Series: Gravitation(anime) by Maki Murakami

Disclaimer: TIZ THE FINAL CHAPTER OF DISPAAAIIIRRR -shot-

Chapter 18 : Bittersweet

The funeral was in a serene place. It was sakura season and the pink petals were already scattered on Daisuke's fragile face. He looked so peaceful in the casket. Shuichi did his best to keep himself from breaking down from the whole ceremony. Yuki and Hiro had gone to support him. It wasn't a big funeral since his mother was dead and his father was in prison. Leah was gone. The only one of the other four from the group that came to the funeral was Kris because he had insisted so intensely. He would have throttled Shuichi himself he wasn't in hand cuffs. He believed Daisuke shouldn't have saved Shuichi. He also decided not to give Shuichi a hard time because he also knew that it was painful for him. They had both lost Daisuke.

Shuichi didn't cry at the funeral. He had lost all the energy to do anything since that night. The light in his eyes had been totally eliminated. Even after Kris and Hiro left, he stood there at the grave. Yuki was waiting for him, leaning against his car. He knew that Shuichi needed some time alone. His deep purple eyes recalling all the memories of Daisuke that had led up to his death. He remembered that the doctor who pronounced Daisuke dead at the hospital had given him a paper that Daisuke still had clutched in his hands to deliver to him the night he was killed.

He pulled it from his pocket and read it slowly. He began to shake as the words shook in his head. Shuichi fell to his knees and clutched the letter in his hands.

Shuichi,

I know you won't forgive me. I know that you'll hate me forever even after I see you and give this to you. But you must know that I never meant for it to be this way. Please know that I blame you for nothing no matter how our lives turn out from this point on. And please forgive me for the horrible things I've done.

You know, I've listened to a couple of your songs. You have a great voice. I've never known much about writing lyrics, but I wrote these a couple years ago for you to sing. It doesn't look like that will happen now, but I'm sure you'll be able to figure out your own tune.

"I've made my mistakes

And though time doesn't let me stop

To just apologize

Hear my words before it's too late

Don't hide your head

It will be over soon enough

Don't be ashamed

But do move on

I hope to see you at that gate some day"

I mean exactly what those words say. Even if you can't hear them the same way the song says it. Heh, I guess it's pretty stupid I just can't say it to you. I guess you could consider it pathetic on my part. You know I've always been weak like that.

-Daisuke

Why, Daisuke? Shuichi raised his head to read the gravestone. There were no words of endearment. Just his name and life span. You deserve something more… Shuichi felt a hand on his shoulder. It was Yuki. The writer stared down at Shuichi sympathetically.

"Come on, let's go home." He helped Shuichi up and into the car.

On their way back to the apartment, Shuichi stared back at the graveyard until it was no more. It was like Daisuke was leaving him behind all over again. He was. He was gone but for good this time.

-One Year Later-

Shuichi stood once more at the gravestone of Daisuke. He had healed. It had been a long process though. When he had written notes to the song that Daisuke had written; he got Hiro and Suguru to fit in their parts to the song and was a number one hit on the charts for five weeks straight. He also transferred the song to his laptop and played it at the highest volume for hours on end for months to the expense of his and Yuki's hearing abilities.

It didn't help that Craig, Louis, Kris, and Thomas had been released to America for their trial. The American officials argued that since Shuichi's attempted murderer was already dead, that the other four should be taken back to the east for their own trial about the other two murders. No matter how hard Tohma tried to keep them in Japan, it was impossible even with all his connections. Kris was the only one sentenced to death since all three ganged up on him and said he did it. He didn't really care though. He believed like Daisuke, that he had gotten his one way ticket to hell a long time ago. Before he was put on death row, Shuichi had a visit with him. Kris didn't really have the desire to hurt the boy anymore and told Shuichi about Daisuke's past. Even if it made his healing harder, Shuichi now knew what Daisuke went through.

It was tough for him, but Shuichi eventually pulled through the depression like before with Yuki at his side the whole way.

"Daisuke…" Shuichi brushed away the layer of sakura petals on the gravestone. He couldn't find words to say. Thank you? I'm sorry? He had said them so many times before. Why would now make it any different? A single tear escaped his eyes and he sadly smiled, "Goodbye." He walked away from the gravestone, his heart no longer so heavy. Finally accepting all that had happened. Shuichi stopped in his tracks. He held up his head and looked at the cloudy sky, thinking of Daisuke. It started to rain lightly. "Don't worry, I won't forget you." He smiled and then continued on his way.

He came to a car which a tall blonde leaning against and smoking. Shuichi sighed angrily. "I thought you were going to try and quit." He headed to the passengers seat.

"Hmph." Yuki threw the cigarette butt on the ground and got into the driver's side. He turned to the pink haired singer. He had changed so much in the past year. Shuichi was still fun loving and energetic, but became more mature since Daisuke's death. "Are you ready?" He asked before he started the ignition.

Shuichi turned to him with a meaningful smile. "Yep."

Yuki smiled back. He made more of an effort lately to be not as cold to Shuichi. He had been the one to help Yuki out of his depression. And he had been the one to help Shuichi. He didn't want to let that work on their relationship go to waste.

When Yuki started driving, Shuichi decided to make conversation. "Ne, Yuki, do you want to go to the Sakura Festival this weekend?"

"Hmm…I dunno, brat." He still called him that though. It was only to be playful. "I believe I have a deadline then."

Shuichi just smiled still, "You sure you can't move it?"

Yuki's eyes drifted to Shuichi and then back to the road. He had learned to say what he really wanted to instead of being a hard ass and saying the exact opposite just to break his lover. "Alright."

Satisfied, Shuichi looked out the window, "Ne, Yuki?"

"Hmm?"

Shuichi's eyes played over the quickly passing objects and his smile faded. His mind reviewed his memories of Daisuke and that he was gone but that Shuichi was still living. That even though Daisuke had tried to hurt him, but ended up saving him. That Daisuke had been the victim of confusion and misunderstanding but that through and through he had stayed the same. Daisuke's death had been horrible and sad in the sense that a light was put out, but also hopeful in another sense that more people would become aware of those circumstances that he had suffered and that fewer people with experience it.

"Is this what they call a bittersweet ending?"

A/N: Wow. It's done...hmm...-doesn't know what to say-

ANYWAYZ. I added a different version of Chapter 17. I didn't delete the old one though since most of you seemed to like it. If you go back to the page and scroll down you'll find it. I do think I like the second one better though, even if I ended it suckily. X3

The reason I say "east" instead of "west" as most people refer to when they talk about America geographically was because Seattle is near Japan east-wise. Just clearing up any confusion you people had...

So yeah! That's it! This fic is done. I enjoyed writing it and thanks SOO much to you awesome readers :D Especially...

Darkmetal Angel of Destruction: Whenever you said, "Short Chapter" I got all "goaiuetoqweiufoaisfjaw948123094" and forced myself to write at least 1,000 words per chapter. It was annoying, but it really helped me push myself to put more into my story.

Amber Hermione: I always looked forward to your detailed reviews and they really helped me not want to drop the fic and move on. I wish I had more to say, but that really gets it to the point!!

TEWG & 801, Naruta13, Paon, Ratsrule, Sana-chan9, Moosxaxlot, A Gravitation Fan, coffee-house-girl, kabelly, and sun's and stars: I can't thank you guys enough for reviewing all my chapters. It really made me want to write more and your encouragement was also awesome too. I was really unsure at first since this was my first romance fic, but I feel a little more confident now X3 I'm hoping to write another Gravitation story soon.

Thanks again everyone!