The not-so-pregnant prank, and oh-so smexy mr. Sasuke.

By: Blu-babe

Don't Own Naruto. Wish I Could, But Don't And Can't.

Ah..also...still no Word program with spell checking...but it should be okay.

The small clearing echoed the choked curses of an annoyed dark haired man. His eyes pinned his team mate to the ground before him. Said orange shinobi was however, less than afraid of the glare he was receiving, in fact, he was laughing quite merrily.

"You should have seen the look on you face teme!" Howled the orange shinobi, between gasps for breath.

This only served to make the dark haired man's eye twicth in annoyance. The angered look he was sporting, however, was short lived as he receded back under his emotionless facade. "Hn." It was his trademark grunt. It generally meant "go die," or "watching you do something stupid may be mildly amusing so I'll follow you."

Meanwhile, not ten minutes from the two young men, a woman with pink hair grinned widely at her reflection in the river and she pulled off her red wig and fake glasses. Ever since the dark haired man had returned, and she had been oh so fortunate enough to have a run in with Karin, his own (poorly) hand chosen team mate from team Hebi, she had taken great joy in torturing him.

It was, after all, only fair that she got her revenge against him. He DID leave her on a bench, in the middle of the night, unconcious, after all. It was only fair he relive his worst nightmare as she did.

"Though, I may have gone a little too far this time," She giggled out loud, recalling how she had conned Kakashi and Naruto into helping her out this time. They had agreed without much need for persuastion, which had not surprised her. They all wanted a little revenge against the Uchiha.

The orange clad shinobi snickered as their pink haired team mate strolled into the clearing a short while later, looking slightly confused. "Uchiha, I think I just saw Karin-chan by the river. She was wailing about something, I believe I heard 'Rejected' and 'unborn child'?"

The dark haired man, also known as Uchiha Sasuke and/or teme, promptly fainted.

"Is he out cold Naruto?" The pink haired woman asked cautiously, her hands hiding the wig and costume behind her back.

The orange shinobi grinned and nodded, "Oh yeah, he's out like a light Sakura-chan."

She smirked and rushed over to her bag to hide the 'Karin' costume. "You know, I hate to say it, but his time with Orochimaru did him some good. Personality wise of course. Eight years ago that wouldn't have even gotten a raised eyebrow from him. Now he faints."

Dark eyes darted around as Uchiha Sasuke carefully made his way down the street. It had been two weeks since Karin stumbled into his camp and claimed to be carrying his 'love child.' Since then, she kept popping up everywhere demanding he marry her...and oddly enough she seemed to be getting really huge, reeeeaaaaaallllllyyyyy fast. Just yesterday she had been seven months along. And the worst part was, he couldn't remember if he had slept with her.

Sakura straightened out her 'pregnant Karin' costume and adjusted her glasses as she spotted the Uchiha sneak around town. "Today's the final day Uchiha, hope you're ready to be the daddy of an itsy bitsy Naruto." She snickered quietly before composing herself into a sobbing mess. "Show time."

Ino had been minding her own business, picking up some things from a fruitstand, when a bawling Sakura, dressed as Karin, barreled past her, and collided with a very terrified looking Sasuke. She immediately turned her attention to the show, forgetting her errand.

Sasuke had just stepped out from hiding behind a pole, in order to dash over to the next one, when something HUGE tackled him to the ground, soaking him in tears. "K-K-Kar-rin..." He stuttered nervously, too terrified at the fact that she now appeared to be a full nine months along to notice that the whole street full of people was smirking at him.

"Oh thank the gods I found you Sasuke-kun!" She shreiked into his poor, poor ear, "My water broke and I wanted you to be there for the birth of your son!" He went stiff as a board when he heard what she screamed at him, sweat pouring off him in waves.

"W-what?" Was all he could squeak out as the incredibly large woman, with pink hair pulled him to his feet.

