Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto or My Milkshake by Kelis.
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My Milkshake
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For Johnny Boy
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"My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard!" Naruto cheered while jumping around the training field. I roll my eyes at his antics.
Oh, what's this? Sasuke is looking over at Naruto as he continues to sing his dessert-like tune. Normally, it wouldn't catch my attention because seriously, who wouldn't look over at the ramen-loving, fox boy singing My Milkshake, and give him a weird look.
But the look in his eyes, it's almost…mischievous. Like Naruto is correct when he's saying that his milkshake really does bring all the boys to the yard. More like homo-emo-depressing boys to the yard. – Cough – Sasuke – Cough–
The way that Sasuke looks like he wants to take a large sip of that milkshake – most likely orange flavored – makes me feel so accomplished. I've always sensed that he was gay!
"My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard, and they're like, it's better than yours!" I see a twisted, yet amused look on Sasuke's face. He looks as if he would love to finish that sentence.
Wait holy crap! What was that! I knew it, I just knew it! As Naruto sang the next line, "Damn right, it's better than yours", he was looking over at Sasuke! I have always sensed a love connection between them.
Yeah, being the only girl on a team with a perverted sensei and apparently two male lovers, I've learned to pick up certain things. Things like Sasuke inching over to Naruto as he keeps singing, but pretending that he's just training. Yeah right! I can see right through that act!
"I can teach you, but I have to charge you!" Naruto was still…frolicking…around.
I could tell that Sasuke was having a very hard time controlling his – can you believe it – hormones. I mean seriously, what gay guy wouldn't when he sees his eye-candy dancing around on a warm, summer day singing about delicious milkshakes and prostitution?
"So how much would you charge Sasuke?" I bravely ask. Naruto stops singing and both him and said boy turn to me instantly. I smile at them knowingly and shoot them an expecting look.
"W-what do you mean Sakura?" Naruto stutters, sounding like the girl who had been crushing on him for so long.
This is my first piece of evidence. Ever since a few weeks ago, Naruto had stopped calling me Sakura-chan, and Sasuke has been way nicer. He's obviously been getting laid by Naruto. I wonder if they do it in the forest or like, in Sasuke's room. Wait, stop Sakura! Bad thoughts! All though, it kinda turns me on…
"You tell me Naruto." I answer bluntly while looking down at my medical book that Tsunade gave me a while ago.
Naruto just shrugs and continues on with his song. Sasuke is still looking at me, so I – being ever so generous – return the gaze. I just smile knowingly at him.
"I can see you're on it. You want me to teach these techniques that freaks these boys!"
"Oh, I'm sure that Sasuke wants to learn these techniques that freak him out!" I state while smiling brightly at him.
"Um, well, no…" Naruto says.
"Are you implying that he's better in bed than you are Naruto, and he should really be singing this boisterous song?"
"No!"
"So you are better in bed than him?"
"No, that's not what I'm saying, it's just-"
"Whatever Naruto," I resume reading my book.
Naruto just skips across the training ground, taunting his lover, and singing. When shall he learn what he's getting himself into?
"Just get the perfect blend. Plus what you have within. Then next his eyes are squint. Then he's picked up your scent!"
"Talking about onyx eyes there, aren't you?" I ponder aloud.
Now, Naruto does something that I think is rather odd. Yeah, he blushes. Sure, I've seen him blush before, but now it looks almost – pretty. Does that make any sense? Maybe this gay thing is turning him more girly than before.
Yes, most definitely odd. Although, I've always wanted a gay shopping buddy…
"What's Naruto's scent in bed Sasuke?" I see him twitch and soon, this day comes to my liking. I think that Naruto and Sasuke would make such a cute couple. Sasuke's broody and depressing and Naruto's everything but that.
"Sakura," He mutters darkly and I just giggle, satisfactory with the fact that I can make him nervous.
"How is Sasuke's milkshake Naruto?" Oh yes, this is fun. Naruto's turning into a tomato and Sasuke's eye looks like it's having a spaz attack.
Sasuke then looks at Naruto and shakes his head. Naruto giggles. Yup, giggles like a little girl.
"Come on Naruto, spill!" I say, no pun intended. "I mean, is it yummy and sweet, or kind of sour, but still tasty. Like a mix of bittersweet and darkness, but in a good way. Maybe Sasuke's just a secret sweetheart and it tastes like cotton candy!"
"Um…" Naruto stutters while playing with his hands and looking at everything but me.
"Wait, maybe he tastes like Ramen! Yeah, that's it! That's why you love drinking that milkshake all-day-long!" I conclude, egging on Naruto and his blush.
Naruto opens his mouth to respond, but Sasuke shoots him a deadly glare and says – growls – "Naruto…"
"Tell me Naruto." I purr.
"It's freaking awesome Sakura! His milkshake is a dark blue-ish color and tastes like blue raspberry with a tint of mint!" I smile, for I was correct on my assumptions.
"Well, you do know what's better than the milkshake, right?" I ask, walking closer to the poor boy who doesn't know what I'm talking about.
"What?" He questions excitedly. I look at Sasuke out of the corner of my eye to see him looking at both of us deadly. I giggle to myself. He knows exactly what I'm talking about. If only Naruto did…
"His straw." I answer. Naruto gives me a weird look, still not understanding.
"What are you talking about Sak– oh, OH!" Finally, he figures it out, and if possible, the red on his cheeks becomes a deep crimson. "Um…yeah, that's pretty, ugh, g-good."
Yeah, maybe it was wrong to bring Sasuke's – manhood – into this, but it is totally worth it to see Sasuke Uchiha blush! Yup, he's blushing. Maybe not as red as Naruto, but there is still a small tint spread across his well defined cheeks.
"Just to your liking, I suppose. I mean, Uchiha's always deliver, right?"
"But of course!" Naruto answers and I grin upon seeing Sasuke's look of annoyance and irritation.
"Is it big, small, or does that even matter to you?"
"Big, duh! Though, I'd still love it even if it were small." Oh, just wait till I tell Ino! It's not like I like him anymore, but any nuisance caused to Sasuke is always fun. Ino will tell his whole fan club, and well, you can just imagine what will happen.
"Kill me now." Sasuke mutters while hitting his head against the bark of a tree near him.
"Well, I'll leave you two, to um, drink some milkshakes! Yeah, have fun!" I exclaim while waving them goodbye. Naruto is doing the same with a large smile on his adorable face.
Of course, I wouldn't really leave. I masked my chakra and hid behind a tree. I knew that Sasuke knew I was there, but it wouldn't stop him from tasting Naruto's delicious beverage.
"We're alone…" Naruto whispers as Sasuke smirks. Naruto moves closer to him and sits atop his lap. They're about to get at it and bring some boys to the yard with their delectable milkshakes.
"Warm it up, the boys are waiting…"
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Fin
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…But not really...