It's a bird, it's a plane, no tis another chappie, bitch!
Couldn't resist writing this one fast. I liked the last chapter and when I keep Naruto in the present. So, I decided not to diverge the story into two...well, maybe I'll occasionally make an omake of a chapter and for all that doesn't know what exact is an omake, it's basically a short containing humorous things but doesn't have to have humorous things.
So... yeah, the storyline is basically the same with Naruto, how he rose to be a great ninja of the Leaf, with one thing changing and I decided to discuss that briefly. Enjoy this one, I'm trying to make it like a satire and more darkly humorous, if you think spilling blood for a malevolent religion is funny.
Bad Religion (A Naruto Fanfic)
Another, Another Proverb
Many years in the older universe of which the Earth has shifted in, there's always been a discussion of which religion is the true one and the righteous one. Many religions survived and were created out of older religions such as Judaism, Animism and Taoism. In the Judaism standard, Christianity was birthed and out of that, Satanism came with its "twisted" ways. Satanists believe in the Devil of Christianity to be a good spirit/god, sometimes called to be "Reverse Christians". Satanism's beliefs are, for example, this motto: Respect those who deserve the respect and give no mercy to your foes. These beliefs soon came to create the religion of Jashin, who believe in "shimmering the world in chaos" for the god in which they pray for. The motto "Respect those who deserve the respect and give no mercy to your foes" came onto Jashinism, so it could be said that Satanism birthed Jashinism although it has nothing to do with the "teachings" of Jashin. While the world of Naruto's, some religious aspects such as Animism, Taoism, Confucianism and Shintoism survived through the ninja world, the teachings of Jashin is rapidly grasping the minds and devotion of many. --
"Naruto-kun." He said evenly. "Did you take care of those pesky Konoha ninja?"
Naruto put up a wall of smirks on his face. "Well, let's just say their blood is very adhesive in my mouth, master."
"Excellent. You are close, I can feel it now. I beseech you, I know it is a easy feat to drink one thousand unfortunates." Hidan said, smirking himself. "The humankind is such a disease, my friend. Soon, the Jashin followers will rise up and show them why they are black sinners. We will be rewarded with life and they will be rewarded with eternal death."
"Yes..." Naruto grunted happily. "Master... I have all but one concern."
"Proceed to speak." Hidan agreed to let the man talk.
"Is it... truly a sin to savor the taste of a kill, my master?" He asked, knowing the answer.
"Are saying that you are killing in your favor, my son?" Naruto winced. He knew that voice of his Jashin priest/follower. It was just a raging storm waiting to shoot out expletives in the face of Naruto, which he hated to hear because Hidan could get very vulgar and nasty when he lost the respect of one. 'That insipid motto of Jashinism really sucks. Master could also be... hothead sometimes.'
"No master." He lied to make his master pleased with him. "But there shouldn't be such a petty-"
Naruto look at his neck, a pike was pointing to his jugular vein, begging to Hidan to cut the throat of the close heretic. "Say 'petty' again, boy and I will not hesitate to slit your throat as you stand. Say it, and be forever punished in the Nexus by Jashin and all of his followers."
"M-Master." Naruto squeaked out, out of fear. If Naruto was frighten of anything in this world, he was completely terrified of how violent could be, especially when he was the only one here with the touch of immortality in his hands. "I mean no ill-will of Jashin and his teachings but rather it seems a little... harsh."
"The sinners need to be punished by Jashin for all of their sins against Jashin. If one doesn't know nothing, that's a black sin. If one does not pledge to Jashin and to another, that's a blacker sin. If one pledges to Jashin but betrays him for another, that's the darkest sin in the bible of Chaos. You speak heresy... are you committing one of three Dark Sins?" Hidan asked Naruto, still the pike of Hidan to his throat pointing fatally.
Naruto sighed. "No master, I only needed to know because I like killing in the name of Jashin."
Hidan's pike fell to the leg of his and sighed happily. "Then son, you are no heretic. Jashin wishes you kill for him and you to enjoy it. Savoring the kill, the blood you drink and the soul you condemn, Jashin wants you to be happy... I am sorry for trying to kill you, Naruto-kun but you have put somewhat of a fear in my head. What you believe to be a sin is not, you have nothing to fear." Hidan smiled at the man. "Come now, we must begin the praying. Bring you pike."
Naruto nodded.
