Ta-da! After, uh, so and so months, here's a fic. (From the bottom of my heart)

Characterizations gone mad will probably be the only thing you ought to watch for in here. (It's a fearsome, fearsome thing.)

As always, comments and/or criticisms are welcomed and loved because they help in improving my horrid writing. Andandand I'll try to reply to every review now! I swear! (Don't be shy. Because I bet that I'll be shier than you.

Sasuke had a penchant for sitting on exceedingly high places. Like the edge of the rooftop of a building with twenty-three floors. It was a small — and life endangering, too, mustn't forget that — quirk of his. He'd been doing it for as long as he could remember. Even when he was still living with his family and not in some upscale condominium in the heart of a bustling metropolis.

He most especially liked sitting on those exceedingly high places during nighttime. It would have meant certain death for him if he went up there in the morning. Having such fair skin, the heat would have easily gotten to him. Besides, he was a very busy man and hadn't the time at all to enjoy sitting on a place that would normally be called a spot for encountering death during mornings.

It was peaceful and quiet on the condominium rooftop, too. Well, at least it was more peaceful and quiet than it was below. He could hear the hustle and bustle from the city, and he could also see the irritatingly dazzling city lights, but the impact of such things were softer. The lights weren't all that blinding from afar and the noise wasn't at all that deafening.

Sasuke was a quiet person by nature. City noise irritated him a lot. If it wasn't for the necessities it offered, he would've left the city for the countryside.

It was a rather quiet night today. Sasuke was, yet again, on the rooftop, looking at the city. It was so tranquil.

And then he heard wailing.

He was surprised for a bit. Not at all a good thing to happen when he was sitting on the edge of a rooftop.

He stood up from his perch in order to investigate. Someone might've been dying.

Despite his rather disagreeable disposition, Sasuke wasn't the kind of man who'd let others be harassed. (When he was a child, he'd often wanted to become the Protector of Justice.)

He went down the stairs and went out the first door he saw. This was the Penthouse Level. He was one of the five people who lived there. This was also where the sound seemed to be coming from. Though, judging from the acoustics of the building, he might've been wrong.

He saw a blond-haired man walking on the hallway. The man looked rather chipper if Sasuke could say so himself. He hadn't seen that man before at all. Then again, it wasn't as if it mattered. Sasuke didn't often notice the people who didn't interact with him for more than a couple of minutes, with the exception of his fans of course.

The man opened his mouth.

And Sasuke started to look rather horrified.

What the fuck was that?

He resisted the urge to put his hands to his ears or scramble into his room. It would've looked rather impolite of him.

Sasuke looked even more aghast when the man started to open the door beside his room.

The horrid and loud thing he'd heard from on the rooftop... its maker was going to live right beside him?

Egads! And it didn't at all help that Sasuke had sensitive ears.

(break)

Naruto was honestly quite happy. To think that on the day he moved in, he'd see quiet the catch.

Cute face, had taste, nice ass, around his age, more than tall enough. The guy was a whole package already! Why, he'd have to be inclined to think that it was a match made in heaven. Naruto the Bisexual was now a go for this guy.

The only problem was that the guy didn't look interested at all. If Naruto was to be asked, he'd have to say that the guy looked rather horrified. But what was to be scared of? Naruto didn't look ugly. Far from it even!

At this point, Naruto was already quite nervous. What if the guy turned out to have... the sixth sense?

Naruto shook his head of these thoughts. Quite literally, too.

He decided that since, aptly called in his head, the black-haired sex god wouldn't be moving any time soon.

"Hey there, sexy," he said.

Naruto had always been quite the blunt person.

The guy seemed to finally snap out of his reverie. Naruto readied himself for an answer.

The guy, with a straight face, said, "Would you please stop your screeching? It would be great if you did."

Naruto was downright appalled.

"The fuck?" Naruto asked in that charming, gentlemanly manner of his. "What the hell's wrong with you, you ass?"

His singing was fine, thank you very much. It wasn't screeching at all! Pompous little bastard was probably one of those new and hip singers that everyone dug.

