SLF: Hey, guys[hides behind chair as tomatoes and various fruits are thrown her way I know, I know, I've made you guys wait entirely too long for Chapter 11. I have a multitude of valid excuses but I won't bore you with any. In penance, I have this cute drabble, a short side-story entitled: Harry, How Do You Fly a Broomstick?, and Chapter 11 coming your way soon. I hope you will forgive me. As you can see, this drabble is going up first, then very quickly comes Chapter 11, and finally the side-story (which is going to be fairly lengthy; 5000 words-ish) will come out when I am happy with it. I hope you enjoy this short, silly piece of humor that I thought of last night and HAD to write.
This takes place sometime during the future timeline of a Fine, Fine Line, so if you care to, I'd recommend you read that first.
"So for light, they flip on a switch thingy which connects the circuit, yeah, that's what it's called, of electricity and BOOM! Light by Muggle!"
Lyra Donnovan and Draco Malfoy were sitting at a small table in the library of Hogwarts. Books were spilling off the table and they were both writing on bits of parchment paper. Lyra looked rather pleased with herself and Draco looked rather bored. Draco yawned looking at her with glazed eyes,
"Why must we suffer through all of this primitive muggle tripe?"
Lyra smiled slightly bemused,
"Why is it primitive?"
"How is it not?" Draco sat up, "We can simply use magic and they have to invent all sorts of daft equipment with ridiculous levels of complexity and we have to learn about it."
"You do realize that when referring to us 'superior' wizards you used the term 'simple' and when referring to the 'primitive' muggles you used 'ridiculous levels of complexity'?" Lyra fixed her laughing eyes unto a reddening Draco.
"Well," Draco sputtered and mumbled something incoherent, before looking at her once again, "They are stupid."
"That's all you've got?" Lyra raised an eyebrow. She closed her book and leaned on her hand, "Have I ever told you about my theory of evolution?"
Draco groaned, "No."
"Good," Lyra grinned evilly, "So, back in the dawn of time: 10,000 …um… 200,000,000 …um… it depends on who you talk to. Anyway, back when humans first started, in the mist of a scary, new world, everyone was a muggle."
"What?" Draco interrupted, "That's stupid!"
Lyra kicked him under the table,
"Shut up when I'm telling my story! Anyway, after the amoebas had multiplied and turned to fish, and then to mammals, humans came along. And, as previously stated, they were ALL muggles."
"Even the wizards?" Draco prodded irritably.
Lyra just glared at him,
"That was a stupid question. Back to MY STORY, for many years everyone lived happy, cavemen lives. Until one day, a child was born. The parents, let's call them Lisa and Bob,"
"Those are stupid names," Draco commented.
"I'm going to hurt you!" Lyra kicked him again. This time, however, Draco winced before kicking back. This resulted in a painful, all-out war under the table. Which was promptly stopped when Harry passed by them and laughed,
"No footsy under the table! Shame on you two."
"Shut-up, Potter," Draco sneered but the two restrained themselves once again.
Lyra resumed with no further prodding,
"So Lisa and Bob had a beautiful baby boy. They named him," Lyra looked around and spotted a Hufflepuff boy, "Cedric."
"Cedric?" Draco looked highly amused at this.
"Yes, Cedric. So Cedric was a happy, normal muggle child. Until one day, weird things started happening when he got upset. The caribou would explode or it rained, stuff like that. Bob and Lisa were frightened that a demon had possessed their child. So, in happy caveman language, they told their son that there was something wrong with him, that he was sick."
"What does this have to do with anything?" Draco moaned.
"Who's theory is this? It's all very important!" Lyra snapped, "In fact, Cedric was not sick. He was however, genetically mutated. Cedric was the first wizard."
"What?" Cedric called from a couple tables over, "Did you say something?"
"No, sorry!" Lyra called back, "Cedric grew up and soon other muggles were born with the same wizarding defects. They banded together and evolved into the modern day society of uppity wizards. Today we have all forgotten that we came from muggles."
"We did not!" Draco was appalled.
"My theory," Lyra stated calmly before continuing, "And so, all the so-called purebloods are really just decedents of the first genetically defective muggles, now referred to as wizards. Muggleborns are simply first generation wizards."
"That is the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard," Draco scoffed.
"The truth is hard to swallow sometimes," Lyra smiled at him, "Now in conclusion, we are all related. Which means, my dear Draco, that you are no better than any muggle."
Draco rolled his eyes at her.
"And since we are all related," Lyra continued gathering her books, "No more making out."
Draco's face went blank as she started walking away,
"What?!"
Lyra laughed as she exited the library an angry Draco rushing after her.
SLF: So that's my piece of random silliness. I hope it brightened your day reading it as it brightened my day writing it. Please review and look for Chapter 11 to come out soon!