WELCOME TO VOLDE-MART ... HOW MAY WE HELP YOU?

CHAPTER 3

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Lucius sighed in dismay as he attempted to straighten his nametag. He was absolutely sure that he had spoken his name clearly enough to the man that had gone around a few minutes ago collecting names, but he could only assume now that either he had too foreign of an accent, or that the printer-man was something of an idiot.

He heard a chuckle coming from behind the counter, followed by Rabastan's voice. "Nice to meet you, Lucas."

"Shut up," Lucius grumbled. "Did he at least get your name right?"

Lucius glanced down at Rabastan's nametag, leaned back his head , and then emitted a great laugh. "Jackson? Jackson? I'm going to go ahead and assume that the old man can't hear that well."

"When he comes back tomorrow, we'll get him to fix everything," Rabastan resolved with a sturdy nod in Lucius' direction.

"That's going to be tough, seeing as how he's going on medical leave today," a third voice entered the mix, catching both Lucius and Rabastan's attention. "And I'm not sure when he's going to come back."

Lucius looked at the young boy before him, and disliked him as immediately as he had formed a vendetta against the boy in the restaurant. His shoulder length, shaggy brown hair, baggy pants, piercings, and - after closer inspection - his tattoos caused one of Lucius' eyebrows to nearly rise by its own accord.

"I'm Jacob, by the way," the boy introduced himself. "I've worked here in the Electronics department for nearly two years now, and I suppose I'll have to train the two of you. Do you know how to tell the difference between LCD and HD televisions?"

Lucius and Rabastan exchanged a glance of confusion. LCD? HD? What was this kid going on about?

Jacob seemed unfazed by this. "All right, then ... that's pretty common. Listen up, though. I'll give you a small downlo' on what's going on. We are out of iPod Nanos until next week, and the Xbox 360s have been recalled due to an unfixable bug. The PS3s have just arrived, as have the iPod Touches. We only have 8GB and 16GB for now, so if anyone asks about the 32GBs, tell them that they'll have to wait until next week. Is that clear?"

Lucius and Rabastan stared at the boy, and then slowly nodded. Jacob smiled, and clapped his hands together. "All right, then. I'll work behind the counter today, if you two want to walk around here and get to know your products."

"Sounds good," Rabastan spoke, and then pushed Lucius down towards the opposite end of the Electronics department. "He lost me at 'iPod'."

Lucius scoffed. "He lost me at 'downlo''."

Rabastan looked around, and then glanced back at Lucius. "What are we going to do? We're going to look like fools if someone asks us a question. We don't know a thing about anything here-"

"Excuse me, but do you fine gentlemen work here?"

Lucius and Rabastan's blood ran cold as an old woman's voice permeated their conversation. They slowly turned around, already in the process of mourning their loss of integrity as highly trained and skilled Death Eaters.

"Yes, we work here," Lucius carefully answered as a sudden sweat began to run down the back of his neck.

The little woman grinned at them, revealing her rotting dentures. "I have a grandson, and I want to buy him a nice little present for his birthday next week. What would you suggest?"

Lucius and Rabastan stared blankly at her, until Rabastan bit the bullet. "How old is he?"

"He is turning fifteen."

"Hm," Rabastan mumbled as he looked around. "I don't know. I don't think that he would like anything in this department. Why don't you try elsewhere, and see what you can find?"

Her smile flickered, but she nodded. "All right, if you say so. I could have sworn that he had mentioned something about an iPod, or something like that."

"Oh, well, we have those here," Lucius decided that he would give it his best shot at finding what this woman was looking for. "I think they're actually out until next week, though."

"Well that's just too darn bad," the little woman attempted to snap her fingers, but failed. "I suppose I'll go and find something else that he might like, then."

The old woman hobbled away with her walker, and Lucius and Rabastan sighed in relief. That had not been as bad as they had thought it would be. They had actually managed to maintain a cool head and help a customer in the process.

"Well, I'm getting tired of this," Rabastan mumbled to Lucius as they avoided a woman trying to get their attention next to the battery stand. "Do you think we get breaks?"

"What time is it?" Lucius looked around for a clock, and saw one on a nearby stereo. "It's nearly eleven o'clock. Let's ask that kid what he thinks."

They made a beeline down the CD aisle towards where Jacob stood, but just as they reached the end, the woman that had been standing next to the batteries appeared before them, cutting them off. "Hey, listen, can you help me over here? I need some B batteries."

Lucius and Rabastan looked at each other, and then nodded. Looking for B batteries didn't sound like it would be too hard. "All right. Let's go take a look."

They got over to the battery stand, and Lucius immediately took to reading the packages. It didn't seem too difficult: the battery sizes were printed in large letters on each individual package. "Let's see ... double A, triple A, C, D, 9V ... No, it looks like we don't have any B batteries."

"Are you sure?" the woman pressed. "My son sent me to the store to pick some up for his toy monster truck. He said that you would be sure to have them here. You have everything here."

"I don't know what to tell you," Lucius shrugged. "I'm pretty sure that all the batteries we have here are on this display. Just a minute."

Lucius left the woman with Rabastan, and went over to the counter, where Jacob stood. "Do we have any B batteries?"

