A/NHey everybody! I'm back from an incredibly long writer's slump! And I've also decided that I really like oneshots, and unless I can come up with a good idea for a chaptered fic, I'm gonna become a oneshot master! With that, here is a random oneshot featuring AAML (of course), and for all you Contestshippers out there, some DAML (my first attempt so be nice please)! And reviews are greatly appreciated if you have the time! Enjoy!
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Midnight Craziness
"Ugh, where the heck is he?" Misty Waterflower groaned as she plopped down on the couch.
It was a Saturday night at the Ketchum residence, and Misty, May, Drew, and Ash were housesitting for Mrs. Ketchum while she was out of town. That is, until Ash decided they needed something to spice up their uneventful night and took off.
"Yeah really." May sat down beside her. "He's been gone for like two hours! What could he possibly be doing?"
Misty sighed. "Eh, who knows….and Drew's been hogging the TV the whole time! May, he'll listen to you. Get him off!"
She glanced over at Drew who was in the middle of an intense Guitar Hero marathon on Expert. He was rapidly fingering and strumming the notes, a glazed expression on his face, while simultaneously listening to a completely different song on his MP3 player.
"On second thought, leave him there. Maybe he'll have a seizure!" Misty smirked.
"Yeah, but then we'll have to call an ambulance or clear out his body if he dies."
May got up and stood in front of the TV, causing Drew to crash and burn on the song as he struggled to see around her.
"Dammit, May!" Drew yelled, removing his headphones. "What was that for? I was almost done with the song!"
"You were in the red zone anyway! And Misty and I want to watch TV now 'cause you've been playing that all night! You're practically in love with it!" May yelled right back.
"Am not!" Drew twitched a little as he held the guitar controller close, stroking it. "Urgh, fine! Watch TV! Besides, Steven's probably tired from playing all night, aren't you? Let's go!" Drew sauntered off, still murmuring to "Steven" the controller.
Misty blinked. "Well May. Now that Drew's off to make out with Guitar Hero, I'd say you've got no chance with him."
Rolling her eyes, May was about to retort when, suddenly, the front door slammed open, and a figure clad in all black entered the house.
Instinctively, the two trainers reached to their pockets for their Pokéballs, but they stopped short when the "intruder" aimed a gun at them. Just as Drew ran in with Steven in tow, the person spoke.
"Put your hands up!" The figure dramatically tore off its ski mask. "And worship me, 'cause I found the perfect thing for us to do tonight! Paintball! Yeah!" Ash beamed proudly.
The others stared at him in shock for a beat before Misty and May tackled him to the ground and started beating him up.
"What the hell did you think you were doing, Ketchum?"
"We thought you were a burglar!"
"Waaaahhh!"
"Shield your eyes, Steven! It's too violent! Oh wait. You don't have arms! Here I'll shield them for you!" Drew continued to babble like a fool.
At this, May jumped out of the frenzy of fists and nails, grabbed Steven, whacked Drew over the head with "him", and threw Steven out the window.
May looked back over at the forming dust cloud in the hallway. She frowned.
"Hey, Misty! He's not screaming anymore! I think you killed him!"
Misty stopped punching, and the dust cloud cleared to reveal her on top of a very beat-up Ash.
Misty shrugged. "Oh well! He deserved it! But how're we gonna tell his mom?"
"Shut up, Misty! I'm still alive!" Ash groaned from under her. "And, jeez, sorry you little girls freak out anytime someone comes to the door! And yes, Drew, I'm including you in the 'little girl category'!"
"Eh, I figured….." Drew muttered, clutching his still-throbbing head.
"Now I know it's probably very enjoyable for you to be sitting on me, Misty, but if you'd shove off, we can all have some real fun!" Ash smirked as a blushing Misty rolled off him.
"Y-Yeah, if stalking through the woods in the middle of the night, carrying guns loaded with colorful, rash-inducing paint, while occasionally shooting at people, and missing most of the time, causing you to hit trees or possibly even Pokémon, therefore contributing to the slow but sure destruction/vandalism of our earth and only home is your idea of fun….." Misty paused for breath. "Then I'd say, YEAH!! LET'S DO IT!!" She pumped her fist in excitement.
Ash, May, and Drew exchanged smug glances before moving off to ready their ammunition.
