A/N: It was really a pain to think of the title. It took me quite some time and I don't know if it's related to the story at all ;) but somehow, at the end I did use it. And even at the summary, don't know what to write ;)

Once again, I dedicate this fanfic to those who reviewed my previous ones, especially to spikesagitta, kurakami, Syaoran Li Chow and clarec97 who never missed to drop comments to all of those fanfics.

I don't know how you guys would take this one (hope you wouldn't kill me if you got bored hahaha). But anyway, you should read at your own risk!

And you know, you're so lucky that I don't own the characters.

Here's my 9th fic!

"Blame it to My Heart"

---Arvendell---

Chapter 1. The Announcement

Fukuzawa Yumi felt numb all over. She couldn't move. Not that she was trying anyway. She just lay there, in her bed, in a curled position. She had been like that for hours, been like that every night since that fateful day. The day her heart broke into pieces, the day of her death.

Tears stung her eyes once again, just like the previous nights. She didn't even know how she was able to manage the days, the days when she had to face the others, her parents, her brother, and her friends. She couldn't even remember how she fared at day. All she could think about was Ogasawara Sachiko, and the pain she was feeling because of her.

She shouldn't have come to that graduation party. She didn't even belong to that party. A common person like her didn't belong to the world of the Ogasawaras.

Why did she even bother to try to come closer to Sachiko?

It was all stupid.

If only Sachiko didn't invite her.

If only Satou Sei didn't pick her up to go to Sachiko's graduation party.

If only her friends, Shimazu Yoshino and Toudou Shimako, didn't shop with her for a dress.

If only her brother, Yuuki, didn't told her that it was stupid if she didn't come to her Onee-sama's party.

If only Matsudaira Touko, her petite soeur, didn't pout at her when she was having second thoughts in coming to what she knew, a grand party for the heir of the Ogasawara fortune.

There were too many ifs.

However, despite her discomfort of being not a noble person, Sei, Yoshino, Shimako, Touko, Nijou Noriko, Hasekura Rei, Torii Eriko, and Mizuno Youko's presence were enough for her to feel some degree of easiness at the party. Her brother was even there, no doubt, because of Kashiwagi Suguru's invitation. But despite knowing Kashiwagi's unlikeable ways, she wasn't worried too much. Yuuki was a strong one. He wouldn't be taken so lightly even if it was Kashiwagi.

And there was her beloved Onee-sama, her beloved Sachiko, who really looked like a princess that night. Not that she looked less in other times. It was just that, it was more vivid that night. The elegant blue silk dress, which was the color of her eyes, hugged her stunning beauty oh so perfectly. And the way it clung to her skin with every move she made, it was enough for her heart to skip a beat.

She watched with awe as Sachiko made her way down the grand stairs of their huge mansion as her proud father waited for her at the foot of the stairs. And after doing her duties of thanking and greeting visitors, Sachiko made her way to their table, the table shared by the Yamayurikai members, past and present. It took her breathe away as she could feel Sachiko close to her, so beautiful, so perfect. And when Sachiko thanked her for coming and complimented her dress with a beautiful smile, her heart went overdrive. And for the rest of the night, just like always, she couldn't take her eyes off Sachiko. She followed her with her eyes, inclined her ear to the sound of her voice.

It was really a heart racing night, a happy night. It was supposed to be that. And it was like that in the early hours, until her whole world was shattered.

When Sachiko was called to come near her parents, she, like the others, didn't suspect that something would happen. Something terrible. However, as her eyes caught Kashiwagi making his way in the same direction as Sachiko, her heart started beating fast, not with excitement but with creeping dread. She closed her fists tight, taking strength. She had a bad feeling about this, a very bad feeling.

And she was right.

Right there and then, Sachiko and Kashiwagi's engagement was formally announced.

She gasped loud, and didn't even care if the others at the table, who were all surprised too, heard her. She didn't even hear the deafening applause and the congratulations that followed. All she could hear was the announcement. She couldn't take her eyes off Sachiko, who swayed a little, no doubt in surprise too. And their eyes met, hers a shocked one, Sachiko a dreaded one. And she understood. Sachiko didn't expect that her engagement would be formally announced right after her graduation in high school, and she knew that Sachiko didn't like the idea of marrying Kashiwagi.

"Yumi-chan."

"Yumi-san."

"Yumi-sama."

"Onee-sama."

Her name. Someone was calling her name. Not only one but many. But she didn't pay attention to them as she watched Sachiko almost reluctantly yet with grace, accepted everyone's greetings, everyone's well-wishes, and everyone's expression of gladness for the now official couple. The only ones who didn't make their way to greet Sachiko and Kashiwagi were those in their table, the Yamayurikai. They were the only ones who knew Sachiko's feeling about the engagement, the only one who weren't glad at the announcement.

Yumi only broke from her frozen state when someone tugged on her shoulders almost forcefully. She turned just to see a worried Sei. And when she looked around the table, she saw that everyone was looking at her with concern. Everyone who, unknown to her, understood that her feelings for Sachiko were that of more than a soeur, of more than friends.

She started to tremble as tears started to pool in her eyes.

"Yumi-chan, get a hold of yourself. I know this is really bad. But it would be worse if you break down now," Youko said, immediately taking charge. "Do you want to get away from here?"

She blinked back her tears and straightened her back. "I'll be fine, Youko-sama, everyone. I want to stay here."

She didn't want to leave, didn't want to leave Sachiko whom she knew was feeling worse right now. After all, she was the one who was stuck in a position to marry the man whom she didn't love.

After the excitement had settled down, the party was resumed. However, Sachiko never again came back to their table, even when she and Kashiwagi weren't together. In fact, she even avoided looking at their way.

"This is stupid," Youko muttered and stood, just as Touko did. Both made their way to Sachiko, though Youko reached Sachiko first. She pulled Sachiko away from the ears of the others and talked to her for a while, and then she came back with a grim face. Touko was the same when she came back after talking with Sachiko, although she would have made a scene had not Youko stopped her.

"Let's get out of here. I don't want to stay in this place anymore," Youko said, gritting her teeth. If Youko was acting like this, then it mean that it was terrible, that whatever she talked with Sachiko had ended badly.

The other started to rise from their seats reluctantly, while she, Yumi, remained in her seat, unable to decide.

"Yumi-chan, there's no use in staying here. That fool of an Onee-sama of yours wouldn't listen to anything you would say," Youko said grimly, seeing her reluctance.

"Um, you can go ahead. I want to stay more for a little while. I want to talk to her," she said with pleading eyes.

Youko regarded her for a moment, then sat back again.

"Okay. We will wait for you. Do it quickly," Youko said in resignation.

A/N: This is an attempt to do something that isn't naughty. I hope it isn't too terrible. Tell me, is it? Or not yet? Probably on the next ones you'd be hunting me down ;)

05 March 2008