Disclaimer: The rights to the book series fall far, far, far outside my tiny circle of material objects.

"Why hello, general public. I'm Ms. Regence." I announce loudly, throwing open the door and striding in confidently. Luckily, on the first day of school, everyone is too scared to death to even think about possibly mentioning the subject of maybe talking at lunch next semester.

Slim pickins, this year. I drop my large, menacing looking bag, and seat myself firmly behind my chair. The wonderful thing about electives is that I teach the most random, loveable courses – being as in a school this small I pretty much teach the only electives, which means they're my choices – provided they're approved.

I take stock of my third period class: There's a petite brunette in the first row, wisps of bang swooping down her forehead like triumphant hawks. Bright eyed, bushy tailed and pale as all bloody hell. Next to her is a nondescript dirty blonde. Average height, size, clothing. Grey eyes. Fair enough.

After that comes another brunette, taller this time, just thin enough to be pretty. Just a t shirt and jeans, though she wears them confidently.

Behind her sits a row of boys. Directly behind the tall brunette sits another pale one, a red head, who is staring rather intensely at nothing in particular, flexing and curling fists.

I'm feeling less descriptive now. Suffice to say there's another pale kid next to him, muscular, and then a gorgeous blonde who's absently playing with a strand of hair. A few more kids are scattered here and there in the desks.

"I'm going to start off simple and easy. I only say things once, so don't expect me to repeat this, I'm going to grade you like the adults you are, but my homework won't be excessive." I'm met with the bored stares and grunts of children who've heard this part of the speech a thousand times over.

"Unless you really have something to say, shut the hell up. And if any of you –" I eye the perky brunette in the front row – the short one on the right. "- ever think of something hilariously funny about something I've just said, I'd love to hear it." This raises a few eyebrows.

"So who can guess what the hell we're doing today?"

Silence.

"Come on now. Don't make me start calling names at random."

No victims. Aw, shucks.

"Fair enough." I dethrone myself, circling the desk to lean on the corner, reading a magazine. Well, magazine is debatable: it's actually a science periodical…and it's about two years old. I just need it for the look of the thing, really.

Oh, look. An article on the world's smallest vertebrate. Any guesses? Yes, that's right, it's a fish. Less than eight millimeters long! Can you imagine? The creature's barely larger than its food.

Something on blood sucking parasites…well, that's appropriate.

An editorial on global warming…gee, shocker there. What an original topic.

"Ms. Regence?" Well, finally.

"Yes, Alice?" She stares me, shocked. What? I have ears. Someone called her Alice as they walked in.

"What are you doing?" I put the magazine down on the table, folding my arms casually.

"Well, I'm not going to teach people who refuse to learn. I have better things to do, you know."

"What are we doing today?" Blurts the other brunette, the mildly more tanned one.

"Well, I'm so glad you asked." She cringes.

"Today, we are going over the basics."

XXX

One hour later, and the students all look a mixture of relieved and disappointed when the bell rings. Papers begin to shuffle and binders are stacked on binders as they hurry along in their busy lives.

"I never said you could leave, people." They all freeze mid-escape.

"Your homework is to pick one favorite, or one that stuck out to you exceptionally, and give me three paragraphs on either it's history or how, conceivably, it could function today. Class dismissed." The tension in the air is released as the kids hurry off.

"Ms. Swan," The tall brunette turns back to look at me, as does Edward.

"I'd like to see you for a minute. I'll write you a pass for your next class." Is it wrong that I like the look of ignorant terror on her face? 'What'd I do wrong? It's been one day and I barely said anything!' I remember feeling like that.

"S-sure." She tells me. I note how she squeezes Edward's hand.

"Alone, please." I warn. The two exchange glances before he reluctantly releases her.

"Did I do something wrong, Ms. Regence?" Uh…no. You did something stupid, and I can't blame you for it, because then I'd just be a hypocrite.

"Ms. Swan…Bella?" She nods, coming to sit down again at one of the desks.

"You and Mr. Cullen…er, Edward Cullen…" Seeing as how there are two male Cullens in my class. I bet they all thought it was funny to take this course together.

"Yes?"

"You two are involved, are you not?" She pauses, unsure how to answer. I make an exasperated sound commonly known as a sigh.

"Bella, it wasn't really a question." I tell her.

"Oh." She replies.

We sit in awkward silence for a moment.

"And how long have you known he is a vampire?"

"What?!" She asks, voice going up a good one or two octaves.

"Bella, I am older than you and am also not stupid. Don't try to embarrass me by pretending to be indignant."

"I didn't –"

"Him and the rest of the Cullens, right?" I hold up a hand to cease her speaking. "Don't worry, it's not like I'm going to tell anybody. Believe me, if I told all the secrets I know…" Well, following a set of extraneous circumstances, the world might end. There's one thing.

"I'd just like to know…a few base things."

"Uh huh."

"They don't feed off people, correct?"

"Yes. I mean, no. Well, I mean, they don't feed off people." She seems a bit in shock.

"Clearly they aren't territorial. Hm?"

"As far as I can tell."

"Immortal, right?" What? I need it for comparison.

"Y…yeah…"

I smile at her. "That's all, Bella. You can go now." I hand her the pass I'd written. Gratefully, she tugs it from my grasp, gathering her books in her arms to shuffle out the door.

"Oh, and Ms. Swan." She turns her head a good forty five degrees to look back at me.

"Yeah?" I lean back in my chair, smiling the smile I only get when I know something's coming.

"Welcome to Mythological Studies."

A/N: Likely, it won't be continued. But the last line wouldn't erase itself from my conscious (and, on rare and extremely irritating occasions, subconscious) thoughts. Sorry to waste your time, ladies and gents.

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