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Summary: What if Toby remembered what he was going to ask Pam? A story about two lonely people. Taken place during 'The Convention' and through Season 3. Pam/Toby
A/N: This story has been in my mind for a while. I know that many of my readers know that I'm a HUGE fan of Dwangela and that I tend to branch out to underrated characters. Well… I'm venturing to a ship that not many people are with… Pam/Toby. I beg you to not hate me. Just have an open mind. That's all I ever wanted. LOL.
September 27, 2006
10:34am
Michael and Dwight had left the office for the weekend. An entire day without Michael wreaking havoc or tainting the walls of the aimless paper company. Peace seemed to settle upon the lowly employees, knowing that their incompetent boss and his faithful lackey were far away to not cause trouble. As the phones rang and keyboards were tapped lightly, Toby was admiring her from afar.
Toby was in the kitchen, making a fresh pot of coffee and hearing Kelly talk about her date with Ryan and her neighbor down the hall. She kept asking Toby what colors would look great on her and would blend well with Ryan's complexion. As the steady rhythm of Kelly's voice slowly dulled to the back of his mind, Toby was dazzled at how Pam's hair shined in the dull fluorescent lights.
He studied how her auburn tendrils cascaded over her lone shoulders and how it curled around her small earlobes, magnifying the delicate nature of her presence. He noticed how her eyes lingered by the computer, longing for the solitary game of FreeCell to help her escape her boredom. He noted how they would sparkle a moment when the door opened, wishing to see someone familiar walk through, praying for that face to return. He observed how her lips formed casual greetings over the phone to give the listener a comforting tone. How her lips turned down when Michael commented on something 'funny' he heard on television. But what he noticed the most was how her lips turned up as he approached her, giving his heart to her without even trying.
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Pam was in the middle of a rather dull game of FreeCell. She distinctly remembered playing the same game a few weeks ago, but she couldn't be sure. As she made a quick scan of the office, trying not to concentrate on the left side of the office where he used to sit, she noticed Toby in the kitchen with Kelly. She remembered the date that she was supposed to go on that evening, still feeling anxious about the situation. She tended to forget how persuasive Kelly could be, and now she was stuck on some ridiculous date with some random guy with cartoon comics that lacked depth or for that matter… comedy. She smiled tentatively at Toby, noticing how his mouth formed comforting words to his coworkers, never failing to show some interest in their problems or how his lips always seemed to turn up in her presence. She chuckled to see him so afraid whenever he left the annex, knowing that Michael could pounce any moment, but how his eyes seemed to find hers and seemed at peace. She knew that her and Toby weren't exactly friends but she hoped in time they could be.
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His throat closed for a brief moment before he spoke, "Hey Pam." He playfully drummed on her desk, trying to relieve some stress from uttering those words.
Pam was relieved to leave the disappointing game she was playing, "Hey Toby. How's it going?" She smiled sweetly, glancing up at her melancholy coworker.
Toby smiled down at her, feeling his neck pulsate under his necktie, "I… um…" He chuckled at his nervousness. "I forgot what I was gonna ask you…"
Pam blushed, "Well… if you remember, I'll be here." She smiled again and turned back to her computer to respond to an email.
Toby nodded, "Okay… I will." He started to turn around, knowing he missed his chance. As he stepped toward the kitchen, something inside him told him to try again. He wasn't sure if he was having an aneurysm or showing early signs of schizophrenia, but he turned around and marched back to the receptionist, "Actually, I do remember."
Pam looked up from her computer, "Oh… what's up?" She smiled again, taken by surprise by the determined glare in Toby's eyes.
Toby seemed at peace with the sight of her lips up turned, as if light itself started at the curve of her smile. "I was… um… wondering if you wanted to go for some coffee with me at lunch." He sighed quietly, feeling slightly at ease. "I just –
"Is everything alright? It isn't Sasha, is it?" Pam seemed genuinely concerned.
