Disclaimer: I'm too tired and disheartened to think of anything cool or witty so I shall just say that I do not, nor have I ever, owned Kingdom Hearts. I never will.

A/N: Hey everybody. This is not a chapter fic but rather a depressing Zemyx oneshot. No, the love is not one sided or anything of the kind. I do have an idea that could change this to a chaptered fic and if I decide to do that (if I get enough response from my readers) I will take this off and replace it with the chaptered fic. The chaptered fic won't be nearly as depressing. It all depends on what you guys want. I have finished chapter ten of How To Love A Somebody and am in the process of writing chapter three of Best Laid Plans. I also have several other oneshots and chapter fics in the works. My writers block is officially over. Yeah! As soon as my beta returns with chapter ten and I finish nitpicking, I will post it.

Everyone, grieve with me over the loss of my computer, which I had to send to San Diego, California to have it repaired. California is across the country from me. Apparently the recovery disk wasn't enough. Now, I'm using my parents slow, old, rickety computer that has dial up and word 03. I can't even beta because my parents are around 24/7. It gets annoying.

Dedicaton: This is to everyone who has ever read, reviewed, faved, or alerted me or my works. Thank you so much for ever thinking that I have some talent. This is for you.

Everything is in Italics because it is a letter.

Letter To My Loved One

Dearest Myde,

I sit here, writing by the light of my candle, listening to the rain pour down outside. I'm thinking of you, wherever you are.

I should be asleep, as the rest of my family is, but I find that I can not. My thoughts are filled with you and refuse to let me rest. I miss you.

I miss your smile, your optimistic tendencies. I miss the way you hugged me, as though every one would be our last. I miss your laugh and the sparkle that was ever present in your eyes.

I know that this is the way things have to be; that we had to be separated. I regret that you are not allowed to be with your family. Your sister married. She's expecting now. They say that, by the amount of bulge she has for being only five months along, she is most likely carrying twins. Naminé says that if they are boys, she will name them Roxas and Sora. Marluxia is taking good care of her, so no need to worry about that. I remember how much you distrusted him and opposed their engagement. He is a good man, though, and seems to make her happy.

I know that this letter will never reach you, for I shall never send it. It will stay locked up in my desk, in the secret compartment. Remember how I told you of the day that I found it? I swear that this letter shall remain hidden, for I know that our love must remain a secret. After all, that is why you left.

I wish that our love was not forbidden. That we could be together, as your sister and Marluxia are. I wish that our hugs didn't have to appear platonic. That our kisses were not hidden or surreptitiously given. That our love making did not have to be done in the woods, late at night, when only the animals could possibly be our witnesses. I wish that we could have married and been together for all to see. But my wishes will never be fulfilled. Two men loving one another is a sin, after all. I know that I will never see you again. You are probably still crossing the seas, making your way towards England and your new home. Oh, how I wish I could join you, but I have obligations here in America. I have my mother and sisters to care for.

I think I knew that you were saying goodbye the last time you hugged me. Your embraces have always been a bit desperate, as though every one was our last, but the last one filled me with dread. I could feel the sorrow emanating from your body. I could feel the regret.

What I don't know is if you regret our time spent loving each other. Do you regret the love we felt for one another? Do you regret the kisses and the lovemaking we shared? I can not say for certain as to whether you do or not. I certainly wish that it weren't so.

I know that I do not. If I had a chance to erase what had happened, I would not take it. I wouldn't trade a single kiss, a single declaration of love, not one thing, to go back to the way things were before you and your family moved here. I regret not a thing.

Our love was not meant to be. I know this. I accept this. I can only sit by the light of my candle every night and pray for a chance that, someday, we shall meet again and that our love will be recognized and rejoiced. That it will not be considered a sin and that I will not feel as though God looks down upon me for how I feel towards you.

My candle is dying, the wick nearly extinguished. I shall go to bed now, for I must get up early tomorrow, like everyday. I will finish this letter, hide it where no one will ever find it again and go to my hay filled mattress. I shall wake up tomorrow, attend services, card the wool, teach my youngest sister, Fuu, how to churn the butter, and go to the fields and harvest my crops. I shall participate in the barn raising for Goodman Edan and tomorrow night, I shall waste more of my precious candle wax writing another letter to you; another letter that you shall never see. I shall weep for what might have been possible and then repeat the next day.

It's a never ending cycle. And you… you were the only thing that kept me alive.

I wish you well… Demyx.

I love you,

Ienzo (Zexion)

In the year of our lord, 1672, in the month of March, on the day of the 6th.

A/N: Yes it is short but it is only a letter. If I make it into a chaptered fic, do know that the chapters will be much longer. And nowhere near as depressing.

Oh, and Ienzo calls Myde Demyx and himself Zexion in the last bit because they are nicknames they made up for each other.

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