Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, yadda-yadda-whatever.

Note: This is my first fanfic, and please review :)

Feel free to skip to Chapter 6 if you just want to see the battles or romance (both start at around the same time :P)

Chap 2 is mainly to fill readers in with character statistics.

Prologue: "Surprise!"

Two months after the legendary, perverted sannin, Jiraiya, supposedly died in Pain's hands, the village seems like it's back to normal again, except that they were still struggling with the Akatsuki organization. Then, one night, when Tsunade, the Hokage, was overdosing on sake once again, a dark figure crashed through her window.

"Woo thuh hell is theere?" Tsunade replied drunkenly.

The figure turned on the light nearby and looked very familiar…It had one arm, long, spiky white hair, two lines beneath its eyes, and the eyes of the Rinnegan, whose swirls looked much like an archery target and was bloody yellow.

"Jiraiya?! I thought you died!" Tsunade said, shocked.

"I am not your filthy toad, miss. I am none other than God. I am Pain!" The Jiraiya-like figure shouted.

Thr Jiraiya-like Pain figure quickly took out a kunai knie and stabbed Tsunade in all of her vital points at ease, seeing as she was much too intoxicated with sake. Then, he was about to easily land a fatal blow, when Tsunade blindly leaped forward and kicked Jiraiya-Pain out of the window he crashed in from and she followed, moving very uncoordinatedly.

"You'll die for that!" Pain exclaimed and charged for her, charging a blue sphere of chakra none other than the Rasengan in his right hand.

"WAIT!!"

Jiraiya-Pain stopped in his tracks, just for that moment. If this was just some worthless small-talk, he was going to drive his knife through her brains and the Rasengan through her heart in a bloodthirsty manner.

Tsunade gathered up the last of her breath and said, "Jiraiya, can you not see me? The woman you've loved for more than forty years? The best of comrades? Fellow sannin? How will you feel, Jiraiya, if you kill me now? Don't you want to kiss me?"

"Um…eh…I'm Pain! Can you not see?" Jiraiya-Pain said in an awkward, Hinata-like manner, blushing a dark pink.

'Got him!' Tsunade thought, satisfied. 'However, I could fight better than this, even if I was drunk, only five years ago. Maybe I'm getting much too old for this damn job.'

Jiraiya-Pain continuously pondered what Tsunade last said in his mind and looked like he was about to fight with himself. Then, the infamous Rinnegan disappeared from Jiraiya's gaze and he was Pain no longer. Then, Jiraiya passed out from exhaustion and from embarrassment out of Tsunade's statement, once again, something that only Hinata would do.

'Sigh, that's one Pain down. I'll take this dobe to the hospital and send all the Leaf jonin and Naruto to my building tomorrow…We have something important to discuss.' Tsunade thought, recovering from her alcoholic side-effects.

CLIFFHANGER! (sorta)

So, please tell me how you thought, and there will be a tournament between the leaf ninja after a few chapters, so please give suggestions for matchups :P