Though it was probably impossible that the guy was a singer. Naruto hadn't seen a picture of the guy before and Naruto was the expert when it came to the music industry, newcomers included. It was his job, after all. And he was the best in his job!

So then, the guy must've been a model. Naruto had had his fair share of models. Fair share of misfortune. All of the models that he'd encountered were stuck-up, hopelessly inebriated at the moment, or just plain hated him and did everything to irritate him. His friends who were on the same field of work as him, however, were always babbling nonstop about how amazing and perfect and impossibly nice models were as opposed to how the media made them out to be.

He never did have the best of luck when it came to good-looking people.

"If you don't know, sir," the guy started, "you sound quite awful when you sing. Please refrain from doing so as we'll be neighbors and there's a healthy chance of hearing your horrid and non-existent singing talent for me. Something which I would not want a repeat of for as long as I live."

Naruto was a bit surprised as to how someone could come off rather scathing yet polite at the same time. The guy was probably just another rich person. People who'd been rich since the day they were born were often like that.

Naruto scowled and crossed his arms in front of his chest.

"Do me a favor and fuck off, buddy. It's not your life," he said.

It was such a Naruto-esque response that he couldn't help being proud of himself. He became even more delighted when he saw the guy scowl, too. They were equal now — this rather childish thought was the first thing that had come to Naruto's mind. He grinned and waited for the other's response.

Well, he sure got the surprise of a lifetime.

Naruto soon found himself wondering if his nose was broken and how he'd get the blood to stop.

His right hand was on the bridge of his nose. He was cursing a lot. He was on the ground.

His amazingly handsome neighbor had disappeared into his own room.

Naruto felt really loved.

This was the start of a new and exciting chapter in the life of one Uzumaki Naruto. The "My Neighbor: The Bastard" chapter.

"Seriously, Sakura, he's one scary bastard! And what's worse is that he lives beside me!" Naruto exclaimed.

He made a couple of hand signals that made his point even more emphasized.

Sakura sighed as she took a sip of her drink and looked away from her friend. They were, yet again, the center of attention of the small café. Why was it that almost every time they visited this establishment, Naruto always had to create a scene and be unaware of it? Why couldn't she have her cup of coffee without being perused by a couple of people whenever she was here?

Though she was already quite grateful that she had time to spare for a cup of non-instant coffee. Most people in her profession barely had the time to sleep, much less have a decent breakfast.

"Really, I think that you ought to not take it as an offense," Sakura said, looking back at Naruto.

He scrunched his nose, somewhat confused by her statement.

"Why shouldn't I?" he asked.

"He was actually rather polite, you know," she said, "given the fact that he punched you must've meant that he was holding back from his anger before."

"Why should he be angry anyway?" Back was Naruto's temper. Sakura desperately wanted to tell it that it wasn't invited. But it'd be rather unsophisticated if she blurted that one out.

"Your singing does suck, which makes me wonder how you got your job. Everyone's already told you that. Hearing it from a stranger shouldn't matter if your friends have already drilled it into your head."

"My singing doesn't suck."

This was ridiculous. Naruto was acting too much of a child. Sakura sighed yet again. She decided to ignore Naruto for the moment being and finish up her breakfast. There was no use conversing with a stubborn Naruto. Especially when it was about his (atrocious) singing.

The door-chimes rang as a new customer entered the place. For some odd reason, the café suddenly got louder. Naruto looked up to see who was the newcomer was, seeing Sakura wanted to indulge in her breakfast rather than talk with him at the moment. He could be sensitive sometimes, too!

Naruto gawked at the newcomer. He was positively shocked.

Sakura had soon noticed the much unexpected silence hovering in their table and looked at Naruto to see if there was anything wrong with him. When she couldn't see any visible signs of pain or any sort of discomfort, she asked him what was on his mind or if he suddenly remembered that he had somewhere to go.

"That's the person I've been talking about!" Naruto said. He pointed at the newcomer.

The newcomer, of course, turned out to be no one other than Sasuke.

