Black Moon Reborn

By Chris ShadowMoon

AN- A one-shot, just because my other stories have hit a block. If anyone has a suggestion for what you think should go in either Puzzle, Rebirth, or Kitsune, let me know. I already have the immediate ideas set, but more long-term is my problem, as I just can't get motivated to write it, especially at Easter. Here's just a random one-shot that I felt like doing. Let's see if I'm any good at doing things like this.

Prologue 1

I honestly wonder why nobody has figured it out yet. I mean, it's fairly obvious, and yet… they just don't get it.

I suppose that it really isn't their fault, though. I do a good job of acting like I'm expected to around them. I think only one person really has figured it out. She's the most observant person there, and yet, she's considered the most oblivious person in the world.

I think I should just start with her, and then move on one person at a time. So, I'll start with Kasumi.

Kasumi Tendo is probably the most observant person in Nerima. She'd the only person to have my respect, and the only person not to wear her emotions on her sleeves, besides me. Contradictory to popular belief, Kasumi sees everything and knows everything, more and faster than Nabiki. Because she acts like her namesake, with her head in a fog, nobody minds discussing their plans about me around her, so she's my biggest source of information. Sometimes I think that I wouldn't make it past half of all the stupid things that are thrown at me if it weren't for her tip-offs.

I don't really see why she takes everything lying down. She's smart and devious enough to get out of the role her family has thrown her into, personal slave for a family of the most spoiled, horrible people someone could imagine. I'm surprised that she hadn't put a sleeping powder into the food and escaped while everyone was out cold. She certainly could.

I suppose that she stays for her sisters. Nabiki thinks that she lives up to her namesake, being able to bend anyone to her power. For the most part, I'd agree. She has a huge spy network set up, and can make money without having to lift a finger. And yet, she's so confident in her own abilities, she can't see what's right in front of her face. As much as she thinks she does, she can't control me no matter how hard she'd try.

Honestly, I hate her, and everyone else here, except for just a few. Nabiki is a manipulative bitch, and the only thing she wouldn't do is hurt her sisters for money. But, she does have her uses, even if she doesn't realize that she's being used. For example, she probably never realized that it was my idea to have her invite all the fiancée's to the failed wedding. All it took was a simple phrase said at the right time when she thought that I didn't know she was there, and, boom, one wedding, up in flames.

Not that I ever wanted the wedding in the first place. Much like Nabiki, Akane sure as hell lives up to her name, which is a really bad thing. Anger is about the only emotion she actually can feel, at least when it comes to me. I think it goes back to our first meeting. Ok, I'll admit, the incident in the bathroom was an accident, but I could have sworn that Genma had explained the curses beforehand. Baka-panda.

I'm willing to bet all the money I have, which is a lot, as Nabiki never bothered to look deep for it, thinking I was too stupid to hide it in several bank accounts and the like, that the major problem started when she smashed a table over my head. When I just let that roll off, I, in her mind, gave her permission to hit me whenever she wanted. It's like I became her own personal whipping boy.

I can't really blame Kasumi for passing me off to her sisters, nor Nabiki, but Akane seems to think that just because I'm forced to be her fiancée, I'm also her punching bag. Not that she can really do much unless I let her. The girl's martial arts might have been good at one point in time, but a lack of desire to improve herself compiled with the fact that she never wants to work for anything means that her arts have slipped to a point of nonexistence.

That's another flaw. Damn this girl seems to have a lot of them. If she wants something, she's got to have it, and she never wants to work for it. If she wants to be a great martial artist, she thinks that everyone must lose to her, and if they don't, it's a fluke or something to that extent. If she wants to cook a meal, then she can cook a great meal, and if it makes people sick because she didn't taste it, it's their fault for not liking the food. In her mind, it's impossible for her to be wrong.

Like everyone, she has her uses, though. It's amazing that all it takes is a few insults and she'll show you what could possibly be an invaluable move, accessing subspace. She calls it her 'hammerspace', but anyone who can gain access can store their stuff there. It is probably one of the most useful moves I know.

She's also good for some comedic relief and a way to leave easily. Whenever I need a break, a simple insult, or recently, nothing at all, and she will bring out a hammer and send me flying, hopefully towards Juuban. More on that later. It's also fun to just hang around and watch her delusions of grandeur, especially if it gets her injured or in some other dumb way embarrassed or confused.

I suppose it isn't really their faults, as both of their flaws can be traced back to their father, Soun Tendo. We call Soun the 'human water fountain', just because of his attitude. He's lazy and, like Akane, can't be wrong. He thinks only of himself, and doesn't even work, putting the strain of raising enough money to keep the Dojo, which they never even use, in their possession onto Nabiki. I don't think I've ever seen him anywhere other than at the table or at a Shogi or Go board with my father. He acts like he knows what's best for me, and when I do something he doesn't like, even if he'd told me to beforehand, he goes into a ridiculous big-head technique. It isn't even scary.

