-Birthday Gift-

"Happy early birthday, Danny!" Tucker ran up to Danny as he waited for the bus to arrive. As soon as he reached his best friend, Tucker showed Danny a small package, engulfed in wrapping paper. Danny reached out for the present, and smiled.

"What is it?" Danny asked hesitantly. He held up the small gift in his hands, studying the petite gift. He shook it by his ear, trying to guess what it was. It made no noise.

Tucker crossed his arms over his chest, smirking. "It's a book."

"You're so.. generous," Danny chuckled nervously. "Thanks." He faked a smile (not a very convincing one, though) and shoved the gift into his booksack. Danny started to make his way towards the bus as it pulled up.

The kids lined up, then piled onto the bus, Tucker and Danny following. As the teenagers sat down in a seat, Tucker asked, "Are you not going to open the gift?"

Danny made a face. "Right now?"

"Yes, right now!" Tucker urged, taking Danny's present out of his booksack. He flashed a cocky grin, handing it to Danny. As the bus wheezed, coming alive, Danny tore open the gift. He glanced at the cover, and gave Tucker a skeptical look.

"Seriously?" he scoffed. "You are actually giving me this? Advice for the Clueless?"

Tucker nodded. "Yup." He flipped open the cover of the book and pointed to the introduction. "Read it." Reluctantly, Danny obeyed.

Dear Reader,

I bet you're wondering why you picked up this book. Well, there are two reasons why you might've. One, you might have been curious. Come on, admit it. The title caught your attention. Advice for the Clueless? The clueless of what? The clueless of love, moron. For those who don't get what's going on in the minds of young women.

Two, you might have been desperate. Desperate for advice, for help. Maybe, you and your girlfriend are fighting. She says you don't understand her. So, I'm here to help. Or, maybe everyone's been telling you that this girl likes you. But have you noticed? By you reading this, probably not. That's why I'm here, clueless! To give you advice. Advice for the Clueless. Got it? Gooooooood. There we go!

There are some things that you need to look for: her body language, what she does, and what she doesn't do. Like I said a few mintues ago, I bet you're wondering why you picked up this book. Well, after you finish the last page, you'll be glad you found this.
Trust me, I know.

--Dr. Dane--

Danny looked up to see Tucker wiggling his eyebrows.

"Huh? Huh? How about it?" he asked, nudging Danny on the shoulder. Danny shrugged, fidling with the edge of his present.

"I dunno," he muttered. "It's.. It's okay, I guess." And for the rest of the trip, they were silent. Danny looked at the table of contents.

1. When You See Her at Her Worst
2. When She Runs Away from You
3. When She Ignores You
4. When She Says Nothing is Wrong
5. When She Pulls Away
6. When She Kicks and Punches
7. When She Holds You Hand
8. When She Looks Like Something's the Matter
9. When She's Scared
10. When She's Silent
11. When She Puts Her Face Near Yours
12. When She Acts Shy
13. When She Screams at You
14. When You See Her Walking

As Danny and Tucker got off the bus, a voice startled Danny as he was lost in the book. "Hey, Danny, what are you reading?"

"Ahhh!" Danny jumped back in surprise as he stuffed the book behind his back. He glanced around, trying to find the source of the voice. He stopped at the sight of Sam in front of him.

Sam laughed as she reached out for the book behind Danny's back. "I asked what you were reading." Danny shoved the book into his booksack, blushing.

"Nothing," he answered nervously. He glanced around, trying to find something to talk about. "So, let's head to school, shall we?"

"C'mon, Danny, tell me," Sam whined, clutching her best friend's arm. "It's just a book!"

"It's, uh, something for Literature," Danny lied, "so quit it!" He slapped Sam playfully on the arm, then headed towards Casper High. Sam turned to Tucker, dazed. Tucker just laughed, following Danny into the highschool.