Sasuke who was trying his best to ignore his neighbor. He sure didn't want to associate himself with the likes of those. Though the flash of pink hair he could see on that table was rather familiar. But he merely shrugged it off as he walked to the cashier and ordered a breakfast set.

Sakura looked around to see who was Naruto pointing at. And gasped. Rather loudly, too.

"Wait, Naruto," Sakura was going through a moment of self-internalization, or whatever that was supposed to mean; she was a doctor, but she mostly stuck to her field, "say what?"

"That guy there," Naruto said, pointing to Sasuke yet again, "he's the one I've been talking about."

"My god. You picked the wrong guy to mess around with." Sakura sounded very alarmed as she perused Sasuke.

"Who's he anyway?" Naruto was really interested.

Sakura whipped her head around to look back at him, looking scandalized. "You idiot. That's Uchiha Sasuke. You know, the guy who runs that record company where all of the popular ones go to! I can't believe that you don't know him."

Naruto blinked some more. Then he started to look at Sasuke who, by then, was already seated.

"That can't be Uchiha Sasuke," Naruto said. "He looks young...er. And he's supposed to have these weird line-thingies under his eyes, too."

Sakura let out a frustrated groan.

"You've been looking at pictures of his older brother!" she said.

"How can you even be sure that that's him?" Naruto asked.

He just couldn't believe that he'd gotten information that was related to his job wrong.

"That's because he lords over some other Uchiha-owned companies," Sakura continued. "They're probably the best supplier of medicines that the hospital I work at has. He comes over every now and then to check the quality of his company's work." She thought that it was rather odd for someone to have such a wide range of companies. Really odd. But then, they did say that the Uchiha made the impossible happen. (Still, Sakura was a rather logical woman.)

This Sasuke-guy also sounded dedicated to his job. That was what Naruto thought.

Perhaps there was more to him than being a seemingly snot-nosed, good-looking, rich bastard. After all, Sakura did say something about him leading the best medicine supplier that the hospital had. And Sakura was really strict when it came to the best.

It was Naruto's turn to sigh.

Figures. Life really was as complex as they said it to be.

"HEY! HOLD THE ELEVATOR!"

Naruto really wanted to get home now. He was tired and he wouldn't want to wait for around five minutes more for a new elevator to pop up. However, as soon as he entered the elevator, he regretted his decision.

Three people had already been inside the elevator. One of them would be Sasuke.

Naruto immediately scowled and turned his back to the guy.

Sasuke was utterly indifferent.

Naruto was usually the type of person who didn't get angry for long. He was incessantly forgiving. But there was just something about that Uchiha that pushed his buttons far more than anyone did.

Soon enough, only he and Sasuke were the only ones left on the elevator. Four more floors to go before—

And then everything went haywire.

The elevator stopped in its ascent and the lights died, too.

What shitty luck he had, Naruto thought.

"Must be a power surge," Sasuke muttered. He leaned on one of the walls and made the best of it.

He'd just gotten back from grocery shopping and some of the food he had with him ought to be refrigerated soon, which was why this whole elevator mishap ought to disappear soon, too.

Some time had passed. And Sasuke was now thinking how to make the administration pay for the losses that occurred during the cessation of elevator services.

(break)

It was dark. Really dark.

Naruto began to sweat.

It was also a rather small space.

Naruto began to breathe in and out.

It was taking quite long for them to fix the elevator. Five minutes in a dark and definitely not-working elevator was too long of a time.

Naruto began to hyperventilate.

That was when Sasuke noticed that something was wrong with the blond.

He, who was far from having a specialization in any medical field, punched Naruto to get the boy out of it. It might've made it worse, but it wasn't as if Sasuke knew anything to make it better either.

It was probably good that Naruto wasn't experiencing real hyperventilation.

"They say that during times like these, it's best to talk," Sasuke said.

He was most probably a jerk, but he wouldn't at all want a dead person on his hands.

Naruto blinked and then looked at Sasuke. But, of course, due to the darkness of the elevator, he couldn't see him. Naruto merely opted for looking at where he thought Sasuke was.

"Talk? You sure don't seem like the person who'd suggest that," Naruto said.