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The four teens stood by the back door of the house, paintball guns in hand, ready to wreak some havoc.
"Alright, we should send people out in three-minute increments. That way we don't know where anyone's hiding. Everyone got their watches?" Ash put his hand out, displaying his wristwatch.
"Yeah." Everyone replied, putting their hands in the middle too. They all stood there awkwardly for a second.
"Well, now that our hands are in the middle, we kinda have to do a cheer or something….." Drew muttered quietly.
May sweatdropped. "What? That's the lamest thing I've ever heard!"
"Well, sorry! I don't make the rules of team motivation! It's just kinda common knowledge that whenever a group of people has their hands together, they all have to throw them up and yell 'Break!' or 'Teamwork!' or something like that to get pumped…." Drew shot May an annoyed glance.
Misty nodded. "Yeah, he does have a point…..Except we're not a team….We're all gonna be shooting against each other….So what should we say?"
"We could all just yell 'Huzzah!'" Ash suggested.
"Huzzah?" May looked confused.
Drew smirked. "'Huzzah' is a phrase that originated in the 16th century as a sailors' cry. It is used as an exclamation of joy, applause, or appreciation. 'Hurrah' is an interchangeable synonym."
"I know what it means, Captain Know-It-All! Sheesh! Let's just say it and start so I can shoot this loser's brains out!" May gave an exasperated sigh as she rolled her eyes.
A smile twitched at Drew's lips. "Y'know, May, technically you couldn't 'shoot anyone's brains out' with a paintball gun 'cause--."
This time everyone was fed up. "Shut up, Drew!" They all said, annoyed.
Finally, the group threw their hands up, yelled "Huzzah!" (some more enthusiastically than others), and broke apart, Misty heading into the forest first. As planned, in three-minute increments, she was followed by May, then Drew, and Ash brought up the rear.
The battle had begun……
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Misty looked around warily from her vantage point slightly up the hill.
Where the heck is everybody? I should've at least seen May…..
Suddenly, a twig snapped to her left. She whirled around to face her stalker. It was--only a small Caterpie slinking around on the ground.
Phew, see that, Misty? It's just a Caterpie! A tiny, cute…..green, friendly…..HOLY SHIT! That thing's gonna eat me alive!!
Misty started to back away, trying not to scream lest she give away her position in the woods. However, her slimy "attacker" was advancing upon her fast, and she couldn't help but let out a squeal of horror.
All of a sudden, she remembered.
Oh my gosh, duh! I can just shoot it with my paintball gun, and it'll go away!
Taking careful aim, she pulled the trigger, and, as she prophesied in her earlier rant, she missed, hitting a tree several feet behind. Frowning, she took aim once more, but hit the ground about a foot away. Spooked, the bug Pokémon began to worm its way back into the bushes.
Not so fast! Hehehe…..
In a final effort, Misty managed to clip the Caterpie on the tail, splattering it with blue paint as it disappeared into the brush.
She squealed again, this time out of happiness. "Dreams do come true!"
"Hehehe…..and so do nightmares!" An ominous voice cut the air behind her.
Misty turned around to see Ash standing with his gun aimed directly at her. She quickly aimed her gun at him. Now it was a waiting game to see who would fire first.
"Sheesh, Ash, you don't have to be such a creeper about this. I mean come on! 'So do nightmares?' Where'd you get that line? Naruto?"
Ash kept a straight face. "Hmm…your sadly uninformed reference to another Japanese anime show amuses me. And, therefore, I shall let you in on a little secret….I happen to know Naruto personally. He helped train me so that every night, I transform into a ninja. So I'd watch out if I were you."
Misty scoffed, rolling her eyes. "Oh har har, and I'm the Easter bunny. Now cut the ninja crap, and let's start shooting for real! What are you waiting for?"
"Well, actually I was stalling." He pointed to something behind her with a smirk. "I was waiting until those Beedrill got a little closer before I did anything."
Misty slowly turned around with a gulp, hoping that what he said wasn't true. Only trees were visible. She let out a sigh of relief that there were no Beedrill.
"Ash! There's no freakin' Beedrill! What're you--!"
BAM! Misty winced as she felt the paint splatter across her back.
