Hate Myself For Loving You - Chapter 5: Neither Were Slurring

Author's Note: I am terrible. You all have reason to hate me. However, I hope you don't... Summer got me excited and I dyed my hair black, and I've been having some personal issues. Hope you all enjoyed the Marauder Prequel!! Even if Remus wasn't in it...

Disclaimer: sigh STILL not mine...

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James, being the good friend he was, was beginning to worry about Remus. Alright, that wasn't it at all. Somehow, and he still has no idea how, he managed to anger Miss Lily Evans. He soon discovered she wasn't one to joke around with when she was mad, and abandoned all attempts to cheer her up. He had been searching for Remus for a good five minutes through the crowd, and had had no luck. Just when he was about to leave the party without his friend, he remembered seeing them head up the stairs. Just when he was about to begin to climb them, he heard a young man speak.

"Where are you going?" The sentence sounded a lot shorter than it actually was. James knew before he turned around he wasn't going to like this guy. He turned, and, sure enough, just by looking into the young man's cold, black eyes, he knew they would never be proper acquaintances, let alone friends.

"I hardly think that's any of your business," James responded in the same short tone. When he saw the young man sneer, James knew he had no authority over him and continued to climb the stairs. The man must've followed him, because when he reached the top, he felt an arm stop him and spin him around.

For the first time, he actually looked at the man. His suit looked old and worn, but it was still as black as the man's hair, which was greased down. It was combed straight back out of his eyes. His skin was pale, but not in an attractive way. His nose was as crooked as his yellowing teeth. He was a bit taller than James and may have intimidated someone such as Peter, and I believe we'll all agree James is certainly not a lot like Peter.

James jerked his arm from the man's hand and scoffed.

"You have no business roaming this house," the man said, using the same tone.

"Like it's any of your concern."

"Actually, it is, seeing as I reside here."

This baffled James. This man looked nothing like Sirius or Regulus. Surely he was an extremely distant relative or something?

"You live here?" James asked, furrowing his brow.

"Are you calling me a liar?"

"What's your name?"

"I am Severus Snape. And yourself?"

"James Potter."

"Well, Potter, I suggest you either head back downstairs, leave the residence, or be forcefully thrown from the door."

"Who would have the pleasure of throwing me out the door?"

"I would."

James looked him over and laughed.

"I doubt you could even pick up a flower, let alone a full grown man."

"You never told me what your business was up here."

"And I don't intend to."

With that, James continued down the hall, listening intently, both for a sign of which of the many rooms Remus was in and Snape. When he heard Snape climb back down the stairs, he started opening doors at random. The first door was a bedroom, most likely a guest room. The second was a powder room. The third was a linen closet.

All three of the young men jumped.

"So," Sirius said, "enjoying the party, James?"

It took James a moment to respond.

"Erm, Rem, we need to go..."

Remus, blushing furiously, followed James down the hall and stairs, looking at his shoes.

"Why are you leaving?" Sirius called after them.

James stopped and turned around.

"It has nothing to do with either of you, if that's what is worrying you, as I am going to assume you're drunk. Miss Evans and I have had a falling out, and I hope we will see you again soon, Sirius."

"Oh. Alright. See you soon, then. Good bye, Remus."

"Bye."

James forced himself to ignore the fact that neither were slurring.

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The walk back to their house was a quiet one, aside from forced small talk.

When they arrived at their home, they both removed their suits and put on regular clothes. They sat at the kitchen table and drank coffee, mostly because James insisted Remus needed to "sober up".

James told Remus about how he had been talking to Lily and Petunia Evans, and how he had upset them both, but he didn't really care he had upset Petunia. It seemed to bother him that he had upset Lily and still wasn't sure how he had managed it.

He even talked about some bloke called Snape. After listening to James' obviously embellished description of him, he told Remus had had claimed to live there. Remus nearly choked on his coffee.

"He lives there?" Remus could feel jealousy bubbling to the surface.

"Well, that's what he said, but I don't really believe him. He sure didn't look the part, if you understand my meaning."

"Oh. Good, good…" The jealousy was mostly gone now, but curiosity was taking its place. "I wonder what he was doing there. Perhaps his entrance was similar to ours?" he suggested, a small smile on his face.

James rolled his eyes. "You know you enjoyed yourself. You must have just loved the feeling! Knowing we could get thrown out at any time."