"Would you rather act like some sort of scaredy-cat then?" Sasuke drawled.

"What?!"

"You heard me."

"I'll have you know that it's a medical condition."

"You've yet to conquer your fears then." He said this in a "matter of fact" tone. The one tone that irritated Naruto to no end because when people used that tone, it usually meant that they thought that he possessed not a single iota of intelligence.

Naruto was smart, too! Just not that smart. "Heh. What are you then? Mister Fearless? Stop acting so cool, bastard."

Sasuke was silent for a while. Naruto believed that he finally got the guy. He grinned. One point for him then. (And probably a billion for Sasuke, but he wasn't about to allow himself to think that. Oh, wait, he just did, dammit.)

"I'm supposed to be," Sasuke answered after a while.

"Supposed? To be what?" Naruto asked.

"Fearless. Impressive. A plethora of many wondrous words."

The conversation was taking a rather deadly route. One that Naruto wouldn't want to go in.

"It would seem pathetic for someone like you to be afraid of something," Sasuke said soon enough. "A blitzing ball of blinding sunshine."

Naruto promptly got lost. Was he supposed to take that as a compliment or something? Because he sure as hell won't.

"Yeah, yeah, whatever, smart-ass," Naruto grumbled.

"Being afraid of the dark would only prove to be a rather large hindrance to you," Sasuke said.

"What are you now? My therapist or something?"

"Listen, idiot, I'm doing this out of goodwill. Stop ruining it."

"So now you show your true colors."

And before he knew it, Naruto suddenly wasn't afraid anymore.

(break)

They had spent a good deal of time in that little elevator. A little over an hour and a half, it seemed. Naruto had accompanied Sasuke as the latter protested — though the way Sasuke complained seemed a little bit too smart for it to be called as mere protesting — about certain products that he'd bought being ruined by being stuck in the elevator.

He had raised war in the administration room. Naruto seemed somewhat honored that he was able to see such a thing.

A couple of minutes later after Sasuke won the argument (without a doubt), the two of them found themselves in front of their own doors,

"You..." Naruto started to say.

Sasuke turned to look at him, wondering why the other seemed a bit hesitant to continue his sentence.

"You're a pretty okay guy," Naruto said.

After which he quickly opened his door and went in, seemingly afraid of seeing Sasuke's reaction to his words.

Sasuke blinked. And then made his own way inside his house. Without knowing it, a small smile was on his face. He soon began to frown as soon as he noticed that he was smiling.

Something was wrong with him today. He was pretty sure that that Uzumaki Naruto, the peskiest neighbor he'd ever had, had something to do with it.

Three months had been spent in relative peace. Though the definition of peace, for Sasuke, had drastically changed ever since he and Naruto met.

Today, Sasuke was going through his usual rounds. His shoes made confident-sounding "tlacks" whenever it met the ground. His head was raised high and his back was straight. Just the way an Uchiha should walk. Or so his brother had said.

Off he was to inspect whether or not everyone was doing their jobs. He couldn't have any of his valuable underlings slacking off. Or jerking off for some crude employees. Was there not a segment inside the work handbook that said that office sex was not allowed at all?

"I've been waiting a very long time to tell this to yooooouuuu!" someone's voice blared through the speakers of one of his employees.

Sasuke's ears twitched. That wasn't who he thought was, was it? But then, there was only one person that he knew that had such a voice. Still, god forbid that it was—

"UCHIHA SASUKE. I'VE NOW REALIZED MY FEELINGS FOR YOU. ACCEPT THEM, YOU BASTARD!" Naruto said. "LOVE. UZUMAKI NARUTO. P.S. I KNOW YOU WANT TO BE GAY WITH ME!"

A dreadful sort of silence went through the floor. Sasuke felt mortified as different pairs of eyes looked at him. Partially gone was all the dignity he carried with him. Not that it was obvious, of course. It was more of an internal thing.

Naruto had hijacked a radio show's time just to tell that? He hadn't barged in just any radio station, too. Oh, no. He just went inside the most popular radio station during the day when most people were hearing it.