"Oh, sorry! I guess it was just a cloud!" Ash giggled innocently before nailing her again…..and again…..and again!
"Stop it, Ash! Hey! That's so not fair! URGH!!"
Aiming her gun at him again, she attempted to shoot him back, but the continuous bombardment of paint bullets prevented her. Taking off further into the woods, Misty tried to escape, but Ash was right behind her, trilling his tongue in some sort of strange, primal battle cry.
"What's the matter, Mist? Scared of a few bugs?"
"No, you jerk!" Misty wheeled around to take a few shots at him but stopped short, almost causing the two to collide head-on.
Laughing breathlessly, Ash smiled. "I'm just messin' with ya, Mist! What're you lookin' at?" He had grown a little concerned seeing Misty's wide-eyed expression eyeing something in the distance.
He turned around to see. "Whoa, now that's ironic."
Five or six Beedrill were heading straight for them, being led by a Caterpie splattered with blue paint.
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Meanwhile, on the other side of the forest, Drew and May had found each other and were locked in an all-out paintball/insult war.
"You think you're so cool, Drew! Tryin' to act like the smartest person ever and flippin' your hair all over the place! Take that!" May cried as she fired at Drew, narrowly dodging one of his paintballs.
"I do not try to act like the smartest person ever, because I am the smartest person ever! Besides, you're just jealous that I'm such an amazing coordinator!"
Both sides continued to shoot.
"Yeah, well your face is a coordinator! No way am I jealous, Drew! Like I'd be jealous of a green-haired, egotistical Muppet with the social skills of a donut!"
"Ouch, May, that was a low blow! Muppet? Are you kidding me? I wouldn't be talking since you're a colorful freak right now too! Heh, guess my aim's a lot better than yours!"
"Psh, yeah right! You couldn't hit me even if you had a tennis racket with you!"
"Could, yes. Would, no. I'm not gonna hit a girl, May. Maybe if you were a piñata though…..Yes, I like piñatas…." Drew trailed off, looking thoughtful.
"Oh goody, Drew!" May squealed in a mock-excited voice. "Well, for my next birthday, I'll have a piñata just for you, and you can bash it all you want! But right now, I say we settle this once and for all. Guns away. We'll have an old-fashioned wrestling match! Just our strength and willpower! Whoever goes down first is at the mercy of the winner! Seven seconds on the ground and you lose!" May smirked as she set her paintball gun down, hands on her hips.
"Alright, fine! But it's not my fault if I accidentally kill you with my brute strength!" Drew set his gun down too, flexing his non-existent muscles.
Looking skeptical, May readied herself as Drew did the same.
"AAAAAAHHHH!!" The two ran at each other, and the tussle ensued.
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"Gee, that's funny, Ash. It sure looks like there's a swarm of Beedrill getting ready to attack us, but I think they must be just clouds, don't you?" Misty said, seething.
"Yeah, probably. Okay, so where were we?"
"Um, I do believe we were just getting ready to RUN FOR OUR LIVES!! AAAHHH!!" Misty bolted, running as fast as she could to get away from the giant bugs.
"You're not gonna touch her, Beedrill! POW!! You're dead!!" Ash shot a paintball at them, but the Pokémon were out of range. He cursed under his breath.
"Come on, Ash! Forget the paintballs!! That'll just make them angrier!" Misty called frantically from several yards away.
Ash caught up to her, and the two started running again.
"Yeah, but you're the one who shot the Caterpie in the first place! Now it's gone and summoned the winged insects of death to unleash their wrath on you! Oh yeah that's right! They're only mad at you! Heh, see ya!" He began to backpeddle the way they came.
"Oh no ya don't! If you leave me, I swear I'll pummel you harder than those Beedrill ever could!" Misty grabbed his collar and yanked him along.
"Oww!! Break my neck, why don't ya!! I was just kidding! Now Beedrill hate water, so I bet if we find a river, they'll leave us alone!"
Looking behind him, Ash checked to see if the Pokémon were still following them. They still were, and they were bearing down fast.
Ash gulped. "Alright. Scratch that! No time! Misty, we need to use the paintball guns! It's the only way!"
"Fine! But let's seriously hurry!" Misty stopped and reluctantly turned around to face the Beedrill.
The two took aim. They waited until the Beedrill were about twenty feet away…..and fired!