Toby was touched by her sincere display of concern for Sasha and himself. He chuckled, "No, nothing like that. I just wanted to leave the office for a while and uh… I don't know…. talk to someone." He smiled sheepishly, absentmindedly scratching the back of his neck, trying to release some tension that had built up from the stress of asking the beautiful receptionist out for coffee.
Pam seemed taken aback by the proposal. She enjoyed the rare moments when Toby and her spoke and she knew that they shared a mutual interest in the arts and he even at times could be funny. She liked the fact that someone else in the office knew about Chaucer and Tennessee Williams and Monet and Mary Cassett. It was nice to talk to someone who wasn't checking her out or making obscene comments about her. It was nice just to be around someone… normal.
She smiled sweetly again, "Yeah, sure. That's sounds great." She chuckled, "I'm feeling a bit sluggish today anyway." She checked the clock, "How about noon?"
Toby turned around, but already knew the answer "Sounds good." He drummed again on her desk, "Meet me at the elevator?"
Pam nodded, "Yeah, okay. See ya then." She turned back to her computer as he walked back to his desk. He waited until he was safely at his desk to smile toothily. Back at reception, Pam couldn't help but smile as well.
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11:54 am
As Pam collected her belongings, she felt a bit anxious about her coffee break with Toby. He never really showed any interest in her before now, nothing outside of office relations. They might share some niceties at the vending machines or chip about the weather in the kitchen or how they needed to buy a new coffee maker for the break room, but being asked out for a coffee run was... different. Although the idea of having coffee with Toby was unimaginable, knowing that today would be different from her humdrum existence was oddly refreshing.
Toby was anxious about his coffee break with Pam as he was leaving the annex. He was both surprised and joyful about his boldness to ask her out, even though it was just a java run. He hoped he didn't seem so excited but having the opportunity to spend time with Pam was something that he couldn't help but anticipate.
They greeted each other, both feeling awkward but relieved that they could escape the dull drone of their fluorescent-lighted playground.
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They made the quick walk to the local 'Java Hut', chatting about the unseasonable warmth of the September afternoon. They commented about the convention that Michael had gone to and hoped that Dwight didn't mess things up. They arrived at the coffee shop and took a small table in the corner.
Pam look up at the menu in he front, "So, what do you want?"
Toby bit his tongue before he uttered, "You." He took hold of his composure and ushered Pam to sit, "I'll take care of it. What do you want?"
Pam shook her head slightly, "Um… are you sure?"
Toby nodded, "Sure I'm sure." He glanced back at the menu, "So, what can I get ya?"
Pam blushed as she sat down, "Um… a chai tea. Uh… grande. Thanks." She smiled as he turned around dutifully and stood in line. As he was waiting in line, Pam watched the cars go by outside. She couldn't help but wonder where they were headed and wondered what their travels would bring them, like her own.
As Toby came back to the corner carrying their beverages, he smiled, as she looked outside, thinking and scheming, imagining and dreaming, knowing that whatever she was doing was beautiful. He sat down, startling her and passed over her tea.
"Sorry it took so long." He chuckled, "Some guy in front of me had like twenty orders. And every order had like twenty different ingredients in them." He took the lid off his Irish Crème and took a sip. "But it's definitely fresh."
Pam chuckled, "Good to know." She took two packages of sugar and shook them before pouring them into her cup. She watched as he too glanced outside the window, watching the cars go by. "It's hypnotic, isn't it?"
Toby was pulled from his daydreaming of picnicking with Pam in the south of France, "What?"
Pam budded her head toward the street, "Watching the cars. I used to watch them pass like that when I was a kid. I could spend the entire meal looking out the window, wondering where they were going, how they were feeling. If they were excited, scared, anxious, sad, happy, relieved." She chuckled a little more, "I used to make up stories in my head, just imagining what they were doing or going and sometimes I'd sketch their destinations."
Toby smiled, feeling honored to receive this tiny tidbit into the mind of Pam. He enjoyed her close proximity and her vacant expression as she drifted back to the window. He smiled, "So… what type of stories did you make up?"
Pam looked from the window, "Um… I don't know." She giggled, which took her by surprise as well as Toby. "I… uh… I'd dream up these crazy stories. I would think that someone was late for a job interview, and was anxious about the impression they would make on their new boss."
