Chapter 1 - Reunion

The phone rings. 'It must be Edward, calling to check on me', I thought as I raced down the stairs to grab the phone.

"Hello- Joe's pizza," I teased.

"Bella," asked a very quiet Jacob.

"Jake! Where are you?"

"I, ...I don't know, listen..." he hesitantly answers.

"Jacob Black! You've got to call Billy this very minute. He's been going out of his mind."

"Bella. Listen, ...is it too late? I need to see you. I can't... Bella. I'm going crazy. Please can I meet you somewhere," he pleaded.

"Jake. Where are you," I asked again, with quiet pity in my voice?

"I'm somewhere near Lake Pleasant, I think. I'm at a phone in a gas station. I just can't get our last visit out of my mind. I can't let that last visit, with me unable to get out of bed, be the last time I ever see you. Please Bella, can I see you?"

"Jake," I proceeded cautiously, "it doesn't have to be the last time I see you. I'm getting married. I'm not dying. And even after the, um, change...it doesn't have to be the end. You know how much I care about you, Jake. It will be difficult and I'll be gone for a while, but we can decide our friendship is worth the effort to rise above all of the prejudices. It doesn't have to be forever."

"Bella, I need to see you. Before...," there was silence on the line for a moment, then; "Please Bella, I can't breathe. I can't eat. I can't sleep. Just once. Please just once, come to me and let me say goodbye. Then I think I'll be able to let you go. Please Bella." Jacob sounded so desperate.

"Jake..." I knew how much it had cost him to say all of that out loud. I knew he was putting all of his pride on the line, that he had laid himself emotionally bare. I couldn't bear to think about the hurt that must be in his eyes. I couldn't begin my new life knowing how much I had hurt Jacob. If I had even a chance of helping Jacob heal, I would take it. "Ok, where can I meet you?"

"Thanks Bells. Thank you. Meet me at first beach, near the path that goes into the woods. It will take me a couple of hours to get there, I think. Bella?" he asked.

"Yes Jake?"

"Please don't call Billy. I promise I'll go see him tonight. I just really need to see you first."

"Jake?"

"Yeah?"

"Where have you been? Why did you leave? We've all been so crazy with worry. Didn't you even think about how much this would hurt Billy?" I asked as gently as possible.

"I... I've been...running. Sam knew. I couldn't think anymore. I just needed to get away. I'm not even sure how long I've been gone. Thanks Bells, we'll talk more later. Just don't call Billy. I promise. I'll make it up to him tonight. I'll see you in a few hours." And the phone went dead.

I looked at the silent phone in my hand. I replaced the handset, then quickly picked it up again and dialed Edward. The call went directly to voice mail. I hung up frustrated. I had suggested that he go out with his family for one more hunting trip before we got married. I knew I would be the focus of his family's world for the next few years, and I wanted them to have one more carefree trip with each other before the wedding and my...make over. Still, I had hoped that he would answer.

I knew Alice would let him know the minute I disappeared from her radar, and then he would be compelled to race back from California to find me. I didn't want him to worry. I picked up the phone and dialed Edward again. This time I left a message. "Edward, I heard from Jacob this morning. He's a mess. I've never heard him sound more broken. He said he just wants to say goodbye, then he thinks he can move on. Edward, I have to try. I know I will disappear from Alice's vision for a few hours, but don't worry. I love you. My life is with you, I know that more than ever. Don't rush. I'll see you when you all get home, and I'll try to call again later."

I hung up and ran quickly upstairs. I didn't have much time. I jumped in the shower, barely allowing the hot water to warm my morning-chilly skin, as I washed my hair then jumped out of the shower. I brushed my teeth, and ran a brush through my wet hair and ran to my room to dress. My thoughts barely strayed from Jacob. He sounded so bad, like a ghost of the bright and exuberant Jacob I knew. I imagined what he must look like, running as a wolf for more than two weeks, disheveled and unkept. My heart sank. I could hear the vulnerability in his voice as he spoke to me on the phone, I could only imagine how that vulnerability would multiply for him when I saw him, knowing how wild he must now look. I was determined to make this as easy as possible for him.

I grabbed my backpack from under my bed, and my fleece throw from off of my chair. I knew it could be chilly on the beach and I didn't want Jacob to feel any need to warm me. I rolled up my fleece blanket and stuffed it into the backpack with my blue windbreaker. I then ran downstairs and left Charlie a note: "Charlie, Jacob called and needs to see me. I'm going to meet him and talk him into coming home. Please don't call Billy. I promised we wouldn't call Billy, but I made him promise that he would go home and see Billy tonight. Give me some time to talk with him. I'll be home as soon as I can. If Edward calls, tell him I love him and that I'll call him soon. -Bella"

I grabbed my truck keys, and the little silver cell phone Edward had given me, and rushed out the door. The truck started slowly, angry with me for neglecting to drive it much lately. I patted the dashboard affectionately when the engine finally caught, then I threw the truck into drive as I headed into town.