With surprising accuracy, Ash and Misty nailed the Pokémon numerous times, hindering their approach.
"It's working! Now start moving forward so we can drive them back!" Ash instructed.
BAM! BAM BAM BAM! They ran at the Beedrill, continuing to hit them with paintballs until finally the Pokémon backed off and began to fly away.
"Oh yeah!! Who's the paintball master?! Yes! In your creepy little faces, Beedrill! Think you can mess with us?! Well ya can't!! PEW PEW! That's right! You can all go back to your hives and cry 'cause we beat you! Alright! I need a high five or something 'cause I am PUMPED, MAN!!" Ash was very excited about this accomplishment.
"Yes, Ash, I'm sure you are pumped. But I think it's time that I got some shots at you since you pretty much drove me out of the country shooting at me!" Misty smirked, and, without hesitation, fired repeatedly.
"Misty! Hey! Okay!! I'm sorry! Just cut it out!" Paintballs continued to hit him.
In what she could feel were her last few stores of ammunition, Misty unleashed rapid fire on Ash, beating him square in the chest and knocking him over.
"Hey, you're right, Ash! Paintball is fun!" She giggled once her paintballs were all gone.
Ash stayed on the ground, not making an effort to get up.
"Ha ha, very funny! I'm out of paintballs, Ash. It's okay, I'm not gonna shoot you anymore."
However, Ash continued to lie there, unmoving and covered in paint.
Misty felt a twinge of nervousness shoot through her as she knelt down beside him. "Uh, Ash? I didn't really knock you out, did I? Ash? Wake up! I get it!"
She was about to shake him gently, when suddenly he shot up, grabbed her by the shoulders, and pinned her down.
"Ash!! You faker! What the heck?! Get off me!" Misty squirmed to be free. She could feel him moving forward. "Hey! You're dripping paint on me! What're you--?"
Ash's lips on hers cut her off. Misty shivered, but kissed him back, reaching up to run her fingers through his hair. After a few seconds, they broke apart, grinning.
"Does that make up for the wild shooting free-for-all?" He snickered.
Misty smiled, raising an eyebrow. "Well, that makes up for the paintball, yeah….But there's still the whole burglar thing, and bein' a creepy ninja, and tryin' to leave when the Beedrill came, and--."
But Ash was way ahead of her, apologizing all over again.
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"May! I want a rematch! My arm was sore from playing Guitar Hero! You had the advantage!" Drew complained. Their wrestling match had lasted all of ten seconds before May had Drew rammed up against a tree in a headlock.
"You're not gonna cry, are ya Drew? After all, Ash did say you were in the 'little girl category'! Now bow down before May! Your new master and warrior of the superior sex! Hah! What say you to that, Drew-doodle?" She smirked, using a nickname that was sure to aggravate him further.
He sighed. "First, I say that is the queerest name ever! Never call me that again! And second, I would like to request one last minute of freedom before your iron hand forces me into indentured servitude for the rest of my life….."
"Okay, I guess." May released him from her hold. "What do you wanna do?"
Before May could say anything else, Drew was kissing her hard. After a second, he pulled away, amused at the stunned expression on her face. Lightly, he pushed her over, and she fell to the ground, still dazed.
"Seven……six…….five……four……three……two……one…….And that's it! I won it! Bwahaha!! You said seven seconds on the ground! You had me against a tree! That doesn't count! Yessss!!" Drew pumped his fist in the air.
"B-but….you….I…." May stammered.
Kneeling down beside her, Drew laughed. "What is it, May? Spit it out!"
Pulling herself together, May looked at Drew, a hint of mischief in her eyes. "But I thought you were in love with Steven?"
"We're close friends, but I don't think a relationship would really work out between us."
"Well, that's good." May said, wrapping her arms around his neck. "So you don't think he'll pound you if I steal you?"
"Nope. He doesn't have arms, so I think we're good." Smirking, Drew leaned in to kiss her again.
THE END!!
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A/N Ta-da! That's it!! Hope you liked it! Please please PLEASE let me know how it was in a review!! I especially wanna know how I did with DAML for the first time! So if you could review that'd be GREAT!! Until next time!! Oh and check out the sequel too entitled 'Lights, Camera, Action?'! ;D