My father is literally his name, an 'Unpolished Horse', or an imperfect fighter. At one time, I suppose, he was a great martial artist. But, like Soun, he's cowardly, lazy, and thinks only for himself. He thinks I don't realize the reason he wants me to marry into the Tendo Family. Like I'd let him live in luxury of my hard work. Yeah, right.

I don't even think he knows that I was the one who left that Jusenkyou Brochure in the middle of the rack in that store, and that I was the one who lured him there. In all honesty, him hitting the Panda spring was totally chance. However, me hitting the Girl Spring wasn't. I'd aimed to hit that spring ever since I heard of it.

So, my life is total chaos, but only because I like it that way. I thrive off chaos, both literally and figuratively. I'm just fortunate that I was born to Genma, otherwise I wouldn't be the martial artist I am. That's about the only thing good that he's ever done for me, besides our Jusenkyou trip.

My first big headache when we arrived has to have been Tatewaki Kuno, the Blue Blunder. The guy is a total moron. No, I take that back. He's a delusional moron. I must have told him about ninety times, I'm not interested. Instead, he, like everyone else, has delusioned himself into thinking that, as Kami-sama's gift to man, no girl could resist him, including me. There must be something in the water to make everyone her delusional and in their own little worlds. I'll investigate later.

The man can't fight to save his life, believes himself to be the blade of Kami-sama to destroy 'the evil sorcerer Ranma Saotome', can't even defeat the mediocre Akane in a fight, and only really has one good technique, that one that uses air blasts to strike at a distance, and even then, it's hardly effective.

Tatewaki Kuno, in my opinion, has no use other than to further my ruse.

His sister, Kodatchi Kuno, is just as insane if not more than her brother. Instead of using a kendo stick or other form of sword, she practices, of all things, Martial Arts Gymnastics. Whatever moron created that needs to be taken out and shot, honestly. Always in her black leotard, Kodatchi is called 'The Black Rose'…. Right. I guess that makes sense. She's got some weird obsessions with poisons, and is the total opposite of her brother, obsessed with my male half, hates my female. She, like Tatewaki, can't realize that we're the same person. It's ironic, really.

Like Tatewaki, Kodatchi has no use other than to further my ruse, and, on occasion, help me build up immunities to most poisons. That was a fun process, not.

Both of them are clinically insane, and yet they manage to avoid the loony bin by bribing their way out. That just shows the greed of the human race, I suppose. I, as well as anyone else who knows them, agrees that the insanity probably was a result of the death of their mother combined with the mental and physical abuse from their father, who also happens to be the principal of our school. Why they let a nut-job like him run a school full of kids is beyond me.

The man decorated the basement like a Hawaiian Island, complete with pineapple-shaped bombs and crazy drugs, for crying out loud! I'm just glad that he's mostly in Hawaii. At least the assistant principal is sane.

Still, school is a pain, as that seems to be where most of the people managed to catch up with me. Take Ryoga, for instance.

The man is a hot-headed moron. Nothing is ever his fault, not when he can blame it on me. Even if he can't with any plausible reason, he'd do it anyways and attack me. Why? I have no idea.

The man has no honor. I still want to rip his head off for that stupid promise I made, but I can't, as Akane will mallet me if I try. If I try to explain what the hell I'm doing, I've both broken an honor promise, which I won't ever do, and Akane will blame me anyway, and then I'll get another trip with the mallet.

Still, he's great for a low-level spar every once in a while, provided the eternally lost boy can find me. I say low level because it is, at least for me. I have no doubt that he's really trying to kill me whenever we fight, and yet I can beat him without even breaking fifty percent of my full potential. I'm much stronger than I really show, not that anyone but Kuh Lon really noticed.

Besides Kasumi, Herb, Saffron, and Dr. Tofu, Kuh Lon is the only person that really has my respect. Kuh Lon, or Cologne, or Old Ghoul, as I call her, has really ever realized that I only fight at about fifty percent maximum. Sure, at first, I hated her, especially during the Cats Tongue Pressure Point Incident. I'd gotten overconfident, I'll give you that, and that's what led to the point in the first place. Still, she'd apologized afterwards, and hasn't tried to get me into her tribe since. She'd even teach me martial arts moves, sometimes on purpose, sometimes on accident. For example, while she had meant to teach me the Hyruu Shoten Ha, I'd managed to work out the training procedure for the Breaking Point on my own. That… wasn't fun.

Her charges, however… that's a different story.

Xian Pu, or Shampoo, is her great grandaugher, or great great granddaughter… I forget which. Anyway, she'd originally lost to me in China, and the laws of her tribe stated that she'd have to track me down and kill me. Well, that was fun for a while, playing a game of 'race to the border chicken' so I could test my speeds, but I'd eventually won.

She'd tracked me down again in Japan, where she learned I was actually a guy. It had happened at a really inconvenient time, as well… right after that stupid martial arts ice skating challenge. After beating her, again, on accident, no less, she'd tried to get me to marry her, again, set by the laws of her clan. Now, call me crazy, but I'm almost confident (I didn't get that good a look at the law book) that a marriage challenge must first be declared, then it must occur in the presence of an Amazon Elder. Neither of those happened, so I could declare the marriage null and void whenever I wanted. I just can't, yet.