Grabbing his pike, sitting down in a symbol of Jashin named "The Chaotic Delta", he stabbed the pike in his chest, making sure the pike didn't pang his chest. Even with reinforced power bestowed on him by the late demon that was Kyuubi, he was vulnerable if the weapon hit his heart or brain.
Hidan following, having no problem with this. "Let us begin..."
"Beloved but anguished God of our faith
Let us pray to you once again
Let us be filled with your knowledge
And your infinite path of destruction
Let us abuse your power once again
To create the mayhem you so deserve
Let us create the destruction you want
Forgive us for using this power again
For they may be our last time
In the evil God's name, Jashin, amem!!" The two stopped and Hidan stood. "Naruto, I have to kill again in order to instate my position of immortality. Take good care and if you want to go out before I come back, be sure to not tell the Akatsuki leader so."
Naruto nodded at his master, grinning at the mischief and raised his hand to Jashin. "FOR JASHIN!!"
Hidan also raised his hand. "FOR JASHIN!!"
Chapter 3: Ode to Jashin! Or really: The Darkest Follower versus The Violent Queen
A little after, Hidan did not return anytime soon and Naruto decided to take a walk (Of course not telling the leader of Akatsuki) to think about his current life. As a Jashin follower, he basically sighed his life to a loyalty he would die if he got out of. 'It sounded cool when I first join Jashinism... the killings are quite exasperatingly beautiful. It also comes with a good point. At least after drinking the blood of one thousand Evils, I can finally become immortal!'He grinned as he walked down a path, straying far from Akatsuki, moving just past Amegakure, loving as much as his master to piss of his leaders of Akatsuki. 'On purpose!'Soon... so soon...
Naruto felt himself bump into another, which groaned. "Jeez, it's like I crashed into a boulder." Naruto blinked as he looked down to see a woman. She was just as surprised seeing a man walking down an empty path like this. "Uh... hello?"
"... Hello..." Naruto said, after a few moments of silence. He looked on the girl who sat on the floor, gazing back. The girl looked simple: a black-brunette girl with a simple okay face though Naruto payed no real heed to her really. "Why are you here?" He said in his usual apathetic voice, one of which he could not get out of unless he was killing-- the only thing exciting in his life to make him scream in pleasure.
She got up and dusted herself off. "Yeah, hello to you to, Mr. No-name."
"Answer me, why are you here... and who are you?" Naruto said... almost ignoring her for did not for some reason.
She grinned cheekily. "My name is Zetsumei... no last nae unfortunately."
"Zetsumei? ...End of life?" Naruto blinked, not really understand he was commenting to her name. 'I shouldn't give a damn what her name is. All I should do is push her down and kill her...'"Like your name is so great... hey what is your name?" She asked, smiling at the boy.
Naruto stood in silence and then answered. "Akaarashi."
She blinked in confusion. "Red storm? Did your mama actually name you that?"
Naruto stared at her, hard. "I have no mother, nor father."
"Oh... I'm sorry." She said. "I feel stupid saying that."
Naruto stared at her only, never opening his mouth even to breath. She blinked back, her hand move about, crazed. "Look, I'm sorry I offended you. Don't be like that."
Naruto stared at her for a second, of which she can now see his slitted red eyes. 'His eyes... there are like...'"Tell me... Zetsumei-san..." Naruto said, with a ghost of an (evil) smile.
"Please, please, call me Mei." She grinned. 'Those eyes tell me something good about him.'
"...Mei-san, tell me... have you ever heard of the religion of Jashin?" Naruto said with still that evil smile on his pale face. Just apart of his normal routine before he killed his opponents: to ask if they have heard of Jashinism and have they prayed today?
"Jashinism...? Oh yeah, that evil god religion-thingy! Well, I'm interested in it but I really like killing for myself."
Naruto's eyes widened slightly. "You... kill...?"
She grinned like a shark. "I kill my enemies after talking with me... you want to be my next victim, Naruto "Jashin" Uzumaki?"
Naruto grunted. 'She knows! I will kill the whore for her sins against my religion.'Naruto jumped back. "So, you are trying to collect my bounty, Zetsumei-san? What a shame. You sound so interesting but of course... you are one of the many Evils in the world that I must vanquish for Jashin. For the crime of not slaying for Jashin but for your selfish purposes, I will slit your throat."
She still had that shark-like grin on her face. "Sorry, but unfortunately I have to kill you. After all, my village will pay a hefty price of your head." Out of the air, she did one handed seals at a speed that Naruto has never seen before. "Kuchiyose no Jutsu: Claymore no Ten. (Heaven's Claymore)" She said calmly, concentration on summoning than the Jashin follower.