These words made Remus' heart sink. Sirius still thought he and James were cousins. I wonder what he would think if he knew… As his thoughts trailed off, he looked around the kitchen, as if seeing it for the first time. Remus and James weren't what most considered poor. It wasn't like they had to beg or anything of the like, but they certainly weren't well off.

"James, do you ever wonder what it must be like to be like Sirius?" James raised an eyebrow in confusion.

"I mean rich." Here, Remus was expecting James to give some generic answer, like "We have each other's company! What would we need with more money?", but he didn't.

"Of course," he replied, as if it should have been obvious to everyone, especially his best mate.

"Really? What would you do with that much money?"

"Hmm." James ruffled his hair and smiled. "Truthfully, I would probably use it to impress Lily Evans."

"The one you upset tonight?" Remus was surprised James was so taken with a young woman he hardly knew.

James grinned. "I know it sounds strange, but there's just something about her."

"I know what you mean," Remus agreed, staring into his cold coffee. He thought back to when he saw Sirius and chuckled.

"What? You met someone, too?"

Remus somehow managed to keep from rolling his eyes and groaning.

"You could say that."

"Who?"

"Uh… I-I didn't catch her name."

"It wasn't that Bellatrix girl, was it?" James asked timidly.

"Huh? What? No, no!"

"Good. She scares me."

Remus couldn't help but laugh.

"Why?"

"There's just something about her I don't like. You know, like when we first met Pete?"

Remus remembered. They had been about 12 years old and it was summer. Remus and James had been sitting on James' porch drinking lemonade and considering going for a swim when a little blonde boy, shorter than both but still around their age, had walked up.

"Hello. I'm Peter Pettigrew. My family just moved here and my father told me to get acquainted with the neighborhood children."

James had gotten a strange look on his face and leaned toward Remus and whispered, "I got a funny feeling about him."

Remus, having been raised to always remain somewhat polite, shh!ed his friend and stood to greet Peter.

"Hiya. My name's Remus. Remus Lupin." When James stood, but refused to introduce himself, Remus added, "He's James Potter."

"It's nice to meet you both," Peter nodded, wiping his brow. Remus considered offering him a drink, but as this was James' house, decided against it. He just stood, eyes darting between James and Peter.

"Peter, James and I were just thinking about going for a swim. Would you like-"

"Sure!"

"Okay. C'mon, James."

James sighed but followed them. Once there, of course, James was back to his normal self, talking and joking with both Remus and Peter. Since that day, they've been friends. It had been as simple as that.

Drifting out of his memory, he saw James stirring his coffee with his finger. This made Remus chuckle.

"Erm, what exactly are you doing that for?"

James sighed. "I dunno."

"Well, what's wrong?"

"Evans."

"Ah. Well, why don't you pay her a visit in the morning? I was thinking of visiting mum and dad."

"I don't know where she lives," James replied glumly.

"Surely Sirius does! Or, if not him, one of our mother's is bound to know." Remus smiled slightly at the thought. Their mothers were quite the gossips, always visiting one another, while their fathers (who visited each other frequently as well) mainly just sat and smoked pipes.

"Yes, I guess you're right. I… It's just- What did I do wrong?" James was now waving his arms wildly, slinging a bit of coffee across Remus' face.

"Just, when you go in, start by apologizing. Simple as that." Remus doubted it would be that simple, but it seemed to give James new hope. He was now muttering to himself.

"Yes, apologize… Simple, of course!" He exclaimed suddenly. Remus gave him a confused look he ignored. He stood and stretched, yawning.

"Well, Rem, I'm heading off to bed. See you in the morning."

"Night."

Remus spent that night dreaming of linen closets.

Author's Note: Hiya. I'm working on lengthening my chapters, see?? Haha, all I can do is try. Excuse the long gap between updates, as I am extremely sorry. I have summer schoolwork for the first time EVER, and it sucks. I have to read My Antonia and do some work on it, and it's not a dull book, it's just I hate being forced to read. Okay, ramble over. So, review and tell me what kind of parents you want Remus to have! Weird, uptight parents, easy going, one of each?... And what about Lily? What made her angry? Review and tell me/ guess! Did this chapter suck? Review! Did you love my introduction of Snape? Review! Wasn't James' denial awesome? Review!! Hee hee. I love you all, and thanks for reading!