Disclaimer: Characters belong to Mr Wolf and I'm just playing.

For Sam, Laura and Hannah, who despite everything else always manage to make the world a better and brighter place.

Happy Birthday Christopher Meloni - 47 today!!

--Asphalt--

Later that night Olivia was stirred from her sleep by a noise she just couldn't place. It took her several minutes to awake fully and to realise she was in her own bedroom before she dared to investigate. Tiptoeing to her bedroom door, which was slightly ajar, she peered through to her sitting room. The table lamp was still on, a legacy of her newfound fear of the darkness in her own apartment. She rested her head on the door jamb trying to figure out the noise, then it came to her, it was Elliot. He was on the sofa, the place they both agreed he should stay. She wanted to try and sleep one night by herself, to prove to herself she could do it...so long as Elliot would only be as far away as the next room.

"Elliot?" she called making her way to him. She watched him shuffle around and wipe at his face. "Hey."

"Hi Liv," he mumbled. "Why are you awake?"

"Why are you crying?" she questioned in return.

"I'm not crying." He took her hand and she sat down beside him.

"Then, I'm sorry to say, your face seems to be leaking." Olivia gently caressed his face, wiping away the trails left by his tears.

"Go back to bed," Elliot said softly.

"No," replied Olivia, "not until you talk to me."

Elliot dropped his head, shaking it. He didn't want to have this conversation, not now, not yet. Olivia knew she should show him the same patience and consideration he had shown her during all this. She knew she should give him the time he needed and let him come to her of his own accord. She knew she should just hug him and then let him be. However, despite everything she knew she couldn't do it, she couldn't walk away from him.

Gently she raised his face to hers, and despite his attempts to look away, she gazed into his watery blue eyes. Clearly on show was his guilt and shame.

"I love you, Elliot," she whispered, dropping a light kiss on the tip of his nose.

"Love you too, Liv," he replied, lacing his fingers with her.

"And you have nothing to feel guilty about," she whispered, causing his tears to appear again. She kissed them away. "This is not your fault."

Elliot shook his head, this was all his fault. He had been the one to introduce them; he had been the one who extolled all of Michael Robertson's qualities. He was the one who had called that night, sending his 'friend' over the edge. He was the one she couldn't tell. All him. All his fault.

"I don't blame you, El," Olivia continued. "Honestly, I don't." She kissed his cheek. "I also don't want you blaming yourself."

"But I do, Liv," he said, squeezing her hand. "If I had never…"

"Hindsight is a wonderful thing but it still doesn't make it your fault. You are not responsible for his actions," she whispered.

"I'm just so sorry I ever met him, Livvy. So sorry I ever introduced you two." He pulled her to him and held on tightly.

"So am I," Olivia whispered pulling back a little.

Tenderly she ran her fingers through his hair. "Can you do me a favour, El?" she asked, her eyes searching his.

"Anything, baby," he replied.

"I know we talked about this earlier but I don't want you sleeping out here. Can you come and let me sleep with you …please?" she asked nodding towards her bedroom. Elliot nodded, he wanted nothing more.

Before long they were both settled in bed, all lights were off and Olivia was wrapped in Elliot's arms. She closed her eyes and inhaled deeply.

"Love you, El," she muttered.

"Love you, Liv," he replied.

When Olivia's breathing evened out and she was sound asleep, Elliot allowed himself to drift off. He knew they had a long road to travel to both be okay about everything which had happened but this was a good place to begin.

To his surprise he awoke not an hour later and found himself in bed alone. He scanned the room and found Olivia standing by the bedroom window, her arms wrapped tightly around her trying to keep the cold night air at bay.

Instantly Elliot was out of bed, wrapping the huge white quilt around himself. "Hey Livvy," he said coming up behind her and wrapping himself and the quilt around her.

"Hey," she muttered, still staring out the window.

"Whatcha doing?" he asked, kissing her head.

She smiled wistfully. "I love those streets," she said, nodding towards the illuminated streets below. "They're such a part of me. I know them so well." Elliot nodded. "I need to get away from them though. I don't want to stand here being afraid of them and what lurks down there, or up here for that matter."

"Aha," Elliot answered.

"Think I may take that doctor's advice and get away for a while by myself, take some time out for me to just regroup and get better. Would that be alright with you?" she asked, turning around to face him.

No was his first thought, but he knew this had to be about her and her alone. "You just do whatever you feel you have to, whatever you want to do, okay?" He kissed her nose. "What were you thinking?"

"Well…" She moved closer and wrapped her arms around his waist. "There's a retreat upstate which runs those inner peace and harmony type things – you know relaxation and counselling etc. Thought I'd book in there for a couple of weeks," she said, sighing deeply as his hands rubbed her back.

"You know I'll miss you," he whispered, kissing her forehead.

"And I'll miss you," she replied.

He could sense there was more. "Then what do you want to do, Livvy?"

"Then I was thinking of going somewhere warm…just like the doctor said," she replied.

"Somewhere warm like…?" His voice trailed.

"I've always wanted to go to Australia and it's warm there right now," she replied.

"Australia? Really?" His stomach sank, he could barely cope being in the next room, he didn't want to think about her being thousands of miles away from him.