He closed his eyes, praying that this was NOT happening, when something clicked. The incredibly large woman with PINK hair. His eyes snapped open, "Sakura." He growled, after confirming that the 'Karin' in front of him had short pink hair instead of the messily cut mostly long RED hair (which he thought was ugly as fuck.)

She froze and looked at the ground, spotting her red wig laying messily in the dirt. 'DAMN, SHIT, FUCK!' She screamed in her mind. Her prank was completely ruined now. "Heh...hello Sasuke-kun. My...er...uh...my god did you see how fat Karin has gotten!" She threw her hands behind her back, quickly placing a genjutsu over her appearance, so she seemed to be completely normal. Instead of in a fake pregnant Karin costume.

Sasuke blinked as his team mate suddenly looked completely different. He could of sworn that she had just been wearing a pregnant costume. He brought a hand up and rubbed his eyes, but when he looked again she was still standing there, hands behind her back, staring at him curiously, unblinking.

He narrowed his eyes at her, "Why are you hiding your hands?" He asked suspiciously, "No reason...well...okay...I had this allergic reaction to some hand cream...they're all icky and gross." She lied smoothly, knowing he wouldn't buy a word of it.

He nodded and casually activated his sharingan, growling as he saw through her genjutsu. "Liar." He stated calmly. She sighed and dropped the jutsu, knowing she had definately lost. "Stupid wig. Naruto's going to be so dissapointed. He wanted to play baby." She bent over and picked up the dirty wig, ripping off the pregnant costume as she stood up.

She threw both over her left arm and ran her hand through her hair to fix it up. She started to walk away, her short shorts clinging to her like a second skin, when Sasuke began twitching in annoyance.

Ichiruka's Ramen hut was filled to the brim with the rookie nine, minus Sasuke and plus team Gai. Most of whom were laughing so loud that the residents of nearby buildings thought there might have been a herd of elephants loose.

"I can't believe how long it took him to realize that you were the one attacking him. Your costume was amazing though." Ino giggled, patting Sakura on the back, "I know. I mean if it weren't for the wig falling off, I may have been able to go as far as an actual wedding ceremony before he realized anything was amiss."

Naruto sulked beside her, slurping his ramen slowly, "It's not fair, I didn't get to do my part!" He whined, earning a half hug from his shy little girlfriend, Hinata.

"Don't worry Naruto, we'll just have to think of another prank." Sakura said confidently, patting her orange clad team mate on the head, ruffling his hair in the process.

Across the street from Ichiruka's two dark eyes narrowed in displeasure. He had to find a way to get back at her for this. He paid little mind the the fact that the whole rookie nine and team Gai had been in on the prank. His main target was Sakura, she had after all been the one in the costume.

Konaha had been increadibly quiet for a whole month now. Too quiet.

Sakura had been suspicious at first, but after a few dozen run-ins with Sasuke that had lead to no torture, she was feeling pretty confident that he had no way to get back at her.

Naruto didn't really seem to be around too much, unless you counted seeing him tagging along behind Sasuke on occassion. The pink haired woman had shrugged the bizarre behaviour of the blonde off, knowing he was probably busy with Hinata.

Naruto watched his team mate walk down the street carefree, and snickered. He couldn't wait for Sasuke to spring his prank! It would never work, but it was pure genius.

Another two months passed by peacefully, and Sakura barely noticed that all of her friends seemed to be rushing around with suspicious things. Okay, so she had noticed, but decided to ignore it after being able to pry NOTHING out of Ino.

If you can't make Ino talk, you can't make ANYONE talk.

She folded her hands behind her head as she continued to stroll towards the park, intent on sitting by the small lake so she could practice a few new jutsu's she had created. She knew no one was ever out there, so no one would see her jutsu's before they were ready.

She sighed contently as the sun kissed her skin with its warmth. "I love summer." She closed her eyes, still walking foreward, blissfully unaware of her surroundings.