Toby shook his head, "That's not crazy."
Pam chuckled, "I'm not finished." She took a sip of tea, smiling up a him. "I would think that he would get so nervous that he decided to blow the whole thing off and head for the border."
Toby laughed out loud, "The Border? Which one?" He too took another sip from his cup, smiling at his company.
Pam shrugged, "I don't know." She chuckled, "Does it matter?"
Toby nodded, "Of course it matters. If they're going to Canada, they have to have a coat and they might have to speak French and if they're going to Mexico, they have to speak Spanish and they have to have a bathing suit."
Pam nodded, "I guess your right. Okay… let's say that they are going to Canada."
Toby made a face, "Yuck, the weather's horrible this time of year."
Pam shook her head, "Nope. Global Warming."
Toby shook his head, "It's still cruddy up there."
Pam shrugged, "Well… I say it's beautiful. This is my story anyway."
Toby nodded, "Fair enough." He looked out the window again, "Which car?"
Pam smiled and looked out the window. She scanned the street, looking at the different cars at the intersection. "Hmm… so many to chose from…" As she saw a Honda Civic and Nissan Altima, she noticed a red Toyota Corolla. Her heart jumped for a moment until she saw a elderly woman behind the wheel. "Um… how about that one." She settled for the green Honda Civic.
Toby shook his head, "No way. He would never go to Canada." He finished off his coffee and placed it aside.
Pam scrunched her face, "Why not?"
Toby shrugged, "Doesn't look like the type." He scanned the street when his eyes landed on the perfect candidate, "How about that one?"
Pam followed his gaze, landing on a crimson Ford Focus driven by young woman with brown hair in a ponytail. She seemed determined as she looked straight ahead. Pam smiled as she looked at the woman, a small part of her wishing that she could be riding along side her, "Yeah, definitely going to Canada." She smiled and looked across the table, instantly taking back her secret wish. "Nice one."
Toby shrugged again, "What can I say? I have a gift." He chuckled, being joined by Pam. He felt goose bumps ride up his arms as Pam's laughter sang along with his, giving it a pure ring.
After the Focus drove off from their vision, Toby cleared his throat, "So... um... how's your art classes going?"
Pam looked over the rim of her cup incredulously, "How'd you know about my classes?"
Toby shrugged, "Kelly mentioned it to me about twenty times."
Pam looked legitimately surprised, "Really?"
Toby nodded, "Yeah. She was telling me about all the things that you've been doing."
Pam smirked, "Really? Huh... I really didn't think that you and Kelly talked that much."
Toby shrugged with a chuckle, "Well... she does most of the talking."
Pam chuckled, "Yeah... I'm sure." She finished off the reminder of her tea. "So... they're going good."
Toby looked confused, "What?"
Pam chuckled softly, "My classes." Toby playfully hit his forehead, causing Pam to giggle. "Yeah... I'm actually learning a lot. Differnet techniques. Different textures. It's really fascinating. And there's quite a few interest people there too." She chuckled, "It's nice to get to know other people outside of work."
Toby nodded, "Definitely." He watched as Pam continued to drift back outside, admiring her eyes as they scanned the passing cars, thinking that he was finally getting to know someone he did work with. "So... anybody like our coworkers?"
Pam gave Toby a thoughtful look, "Hmmm... well, there's this one guy who reminds me a lot like Oscar. He does these really pretty color schemes... I don't know..." She shrugged, "I don't think the world could handle more people like Michael or Dwight or Angela."
Toby nodded, "Good point."
Pam glanced back at their discarded cups, "So... how's Sasha?"
Toby blinked a few times to get out of his trance, "Oh... she's well. You know... not much to know about second grade."
Pam nodded, "Yeah... I remember climbing trees and trying to swing higher that Becky McNeil." She stared off dreamily, "Oh... the simple pleasures of life." They both chuckled.
Toby nodded, "Yeah, the only thing that Sasha has to worry about is if the weather's nice enough for outdoor recess."