Naruto grinned, ecstatically excited at such a prospect to pop up in such an aimless walk. "You have made me excited now. I'm really want to kill you now."
"And I want to kill you too."
Aw... young love.
Flashing a grin at each other, Naruto made his Chakra Katana come to existence. He licked his blade made out of pure red chakra and loving the taste (which taste like chakra of course). "I will love to see your pretty little blood on my blade, Zetsumei-san." He then sliced at the young woman furiously. "FOR JASHIN!!"
She dodged the blade just as fast as the blade came down and dodged it more as she see as the bleeding-red blade came down to a near by bark of a tree, which so came up in an ablaze. She keep smiling though. "Ha! This is more funnier than recent civil war in Kirigakure, Naruto-kun."
'Naruto... kun?' Such suffixes to Naruto's name haven't been as "friendly" to Naruto's name like that except his limited childhood which was still rare. Nowadays, he had suffixes added to his name like "teme" or "akuma" or was just called outright a "bastard". She was a strange one, that Zetsumei-san. 'Especially when she uses my name as if we have been longtime allies... ah, she hails from the Hidden Village of the Mist, eh? No wonder she loves killing as much as the regular Jashin follower.'He grunted arrogantly to her while slashing at her with his blade as she countered it with the claymore. As they stood on the path, under the usually rainfall of the country. The weapons pared off with each other, neither one of them could get the advantage. She smiled, unshaken at the power of her foe. He grinned also as he jumped back, releasing the Chakra Katana technique and threw ten kunai knives at her. Soon, he quickly did a couple of hand seals and said quietly in the rain. "Baisuu Kunai no Jutsu!"
She watched in amazement as the flying house of daggers fly past her head, trying to stab out anything that was clear. Spinning the claymore in a circle motion super fast, she created a shield to deflect the hundred kunais and after that was over, she drove her blade to the ground, surprising Naruto when he felt chakra being emitting as a wave as the sword met ground. "Wave Pulse!"
Naruto was thrown into the sky as the pulse of energy released and moved in his radius, of which he unfortunately got a taste of pain. She followed after him with iron curtain and superior Taijutsu. After landing kicks and fists on him, she channeled a purplish surge of chakra into her leg and ax-kicked him to the hard ground, in turn Naruto's widened as he knew normally chakra was not purple like that. Naruto never grunted in pain as it came a little too fast for him...
She watched as the man fell down from the skies and smiled. She soon frowned when she believed he was killed because he was not getting up fast. "Aw... he was a weakling. Couldn't even survive my weakest kick. I didn't even channel a sixteenth of my power in that ax-kick. Aww... what a bummer."
She jumped down on the floor as she investigated the hole the man created, surprised and immensely happy that Naruto wasn't dead. "Oh goody! You're-" She was cut short of her sentence finishing as he came from behind her and kicked her twice in her back, aiming for the spinal cord. Naruto did not look happy, as his slitted eyes burned more greatly and more cruelly now. "I don't want to kill you fast now... I want to cause pain first!!" He growled out to her falling self. Running on his fours like a beast, he ran after her, snarling beastly. "Get over here, bitch!!"
He clawed at her face, which messed by a hair she move her body quickly. She spun herself and kicked Naruto in front of and in back of his "hind" leg. She jumped up and tried smashing her fist in his temple, which he spun around to escape and send a taloned hurricane at her, which at least hit her three times. He stopped spinning and watch in satisfaction as she stumbled. 'Now to show why I'm superior to her in every way.'
"Chakra Shotgun!" He channeled chakra in his fist, cocked it back and held it as he ran up to her and threw a fireball-like blast at her. She widened her eyes in terror as the blast came in contact with her stomach. She felt the fireball creating a nasty eruption in her, exploding her with pain that was just ethereal. She couldn't even get up fast as she held her stomach as she feared he blasted a gaping hole in her. Greatly happy, she found no hole in her stomach... just a great pain.
She still could not stand straight as her knees buckled. Naruto sneered. "And you defame me as being a weakling when I haven't even used a hundredth of my power."
She looked down, blushing in embarrassment. 'Is he only using that little of his chakra?! Lies.' She limped over to her claymore and picked the blade up from out the ground and swung it over her head like a helicopter. "I'm... just starting, Naruto-kun. I admit that move was a little too overwhelming for me but believe me, I heal fast." Soon, she stood stronger, more straighter and more in power.
Naruto's eyes slitted more as it narrowed. "What the Nexus?"