Sasuke smirked as he leaned against the tree he was hiding in, the fifth hokage beside him with a sour look. "Remind me, Uchiha, why am I helping you pull a stunt that could potentially demolish the village?"

He turned to the old, blonde woman and scoffed, "Because I bought the village out of sake and you won't get a drop if you don't help. Next delivery is two weeks from now."

The sanin scowled and crossed her arms, "Right. But you'll be paying for anything Sakura destroys in her fit of rage." He rolled his eyes, why did every one seem to be so insistant that Sakura would destroy everything in sight? 'I mean, she's not that strong.'

"Whatever old woman. Now lets get moving. I have to make sure the dobe is in place."

Naruto rushed around the clearing, looking around desperately for the one thing Sasuke had trusted to him. The ring. It tied the whole prank together, and he had lost it!

Sasuke and Tsunade entered the clearing as Naruto was bent over with his head inside of a log, chanting "Here ring, ring, ring..."

"What the fuck are you doing dobe! She's almost here!" The Uchiha shouted, throwing his hands in the air angrily, causing the 'dobe' to jump and smack his head on the inside of the log. "Damnit teme, don't sneak up on me!"

Naruto scowled as he rubbed his sore, dirty head. "I can't remember where I put the ring." He admitted finally, under the threatening glare of the Uchiha.

"Oh Naruto! Was this what you're looking for?" The voice rang through the clearing, making every one freeze. Slowly, the two boys and the sanin turned around to see Sakura holding up the ring that Naruto had dropped.

"Teme's ring!" He shouted gleefully, completely forgetting the prank, as he ran over to his pink haired team mate, "Oh thank god I thought he was gonna fry my ass!"

Sakura looked from the silver engagement ring in her hand to Naruto, then to Sasuke and her face suddenly went red. "Sas-er-Uchiha...gave you...an...engagement ring?" She asked cautiously, trying to make sure she had assessed the situation correctly.

Naruto nodded enthusiastically without a second thought, making Sakura sigh sadly, "I see. Well...hope the fangirls don't find out. And I am so not gonna be the one to tell Hinata that you're with Sasuke." She said flattly, handing the ring over to Naruto before leaving the clearing quickly.

It seemed like hours later when some one finally moved. "NARUTO NO BAKA!" Sasuke screamed as he lunged at the blonde idiot, chidori formed in his hand, sharingan in his eyes.

Naruto finally pieced together what had just happened as he barely dodged the blow from Sasuke. "Oh shit." He threw the ring at Sasuke, "I'm so out of this prank! Nothing is worth Sakura thinking I'm gay!" He shreiked, running as fast as he could manage, away from Sasuke.

Sakura smirked from her place in the tree. "Nice try Uchiha. No one pranks the master." She jumped down from the tree and headed for the village, whistling a merry little tune. She had fangirls to 'inform.'

Sasuke walked cautiously back into the village, feeling very uneasy about the lack of fangirls. He quickly made his way to the Uchiha compound, his uneasy feeling growing more as he neared the big empty house he lived in.

He opened the door and bolted inside, slamming it behind him quickly.

He heard the ruffle of a soft sounding material and froze. "Who's there?" He called out, waiting to be jumped by mobs of fangirls. Instead, Sakura walked out of his living room, grinning at him.

"Oh good, I was wondering when you'd get back here Sasuke-chan." She grabbed his hand and pulled him into the living room, where a large white dress was sitting on his couch.

"I figured since you and Naruto are probably going to get married, I should fit you for a gown! I mean you can't both wear tuxes, and Naruto just doesn't have the right feminine form for a dress."

Sasuke found himself standing on a stool as his team mate undressed him, and tried to pull a wedding gown over his head. "W-what are you doing?" He asked numbly as she pulled the dress, which was waaayyyy too big, down his body, her hands brushing over his-um-well-you-know.

"Shhh, I'm just gonna alter this dress for you. You're lucky I already told the fangirls you're gonna be a married woman...I mean man." She grabbed a few pins and started to tighten the dress around Sasuke's chest until she was positive he couldn't breathe.