Pam chuckled, "Yeah... I wish that was my only worry." She looked over at the clock as the large hand was coming closer to the nine. "It's getting kinda late. We'd better head back soon."
Toby checked his watch and noticed that time seemed to be slipping away from him, when he was finally enjoying a day of work. "Yeah... I guess so."
Pam shook her head, "I almost forgot..." She went digging in her purse, bringing out her wallet, "How much do I owe you?"
Toby put his hand up in protest, "No… it's on me."
Pam gave him a furrowed brow, "But..."
Toby shook his head, "I asked you out. The least I can do is buy you something." He smiled, trying to reassure her that it was okay.
Pam put her wallet back in her purse, "Well...um... thanks." She put the strap over her shoulder, "You know you don't have to do that."
Toby felt that she was feeling uneasy, "No, really. It's not a big deal. Its just tea."
Pam nodded slowly, feeling a bit awkward, "Okay. Well... thanks again." She sighed, "Sorry."
Toby chuckled, "For what?"
Pam chuckled, "I don't know. I just... I'm just going through a bit of an independent streak right now."
Toby looked confused, "What do you mean?"
Pam shrugged, "Well... I've been trying to do more things on my own. You know, like with the art classes and the new car." Toby nodded along. "I just want to be able to make my own decisions. Do what I want to do and not have to depend on someone else, you know?"
Toby nodded, "Well... next time I let you buy my drink." He smiled over at Pam until he saw her eyebrow raised.
"Next time?" She gave him a funny look, one that he couldn't decipher. He was about to take back the comment when she chuckled. She smiled, "I actually had a nice time. I don't know what I excepted but it was a nice change of pace." She smiled sincerely at Toby that gave him a breathe of ease.
"Well... I'm glad." He stood up and pushed in his chair. "Guess we'd better get going."
Pam nodded, "Guess so." As they both collected their things, Toby made a quick once-over of Pam. He knew that he only spent forty minutes with her, but he felt that he could tell her anything and know she would never judge him.
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12:52 pm
As they left the coffee shop, Pam saw the red Toyota Corolla again. As it passed them, Pam didn't feel the lump in her throat like she did the first time. It was an odd feeling but as she walked with Toby back to the office, she didn't feel so alone anymore.
As they approached the parking lot, the sun was slowly crawling behind the building, giving the lot a tender glow. The wind picked up a bit, sending a chill down Toby spine. As he was walking close to Pam, he noticed how the light was caught in her curls, giving them an heavenly glow. He longed to touch one curl, knowing that if he did, it would be ecstasy.
They made their way to the elevator when Pam turned toward Toby. She felt a little nervous, not knowing why before asking, "Why did you ask me out for coffee?"
Toby looked at her, feeling the familiar loss of breathe whenever he was near her. He lingered on the past hour he spent with Pam and realized that he hadn't spoken with anyone as freely as he did with her, ever. He never saw himself as a charming type of fellow. He wasn't the type of guy that ladies swooned over or talked about on the way home to their girlfriends. He wasn't the man that would fit into the status quo of 'A Knight in Shining Armor'. He was just Toby. But as he looked into those perfect green eyes, for the first time in his life, he thought he could be more. "I just wanted to spend some time with you."
They were both surprised by his revelation, Toby more than Pam. He was never open to anyone like that before, but revealing himself gave the extra push that he needed. "I like spending time with you."
Pam blinked a few times. She wasn't really sure what was going on. She thought of Toby as just someone else in the office. He was nice enough but at the end of the day, she only saw herself with one person, and that person was gone. She missed her chance with him a long time ago, before the secret kiss in the dark, before the longing plea, before she broke his heart twice. She lost him. She felt the lump come slowly up her throat, willing her for tears to fall, but she caught her breath. Toby wasn't Jim. He was never going to be Jim. Toby was Toby. And for some unexpected reason, that was alright. "I liked spending time with you today, too." She gave him a smile, one that she knew she meant.