At least that little announcement explained to Sasuke why Naruto had been acting odder than the usual.

"Why, Sauce, you're such a lover boy!" Suigetsu, one of his employees, said with a grin.

Suigetsu and he went a long way back. A really long way. Needless to say, Suigetsu felt exceedingly comfortable around Sasuke.

"Suigetsu, if you want me to leave alone your water bottle, shut up," Sasuke said.

"Shutting up, shutting up," Suigetsu said, though the grin was still present on his face.

This was not his day at all.

(break)

When Sasuke and Naruto met in the lobby, the latter was grinning like a madman.

"Did you hear that, Sasuke?" he asked.

"Hear what?" Sasuke asked. He could barely stop himself from gritting his teeth in anger. He'd received endless teasing from Suigetsu after that fiasco.

With a frown, Naruto answered, "My confession of love, of course!"

Sasuke punched Naruto and pushed the up-button. A large, menacing scowl was on his face. When Naruto came to, he swore that he saw dark little clouds hovering above Sasuke.

"What was that for?!" Naruto cried indignantly as he clutched his nose.

Despite having been Sasuke's (and dear Sakura's, too) punching bag for a while now, he still couldn't find it in himself to grow accustomed with the punches.

"For being an even bigger idiot than the usual," Sasuke said, sounding very smug.

There was a soft ding that announced the presence of an elevator. He and Naruto went inside.

As he did so, Naruto had to wonder how he even managed to fall for a bastard such as Sasuke.

"Little brother, I'm getting married in December with a woman that I am, as odd as it might sound, madly in love with. I would like you to come back home in order to meet with me the family of my fianceé." That was what met his ears when he decided to listen to all the messages that had been left for him on his phone.

Sasuke was, through and through, befuddled. He sat on the sofa adjacent to his phone, feeling that he needed to think about the situation thoroughly. He allowed himself to slouch a bit, readying himself for around an hour or two of thinking. Now was not the time to be aware of how improper he looked like.

Befuddled. The word didn't even cover the confusion he was currently undergoing. His brother? Getting married? He hadn't even heard that Itachi had a girlfriend. Of course, this made him want to sulk. Getting a girlfriend was serious family business and Itachi hadn't even bothered to tell him? When they met again, Sasuke was going to hoard his brother with questions.

But still, it was rather surprising that Itachi was going to get married. And in half a year's time, too!

What was the world coming to now?

It wasn't as if his brother was capable of amassing — yes, he was quite aware that it was a rather crude term, but there was no other word to properly describe the "wooing" stage with someone like Itachi — a girlfriend. But women just weren't comfortable with the man. They'd always said that he looked rather scary. If not scary, then creepy.

Sasuke thought that it was a load of bull. Then again, he adored his brother to bits and pieces, even though it wasn't quite evident.

Between Itachi and Sasuke, people had always said that the latter possessed a more amicable face. One that seemed more pampered. One that women and men alike would worship. Sasuke thought that was utter bull, too.

Though there was once a time when he told his brother, "I'm sure that you'll get married," thinking that his brother might possibly also get saddened by comments like those. It had been a rather embarrassing moment and had ended up with his forehead being poked by his brother.

Sasuke closed his eyes and rid himself of the happy memories. It was time to be logical.

He would need to get the name of his brother's fianceé. He suddenly started to look rather worried. A lot of what-if's went through his mind. He delved even more into a world of thought and paranoia.

Around a couple of minutes, a series of knocks assaulted his door. Sasuke rose from his sofa, feeling more robotic than ever as he tried to digest the fact that his brother was actually getting married and as he thought of various horrid scenarios which had Itachi's mystery woman in it.

When he opened the door, he scowled at the visitor and wondered why he hadn't looked through the peephole before he opened the door.

Naruto beamed at Sasuke, looking just as happy as ever. He was holding a bottle of champagne, a couple of instant ramen cups (Sasuke had merely deduced that they were ramen from the fact that Naruto was more than your daily ramen enthusiast), and a basket filled with... finger food.