"Yeah, Australia is pretty cool. Thought I'd could do the east coast … see the sights… rest, you know, just hang out…" she explained.

"Sounds like a good plan," he replied. "Um…how long do you think you'll be there?"

She held on tighter. "It's a long way away and it's a big country…" she paused, squeezing him tighter. "I'm thinking a couple of months."

"A couple of months," he repeated, his mouth painfully dry.

"Yeah." She looked up at him, allowing herself to get lost in his eyes. "I have so much leave just sitting there and I'm sure Don will let me take it."

"I'm sure he will, since I think you're his favourite detective," Elliot said, trying to smile but it wouldn't come.

"You think he'd let you take your leave too?" she asked quietly.

"For what?" he asked, trying not to assume anything.

"Well, I need to do the retreat thing by myself but I was hoping you'd want to go to Australia with me," she all but whispered.

"You want me to go with you? To Australia? For two months?" he questioned.

"Only if you want too…I mean you don't…" she began flustered. He pressed his finger to her lips.

"I thought you'd never ask, Liv." He kissed her gently. "I'd go anywhere with you, anytime."

"Really?" she asked.

"Really!" he confirmed.

"Then, will you go to bed with me now?" she asked. Elliot grinned and scooped her up before carrying back to the bed. He eased her down and shuffled in beside her, making sure she was fully covered and comfortable. Olivia wrapped herself in him and listened to his heartbeat and breathing, not surprised to find hers were in unison.

The road ahead would be long; it would take them to many and varied places. There would be straight, easy stretches and bumpy, treacherous ones but their distinct advantage from here on in is that they would be in this together. For them the asphalt of their life's road would be solid, complete and big enough for both of them to travel along side by side.

The End

eoeo Asphalt eoeo

Author's Note:

The road ahead for everybody is different and for now this is where we part ways. I am hoping it is only temporary but I won't make any promises.

That said. I'm going to take this opportunity to say a few things, so please either indulge me or feel free to stop reading now.

I started posting stories last August and now have over 60 in my portfolio, all but one of the SVU ones have been written in this time, most of the JAG ones were written previously and polished for posting here. I'm sure you'll agree it's taken a lot of time and effort to do that. In that time I have also reviewed countless chapters and one-shots and have discovered there are some amazing people on this site, some whom I am extremely fortunate to now call friends.

If you've read a few of my stories you'll have seen the names pop up time and time again ... Sam, Laura, Hannah, Jazz, Allie ... It's hard to believe we've known each other less than six months ... sometimes it feels like I have always known you ... you have become such a part of my life and something I treasure. I know I've had countless conversations with you, individually, which have reflected the trials which we all face in life. The saying goes "Life wasn't meant to be easy" and sometimes chatting away with you I know that it wasn't supposed to be as hard as it is either for us. You are incredible, wonderful people and though I'm not here for a while, you know where I am and I hope our conversations continue.

To all those who have reviewed / PM'd / emailed me, I know I have thanked you at the time for your support of my writing and although I won't name individuals here now, you know who you are. I truly appreciate the commitment many of you have shown to read and review every chapter I've written, whether it be JAG or SVU.

My break from this site is for several reasons and I'm not about to go into the specifics, just that it is a break from this site and the stuff that goes with it. I will still review the stories I have started reading, I will still respond to reviews and PMs. I am still writing and some of you will be pleased to know I am currently working on a sequel to Picking Up the Pieces ... and a few other new ones.

While I don't want to upset people and burn bridges, I don't want to be untrue to myself and not say the following: You will all agree with me there are some amazing authors on this site, their works have made me a better writer merely by the examples they set. There are also some wonderful people who provide thoughtful reviews and are appreciative of the author's efforts.

By in large though, there is a significant group of people who read and alert but never review, or who review with basic demands for more work, never once acknowledging the work which has just been posted. I personally find reviews which just say "UPDATE NOW!" extremely rude. It takes so much longer to write a chapter than to read it and bombarding authors with demands for updates generally shows a lack of understanding of the process.

Outside this board and the fictional world we write about it's the real world. The authors here are real people with real lives. It may surprise you to know that many of the authors you read and take for granted are dealing with major difficulties in real life; many health related, some not. The least readers can do is acknowledge the effort and appreciate that if a story is slow in being updated then there is a reason. If a story isn't updated or is left incomplete it might be disappointing but it is not end of the world stuff.

And for those who review anonymously to slam the story, the author, or to criticise in a manner which is destructive, I ask you to reconsider. If you don't like the story, the author's style, etc. PLEASE don't read. Reviews don't have to be all hearts and flowers but they should be constructive ... I'll agree there are stories out there that are really below standard, I don't like so I don't read, but you should be prepared to sign your name to anything you write. Doing it anonymously is a cowardly way of attacking someone who has no recourse ... if you have something to say own it ... by not signing it, you are acknowledging you know what you are submitting is inappropriate.

One of my reasons for my break is because I'm not enjoying writing here like I should. This is a hobby for me and the only person I am obligated to is me. I'm sure I'll get a whole lot of responses to this AN which won't even mention the story itself ... and I don't want that. If you have read through all thirteen chapters, before all of this, I would sincerely like to know what you thought.

So, that's it from me, nothing else to say,

stay safe

love Nettie