December 15, 1998

"Bath time, my dear, and then to bed. How can your face get so gritty after a day spent in your rooms? It's beyond me. Your parents are coming to visit tomorrow; Potter will be here with you and I'll make myself scarce. It's better for all of us if they don't have to be faced with the reality of me. It's enough that they come.

"Here, let me wash your left arm. I'll just hold it in place here against my shoulder, wash it and dry it. Such pretty fingers. Poppy and I keep the nails cut short now, you know, although Miss Brown threatens to visit and give you a "proper manicure." I dislike the thought of others handling you, though. You cannot choose, so only Poppy and I touch you. We hope you will not mind the intrusion.

"Now the right arm. I'll have to rub lotion on your elbows tomorrow morning. Probably your heels too. Your skin does tend to dryness. How ironic, you with your dry skin married to the greasy git. I'm sure that isn't the most striking irony to you, though. I often wonder if you know what has happened, what we had to do. I hope you are not angry about it. Even Potter agreed it was for the best.

"Right leg next, then. Yes, your heels do need some lotion as well. Don't worry, I won't forget. Will you be angry, when you wake, that we didn't allow your parents to take you, to place you in a facility so far from us? We wanted you here at Hogwarts, surrounded by magic and by those who care about you. It was the headmaster who decided… left leg now… that we would keep you. When your parents threatened to go to the Wizengamot we realized that the only way to fight them was for you to be married to one of us. Potter would have done it, of course, but his affection for Miss Weasley was deep. They are married now. It was between me and Lupin, and the headmaster felt that while your parents might be successful in challenging a marriage between you and a werewolf, we'd exploit the bias for war heroes and marry you to me.

"Now your front… if you are at all aware of what I'm doing you are probably mortified. Please know that I would never take advantage. Our wedding night was the only time, and I only did what was necessary to be legal. I prayed that you were not aware; you didn't seem to be. I left a house-elf to watch you after… Potter and Lupin and I went to the Hog's Head and got drunk. We all three cried that night.

"Let's turn you over and get your back. I know what it's like to be powerless, so I can imagine how you feel right now. That's why I talk to you while I bathe you, so you'll understand that I will never take advantage of the power that the law gives me over you.

"Sit up now, lean against my arm while I put a nightgown on you. Such a pretty white gown… Minerva bought it for you the other day. She's coming in tonight to sit with you while I make my rounds. We never leave you alone, in case you wake up. Even though you haven't awakened at all in six months, we still hope that you will. We are still trying to heal you.

"Here, let me brush out your hair and braid it. They wanted to cut your hair, to make it easier to manage, but I wouldn't allow it. 'All right then, Severus, but then you'll have the care of it,' is what Poppy said. Potter once told me he was glad I'd taken a stand, that you still look like yourself. It's important that you know yourself when you wake up.

"Minerva should be here soon and I'll be gone for a few hours. They told me I wouldn't have to make nightly rounds after I married you, but I feel I must. It's not to terrorize the students and exert my power over them as everyone thinks. It's for their own good. It doesn't give me pleasure. Maybe, powerless as you are, you will understand.

"Every night I prowl the halls, finding the children in hidden places as they commit acts that will scar them, acts that will leave them more vulnerable than they dreamed. Seduced by appetites older than they into giving power over to another. Losing control. They call it love but that's a delusion. There is no love, only power. I stop them if I can. It's to protect them.

"I was very young when I learned this and I count it the best lesson of my lifetime. My father was a powerful man. He demanded respect, not love. My mother loved him and it made her weak. He exploited that weakness, beating her and forcing her to do unthinkable things. He finally broke her. She never fully recovered from that final beating, delivered a week before I left for Hogwarts. She had attempted to intervene in my punishment for some small failure. I spent that last week scrubbing the bloodstained drawing room carpet and nursing her back to semi-health. She never left her bed again.

"My first week at Hogwarts was a horror show. Oh, the classes were good… I'd always loved learning and there was so much for me there! Potions in particular. On the first day the potions professor talked about restoring health to the invalid, bringing strength to the weak. If I could do that, I reasoned, I could heal my mother. I resolved to learn all I could about potions and their powers. And so I have.

"Outside of classes, though, there was the problem. I'd never interacted much with other children, as my father kept our family to itself. I had no friends, even in my own House. While inter-House rivalries were somewhat less cut-throat then than they are now, I quickly felt the sting of the other House members' assumptions about me, a Slytherin. The Gryffindors despised me because I was "sneaky". What they will never understand is that sometimes endurance and subterfuge are the necessary qualities for ensuring survival. The Ravenclaws hated me because I could so clearly see the benefit to myself of learning certain spells; for them the knowledge itself is the goal. What is the use of knowledge if it cannot be translated into action? And the Hufflepuffs feared me automatically because they fear anything they cannot understand. My mother was a Hufflepuff, you know. I meant them no harm. They feared me anyway.

"There, the tangles are finally gone. Prepare to be braided, Mrs. Snape.

"It was the Slytherins who advanced the task my father began, of teaching me about power and weakness. I later learned that it happened every year in Slytherin House and had done for generations. One boy and one girl from the incoming first year class were selected to be the toys of the most powerful seventh years. Thus, for one year, I became the slave of Lucius Malfoy and Bellatrix Black. My first night at Hogwarts was spent in Malfoy's dormitory, learning my new duties. It took me several days to heal from that initiation, so the next several evenings were spent with Lady Bella, as she insisted I call her. The nature of those evenings was such that I actually preferred the time spent with Malfoy. Not that I was naturally inclined that way, you understand, but it was more straightforward than Lady Bella's entertainments and ultimately less damaging. You can be sure that I put a stop to the practice as soon as I became Head of Slytherin House.

"There, all finished. Just lie back against the pillows and I'll pull the covers up. I've told you this so that you'll always know that I will never take advantage, and so that you know you have a little bit of power over me. Nobody else knows about this, only you.

"I won't hold you against your will. When you awaken, you may decide where you'll live, whom you'll be with, what you'll study. I hope you do wake tomorrow; you are the brightest witch I ever met and I hate to see your potential wasted. I never said that to you when you were awake, I know, but it is true. I would be pleased if you were to decide to stay here, with me, but it isn't necessary for you to do so. If you do decide to stay, please know that I'll never take advantage.

"We tried the new potion tonight, so perhaps you WILL awaken tomorrow. That would be a nice surprise for your parents and Potter, wouldn't it? I hear Minerva at the door now, so I'll take my leave. Sleep well, my dear. I'll be quiet when I come to bed. And please, please try to wake up tomorrow."