The Toilet Wars

Summary:The Snape's answer(s) to that age old battle between men, women and the john.

A/N: This is not DH compatible, probably not very compatible with any of the books for that matter, but I tried to keep the characters cannon.

It is funny where and when inspiration strikes. This story hit me upon entering the bathroom while on my internship. There are six or seven guys that I work with and I am the only girl on most days. As you can imagine that such a thing as Hermione is dealing with, that I also have to as well. So my imagination that I have turned out to pasture for a time, seems now to have gone semi feral and has brought me back this inspired idea. I hope you like reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it.

For those of you who are waiting ever so patiently for the next chapter in Raising Phoenix, I thank you. Don't worry I should have it up soon. I had a large chunk of it done by then my hard drive decided to take a permanent vacation and take everything I have typed in the last month and a half with it. So needless to say I have to rewrite that chapter. Lucky I was able to rescue most of my other documents from various sources. I would suggest that if you have something important, email it to yourself. It really is a good thing to have as a back up on the email server.

Well it seems that this authors note is a bit out of date, but then again it is always good to remind people that our wonderful technology is not exactly iron clad as we would all like to think. The next chapter of Raising Phoenix will be up soon as it is. Anyways, on to the story.

Chapter 1

The Last Straw

"Severus, for the last time, would you please remember to put the toilet seat down when you are done!" This statement was heard echoing the dark, damp dungeon walls far too often the past two years since the Potions Master and Hogwarts' newest Transfigurations teacher Hermione Granger (now Snape) had been married. This statement was usually followed with a somewhat noncommittal grunt of a semi-apologetic, "I will remember next time dear." But of course, he would 'forget' again next time.

Well, enough was enough as far as Hermione was concerned. She was finally fed up, sick and tired of trying to deal with the toilet seat suck in its non-original and upright position every time she wanted to use the loo. She had been talking to her friends and it seemed that they were not having such a big problem as herself. Ginny had trained Harry to put the seat down after use, Luna had trained Neville and even Susan had somehow managed to train the impossibly hard headed and highly habitual Ron to put it back down when he was done. She just didn't get it. She had done everything she possibly could to make the man remember that the toilet seat should be lowered when finished short of swatting him with a rolled up newspaper.

Finally she decided that the spectrum from gentle persuasion to nagging him about it was not going to work, so she decided that she was going to have to get creative. After thinking about what she could possibly do to help encourage the outcome she wanted she was suddenly hit with a bolt of inspiration. With an ever so slightly evil grin of one who has a terribly naughty idea, and a twinkle in her eye that could rival any from Dumbledore, she gathered her things to go out one Saturday and apparated to Diagon Alley. She had some visiting to do with the twins and a favor to cash in from Fred.

A/N: Well I hope you all liked it. I have a couple more chapters before it is all finished. I would like at least five reviews before I post the next chapter. The only reason I do this is that my little shorties don't seem to ever get any reviews and it makes me sad to not know what is going on out their in fanfic land. Do people like what I have written or not? Anyways, I love to hear from you all.

as always I have to mention my wonderful fan fic sis Skydancinghobbit who helps me weed out the bad ideas. hope you enjoy this little fic- Dragons Quill