Robot Inuyasha

Ok this is just something for when I feel random. It's just Inuyasha characters in stupid situation acting stupid but in a funny way. And it's my way of appologizing for my long absence.

Sesshy-Badazz

"What did you say?!" Koga yelled.

"I said I have a bad itch!" Sesshoumaru replies casually.

Koga walks away in seething silence.

"Fat bitch" Sesshoumaru mumbles.

The truth behind law enforcement

"Ok you've all got 2 minutes each to explain your story." Kagome dressed in a policeman's outfit said.

"Why only two?" Inuyasha asked.

"Because I've got a hair appointment at three and if I walk out of here looking like a tumble weed…all of you are going to go to jail where all the crazies are!"

Silence.

BATMAN

"Good golly gee willickers spiffy sneakers BATMAN!" Shippo said.

In Court…Part 1

"Your honor, as the court can see the victim hasn't showed up so what do you say we just throw this whole big ass law suit out…" Inuyasha began.

"Wait your honor! My client is here." Naraku said barging in followed by Kagura in a wheel chair, a neck brace, and a bandaged head. Inuyasha stood mouth open in comical disbelief.

"Oh my goodness, are you ok?" Kaede asked concern in her voice.

"Yes your honor, it's just the throbbing from the plate in my head." Kagura answered.

SOULJABOY

"YUAAAL" (soulja boy music)

"aaaaaaaAAAAAAAAH…Soulja boy off in this hoeWatch me crank itWatch me rollWatch me crank dat soulja boyThen super man dat hoeNow watch me yuuuuaaaaaal!

"I don't get it?" Koga said.

"Get what?" Ayame asked.

"Some people say that song is nasty but I don't know how."

"Why don't you listen to the lyrics?"

(Soulja boy song later)

"Watch me crank that Roosevelt…And super soak that OH! Now I get it."

In Court…Part 2

"Raise your right hand please." Sesshoumaru, the bailiff asked emotionlessly.

"Oh but the pain…" Kagura said pathetically.

"Don't worry about it, you poor thing." Judge Kaede said.

"Now, I know this must be terribly painful and traumatic for you but do tell the court what happened." Naraku proceeded.

"Well your honor, I-I slipped and fell. The floor was soaking wet and now I'm forced to look like this. I was once a beautiful young woman."

"I object!" Inuyasha said standing.

"On what grounds?!?" Judge Kaede yelled.

"She was iight." Inuyasha finished.

"Sit down immediately…overruled."

"Kagura, do you feel there was any one person at fault in this court room?" Naraku asked.

"Well, yes"

"And do you see him in this court room today?"

"Yes but are you quite sure I'm going to be safe? He did say that if I identified him that he was gonna…he was gonna…BUST A CAP IN MY ASS!"

Sango, Miroku, Kagome, and of course Inuyasha had looks of disbelief.

"Kagura, dear, no one's going to bust a cap in your ass." Kaede said kindly.

"Well, ok…IT WAS HIM!" Kagura yelled pointing to Inuyasha.

HEY KOOLAID

"Oh no" Naraku said.

"Oh no" Kagura repeated.

"Oh no" Kanna added.

"OH YEAH!" The Koolaid man said bursting through the wall.

Stares.

IMA BUY YOU A DRANK

"Huh?"

"What is the matter Lord Sesshoumaru?" Rin asked.

"Can T-Pain really sing without that machine over his voice?"

"It probably went something like him walking in and singing like a dying bird and someone said 'Hey let's make this retarded son of a bitch a star!'". (All in good joke…I LOVE T-PAIN!!!)

In Court…Part 3

"He saw the whole thing happen after he mopped the floor and didn't even try to help me. And then the rest of them just stood around and laughed at me." Kagura said.

Inuyasha, Kagome, Miroku, and Sango had narrowed eyes and open mouths.

"And then they put me in this room and forced me to eat Spam. I don't even know what Spam is."

"Niether do I, that sounds disgusting." Judge Kaede added.

"No, when Sango makes Spam sandwitches she really puts the thing in it. Stand up and tell 'em Sango." Inuyasha said pulling Sango to her feet.

"Well your honor I put chopped onions and…"

"Thank you…I know all I need to know about Spam." Judge Kaede said.