"Welcome to my house of pain. My real status is Kiri no Zetsumei-- Zetsumei of the Mist and believe me in my country, my status is almost legendary. I am not an ordinary ninja you can just kill simply because you feel like it." She stopped to chuckled at the confused religious ninja. "You see, Naruto-kun, I am one of the chosen to carry the burden of being a Jinchurriki!" She said proudly. Naruto's eyes widened and when she spotted this, she smirked. "You are amazed, no? If you do know what a Jinchurriki is, I suggest you run far from here."
She looked triumphant over the man, grinning even but it all just changed when he just smiled. "You are too a Jinchuriki?! Excellent, then I can actually fight seriously..." He quickly stood up, brushing off himself off and then, almost barbarically, teared off his cloak and threw it off to the side (which really didn't make sense since he just brushed the dirt off it). On his arms, stood silver rings. He was half naked to the world and her, his "tattoo" not showing. He pointed to his navel as he grinned. "This is where my demon dwell in my body with its spirit attached but at the same time detached to mine own. What I mean, Zetsumei-san, is in order to instate power in my body, spirit and mind, I had to weave my soul with Its and become one."
He continued, now looking on to a shocked woman. "Now, I have the strength of both of us... none of the weakness. I have no real mourning or pity for the weak and I grown to love to kill like my demon. Without our... 'fusion'," he air-quoted to her, "I would have the power equivalent to a high level Jounin, still a feat, however, with these ninjas these days, I would be beaten in no time. But now our once fighting and raging chakras have joined as one... separate the real 'Naruto's' old chakra, it is like only level one of my true power. Then comes the once demonic king's old chakra as a strong second. Finally, when I attach them again, the essence is a dark purple, ranging from black and purple depending on what mood I'm in... hehe..." Naruto chuckled.
"Now you you know that, I believe we have fighting to begin." He changed his once lazy and unorthodox stance to a more respectable one. He crouched more and his taloned fingers on his hands took their place in his face. "Come, Zetsumei-san."
Zetsumei grunted, refusing to believe that Naruto had that much power. 'Lies, all bluffs to throw me off and waste my energy. I refused to believe he that much power in order to weave his life to a powerful demon king! It's not even possible. I can't even weave my life to a low-level demon. Why, I bet he doesn't even have a demon inside like he would like me to believe. He's going to die, very hard and bloody!!'Zetsumei waited as the "demon" came towards her at a remarkable speed, timed herself and safely jumped to the skies... until she felt a taloned hand sneak on her leg and pull her down roughly. She grunted as she felt herself getting a little hurt as he tried to knock her leg out of her socket very roughly. She recovered however and kicked him in his shin, thinking that slowed him down. Quickly flashing through seals as she grabbed her blade, she spoke out. "Wave Pulse!"
Naruto ran to her and then jumped when he felt some of the Earth's energy release, creating a mini-earthquake. He landed as the earthquake left the radius and he channeled chakra in his hands, slugging her with blue chakra. She grabbed his arm as he underestimated her, thinking she would fall easy to such a weak punch and tried sending her thumb in his jugular vein. He dodged it and tried again punching her, this time with red chakra, the speed of the punch much faster. She knew with that speed she could not dodge it, so she picked up her blade quickly and stopped his hand from reaching her face. The claymore shook as it was forced to take the blow to protect her face. She could not believe the blade was wobbling. 'I hope he was bluffing now.'Naruto stood upright and commenced channeling massive amount of his energy into his hand, shaping to a sphere made of pure chakra. "I hope you like the taste of my Rasengan!"
Trying to plunge the ball of chakra into her stomach, Zetsumei desperately held him by the wrist and used some chakra to assist her throwing of him. "The amazing things of what chakra can do...:" She muttered to herself as she breathed out relief. "That was shaped out of pure chakra alright." Amazed to see Naruto was still flying, she watched in morbid fascination and fear as the so-called technique dubbed as Rasengan met a match, which was a rock, and shredded the large boulder to thousands of very small pebbles. "And what if that hit me?" She could already feel the massive pain she would feel.
Naruto stood up, actually hopping up eagerly, and turned to her. "Now you see my powers but I will show you why you should fear the Jashin name. FOR JASHIN!!"
Running towards him with her massive blade, she screamed to him. "Stick Jashin up your ass!" She swung her blade fast and fast until she threw it at him with such velocity and force. "Rasen no Mai! (Dance of the Spiral)"
The blade hit Naruto fast as not only it spun fast and hit hard, it was laced with her chakra, which now looked more of an... evil blue. "She's a demon container after all," He reminded himself. "I got to watch out. Kyuubi's power or not, she's strong."