"Hello there!" he greeted with that gratingly cheerful tone of his. At least it sounded rather grating to Sasuke who was encountering a possible thought-breakdown due to his brother's unexpected situation.

Naruto took a step inside Sasuke's home, only to find the door being blocked even more by Sasuke.

"What makes you so sure that I'll invite you?" Sasuke asked.

"We've gotta celebrate!" Naruto said. "My sister's getting married!"

Sasuke blinked. Then he rolled his eyes. "You expect me to believe that? You yourself told me that you had no siblings."

"You remembered that?" The glee was evident in Naruto's voice. And so was the larger grin on his face.

Sasuke found the error of his wording. And quickly tried to cover it. "That's not important. The fact of the matter is that I'm not letting you in and that the reason that you're giving me is utterly preposterous."

With all the seriousness he could muster, Naruto said, "I'll start singing if you don't welcome me in."

"Consider yourself inside my house." Sasuke was terrified.

"Hey! That's mean!"

Sasuke quirked an eyebrow. "You don't want to come in?"

"I do! But still! You letting me in after I just told you that I'd sing? That's pretty mean."

"I'd rather let my house be trashed than my ears beyond repair."

It was the day of the family shindig that his brother needed him to be in. Sasuke wouldn't miss it for the world. After all, the only people in their family was he and Itachi. It would be unbecoming if he didn't come and left his brother to fend the lucky woman's family all alone; read as, it would be unbecoming if he let his brother kill people that the fianceé was related to.

It was being held in the revered Uchiha Compound. To be more exact, it was being held in one of the gardens there. The garden that his mother oft frequented. There was a long, white table and comfortable red armchairs. A makeshift roof, yet it looked far too expensive for it to be called makeshift, was above their heads.

And Sasuke saw Naruto amongst the people on the table when he arrived.

His eyes widened in realization. He soon groaned and put his hands over his ears, a reflex of his whenever he thought of that man. His brows knotted and a scowl was formed by his lips.

For the love of god. It was impossible. It couldn't be. This was a dream.

His brother. His perfect older brother. Itachi couldn't have meant that that idiot's relative was the person he was dating and was currently "madly in love with" — a phrase which deeply terrified Sasuke as soon as they left his brother's lips. Itachi just couldn't be engaged to a relative of Naruto's. Not at all.

Sasuke was rather fine with the prospect of Itachi having Konan as his fianceé. The woman seemed to be level-headed and witty enough to handle Itachi — he'd seen her as she was with his brother when he was fetched from the airport. What Sasuke was fussing about was the fact that Konan and Naruto were related.

Pseudo-related via a man called Jiraiya who informally adopted almost everyone he saw into his family. Konan had been his student and he was Naruto's godfather. Therefore the term Konan and Naruto being pseudo-related.

Sasuke was being highly paranoid, even more so than the usual, but Naruto could make him think like that.

He felt sick. Really sick.

To make things worse, didn't Naruto have a penchant for singing all of a sudden?

Normally, of course, Sasuke wouldn't mind someone who sung horridly. But then again, all of the talented singers that he'd met didn't live next door to him, therefore implying that he didn't need to hear their vocals at work.

Even worse than that was that they'd probably need to be together during family reunions. And people were crazier during family reunions.

By that time, Naruto had noticed him and moved towards him. And plopped on the seat beside him. Sasuke groaned. Naruto payed no heed to it, of course.

"Hey there, Sasuke! Looks like we'll be seeing each other much more!" Naruto chirped.

Itachi quirked an eyebrow. Konan merely looked away, seemingly a bit embarrassed. Sasuke could understand her though.

"You two know each other?" Itachi asked, though it sounded off more than a statement than a question.

Naruto nodded. "I'm going to be his—"

"We live on the same floor," Sasuke quickly interjected before Naruto could continue that rather mortifying sentence. Mortifying only on his part, of course.

Itachi nodded. Then he turned again to Konan.

His brother... Sasuke was rather happy for his brother.

"Knew it," Naruto said in the softest voice he could manage, "you're secretly a sap for happy endings, aren't you, Sasuke?"