She's a source of good food, as long as she doesn't try to drug me, but she almost always tries to drug me, so that doesn't really work out. I doubt that I could ever marry her anyways, as she'd want a docile husband who'd do whatever she'd want. That definitely doesn't fit me.

Her curse would be a problem as well, if I was actually afraid of cats. I'm not, thankfully, after I managed to tame the cat spirit in my soul, mastering the Neko-Ken. Now, I just use it as an excuse to use the ultimate cat-fist, as I can't actually show my mastery of it without it.

Kuh Lon's other charge was Mu Tzu, or Mousse. Why they're all named after hygiene products, I'm not sure I want to know. Mousse is blind, in more ways than one. He's both got a vision that's worse than a bats', and he's blind to the reality of the world. He can't accept the fact that Xian Pu isn't interested, instead deciding that's it my fault that she doesn't love him, and if he defeats me, she'll love him instead. That, ladies and gentlemen, is what I call flawed logic.

The only other person worth mentioning is my old best friend, Ukyo Kuonji. At first, I knew that she was a girl, but acted like I thought she was a boy, as I wasn't supposed to be that smart at the age of seven. Back then, she'd been my best friend, but now…

I suppose that it's, once again, my father's fault that our friendship went down the drain. After all, if he hadn't stolen the dowry, then she wouldn't have been forced to abandon her feminity, and then she wouldn't have to marry me to regain her lost honor. She is still a good friend when she isn't trying to marry me, but when she is, she's just unbearable. I have to admit, though, that she is the best Okonomyaki chef in the world.

Unfortunately, she has a big master plan for what she'd do if she married me. The only problem was that she didn't take me into consideration, as in her plan, I help her run a restaurant, sometimes getting to teach in my free time. Not that I really want to run a dojo, but again, that's part of my mask.

As far as the people that I respect go, only four really fit. Kasumi, who I've covered already, Kuh Lon, who's also been covered, Herb, Saffron, and Dr. Tofu Ono are the only people on that list.

Herb, I'll admit, originally didn't have my respect. However, after pushing me to use seventy percent of my maximum, he gained my respect quickly. He was the first one to ever push me past fifty, besides Kuh Lon, but that only took me to sixty percent, and that was only because I'd been forced to use the cat-fist… and even that was a risk. I wasn't sure if the claws could cut cater or not.

Then you have to take into account the fact that we have the same condition, never the same gender from day to day. That, and he'd sent a peace offering to me a few weeks after the entire debacle. Really, the thought was nice, but I'm not really sure what I'm going to do with the locking ladle or the hot water kettle. They're safely stored away, though.

Dr. Tofu has had my respect the moment he managed to sneak up on me on the first day of school. I knew right then that the man must have been a master of some form of martial arts, as I wasn't able to detect him, either by noise or life energy, until he had that creepy skeleton hand on my shoulder. It also helps that he was able to heal me about thirty different times in the first year I was here.

Saffron has the most respect I've given to anyone, after forcing me to use about ninety percent of my full power to beat him. It turns out that he really wasn't that mean a guy, the entire event was a big misunderstanding. We thought that he'd destroy the pools with his ritual thing, but he'd really just use them for a few weeks at most then return them to normal. After a hell of a lot of apologizing on my part, as well as some on his, as the incomplete transformation had made him insane, he was nice enough to send me a gift. Again, I'm not quite sure what I'm going to do with the Kinjakan and the Gekkaja, although I guess it's the thought that counts.

So, that's my life. I like it, even if I can't get a moments peace. As for my secrets, well, I have many, but the one that only Kasumi realizes is that, while it may be a curse for most, for me it's a blessing. I've been a girl since I was born, even if I had a boy's body. I suppose I could thank the memories for that.

I sigh from my location on the rooftop as I hear footsteps below me. "Ranma-kun­," I can hear the slight amount false mocking she puts behind the words (I didn't even pick up on it for about two weeks or so, it was so miniscule), as she's done since the third day I was here, proof enough for me she knows, "Dinner's ready!" I call back down to her.

"I'll be right in, Kasumi!"

"Ok!" I hear her footsteps recede and reach into my pocket. After fishing around for a moment, I pull out a solid black rod about six inches long, with an eerie yellow tip decorated with an inverted black crescent moon laid over an inverted pentagram. I grin and put it back.

They may not remember me, but I remember them all. I wonder how they'll take my return. After all, I'm the one Senshi that was never supposed to exist (not that it ever stopped Saturn), and yet I'm still here. I look up to the sky once more and spot a shooting star, possibly a meteor that broke free from the Asteroid Belt, the only remainder of my home planet, Nemesis. I grin a little, wondering if they'll ever need me to fight for them again. Ah, who cares? I'll do it anyways.

END

Ok, right now, it's a one-shot. If I get enough reviews/inspiration, I'll make it a longer story. Let me know what you think.