"Your honor did you know Spam comes from a Spig?" Miroku said.

"No more talking about Spam!" Judge Kaede said banging her hammer thingy.

"Tell the court what kind of injuries you obtain at the Inuyasha Inn." Naraku said.

"Well it would be easier to just tell you what didn't get hurt…my toes."

"I object! Those toes are jacked!" Kagome yelled pointing to Kagura's blackened crusty feet.

"Order in the court! Order in the court!" Judge Kaede said banging her hammer again.

"Yes, I'd liked to get a hamburger with cheese and…" Inuyasha said. Kagome pulled him to his seat.

I CAN'T BELIEVE

"I can't believe Kikyo's dead." Inuyasha said.

"I can't believe this is her 27th time dieing." Sesshoumaru said in genuine disbelief.

"I can't believe it's not butter!" Kagome said biting into a piece of toast.

In Court…Part 4

"Miroku..." Naraku started.

"Hi"

"Hi"

"Were you at the Inuyasha Inn on the morning of the accident?"

"Yes I was, I don't have to give out my social security number do I? I owe a lot of taxes, you know?" Miroku asked.

"That won't be required." Judge Kaede said.

"Did Inuyasha mop the floors prior to the accident?"

"You know I'm not sure…"

"Well did he tell you he mopped the floors?"

"You see that's what I'm saying…first he said he did, then he said he didn't."

"Oh Ah Uh Hm, so what you're saying is that Inuyasha is a liar."

"What, yo mama." Inuyasha said.

"Would you say that Inuyasha was a liar Miroku?"

"Well a little white lie…hasn't ever hurt anybody, you know but us."

"That's enough questions…Inuyasha is a habitual liar."

"Who you callin' a habitch?" Inuyash stood and advanced toward Naraku only to be stopped by Kagome's ever popular…

"Sit" Inuyasha slammed into the ground.

DARTH VADER

"Inuyasha, I…am your father." Sesshoumaru said.

Inuyasha fainted.

"Finally" Sesshoumaru said grabbing Inuyasha's wallet and walking away.

In Court…Part 5

"Koga" Naraku asked Koga now on the witness stand.

"How would you describe Inuyasha as an employee and as a person?"

"Uh g-good, good." Koga said watching Inuyasha fanning money behind Naraku's back.

"And remember you're under oath." Naraku said.

"…He's the most bone-headed, idiotic, mutt I've ever had the displeasure to see!" Koga said.

"No further questions." Naraku said with a smile.

Inuyasha hung his head low at Koga's stupidity.

"Koga" Kagome whined.

"I was under oath."

Ses doesn't care

"Oh no he's coming!" Jaken whispered frantically.

"Don't talk or he'll see your lips moving and he'll know you are talking to me." Sesshoumaru said from the backseat of the car Jaken had drove to meet the kidnapper Naraku who had yet again kidnapped poor Rin.

"But I'm scared." Jaken said.

"Jaken, the point of the element of surprise is for it to be a surprise. Now stop moving your lips or I'll kill you myself.

"But what if he shoots me!"

"I'll live"

In Court…Part 6

"Sango, hi"

"Hi"

"You know Inuyasha as a friend do you not?"

"Right"

"Is he usually messy?"

"Well only when he's eating Ramen." Sango laughed.

"Oh so he's always had a problem with messiness."

"Oh well, we all get messy some times."

"Messes like the one in the lobby that day!"

"Wait…"

"NO FURTHER QUESTIONS!!!!"

"AAHH" Sango screamed and began to strangle Naraku. Everyone quickly ran up to stop the madness.

SHOCK

Inuyasha walked into the bathroom and his eyes widened. Sesshoumaru froze what he was doing and looked at his confused little half brother.

"Wow, the evidence just keeps piling up huh?" Inuyasha stated as Sesshoumaru put the eye shadow away and walked out.

"Make any joke you want, you know I look good."

"For the record I thought that was part of your demonic markings so thank you killing my respect for you."

Mr. Potatohead

"Hey dad, I'm back." Lil' Sesshoumaru said as he walked in.

"Sesshoumaru, where's Inuyasha?"

"He was just standing next to me five hours ago."

"Hey Bro, you remember me?" Lil' Inuyasha asked as he walked in on cue.