Jacob stopped what he was doing, and stared at Lucius. "B batteries?"

"Yeah," Lucius confirmed. "That woman over there is looking for some."

Jacob looked over at the woman, and then smiled ever so slightly. "Send her over here, would you?"

"All right," Lucius nodded, and then went back to where the woman and Rabastan awkwardly stood. "Jacob said to send you over there."

"Me?" Rabastan asked.

"No, you," Lucius looked at the woman, who nodded and left them to stand there. The two of them watched as Jacob told the woman something, laughing as he did so.

They watched as she quickly used the telephone, and then came back over to them. "The boy over there tells me that there are no such thing as B batteries."

Lucius and Rabastan glanced at one another in confusion. "But, how can that be? There are C and D batteries, and two variations of A. Why not B?"

The woman laughed, and then shook her head. "I called my son. He told me that he needed D batteries. I must have misheard him on my way out the door."

"Oh, well, here then," Lucius handed her a package of D batteries, and she went on her way. They watched as the woman and Jacob chuckled, Jacob glancing over her shoulder towards them and shaking his head. They had never felt so embarrassed in their life, but how were they supposed to know any better?

"I want to go home," Rabastan grumbled. "This sucks. I've never felt stupider in my entire life."

Lucius silently agreed, and waited until the woman had left the front desk before approaching it. "When do we get a break?"

Jacob looked up at the clock. "We only get a half hour break, but you can take it now, if you want. When you get back, I'll take mine. You two'll have to be in charge of the whole department. Do you think you could handle that?"

Lucius and Rabastan exchanged a sullied glance. Them, in charge? They could hardly handle the customers, as it was!

Jacob noticed their looks of discomfort, and sighed heavily. "Fine, listen. I'll run to the McDonalds and grab some food, and I'll spend my break here with you, just in case you need some help. Deal?"

Lucius and Rabastan did not believe that they could ever be so thankful for a Muggle. They both nodded, and then left for the adjoining restaurant that Lucius had woken up in that morning. As they moved closer to the store's unmistakable exit, they individually fought the temptation to run as hard as they could towards it, and not to stop until they could not see this blasted store in their wake. However, with a fleeting reminder of why they were here, and whom it was they served, they merely sighed and carried on past it.

As they moved between where the Muggles paid for their new purchases and the customer service station, Lucius recalled that his son and his friends were working at what the Dark Lord had called the 'tills'. Vaguely interested in how that was working out for Draco, Vincent, and Gregory, Lucius took to watching as he continued to follow a now eagerly hungry Rabastan. Vincent's money-box was beeping incessantly as he attempted to pinpoint the problem, and Draco was shouting advice at him over the rumblings of the dissatisfied customers while trying to rush people through his line. Gregory seemed to understand what he was doing, but, as Lucius had no problem believing, was going about it as slowly as was humanly possible.

"I'm glad I'm not working there," Rabastan commented as they reached the restaurant called McDonalds. "I'd much rather work with the eclectrics things."

Lucius nodded in agreement. "Yes. At least there we can try and avoid the customers. Those three have no choice, it seems."

"This is bullshit," Bellatrix grumbled in an undertone as Lucius and Rabastan drew closer to the table that she, Narcissa, and Walden occupied. "Absolute, grade A bullshitting rubbish. That woman is going to drive me insane-!"

"Bella, keep your voice down," Narcissa muttered through her teeth. "The customers are starting to look at us."

She sent a glare in her sister's direction, and then huffily crossed her arms as she glanced up at the clock. "I've got two minutes left. Where did my half an hour go?"

"You've been ranting and raving ever since you got here," Walden commented. "At least you're not working with a little freak, like I am-"

"A Muggle teenager?" Lucius inquired as he and Rabastan reached them. "We have to work with one, too. He keeps making us out to be fools."

"I saw him," Walden told them. "Yours is a pureblood, compared to mine. He's a morbid one. He keeps talking about death and dying. And-" he dropped his voice. "I saw his arms. He's got scars."

The rest of the Death Eaters exchanged a disgusted glance. Self-inflicted wounds? As they each considered how he could have possibly obtained such marks, all but Bellatrix yielded to the shiver that ran the length of their spines.

"His name's Clinton," Walden added. "And he wouldn't say a word after he told me his name-"

"Well, what's this? A gathering?"

"My Lord!" Lucius greeted him with a respectful bow, which earned him a couple of unwarranted chuckles from the Muggles at the table next to them. Lucius dealt them a death glare, but it did nothing to curb their amusement.

"Why aren't you all at your posts?" the Dark Lord inquired, readjusting the birthday hat that sat at a strange angle on his head. "Why are you in here?"

"We're on break-"

"Nonsense," he narrowed his eyes dangerously. "Back to your posts. Now, I say!"

After exchanging one last quick glance, the five Death Eaters bade each other good-bye and went their separate ways. The Dark Lord watched after them with an intent gaze, making sure that they did not try anything stupid. He did not entirely suspect them to, but it was always a possibility. However, his old laws stood firm: anyone who disobeyed his every whim and command would more than earn them the punishment that came their way.

And it was a good thing that his Death Eaters understood that, he thought. For, if they didn't, there would have been absolutely no way that he would have been able to talk them into this latest venture.