Authoress Note: I'm on a roll. Within the last seventy-two hours I believe I've submitted three stories. W00t! This is another one of my pointless crackish stories (heh, obviously), and I'm surprised the other three haven't gotten any feedback whatsoever. -shrugs- whatev. Enjoy.
Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, but I'm not complaining. Kishimoto-sama has made it much more enjoyable than I ever could have.
What's Love Got To Do With It?
"Nee, Sakura, isn't white chocolate just wonderful? Right after ice cream, it is my all-time favorite comfort food." Ino bit into the sweet once more, nearly moaning as it melted on her tongue. "Sakura, you have got to try this!"
Sakura was at the woman's computer, scowling at her. Ino was on her bed, lying on her stomach. Her feet were in the air, waving back and forth, and she shoved another cream colored chocolate in her mouth. "I thought you were on a diet. Whatever happened to that?"
"I know!" Ino spoke with a mouthful, "I'm totally cheating but it's so good! Seriously!"
The pink-haired woman rolled her eyes and turned back to the computer. "I find it hard to imagine that you went out and got that on your own. You had a partner in crime; now tell me who it was."
"Hm?" Ino opened her eyes, snapping from her chocolate induced reverie. "What are you saying?"
Sakura stood form the computer chair frustrated and snatched the box off her bed. "Who gave these to you?" She gasped as the blonde frowned and took the box back in her own hands.
"Shikamaru! Now leave me alone." She put more into her mouth. "Don't you dare lay your finger on my precious chocolate or by god I'll scratch your fugly eyes out!"
The medic's beloved green eyes widened. "Fugly?" She knitted her eyebrows in confusion.
Ino nodded fiercely. "Yes, fugly! I don't care what happens. Humph." She turned away. "I have to eat something different sometimes or else I'll just be inhumane beast. Besides, chocolate nourishes the skin and gives it a healthy, radiant look."
"That's not why you're eating it though…" Something akin to slyness was present on Sakura's face. "Admit it! You'll cherish anything that's from Shikamaru!"
"Oh, please," Surprisingly, she set the box aside. "Shika-kun isn't that romantic. He didn't want to buy me these things at all. It was hard work trying to convince him to get these for me."
"And what did you do exactly?" The roseate woman asked, seating herself back in the desk chair.
Ino blushed, sighing at her friends' curiosity. "You should know. I did what all we women do when we want something. You know, the art of seduction."
At the revelation, her mouth fell agape. "Whore! You did that just for some stupid chocolates? You're basically telling me that you threw your virginity away just for lousy candy?!"
"Tch, no! That was gone so long ago."
"T-to who?"
"To Shikamaru of course!" Ino laughed loudly. "Ha, in the end I still beat you at something!"
"Yeah, at whorishness!" Sakura wailed, appalled at Ino's behavior. She narrowed her eyelids over green orbs, "That is so low. What, you seduced him into buying you those new shoes of yours? Or perhaps, that expensive handbag I saw the other day. Wait, forget this! You didn't even tell me you were into him!"
"So what? You're not my mother so I don't have to report to the likes of you."
"So…" Sakura paused, taking a deep breath. "You're in love with Shikamaru?"
"Eh, n-no! Shikamaru is merely my sugar daddy." She stated proudly. "Speaking bluntly with just one whine from me he pulls out his wallet. Sure, he mutters 'troublesome' while he does, but he does it nonetheless."
"And," her voice lowered just slightly. "You're just fine using him for money? No, this is defiantly worse than whorishness."
Ino remained quiet for a brief moment. "Well, at times. But then there's this look in his eyes… so deep and affectionate, like he wants to do it. To… see me happy." She grabbed a golden bear that was lying idly on her pillow and hugged it to her chest. "Isn't adorable? He got it for me too… When I'm not with him, I cuddle with this little guy…"
"Aw… and that's not love?"
Ino released a breath. "What's love got to do with it? I've got a guy who'd ask 'how high' if I told him to jump. He has the body of a god and hands that can do magic! Seriously, do I need love?"
'Oh, yeah. Total love. I can see it in her eyes.'
Sakura shook her head."Alright, fine, maybe I do a little… but putting a title on it would ruin things. Right now, I just want to share something chaste with him."
"Ch-chaste?!" Her ears were surly deceiving her. "Chaste love with a guy you've already spread your legs to?! No, no, no. The world doesn't turn like that."
Before either girl could say anything more, the blonds' room door came open. The males whose name they were so constantly using entered her room (clad in nothing but a white towel) and headed toward her bathroom. "Can I use your shower? Mine's busted. Yeah, thank you, whatever." He waited for no reply before entering her bathroom.
Sakura blinked, "Oh wow. It's like that already?"
"Get out."
"What?!"
"I said get out!" Ino shoved her out of the chair, before guiding her out of the room. "You've overstayed your welcome so go home!"
Sakura stuttered, "H-how can you throw me out for him?" Alas, she got no reply either, as Ino slammed her bedroom door in her face.
Ino shrugged off her freind's complaint, and headed toward her bathroom. "Oh, sugar daddy! Is there room for two?!"
Authoress' Note: I am so sorry, that was just a spur-of-the-moment type thing. Forgive me if it sucks, because it wasn't meant to be that good in the first place. Ah, well. Please someone out there give me some feedback!