started, I couldn't stop, no matter the pain of remembering every inch of her.

I sat in the Cave of Two Lovers, laughing and crying my eyes out over this book. I laughed about crazy adventures and old jokes and cried over each fight and kiss. I relived each moment over and over again until I had nothing left to give.

I earth bended a hole at the foot of the statues. Carefully wrapping the book with some extra cloth I brought and then placing it in the sack, I gathered the water vapors in the air to freeze it in a permanent crystal and buried that book in the tomb of Oma and Shu. I bowed to the two lovers and silently thanked them for their comfort.

After that, I never looked back.

Emotionally exhausted, I knew I would have another bad dream or flashback if I fell back asleep, but I had to sleep even if it was just for a little while. I had an important meeting in the morning.

An hour later, I was tossing and turning, sweat covering my body. A flashback was invading my sleep.

Reading a scroll I got from the Earth King, I discover that there is an uprising against the king, and that I must come immediately. I couldn't believe it. The Earth Kingdom people had been so loyal to their king during the war. What had changed?

I made a mental list of the things I would need and quickly start packing, preparing Appa for the long ride to Ba Sing Se from the Fire nation. I pack Katara's things as well, knowing she'd want to come and possibly visit Toph at her metalbending school.

Li, a servant of the palace, was passing by, and I call him over. "Li, could you find Master Katara for me? It's an urgent matter, so please be quick about it. Thanks. I'll be at the stables with Appa."

"Of course, Avatar Aang." He bows and leaves.

Airbending both sleep bags, a tent, and luggage onto Appa, I heard her footsteps and turned around.

"Aang, what's the matter? What's so urgent?"

"There's an uprising in the Earth Kingdom, and the King asked for me to come help. We have to leave now. I already packed all of your stuff." I grab her hand to airbend us up onto Appa, but she pulls her hand away. She looked almost panicked.

"Woah woah. Slow down. I can't come with you."

Shocked and then concerned, I ask, "What? What are you talking about? You always come with me."

She doesn't answer, hesitating and avoiding my eyes.

"Is there something wrong?"

"No. Not at all." Katara still looks at the ground.

"Do you not want to help the Earth Kingdom?!"

Hands on her hips, she snaps. "Of course I do! How could you accuse me of such a thing?"

"Are you mad at me? Did I do something wrong?" My forehead wrinkles in concern.

"No! You haven't."

"Then what's the problem? We're a team, Katara!" Waving my hands between us, I don't understand.

She hesitates. "I know that, Aang! For once, I can't go with you. I just – I have responsibilities here too!"

"What could be more important than the peace of the Earth Kingdom?!"

By now we were just screaming in each other's faces. If I had hair, I would be pulling it out by now. What happen to the Katara that's always by my side? I take a deep breath, tired of the unnecessary yelling.

"Katara, you know what your support means to the Earth Kingdom people. I know you might not realize it, but you're a big deal. And with everything that happened with Republic City, it was you that pushed me in the right direction. What's here that you have to stay?"

"I just can't, Aang. I can't go on this adventure with you."

My eyes furrowing, I can't believe what I'm hearing. This isn't like Katara at all, and yet I feel a shadow of doubt in my mind. I feel this green monster growing inside, trying to claw its way out.

I step forward, grabbing her hands and looking into her eyes. "Katara, you know you can tell me anything, right? What's wrong? I'm here. It's just me."

Hesitant, she opens her mouth as if to say something and then closes it again. She avoids my eyes.

The green monster in me gets bigger and is closer to the surface. I shove it down and try again. "Katara, honey. It's me, your Aang." I tilt my head trying to make her look at me.

"Can't you just trust me and let me stay, Aang?"

Katara isn't the type to be secretive. Why would she need a reason to stay? Why can't she tell me? My insecurities begin to list off in my mind, and it's at this moment the green monster decides to strike. I whisper, "Is it Zuko?"

Her eyes widen in surprise. I see flicker of anger but also something as if my question is her saving grace. As if relieved, she answers, "Yes. I have to stay for Zuko." She pauses as if thinking and making a final decision, "We're most likely going to be gone for more than a month in the Earth Kingdom, and Mai's memorial is during that time. You know how Zuko gets. I have to be here."