Sasuke resisted the urge to punch Naruto yet again.

In the middle of a thunderstorm and during the days when Sasuke would allow himself to indulge in something without having to worry about work, someone knocked on the door. It sounded rather urgent, too, given the volume and amount of raps the door was receiving.

Sasuke sighed, lamenting what seemed to be the end of his Alone Time, before he answered the door. Only to find Naruto who was doing a damn horrible job of pretending that he wasn't afraid.

"What is it this time, idiot?" Sasuke asked.

He was honestly worried, really. Because Naruto wasn't the type to be scared. Sasuke was worried that there might be a serial killer on the loose. Or something terrifying like that. And Naruto had gone over to his humble abode in order to tell him the news.

"He-Hey there," now Sasuke was really worried — when did Naruto stutter? "I know that we're not the best of friends and all, even though I like you far too much for my own good, but could I stay here for a while?"

Sasuke opened the door even more and stepped to the side to allow Naruto to come in. Which the other, of course, did. Ever since the elevator escapade, there was hardly a time that Naruto wouldn't want to come to Sasuke's house. And rare was the time that Sasuke actually allowed him to come into the aforementioned house.

Naruto seated himself on one of the nice armchairs and shuddered when he heard thunder.

Sasuke didn't even need to ask what was wrong. He merely made two cups of hot chocolate and placed one in front of Naruto.

Naruto was rather thankful, of course. For both the hot choco and the no-questions thing. He didn't need to have his manliness butchered in front of the guy he wanted to impress the most.

(break)

Naruto ended up staying until morning.

Naruto smiled into his drool-covered pillow.

Whoa. Major back the fuck up.

Naruto blinked. And then he grimaced when he saw his pillow. Sure, he could be as crude as they get, but that? That was something else. His pillow looked like it'd been dipped in water or something.

Yeah, his dream was a real beaut for him to have smothered his pillow with this amount of saliva.

What a wonderful dream it was.

It was probably his most vivid wet dream of Sasuke. It was just so fucking amazing. Literally, too.

He was, in no way, utterly ashamed that he was still having wet dreams at such an age. Yes, it was just that awesome. And worthwhile.

Then he heard the groan that changed his whole life. Naruto was a man of exaggerations and that was what made life exciting for him.

He looked at his bed partner and promptly fell off his bed in surprise.

Was it even his bed?

He looked at his surroundings.

OhfuckingshithehitthejackpotandSasukewasgoingtokillhim. That was exactly how the thought ran across his head. Simply coherent. That was how Naruto thought things through.

Last night was coming back to him slowly, yet surely.

He was pretty sure last night included lots of liquor, a drinking contest, Kiba who was always there whenever something happened to him, some fishy-looking friend of Sasuke's, and Sasuke. Who could surprisingly hold his liquor very much.

So then... they really did...

Naruto didn't know whether or not he should be ecstatic or terrified for his life.

He climbed back up the bed and peered at Sasuke who seemed as if he was slowly stirring to life. Soon enough, dark-colored eyes were meeting his gaze. He gulped and awaited Sasuke's reaction.

Oh, yeah. Naruto felt doomed.

If that moan that displayed excruciating pain was anything to go by.

"You idiot, what the fuck did you do?" Sasuke asked.

Naruto was surprised to note that Sasuke had a very colorful array of words in the morning when compared to fully-awake-Sasuke. Perhaps this was one of those quirks.

Naruto also felt rather insulted that Sasuke always thought that he was always the one in the wrong.

"We had sex, bastard," he said as bluntly as he could.

Bastard deserved no mercy.

"Stop shitting me and tell me the truth, moron," Sasuke gnarled.

Naruto held his own dick firmly and waved it. He, with his free hand, pointed to it and said, "See this! This is hardly ever out of underwear unless I'm in the bathroom or unless it was used for sex the night before or whatever time before I woke up."

Sasuke arched an eyebrow and turned away. "Put that back where it came from. What you're doing is utterly disgusting."

"Where it came from? It came from your ass, Sasuke! Should I put it back there then? I recall it liking your ass very much." This was accompanied with a bit of eyebrow wiggling.