"I'm the guy you left standing at the counter at WcDonalds with a bag of burgers in my hand. Yeah, I tried to walk home but…lot of hungry deer out this time of night." Lil' Inuyasha said casually. "You may have noticed…I'M MISSING AN EAR!" Lil' Inuyasha said emphasizing by showing the dog-demon the whole in his skull where his ear once was.

"Managed to pry it out of the deer's mouth and put it on ice so when you want to apologize just talk into this CUP!" Lil' Inuyasha said holding out the WcDonald's cup.

"Sesshoumaru, how can you be so irresponsible? Inuyasha could have gotten hurt!" Dad said.

"Yeah, I'm missing an ear, I guess that doesn't count." Lil' Inuyasha said sarcastically.

"I'm very disappointed in you, go to your room!" Dad yelled. Sesshoumaru sighed, too tired to argue and did as he was told.

"Don't worry, I don't need to go to the hospital, I'll just use this Mr. Potatohead ear." Lil' Inuyasha said sarcastically and placed the plastic ear in the hole.

In Court…Part 7

"I would like to call Inuyasha to the stand." Naraku said. Inuyasha got up and brushed himself off.

"Alright, let's do this!" He walked by each of his friends and slapped their hand, then walked to Kagura and slapped her lightly on the cheek.

He walked to Sesshoumaru and they pounded fists then he sat. Sesshoumaru held out the book for swearing. (Bible I just didn't want to insult anyone.)

"It's all good." Inuyasha said then prepared for questioning.

"Inuyasha…hi"

"What's up? I like the whole outfit by the way, Judge. I love the black and wh-…" Kaede glared at him.

"I'm just going to leave you alone now." Inuyasha decided.

"Now, Inuyasha, did you mop the floor that morning?"

"I did not."

"Well then, do you recognized THESE!?" Naraku pulled out used cleaning gloves. Kagura screamed and Inuyasha looked worried.

"Those aren't mine" Inuyasha said cooly.

"Try them on."

"Shall I approach the jury?"

"Be my guest."

Inuyasha did the OJ walk towards the jury and slipped the gloves on to where his thumbs stuck out. He held his hands up and looked innocent.

"Objection, your honor, he's faking." Naraku said.

"I object because she's faking." Inuyasha said walked quickly to Kagura.

DunkenDonuts camercial REMIX

"Shikon, Tama, Shiki, Gami, Tetsu, Seiga, Hanyou, Youkai!" My friends and I all chant with a robotic tune.

"My mouth can't form these words, my mind can't find these words. Is it Chinese or maybe Japanese…perhaps Chinapanese." Haha ok so I threw that one in because me and my friends always bust out laughing whenever some complicated Japanese word come up in Inuyasha and we can't say it.

In Court…Part 8

"She's been faking the whole time." Inuyasha said.

"That is enough!" Judge Kaede said.

"Is this going somewhere Inuyasha?"

"Yes, your honor"

"Well get on with it, I'm expecting a booty call."

"Go on with your bad self." Inuyasha said raising his eyebrows.

"I would like to call to the stand, Kagura!"

"What?" Kagura said.

"Inuyasha, what are you doing?" Kagome asked.

"Don't worry I've watched enough Law & Order to know what I'm doing."

"Kagura, if that's your real name, is it true that you have red eyes?"

"Yes, so?"

"I was just establishing to the court that you…any way. In all seriousness, is it true that you can't DANCE?"

"That's not true, your honor. I was a fabulous dance prior to the accident."

"Oh really because last I remember the Tootsie Roll didn't look like this." Inuyasha showed the court a crack-addicted version of the Tootsie Roll. Everyone in the court laughed and Kagura turned beet red.

"That's not true your honor. I can the Tootsie Roll, the Running Man, the Soulja boy (threw in that last one huh?)." Kagura said showing the court. Everyone gasped.

"That's it court adjourned." Judge Kaede said banging the hammer-a-bob and all walked out except Inuyasha , Kagome, Koga, Sesshoumaru, Miroku, and Sango. Suddenly Kagura tripped over her wheel chair.

"Ah help, I've injured my spine!"

"Come on everyone let's give her a hand." Inuyasha said. Everyone extended a hand then through it in her face making a rejecting "Eeerrrrch" and walked out.

THE END! Tell me which one was your favorite and I might make more.