Epilogue

Lisa

It's been a few months since Randy and I broke up. I haven't seen or spoken to him since that night. I can't believe how stupid I was. He was right about everything he said. That same night I called Don and broke up with him. Randy probably doesn't know, but I doubt it would matter. I've never seen anyone as mad and hurt as him when I told him the truth about Don.

I know I should just pick up the phone and tell him, but I haven't been able to find the courage. I know, I'm selfish, thinking that it's just as hard on me, but it is difficult. I mean, I never meant for it to happen. I never meant to fall in love with someone else besides Randy.. I'm still not sure.. I thought these feelings would go away after I broke up with Don, but they haven't. Now I can't stop thinking about either one of them....

I'm just sitting in my room right now in New York. My roommate isn't here and my thoughts are running a mile again, like they do everyday. Damnit! Why am I such a wuss? I should just pick up the phone and dial his number. Ok, I'm just going to do it. I pick up the phone and with shaking hands I dial his number, trying to control my breathing as I listen to the dial tone.

My heart is beating very fast right now. It nearly jumps out of my chest as I hear someone picking up.

'Hello?' My breath gets caught and my stomach holds butterflies as I hear his voice.

'Uhm, hi..' I say carefully. There is no response on the other end of the line. 'Yeah, I know I'm probably the last person you wan to talk to right now.. I know you're hurt and angry and you have every right to be.. But please don't hang up, ok? I just want to talk...'

I hear him sigh deeply on the other end.

'Fine, talk.'

'Ok, well, I just wanted to say I know I screwed up.. I am so sorry, Randy... I never meant to hurt you. You were right about everything, you were. And I broke up with Don..'

'So that's what his name is?'

'Uhm, yeah.. But I broke up with him and..'

'Lisa, why are you calling me? I mean, just to apologize? You already did that a few months ago and it doesn't make any difference whatsoever. You really expect me to believe anything has changed in the last few months?'

'No, I just wanted to talk to you, because..'

'Because of what? Because you're feeling guilty? Because it's the right thing to do?'

'No.. I just want to let you know that I know how you're feeling right now, I've been there.. I know it doesn't help, but I understand how you're..'

'Excuse me? You think you know how I'm feeling? You've been there? When was that? When did someone you love with all your heart rip out your heart and tear it into pieces, after saying they are in love with someone else, besides you and she can't choose. When, Lisa?' I can feel tears welling up as I hear the pain in his voice.

'I.. I didn't...' I say softly.

'Exactly. So just call me when you do know how I feel. Goodbye, Lisa.' The tears silently roll down my face as he hangs up. With shaking hands I put down the receiver and turn on the radio. I turn on Love Radio and grab a pillow, hugging it as a new song comes on. As I listen to the lyrics, I can't help but cry...

Don't Tell Me You Do (Rockapella)

So you say you've been here, you know me
You really understand.
You've felt the way I feel.
Well sugar, let me say I don't think
You even have a clue of how
You've blown my life apart.
Honey, you got no idea.

Don't tell me you do.

Don't tell me that you cry in you sleep each night.
Don't say you spend each hour wonderin what wasn't right.
Do you stare into the mirror thinkin what
is it you should change?
Do you wake up every mornin, reachin over to find
You ain't there, and you ain't comin back?
You cannot know how this feels.
Don't tell me you do

And you thought this phone call could
fix things - could wipe away the
guilt you feel. You ask too much.
When you said forever, I guess the
forever that you meant must be much
shorter than I planned.

Tell

Don't tell me that you cry in you sleep each night.
Don't say you spend each hour wonderin what wasn't right.
Do you stare into the mirror thinkin what
is it you should change?
Do you lose yourself in conversation
lookin ahead,
then look up,, there ain't nobody there?

You can ask me to say I love you.
I do, and that won't change.
But please don't ask me to say everything's
okay, cause it ain't. It just ain't.

Don't tell me that you cry in you sleep each night.
Don't say you spend each hour wonderin what wasn't right.
Do oyou find yourself alone in all the places we used to share?
Do you wake up every mornin, reachin over to find
You ain't there, and you ain't comin back?
You cannot know how this feels.
Don't tell me you do

Little does she know in another room in a different part of New York, Randy is listening to the same song, his heart aching for the losing the love of his life...

--

A/N I am very sorry for ending the story this way, I know you were hoping on a happy ending, but can't always let good things happen, right?

I think I'm going to write a sequel to this story. Any objections?

Well, I loved writing this story. I'm not that much into romantic mushy stuff, but it's in my head anyway, so have to get rid of all of that somehow, right :P

But anyway, I hope you enjoyed this story as much as I enjoyed writing it. I'm hoping you won't mind a sequel, because this story is far from over in my head ;)

Please R&R and let me know what you thought of my story and I thank everyone who reviewed and read the story so far, especially again Randy Taylor, who reviews every chapter and helps me out when I'm stuck. Thank you so much for that :)

Thanks again and much Love, Baxxie