"I need a cup of coffee." This one was accompanied with Sasuke massaging his temples.

He stood up, noted that he was in some amount of pain, and promptly went to his bathroom to get hooked on some pain-relieving drugs. And maybe on some other powerful shit that would allow him to not hear Naruto's awful laugh and horrid singing and, overall, terrifying voice.

(break)

When Sasuke emerged from the bathroom (fully clothed now, mind you), Naruto (who was, in stark contrast to his state of complete dress, wearing boxers) was fiddling with his kitchen and the contents of his kitchen and making breakfast. He decided that Naruto should, indeed, make breakfast. After all, the moron deserved to do it.

Then again, it seemed as if Naruto enjoyed making breakfast so it didn't seem quite like a punishment. Sasuke frowned at this. He sat on one of the chairs in his kitchen and watched Naruto work.

In just a couple of minutes more, a tasty-looking breakfast was now on the table and a grinning Naruto was sitting parallel to him.

"Sooooo," Naruto started to say.

"So what?" Sasuke asked, sounding very much sour as he took a bite of the strip of bacon on his plate.

If it was possible, the grin on Naruto's face grew. "You love me, too, huh?"

"Whatever made you get that conclusion?" Sasuke was wondering if he had answered far too fast.

"Well, you did sleep with me."

"We were drunk, you imbecile. Heavily drunk." If his hangover was any indication, of course. And he could pretty much sense that if Naruto was a normal person, the blond would be withering in pain. (But, no, Naruto seemed to be a fucking masochist and liked being hurt.)

"Still! You know, you slept with me!" Naruto was obviously not going to let the whole sleeping issue down. He was stubborn that way.

"You don't need to be romantically attracted to someone to sleep with them," Sasuke said, crossing his arms in front of his chest. Well, Naruto needed to be humored every now and then, too.

True, true. But Naruto would like to have a wee bit more intimacy. After all, even though Sasuke might not like him the way he liked him, Naruto still liked to imagine that Sasuke did like him. This statement had never failed to confuse him beyond belief.

Eh, either way, Naruto never failed in making his dreams reality.

"You're just being in denial of your love!" Naruto exclaimed.

"I'm not in denial," Sasuke said as calmly as he could, "I clearly just don't like you that way."

Naruto scowled. "And you've got a petty reason for not liking me, too, bastard!"

It was yet another one of those "Naruto goes off to woo/e Sasuke's heart again" days. But this time around, Naruto was more persistent than ever. Running after someone who was initially a stranger and someone he hated for almost a year was a feat for him.

Sasuke glared at him. "I hardly see where's the problem in hating you because you have an awful singing voice. Those kinds of things can ruin relationships, too." People get turned-off after all. Sasuke just happened to be pickier than most, therefore making sure that he got turned-off quite easily. Not that he'd ever been interested in Naruto from the beginning.

"Wait. Are you insinuating here that you were interested in me before I opened my mouth and started to sing?" A huge grin started to appear on Naruto's face. And, of course, the idiot chose this moment to be all-knowing.

"I'm not." A frustrated groan came out of Sasuke's mouth at this part. "Stop making all of these assumptions and leave me be."

"You're trying to change the topic, aren't you?"

Since when did Naruto ever sound so smart? This would probably that time, Sasuke thought. A rather wrong time, too.

"Just shut up and eat, Naruto," he said.

"You do know that you just called me by my real name in a potentially life-altering conversation, don't you?" Naruto asked, that grin of his still stuck on his face.

"What did I just say? Or would you rather that you be black-and blue."

Naruto winced at that. If there was anything he knew about Sasuke, it was that the guy carried out his threats. "No thanks," Naruto said, "but, hey, I'd do anything if it meant that I'd get closer to your heart and stuff. And if agreeing to your whims is one of them, heck, I'd shut up and eat."

A peaceful sort of silence hung upon them afterwards.

That was, until Sasuke said, "It might."

Naruto had deftly broken into a grin. And didn't fail to notice that there was a small smile on Sasuke's face.