"C-can't b-b-breathe..." He gasped out, making her smirk slyly, "Oh don't worry, it's supposed to feel like that. It makes you look way sexier if you're turning blue in the face."

She fought back a proud snicker as Sasuke finally realized just what she was doing.

The dark haired, mortified, man jumped away from the pink haired woman and ripped the dress from his body, obviously forgetting he had only boxers on. "WHAT THE HELL SAKURA!" He shouted, throwing the ruined dress to the ground before grabbing his head with both hands.

"You've been torturing me ruthlessly for months, almost a year! This is not how it was supposed to be when I came back! Where's the kissing!" He shouted hysterically, not really paying any attention to what he was saying-what he was about to confess.

"Where's the sex!" That one made the amused looking pink haired kunoichi scowl. 'Oh so that's what he came back for huh?'

"Where's the falling in love all over again!"

As soon as the words fell from (or rather, were ejected at increadibly deadly speeds, as far as words can be,) his mouth he froze. That last sentence was not supposed to slip out. "I didn't mean that." He said hastily, not bothering to look at his team mate.

Sakura stared blankly at the man before her, only slightly upset at his choice, and order of words. But those last ones did sting a bit.

"Of course you didn't, Uchiha. Now, since you've ruined your dress, I think I'm going to have to go get you a new one." She suppressed a giggle, or perhaps a sob, she wasn't sure, and made her way out of the Uchiha mansion.

Sasuke looked up as she left and groaned. He had no idea what had possessed him to say all of that.

Sakura strolled down the street, a huge scowl on her face as she bumped into her girls.

"Forehead!" And exuberant blonde squealed, earning a short but crisp "Pig." From the pink haired woman. "Have you heard that Sasuke and Naruto are getting married?"

Sakura flinched away from her best friend and rival, "Yes. I actually was the second to know about it. Tsunade-sensei knew first." Emerald green eyes darted over to look at the shy Hyuuga woman behind Ino, she could tell that poor Hinata was miserable.

"Well, we were out cheering up Hinata, so how about you join us! We're trying to find a way to turn those men back in the right direction." Ino pumped her fists into the air cheerfully, as the other three sighed.

Hinata, the sweet, sweet, poor young woman looked on the verge of tears as she sighed. "Oh god. I can't do this. I have to confess." Sakura groaned, knowing she was in for a world of hurt. "What do you mean forehead?" Ino asked tilting her head to the side. Ten ten and Hinata fixed their eyes on her quickly as well.

"Well, Ino-pig, the thing is...they're not really getting married. It was something to do with a prank on me to get back at me for that whole almost-restored-the-clan prank."

"I told you Naruto didn't have the hots for Sasuke!" Shouted the woman standing next to Hinata, holding up a peace sign and wearing a smirk. "Sure you did panda-chan." Sakura teased, feeling slightly better that she had told the truth to Hinata. Even though she looked VERY pissed.

"Okay dobe, new plan." Sasuke paced back and forth in Naruto's appartment, he had to fix this now. And the dobe was going to help him, or else. "I'm just gonna propose. Screw the plan."

Naruto nearly fell off his couch from shock. "Teme that's not a plan! You better think this through way more. Remember Ino's been holding out on the lazy ass because he didn't propose very romantically!"

"I highly doubt Sakura would do the same dobe." The Uchiha sighed as he realized his argument was very lame. "Ah shit. How should I do this then?"

The training grounds were filled with screaming, out of both terror and rage. Sakura dodged a deadly punch from Hinata, "Calm down! I said I'd fix it!"

The pinkette desperately dodged another painful looking blow, earning a frown from Hinata.

"And?" The Hyuuga heiress demanded, she had to have her revenge!

"A-and I'll do anything you say, and nothing you don't say until you marry Naruto!" Sakura squeaked as her once shy friend managed to kick her into a tree.