Soon as he said that to himself, she seemed to poured out more chakra, that seemed to get more and more darker. Her hair started to get more longer, wilder and more sharper in color and in style, turning to a hellish jet black. Her face turned into more of a dark green color, as her body had gotten more denser and more in detail. Her clothing started ripping and stretching more as her body changed around. She completely forgot about the sword, Naruto thought out loud as the blade Her bigger chest breathed more wildly, out of proportion as if she was a true stone demon herself. Growing black wings also, she stood more with eviler eyes with purple whites in her eyes and her irises in both of her eyes were crescent shaped. She spoke up soon as the transformation took its tole on her body. "Ah, Naruto-kun, you now see I'm not to be messed with. You are no longer dealing with a regular Zetsumei now. Allow me to introduce myself to you. I am the Blood Queen, Tsubasa and now, you are in my sanctuary of death."Tsubasa-fied Zetsumei stood as she grinned like a vampire... actually, she was like a vampire. "Clergy member of Jashin, prepare to die!"Naruto saw her slitted eyes pierce his own and grunted as her razor-sharp blades that were her blackened fingernails cut a fairly deep wound in him. She licked the blood off her fingers and savored the taste. "Your blood tastes so heavenly, Naruto-kun." The demon said viciously seductive, sounding like her she was getting orgasms off his blood. "Simply delicious."Soullessly looking at her demon, Naruto's eye swirled more and his face became more feral. His body had gotten more stronger and more solid, those lean and nice muscles on his body was now doubled to an almost bulky form. Shooting fangs at her as his chakra flowed around him venomously, he charge at her, trying to put some holes in the "Blood Queen's" arms. He was surprised, mortified and more excited to find that his fingers were almost crushed by her arms that was strong as adamant diamond. Recoiling in pain, the vampire look-a-like smirked as he realized that he didn't stand a chance against Zetsumei and the Blood Queen!!
The demoness keep feeling a sense of familiarity each time the red power showed up on Naruto. Naruto, deciding to make things more interesting, shifted his power from "intermediate" to "hard/difficult" mode. The redden aura had became a sickening red violet, looking as grotesque as poison. His aura moved without him moving, becoming an absolute defense. It so much spoke to here. 'Hello, Tsubasa-chan!!'
The self-proclaimed Blood Queen's eyes widened to the aura, growling at her. The voice sounded so... familiar. Suddenly, she finally realized what it was... or rather who it was. "T-The Bijuu (tailed beasts) Champion... Kyuubi-sama!!"'Yes, that's correct, wench. It is I, Kyuubi no Kitsune, king of Youkai (demonic energy) and champion of the Bijuu, Tsubasa.' The aura spoke out to the vampire demon. 'You should of realized this type power was not to be challenged, lowly demon.'The queen came to her knees, gulping with her head down. "Forgive me, Lord Kyuubi. I could not think you would be in the body of such a pitiful hum-"The aura soon rose to her neck, threating to cut at her, creating a fiery aura blade. 'Finish your sentence if you dare, wench, try and complete it before your head is severed off. You would do not so well to talk of my subordinate like that. He and I have weaved each other together, like he had stated before and to call him pitiful, is to call me pitiful. Are you calling the great Kyuubi-sama a... pitiful demon?'Utterly fearful of her life, the Blood Queen stuttered. "N-No, master, you are far from being called weak. It was not in my nature to call you so."'One more crack like that from you would get you killed, wench. I suggest you and your pitiful jailer to get out of here. I don't want to see you in my site again because if me and Naruto-dono does, it will be your end on this disgusting plane of existence. Do I make myself clear?'Wordlessly nodding, the Blood Queen made sure she understood. Anybody in their right mind would fear the name of Kyuubi no Kitsune, a notorious demonic figure in Makai. When Kyuubi/Naruto knew she knew of his set rules, he issued her to leave. Turning back to Zetsumei only, the brunette nodded to Naruto. "We will meet again, Naruto-kun and soon, I will kill you and that demon inside you."
Naruto chuckled, still in his Kyuubi-fied form. "I will see to it that the next time we meet, you will be left to die."
Zetsumei offered no answer, and was omitted from his existence, Naruto not thinking of her again that day and night.
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Hope you like the chapter!! Don't be afraid to review, my cheeky fellows.