My first stop was the Thrifty mart. I ran to the deli department and selected a large container of Potato salad and another of Jell-O salad and some complimentary eating utensils from a Styrofoam cup on the counter. Then I picked up a roasted chicken, a bag of rolls, a bag of cookies, a couple of sodas and four bottles of water. Then I made my way across the store to the personal grooming aisle and picked up a small comb and a travel size toothbrush and toothpaste. Then made my way to the checkout.

My next stop was Newton's Sporting Goods. I was running out of time, but luckily I knew just what I was looking for. I avoided the gaze of Mrs. Newton as I made my way to the sports wear section of the store. After just a minute of searching through the outdoor wear, I found what I was looking for. I found a pair of lightweight nylon jogging pants made especially for backpackers that folded up small enough to be neatly tucked into it's own back pocket. I held up several pairs until I found a black pair that I guessed to be about the right size. Next I picked up a nylon micro-weave shirt that matched. Both garments together could be folded up into the size of a man's wallet. Hurriedly, I raced for the check out. I told myself that I hoped that my gifts would allow Jake to feel more comfortable and less self-conscious around me. But secretly, I knew, that it would be easier for me to be around Jake fully dressed than wearing his customary lone pair of shorts. The thought made me uneasy.

I jumped back in the truck as the sunlight broke through the low cloud cover. I could see patches of blue. Fitting, I thought, considering that I would soon see Jacob Black. I started the car and headed toward La Push and first beach. I began to feel nervous and guilty as I drove toward my meeting with Jake. What would I find when I got there? I couldn't believe how horribly broken he had sounded on the phone. Would I be able to look into his dark beautiful eyes? Most important, I had to make sure that he understood that things couldn't change. I had made my choice. Edward was my life, my destiny, beyond the constraints of this world. It didn't lessen my feelings for Jake, but I understood there just wasn't another choice. This would not be a renegotiation. Edward was my soul-mate, and without him, I just couldn't live. "Bella, I can't breathe. I can't eat. I can't sleep," Jacob's words came back to me. I swallowed hard, trying to dislodge the lump of guilt that suddenly settled there.

I parked the truck and looked down the length of the beach. I couldn't see Jacob anywhere. I picked up the little silver cell phone and tried Edward again. "Edward, it's me. I was just checking in again. I didn't want you to worry. I'll call you tonight. I hope you're having fun. I love you." I hung up and stuck the phone in my backpack. I got out the bag with the pants and the shirt and added the toiletries and two bottles of water to it. I then got out of the truck, and put two bottles of water and the cans of pop into my backpack, then hitched it onto my back. Then, with the bag containing Jacob's gifts hanging from one hand, and the bag containing our picnic lunch hanging from the other, I closed up my truck and headed down the beach to the trail. Along my way, I passed our bench - the long beached bleached-gray tree trunk with the finger-like roots on the end. I could feel the lump in my throat return as I remembered so many conversations that Jake and I had shared while sitting there. I picked my way across the multicolored stone beach until I reached the trail, then sat on a nearby boulder and watched the surf.

I could see a group of teenagers down the beach collecting driftwood. My mind returned to a similar trip I had made here almost a year and a half before - the first day I talked to Jacob Black. I wondered if I knew any of the teenagers down on the beach, I hoped they wouldn't see me. I concentrated on the sound of the surf, and tried not to think about anything. The smell of the salt, the sound of the waves and the sea birds had always been so cathartic to me - I slipped into deep thought.

"Bella?"

I startled and turned around as Jacob Black stepped out of the woods and onto the trail. He looked weary and trail-worn. His shorts were filthy and his hair was dull and unkept. He looked embarrassed, and not quite willing to step out of the shadows.

"Jake, ...I'm so glad to see you. You look...well, awful, Jake. I brought you a change of clothes and some lunch. Go change and I'll set up our picnic."

Jacob continued to look at the ground as he nodded at me and stepped forward and took the bag from me. I was stunned by his appearance. He looked more muscular than ever, but his eyes looked vacant. I hoped that the clothes I bought him fit.

I walked a little further down the beach to find a good quiet spot for our picnic. I settled on a small patch nestled just below the forest line. It was about a hundred yards out of sight from the trail head. I pulled my fleece throw out of my backpack and laid it on the sand then laid out on the blanket feeling the morning sun as it began to warm my skin. I let my mind wander.