Toby looked at her smile, and knew that it wasn't a smile that she held for her ex-fiancé, Roy. It was one that she plastered for Michael when he was acting practically annoying. It wasn't the same smile that she gave to Jim whenever he was near. It was a different smile, one that he declared as his smile. As they both left the elevator, Toby turned around, "Um... maybe we can do this again some time."
Pam nodded slowly, "Yeah... maybe." As she walked in toward the door, a small smile crawled on her face.
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4:47 pm
As the remaining employees left for the weekend, they said their final goodbyes to Pam, wishing her well and a nice weekend. Fatigue was starting to hit her as she was making the final faxes and finalizing spreadsheets for Monday morning. She was feeling a little under the weather and the sight of Kelly coming was only a sign for her to try to back out of the date. Kelly came practically running up to reception, "So are you excited or what? Alan is going to be so shocked when he sees you!"
Pam looked confused, "Why would he be shocked?"
Kelly shifted her eyes for a moment too long. "Um... never mind. Look, so you're still gonna wear that?"
Pam looked at herself and didn't think she looked that bad, "I look fine."
Kelly shrugged her shoulders, "Okay, whatever." As she was leaning over the counter, Pam saw Ryan trying to make a mad dash to the elevator. Kelly was starting to wane on her nerves so she saw a chance to rid of her until that night. "See ya tonight, Ryan!" She waved smiling, allowing Ryan to get a few seconds head start. Kelly ran after, "Wait, Ryan. I have to talk to you about the pattern of my shirt and if it'll clash with your necktie!" As Kelly ran after her reluctant boyfriend, Pam couldn't help but giggle. She looked to the left of the office as a reflex and waited to see a reaction from the slacker salesman, but she found a smile for the quiet-natured HR rep.
He smiled back at her, "See what I have to put up with." He chuckled as he walked up to her desk.
Pam rolled her eyes, "I'm so sorry." She chuckled as Toby drummed on her desk. She felt a pricking on the back of her neck as she looked up at Toby, feeling somewhat relieved that he was here to talk to. She spied his jacket over his arm, "Headed out?"
Toby nodded, "Yep. I'm supposed to go meet a friend."
Pam nodded and stapled a small pile of contracts, "Oh, that's nice." She felt strangely awkward and wondered where he was going when Toby seemed to read her mind.
"We're supposed to go see this exhibit at this new art gallery near Dunmore. He said that it was all avant-garde or whatnot." He shrugged, "I don't know."
Pam brighten up, "Yeah, I read about that in the paper. Some of my classmates are going tonight. They actually invited me to go."
Toby looked confused, "How come you're not going?"
Pam shrugged and sighed, "I'm supposed to go on this date with Kelly and Ryan and her neighbor Alan tonight."
Toby felt the shortness of breath again, "Oh... well, have a nice time." He started to walk to the door, when Pam called after him.
"Hey... um... Toby?" She stood up, feeling anxious and nervous, not knowing why, and feeling like she did when she asked Toby why they went out earlier that day. "Um... maybe we can talk about the exhibit on Monday... at the coffee place?"
Toby nodded slowly, taking in what he thought he heard Pam say, "Monday, as in for lunch... again?"
Pam chuckled, "Yeah, like today." She tucked a fallen curl behind her ear.
Toby nodded, "Yeah, sounds great. I'd really like that." He smiled again and turned toward the door. "See you on Monday, Pam." He gave her a final wave and walked out.
Pam chuckled, "Bye." As she watched him walk out the door, she felt a strange sensation of starting over. She liked that she was starting a friendship with Toby and she liked that she felt excited to hear about the exhibit. But what she liked the most was when she looked at his desk, a lone pile of wood that held immeasurable memories. She didn't feel the lump in her throat or did she feel like crying. She could look at it and smile. She knew that she might have ruined the best friendship she ever had, but she also knew that she had a second chance to start over.
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More to come... I hope you guys liked this. I need reviews so I know if I should continue this story. I really want to, but I need yoru encouragement. So, if you read this, I'm sure you can see that little box in the bottom left corner. Tell me what you think.
Also, look out for an update on my other fics, "The Gift" and "The Trial". New chapters will be coming soon!!!
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