After talking in circles, she finally admits why she's staying. At the time, I ignore the flicker of relief in her eyes. I'm too focused on how her words sound like excuses to me. A more selfish and possessive side of me takes over. I look away, my eyes hardening. "No, Katara, you don't have to be here."

She grabs my hand and pleads, "Aang, don't be like this. Zuko makes irrational decisions during this time of the year, and we can't afford to have no one here to watch him."

My free hand tightens into a fist, and I spit out, "Zuko is a big Fire lord. He can take of himself..."

"Aang, you know this a big deal. It's only been two years since she died. My place is here. If I'm not, he'll drink himself to death or do something incredibly stupid." She gently places her hand on my face. "Please look at me."

Knowing what I'm about to start, I slowly turn my head towards her and against my better judgment, ask, "What if I need you, Katara?"

She backs away, her eyes rolling. "You know it's not like that. I'm not choosing Zuko over you."

I cross my arms and spit out. "Are you sure? Because it sure sounds like it!"

I notice a flicker of hurt in her eyes, and as if to cover it up, she throws her hands up in the air. "Agh! Could you just for one second stop being such an immature child?"

"I am being perfectly reasonable!" As if displaying evidence, I count on my fingers to give her examples. "He's had no signs of sinking into depression or making plans to destroy the Earth Kingdom! There's been no paranoia, and he's absolutely logical during meetings. He's fine! What if I need you, Katara, huh? What if I die?"

"That's not fair!" She points her finger at me and glares. "Don't pin this all on me."

Slapping her hand out the way, I shove my face in front of hers. "You're choosing his wellbeing over mine. That's what's happening here!"

"Fine! If you want to see it that way, go ahead. I don't care anymore. Go to the Earth Kingdom! Go!" Katara gestures in the general direction with her hand and stomps away. "You know where I'll be!"

"Fine! You've made your choice! Here's your stuff too! Have a fun time with Zuko!" Her luggage slams onto the ground.

"Agh!" Katara just glares at me and marches away.

As I see her angrily stomping away, my irritation fades. If I don't come back, this can't be our last conversation. This isn't how I ever want to end things. I air bend myself right in front of her, so she slams into me. She backs away, ready to yell at me some more, but I grab her top and tug her forward, kissing her with all I've got.

She doesn't respond at first, too angry with me, but she soon melts into the kiss, her nails digging into my back while my hands get tangled in her hair. Our bodies are pressed tightly together, and I can feel her tears falling onto my robes and her heartbeat against my chest. I use this moment to memorize everything about her. I reluctantly separate, leaning my forehead against hers. I urgently whisper.

"I love you, Katara, and I'm sorry. For everything. I was being a jealous jerk. I didn't mean a thing."

She tries to say something, but I just shush her.

"We'll talk when I get back. I love you. Remember that." I give her a final passionate kiss, one that says good-bye, I love you, and be happy all in one if that's even possible.

And then I'm gone with an airbending maneuver and a yip yip. I don't dare look back because then I'd never leave.

I've been up, thinking about that dream, the all too real memory. Lying in my bed, staring at the ceiling, I've just let myself wallow like I usually do after these flashbacks. My mind seems to be reviewing the harsh warning signs I should have paid attention to. I just wish my mind would 'review' during the day and not ruin my sleep.

She chose Zuko over me. It was plain and simple. It was a second betrayal. I had been gone for three months until I returned. I should have confronted her, but at the time I was too busy making up for lost time. I missed her too damn much. Love blinded me again.

What happen to my Katara that said there was no place she'd rather be than with me? What happen to my Katara? What happened while I was gone?

I mull over that question over and over again until the sun begins to peak through my window.

A/N: I've had this on my computer for a couple months and just found it again. I'm working on a new story, the Closed Door Drabbles, and possibly if those ppl are looking for it - a "What Matters Most" update as well. As always, REVIEWS are appreciated. They definitely help keep me going.