"Thanks Bells"

I looked up and there stood Jacob Black, the dark nylon clothing revealing every muscle. His eyes a little brighter, and his hair glistening black and damp in the sun.

"You're welcome Jake. After our brief conversation this morning, I figured it had been a while since you'd had a change of clothes. Come sit down, Jake, I brought you some lunch, too."

"Thanks." Jacob dropped the bag with the water and toiletries and sat down on the blanket next to me facing the ocean. My heart raced as I felt his warmth radiate toward me. He still would not meet my eyes.

I opened the other bag and pulled out the plastic flatware, handing Jake a set. I then pulled out the now cold chicken, the rolls, and the potato and Jell-O salad. "Sorry, I forgot to get plates," I said.

"That's ok. This looks great. I'm starving," Jake replied with a little more enthusiasm. He continued to stare at the ocean.

He picked up the carton of potato salad, removed the lid and dug in. After a few bites, he held the carton toward me and finally looked me in the eyes.

"No thanks," I answered. "So where have you been, Jake. Why did you leave?"

He shrugged, "Not sure, I think I got as far east as the Wenatchee National Forest east of Seattle. I just ran. I left when I got your wedding invitation in the mail, I just needed to go far away and think."

"My invitation? Jake, I didn't send you one. I didn't want to hurt you, to make you feel obligated in any way. How did you...," I asked confused.

"Edward sent it to me," he said quietly, "He sent a note, too. He said he thought I had the right to choose for myself. He was right. He wasn't trying to hurt me, so don't get mad at him. Besides, Bella, what were you thinking? Were you not going to invite Billy? What would Charlie have thought? Anyway, I just needed to run. To clear my mind. How long have I been gone?"

"16 days," I said.

"Really?"

"Yes, Jake, really." I answered annoyed. "We've been really worried. Sam told Billy that you would come back and not to worry, but Billy has been a wreck. Sam wouldn't tell him what you were thinking or where you were"

"Sorry. Sam told everyone not to phase for a couple of days, to give me some time without everyone in my head. Then every couple of days I could make out the distant thoughts of my pack mates, but they tried hard not to interfere - to stay out of my head, as much as possible." Sam phased to check on me yesterday and suggested it was time to come home. I realized I couldn't put this off any longer." Jacob opened the bag of rolls and took out three and I handed him a can of coke.

"And what is 'this', Jake" I asked, my hands starting to shake.

Again, Jake fell into silence, watching the water and working on lunch. We watched as a couple of joggers passed by down at the high tide mark. They didn't notice us.

"So, how long until the big day?"

I knew he was going to take things at his own pace. "6 days," I answered.

"And then," He asked?

"Do you really want to hear about all of this," I asked, ready for him to get to the point.

"Yes, I want to know everything," this time he looked directly into my eyes, and sounded like my Jacob Black. "I have to know, Bella."

"Ok. Then we'll spend a few days alone here in Forks at Edward's house. When his family returns, we'll make plans for my ...renovations. However, Charlie and Renee, and everyone else thinks we're leaving for Alaska immediately after the wedding." I answered.

"Where will you make the change, Bella?"

"I don't know. I would like to stay somewhere familiar. I wanted to be in Edward's house here in Forks, but the family doesn't want to cause problems with the pack. It would be easier to be somewhere familiar, I think, to make the change, and then leave, when it's safe enough to move me. I think we will eventually head for somewhere in Idaho or Alaska, for a while."

"So, do you and Edward plan on - you know - 'honeymooning' here in Forks, or will that have to wait until after the change," Jacob asked while looking at me with pain in his eyes.

"That - is - none - of - your - business - Jacob Black!" I angrily stated, with a blush creeping into my cheeks. "Why would you think you could ask something like that?"

"So, you haven't...done anything yet..., with Edward I mean."

"Jake! What makes you think you have the right to ask me this? This is not a renegotiation. The decision is made. I will be married to Edward in 6 days, then I will be his, in every way that matters," I was shouting. I looked into his eyes and tried to make my tone kinder: "I'm sorry you're hurt. I'm sorry, but I can't change things. It's like Sam and Emily, Jacob, I don't think I ever really had a choice." Things were quiet for a few minutes. I could tell he was trying to choose his words.

"Let's go for a drive, Bella." Jake jumped up and began gathering the remains of our lunch. His tone was lighter, more Jacob. "Thanks again for lunch, for the change of clothes and the toothbrush. I was feeling pretty - feral," he mischievously smiled.