"Excellent. I have only one thing for you to do though." It was truly amazing, Hinata never stuttered anymore.

"Oooooh, I know what Hinata's going to make you do!" A shrill voice cheered, making Sakura shiver in fear.

The sun had just set, leaving the village to grow dark slowly as night rolled in. Standing in front of the mirror in her room, the woman sighed. Who knew the Hyuuga mind could come up with something so...so...-for lack of a better word-unyouthful?

She tugged on her baggy tuxedo. It had been her father's, and it was one of the few things she kept when her parent's had passed away. It was only what, ten sizes too big? Her father had been a big man.

She turned towards the door of her appartment and made her way outside. She now had to track down the only single men she knew. Rock Lee, Kakashi-sensei and of course, Sasuke-teme. And then propose youthfully to each one, refering to them as '-chan'

She sighed and headed for the training grounds, she'd go for Lee first. He'd probably faint and then she'd feel a bit better.

She was greatly surprised to find Lee walking towards her...in a green tu-tu. A big, fluffy, sparkly, green spandex tu-tu. Oh god that very unyouthful looking image would be burned into her mind forever.

Without missing a beat she dropped to her knees and cleared her throat, "Oh beautiful, youthful-looking (though mildly horrifying) young Lee-chan, won't you marry me please? And bear my children!" She could feel the laughter bubble up as Lee fainted. He hadn't taken that well, but at least he hadn't gone into a rant about unyouthfulness.

"One dork down, one pervert and one chicken-ass to go." She said with a sigh as she jumped up off her knees and started walking towards Kakashi's house.

Her teacher was sitting out on his front porch, reading his stupid little novel. She cringed, "Kaka-chan...I'm required by Hinata's new law to ask you to marry me in a very youthful way. I believe the most youthful way is to give you warning first."

The silver haired jounin didn't bother to look up from his book, "That's nice. Go play with Sasuke, you both need to get laid." He said in a bored tone; he had already been warned by Naruto, who heard from Ino that Hinata was forcing Sakura to do this for some reason he really didn't know.

Sakura walked away without another word. "Why does Kaka-sensei always say that?" She murmered to herself.

Sasuke watched closely as Sakura walked away from their sensei's house, allowing a small smirk to play on his face. Excellent. Everything was going according to plan!

He had particularly enjoyed to distrubing sight of Lee in a tu-tu, fainting. Oh how unyouthful.

He turned around and dissapeared into the trees, he only had a short while until Sakura showed up at the Uchiha mansion to propose to him. And of course he was going to do the right thing and accept; the poor girl had just been turned down twice...and would soon be carrying his child.

Soaked from heasd to toe, Sakura cursed the rain that had literally come out of freaking no-where. Now she had to do this and catch a cold when Sasuke kicked her out on her ass. Lovely.

Sasuke smirked as he perfected his I-just-woke-up-now-you'd-better-have-a-good-reason-for-being-here look by removing his shirt and pants, leaving him in boxers with a messy head of hair. "Resist me if you can Sakura-chan." He chuckled at his reflection, flexing his muscles a little.

She slammed her fist against the door for a good ten minutes before it swung open to reveal the Uchiha in his boxers.

Her reaction was instant, her words perfectly thought out. However, what her mind wanted to do and what her body did were two vastly different things.

Her body acted on impulse before Sasuke could even pretend to be upset at her for 'waking' him up. She launched herself at the tall, dark man and locked her lips on his.

He wrapped his arms around her a smirked breifly before deepening the kiss. 'No one can resist the Uchiha.' He thought smugly.

I know, I know. It's very OOC. And has a few lines that kind of rhyme...heh but those just happened on their own.

And yes, I have been trying to write up more chapters for my other fics, I really have! But so much drama. God I thought all the drama would die when I graduated...yeah, not so much. But I'll try and get chapters out soon. Especially now that I've finished my little three day project here.